Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

clippy was a douchebag

*makes "whatever" fingers at VG*

all my menus gone
what do i click on?
IT staff don't fear the ribbon
nor do the keyboard shortcut nerds

I could possibly sort of miss the little cat/dog that you could replace Clippy with. Or the half-hour when I discovered you could trigger all the assistant animations via Access macros and watched them all instead of doing any work, anyway.

iirc you could customise toolbars in pre-ribbon versions? I've never really done it though because then I have to look even more dumb than usual if I use someone else's computer

I'm not sure if you could do this in pre-ribbon editions

y

menus aren't gone, they're just pictures now

FFM I'm pretty sure that's the only thing I have over you in Excel, based on yr already established madskillz :)

hold on tight, we're all going to get rich:

what if we manufacture keyboards that have the words "copy" on the C key, "paste" on the V, "cut" on the X, "undo" on the Z, "underline" on the U, "bold" on the B, "reload" on the R, etc? same concept as the dollar sign on the 4, asterisk on the 8, all of that. people are used to that, they understand if they hold down the control key and press 8 they'll get that other symbol instead. is it too much of a stretch to think they could could also understand copy and paste?

I can't really picture the old excel anymore, gosh. I blame being sick. APS otm about looking like a fool on other computers. Occasionally I try to use the macro shortcuts I've set up on others then remember its only set up on my home/work profiles.

ope, too late, i already did it.

i'm retired and i post from here now

http://i49.tinypic.com/13ynzuq.jpg

we could even put "italics" on the I

this keyboard is so rad they named it after me
http://world.std.com/~jdostale/kbd/SpaceCadet1.jpeg

it also doesn't actually have a Copy key like I thought it did but I'm not going to let that get in the way of me pasting it

FFM I'm pretty sure that's the only thing I have over you in Excel, based on yr already established madskillz :)

Zs I am glad you are the world's future
fuck many xps

finally, a thumbs down key!

xpost <3

I always customized all my toolbars and HATE anything where I can't.

Ie now.

mr veg got me thinking about 'how many mouseclicks' a while ago, and since then I've been shortcut girl

Hah!
When I was in HS my mouse broke and we couldn't afford any for a couple months so I became an expert at both mouse keys and any alt/ctrl shortcut going.

I call it "lexcel" <--why I have no friends

this made me imagine lex pretend trying to use excel, which would be hilarious

The ribbon is the bane of my existence. I went from an MS Word power user to a total chump.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, October 9, 2012 8:37 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm. fukken ribbon

xxp Watching my dyspraxic coworker do everything with the mouse (including selecting 60,000 rows of data by clicking on cell A1 and dragging the mouse to cell F60000 over the course of several minutes and several restart-inducing misclicks, and including copying and pasting 3-letter commands or variable names from the previous line instead of retyping them) would have made me shortcut girl, except I was already, so it just made me twitch and mutter

that would have made me homicide girl

When I was in HS my mouse broke and we couldn't afford any

When I was in junior high the little bit of plastic that held the mouse-ball in pre-optical mice broke and I got really good at working the mouse by putting my thumbs inside the mouse cavity and rolling the little metal cylinders. I even used Paint like this!

omg

xp That's expert level! I definitely manipulated it for a laugh when cleaning but never did much of substance.

The ribbon is the bane of my existence. I went from an MS Word power user to a total chump.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, October 9, 2012 8:37 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm. fukken ribbon

― skrill xx (cozen), Tuesday, October 9, 2012 10:41 PM (3 minutes ago)

Dammit yes, that bastard ribbon.

I think I mainly just painted straight lines during this period (art critic voice), but, y'know.

wow, lotsa ribbon haters

what if we manufacture keyboards that have the words "copy" on the C key, "paste" on the V, "cut" on the X, "undo" on the Z, "underline" on the U, "bold" on the B, "reload" on the R, etc?

That would look a lot like a ZX Spectrum keyboard (although it has BASIC commands on the keys, not shortcuts)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/33/ZXSpectrum48k.jpg/640px-ZXSpectrum48k.jpg

this made me imagine lex pretend trying to use excel, which would be hilarious

lol. I'd like to put lex p. and my boss together in an office that can only be unlocked by successfully creating a table in Word with a header that repeats across pages.

Like an office version of The Crystal Maze?

Richard O'Brian: "Welcome to the Office Zone. Team captain, select a type of game."

Like an Office version of Cube more like.

I was going to embed a youtube of the Adam and Joe spoof of the Crystal Maze with Star Wars figurines, but Channel 4 have kindly blocked it in the UK, which I have to admit is probably the only country where it makes any damn sense at all

"only one crystal have you got - complete crap have you been! shafted are you!"

(dear unsuspecting link-followers: please drink a lot before clicking that link, and then it may become approximately 0.02% as hilarious as it was to me aged 17. but probably not. it isn't actually very good.)

I remember seeing that on TV and laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

jon via chicago! A federal just in Denver just awarded a guy $7.3mil in damages in the first successful consumer popcorn lung lawsuit. Keep that in your back pocket in case your popcorn crazed coworker continues to fill your office with diacetyl fumes.

Look for microwave popcorn makers to advertise products as "Now all natural! No diacetyl!"

Today she can't figure out how to use Sort Kwik fingertip moisturizer.

I walked in and she was touching it, then kind of poking her fingertips together. When she saw me, she said (jokingly) "Help, I broke it!" I showed her how to rub her fingers together, and she tried it, but she did it wrong* several times, so instead of giving fingers more traction, it made them slicker. She went back to licking her fingers.

*she wasn't rubbing them together vigorously enough, or with enough surface contact.

I showed her how to rub her fingers together
I showed her how to rub her fingers together
I showed her how to rub her fingers together
I showed her how to rub her fingers together
I showed her how to rub her fingers together
I showed her how to rub her fingers together

She's going to die of Sort-Kwik poisoning!

Get her a rubber finger. She'll probably blind herself with it and then you'll have to teach her how to use dictation software.

someone has made it too hot in herre

take off all your clothes

irl lols

carl, she uses rubber finger tips. apparently without incident, even.

jon via chicago! A federal just in Denver just awarded a guy $7.3mil in damages in the first successful consumer popcorn lung lawsuit. Keep that in your back pocket in case your popcorn crazed coworker continues to fill your office with diacetyl fumes.

Maybe I can launch this into a lucrative second-hand suit for unwanted exposure to diacetyl fumes.

Dear co-worker: If you have time to both call me (while I happen to be away from my desk) AND to send me an email that says nothing more than "Ring me when you have sec ;)" you have time to tell me what the fuck you want, you passive-aggressive jerk.

Just got cc'd on an email which contained the phrase "would be great to hear your thoughts." So I replied with my thoughts, and received the following reply from my immediate supervisor: "Thanks for your input, but hold off on commenting; it’s not really a majority vote." Um, I was pretty sure opinions were being solicited.

u_u

-what do you think?
-well i um
-NO ONE ASKED YOU

Happens at my co kind of often because they're only asking for opins from the IMPORTANT people on the email.