"Now, he was also a football player at one time, right?"
― pplains, Thursday, 11 October 2012 23:45 (eleven years ago) link
*heavy sigh* is u&k
― mookieproof, Thursday, 11 October 2012 23:58 (eleven years ago) link
Me, to bike messenger dispatcher: Hello, I was quoted a delivery time of 4:45 or sooner on a rush order, but so far no one has even picked it up. That firm may close early
Dispatcher: Well sir, it's only just 4:47 right now.
Right, so it should have been delivered by now, but the envelope is still here, and their office is going to close soon.
Okay, but what I'm saying is that it's just barely past 4:45. That's only two minutes, sir.
:-|
― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Friday, 12 October 2012 22:39 (eleven years ago) link
oy
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 12 October 2012 22:40 (eleven years ago) link
Did you eventually make him realize he was stupid?
― bell biv devo (Stevie D(eux)), Saturday, 13 October 2012 00:16 (eleven years ago) link
She put me on hold to call the messenger just as he walked in the door. His phone rang after he left. The dispatcher told me, "It's en route. He said he picked it up five minutes ago."
Presumably he lied, but why would she - I just ???
― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Saturday, 13 October 2012 03:16 (eleven years ago) link
There's a girl in my office who likes to pull the "lol I'm so dumb" card to attract attention to herself, like as in she frequently brags about being bad at spelling and pronouncing words; encourages people to give her "quizzes" so she can blatantly mangle words and collapse in a giggling fit while people tell her that she's "something else" or whatever; constantly comes into work with "oh man you're not gonna believe the dumb thing I did last night/this morning" stories; etc.
Anyway, yesterday she sent out an e-mail, then recalled it and resent it with words that were previously spelled correctly now misspelled. This morning I overheard her telling someone that she thought no one was able to read an e-mail if she recalled it.
― trebek sajak (cwkiii), Friday, 26 October 2012 14:20 (eleven years ago) link
thqt's wierd.
― make like a steak and beef (dog latin), Friday, 26 October 2012 14:24 (eleven years ago) link
i kown, rite?
― trebek sajak (cwkiii), Friday, 26 October 2012 14:26 (eleven years ago) link
the "lol i'm so dumb" thing is the worst thing on earth
― but the boo boyz are getting to (Z S), Friday, 26 October 2012 14:39 (eleven years ago) link
But he is very tightly wound and the slightest problem will make him yell loudly at his desk, or storm over to our cubicles and start ranting.
I work with a guy like this. It's like he's training for the Olympic 400m Exasperated Sigh.
We have a software system named after an explorer -- I'll call it Vespucci -- and he just yelled "FUCK YOU, VESPUCCI!"
― 5-Hour Enmity (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 26 October 2012 14:44 (eleven years ago) link
God yes.
― carl agatha, Friday, 26 October 2012 15:18 (eleven years ago) link
I recommend the blunt emotionless approach. "Do you put on a dumb act to lower expectations of your performance?"
― WilliamC, Friday, 26 October 2012 15:26 (eleven years ago) link
i guess it might be fun to have a dumboff dumbdown to highlight the absurdity of taking pride in being dumb and even using it to gain attention. just keep the conversation going, challenging her to bring herself to reach new dumb valleys. if you get stuck you can just stutter and then say "...I forgot the word THE! ahahahahhaha" to bring yourself back into the dumboff dumbdown. first one to lick the wall (for whatever reason) wins
― but the boo boyz are getting to (Z S), Friday, 26 October 2012 15:40 (eleven years ago) link
Dumboff dumbdown sounds like a good idea but with my luck I'd end up getting way too into it and falling out the window or something.
