Jake Gyllenhaal

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Kiefer Sutherland?! postpixplzkthx

― Mama Roux (Mama Roux), Friday, 10 March 2006 01:42 (eighteen years ago) link

the ball-scooping motion going on in that first photo...

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Friday, 10 March 2006 04:01 (eighteen years ago) link

It irritates me no end that Gyllie can flash that 100-watt smile whether he's dealing with Oprah-related inanity or Peter Sarsgaard cupping his balls.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 04:15 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't like Jarhead Jake.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 10 March 2006 04:34 (eighteen years ago) link

If anyone has Zodiac pics, now's the time to post'em.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:44 (eighteen years ago) link

I like Jarhead Jake less. Seems like a totally different entity.

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Jarhead Jake works fine for me BEFORE they made him shave his torso for shooting.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:11 (eighteen years ago) link

His lips and eyeballs are almost comically enlarged. He still looks hot to me:

http://www.moviesonline.ca/movie-gallery/albums/jarhead/jarhead.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Like I said, muppety.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

if there is anything i like in a man, it is "comically enlarged"

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh, the muppety thing is so so OTM

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Agreed. Jake's got a muppety look about him.

― Mama Roux (Mama Roux), Friday, 10 March 2006 19:06 (eighteen years ago) link

You are all daft.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 19:09 (eighteen years ago) link

That much more Toothy for you and me.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 10 March 2006 19:54 (eighteen years ago) link

So why has Toothy recanted?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 20:17 (eighteen years ago) link

like lots of actors, he has a very large head

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 10 March 2006 20:21 (eighteen years ago) link

"You know what they say about a man with comically enlarged lips and eyeballs...."

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Friday, 10 March 2006 23:05 (eighteen years ago) link

http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/6271/standin9iw.jpg

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Saturday, 11 March 2006 19:40 (eighteen years ago) link

About time someone commented on last month's Vanity Fair shoot.

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:16 (eighteen years ago) link

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Dammit:

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:21 (eighteen years ago) link

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

(use http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg" >)

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

wifout spaces.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

he looks so perfect in the sarsgaard ball-cupping picture.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:40 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh. my favorite thread ever. i've said it before, and i'll say it again: he's so hot it makes me wanna barf

― killy (baby lenin pin), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link

This boy is insultingly handsome. I feel a bit dirty even looking at those pictures - he's so young!

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Who knew that looking like a nondescript fratboy made you the paragon of male American attractiveness?

― Dan (Affleck Syndrome) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:32 (eighteen years ago) link

What would postage on one of those frat-boy things be?

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:33 (eighteen years ago) link

(xpost) Uhhhh, no.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan yr treading on precarious grounds with some of the Hollywood wimmin folx you've claimed are hot!!! For heavens sakes Halle Berry looks like those Ethnic Barbies they used to put out that were of kind of non-descript race and were the same thing as Barbie, except "brown"!

I WILL DEFEND U, JAKE

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:35 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.renge.jp/cgi-bin/blosxom/files/0509/050905_2.jpg

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Um, thanks for pointing out exactly why Halle Berry is hot, Ally. I was confused for a second.

That is also the sexiest Barbie doll I've ever seen; help?

― Dan (ROWR WAIT IT'S A DOLL OMG) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:41 (eighteen years ago) link

...

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link

He's on some other shit.

― Jimmy Mod: GRILL ENSPEKTOR (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Jimmy teh Mod says her boobies aren't that good. xpost

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:44 (eighteen years ago) link

(The important word in my Jake post is "nondescript"; he's got this Affleck-esque quality of almost complete physical anonymity. For me, one hallmark of attractiveness is some distinctive physical trait; for Halle it's those amazing eyes/nose, for Salma it's that ridiculously curvy body, for Angela Basset it's those amazing cheekbones, etc etc etc. Jake Gyllenhaal's distinctive feature appears to be having a ladyface.)

― Dan (I Don't Get It) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

(n e wayz, my point was that dissing a dude for being too generic good-looking guy standard (which isn't true of Jake anyway!) is a bad position 4 u 2 be taking)

(I can't believe I'm bored enuff 2 b writing like this and laughing at it)

XPOSTS Angela Basset and Salma Hayek don't fall into the uncanny valley world of celebrities to me!!!!!!!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I guess I would take that criticism on the chin if I believed that there are legions of women out there who look just like Halle Berry.

― Dan (Now, Jennifer Aniston And Jennifer Garner...) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:48 (eighteen years ago) link

i disagree with the "anonymity" claim -- what makes him attractive for me is that he always looks like a bar mitzvah boy getting drunk for the first time.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow, Dan is wrong about everydamnthing.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Haha well that's me told.

― Dan (Chagrin!) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Dude, Jake has amazing huge doe-eyes.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

OK Jennifer Aniston is not generic looking at all. Incredibly unattractive in my opinion, but she doesn't look like she was created by a morphing program done up by some Stanford researcher trying to create the perfectly symmetrical face. WHICH IS CREEPY. UNCANNY VALLEY. ETC.

I think maybe we have different definitions of "generic looking"??

also yeah jbr is otm!!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan, name some of the MEN you find attractive and tell us why. maybe you just don't find men attractive really? Halle certainly looks hot to me but selma is completely *meh* (to me)and that's essentially because i just don't find women that enticing, on the whole. with jake it may not be so much that there's any one stand out thing but that the whole package comes together perfectly and that he seems pretty natural with it. speaking for myself, i think his eyes are mesmerising.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:54 (eighteen years ago) link

jennifer aniston isn't unattractive, but thanks to bradgate she's got this victimized hausfrau image that she'll never be able to shake.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

J.Aniston was a lot cuter (comparitively) when she started Friends and had mousey hair and some chub to her than she is now. Still wasn't cute to me but it wasn't trying too hard, you know?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

jen will never be cuter than she was in leprechaun.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

well really I'm not sure why she tried to top that movie anyway.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

maybe you just don't find men attractive really?

I freely admit that this is probably a gigantic factor in me Not Getting Jake.

The guys I think are handsome or attractive are guys I either think I look like or would really like to look like: Shemar Moore, Jesse L. Martin, Brad Pitt, Larenz Tate, Harrison Ford, Djimon Honsou... people like that.

― Dan (Not Some Doe-Eyed Anonyboy) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

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Jake Gyllenhaal - C or D?