― trebek sajak (cwkiii), Friday, 26 October 2012 15:46 (eleven years ago) link
first one to lick the wall (for whatever reason) wins
hahahaha
― WilliamC, Friday, 26 October 2012 15:53 (eleven years ago) link
it's possible that she once participated in a dumboff dumbdown in an ironic way, ended up winning, and then forgot that it was all an act
― but the boo boyz are getting to (Z S), Friday, 26 October 2012 16:12 (eleven years ago) link
there's a dude on my team, nice enough guy, but he's fascistically positive like he's trying to force people to like him. "what's up rockin dude, how's your AWESOME day/?!?" "you're awesome, he's awesome, you're all AWESOME!!!" it's like if ned flanders merged with stuart smalley and became a used car salesman.
― Spectrum, Friday, 26 October 2012 16:16 (eleven years ago) link
Those are usually the guys who sit alone on the commode at night, crying while holding a pistol to their temple.
― pplains, Friday, 26 October 2012 16:23 (eleven years ago) link
oh we have a guy like that except it's like he has inner ear problems because he always shouts. The worst is waiting for the elevator in the lobby and you don't hear him coming. Without you even turning around he'll give you a boombing GOOD MORNING!!! HOW ARE YOU? as you jump 3 feet in the air and spend the next 10 minutes regaining composure.He's scared the living crap out of me on countless occasions.But it's like he's running for mayor. FABULOUS HOW ARE YOU? THAT'S FANTASTIC GREAT TO HEAR!! HAVE A TERRIFIC DAY!!!
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 26 October 2012 16:24 (eleven years ago) link
and pplains is 100% otm
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 26 October 2012 16:25 (eleven years ago) link
running for mayor's a good way to put it. wouldn't be surprised about the gun to temple thing. sometimes he'll let some dark things slip out, like "god I suck so much..." in the same cadence as his uhhh ... other effluences. whenever he's on the scene the room fills with this oppressive, phoney-sounding positivity. i just want to tell him "c'mon man, be real! we already like you."
― Spectrum, Friday, 26 October 2012 16:39 (eleven years ago) link
Dear co-worker who sits half the office away from me: shut up. Shutupshutupshutupshutup shut the fuuuck upppppp. Shut up about X Factor. Shut up about your coffee mug. Shut up about the equality training video. Shut up about the film you were talking about yesterday. SHUT UPPPPPPPPP I AM TRYING TO WORK
― kinder, Friday, 26 October 2012 17:04 (eleven years ago) link
nevermind, on further inspection, i do not like mayor of awesometown. may frankenstorm tear off the roof over his head and whisk him away to far off lands.
― Spectrum, Friday, 26 October 2012 17:56 (eleven years ago) link
What happened?
― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Friday, 26 October 2012 19:39 (eleven years ago) link
nothing new. i just thought that image was amusing and felt the need to share it.
― Spectrum, Friday, 26 October 2012 20:52 (eleven years ago) link
Let's get Corner Bakery to cater our Thanksgiving / holiday party. Real high class behavior there. Guess we're not in the holiday spirit this year. I mean, it's the holiday, I find it hard to get excited about a "Spinach Crisp Salad". Whee.
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Sneakin' and Peekin' (Mount Cleaners), Monday, 29 October 2012 15:48 (eleven years ago) link
Spectrum's dude
http://images.allmoviephoto.com/1999_Magnolia/1999_magnolia_034.jpg
― qiqing, Monday, 29 October 2012 21:40 (eleven years ago) link
A company emailed us a some PDFs of personnel files and it seems like they worked really hard to make such a simple thing such a jumblefuck. It was a Russian nesting doll of emails within emails.
- There were 15 emails with subjects such as "Scan," "Scans," and "Scan file.
- Each and every one of those 15 emails contained up to 4 other emails as attachments, all with similarly ambiguous, redundant names
- FINALLY within those emails - 30-some of them - were the PDFs
― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Monday, 29 October 2012 22:37 (eleven years ago) link
And
- The 30-some PDFs were named "Scan00001," "Scan00002," etc. Easy! Organized! Right?
- No! B/c they re-used the same names numerous times. lololol
This HR department has to produce a number files like this all them time....IDGI
― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Monday, 29 October 2012 22:41 (eleven years ago) link
on average, nobody understands how to use computers
― www.toilet-guru.com (silby), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 03:59 (eleven years ago) link
otm.
braying ass left to pursue a career in social research. curious lack of co-worker annoyance atm, likely means i'm it.
― but with socks instead of football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 09:43 (eleven years ago) link
OK, weird question, but it's coworker-related so here we go. Back in high school or whatever, someone told me that women who crossed their legs and bounced them up and down were essentially masturbating. How true is this? There is someone in my office who does this constantly through every meeting. I work in an office full of women, but only one person does this. How grossed out should I be? ILE, you decide!
― how's life, Thursday, 1 November 2012 15:57 (eleven years ago) link
Is she bouncing them up and down like a showgirl? Maybe switch to 1/2 decaf in your office coffee.
I have no idea what your co-worker looks like, but if she weighs 300 pounds and wears a tent dress to work, it's not likely she's getting off on it! If she has hot dancer's legs, maybe!
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Dannon's Yogurt Dumplings and Pam Poo (Mount Cleaners), Thursday, 1 November 2012 16:01 (eleven years ago) link
it doesn't *have* to mean she's masturbating. 99% probability she's not and she's just got restless leg syndrome or is kinda hyperactive or just is nervous and hates being in meetings.
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 1 November 2012 16:06 (eleven years ago) link
These answers so far are reassuring. I can just be annoyed, rather than grossed out.
― how's life, Thursday, 1 November 2012 16:10 (eleven years ago) link
pretty much
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 1 November 2012 16:12 (eleven years ago) link
I have sympathy for you, you may sound intolerant, but sometimes someone has a physical disorder they can't help....and some people are just annoying. Shit like that can send you to EAP or counseling really fast!
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Vote M. Carey for County Board Presiden (Mount Cleaners), Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:05 (eleven years ago) link
I can't work out how someone's looks/weight determines whether or not they masturbate.
― oh shawx (onimo), Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:07 (eleven years ago) link
Uh...in public - at work?? I'm not saying heavy people are ugly - far from it, just that they might be less vain! I'm sorry but people who show off at work tend to be, uh..."hot" in the conventional sense of the term.
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Vote M. Carey for County Board Presiden (Mount Cleaners), Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:09 (eleven years ago) link
Thanks, omimo. I wondered too! I'm on the heavy side and perfectly capable of masturbating, though I rarely choose to do so at the office. Squeezing can be done without the legs to answer the original question - feels nice, but not particularly orgasmic. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong.
Question reminds me of buried childhood memory - gr7 band teacher used to squeeze his buttocks with the beat. So weird!
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:12 (eleven years ago) link
I mean, I just heard about this thing from like, a buddy in 10th grade history class or something, like it was a secret masturbation technique. Hadn't really questioned it but I also hadn't seen very many women do this since then. But then I noticed this coworker is doing this every time I see them.
And re: the hot thing, she is definitely not "hot" or trying consciously act sexy for our coworkers. Based on other information I know about her, she may have athletic legs.
― how's life, Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:14 (eleven years ago) link
ffm, that's so gross.
anyway the point is that apocryphal hearsay from high school isn't always factually based. cf: girls are physically unable to fart, etc.
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:15 (eleven years ago) link
HL: totally get it. Funny. Obviously when you're aroused everything is a bit more sensitive & tingly & whatnot, but I feel in a workplace setting its unlikely the goal is getting rocks off..
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:16 (eleven years ago) link
ftr, the "gross" was in response to your band teacher.
― how's life, Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:19 (eleven years ago) link
Haha, I figured. Mine was an xp.
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:20 (eleven years ago) link
My pet peeve is when someone keeps staring at me while I try to surreptitiously masturbate during meetings.
― pplains, Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:20 (eleven years ago) link
Oh, wait. That's actually my favorite thing about my co-workers.
working for penthouse forum has its positives
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:21 (eleven years ago) link