Families don't even sit down and have nice conversations at the dinner table anymore. They're too busy tweeting each other pornography and washing down their mashed potatoes with Four Loko.
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:05 (eleven years ago) link
These days you go to a wedding and the groom is still getting a lap dance from some hussy right up until he slips the ring onto the bride's finger
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:08 (eleven years ago) link
We only had Three Loko when I was a kid.
― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:10 (eleven years ago) link
this is really the best
We would wake up in the morning. Later we would go to bed at night. I never heard anyone question it.
― ice crӕm, Monday, August 25, 2008 4:24 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― johnny crunch, Monday, 15 October 2012 19:10 (eleven years ago) link
When I was a child my mother would have cut off her arm for me. Nowadays, a child would be lucky to get a mother's fingernail paring, and it all laquered up with with nail polish!
― Aimless, Monday, 15 October 2012 19:12 (eleven years ago) link
Strippers used to say "Thank you very much, Sir" when you placed a dollar in their garter. Now they just give you a dirty look, as though it's your fault their Vicodin hasn't kicked in yet
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:13 (eleven years ago) link
All the Loko being drunk nowadays is premade store-bought swill. What's the point, even??
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:14 (eleven years ago) link
in loko parentis
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:15 (eleven years ago) link
I remember when you could kick Vicodin in the street.
― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:15 (eleven years ago) link
Used to be the TV preachers would spend their money on nice houses and fancy cars. Now they just blow it all on dirt grade heroin and firewalking seminars
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:17 (eleven years ago) link
Used to be a dealer would give you the first couple bags free. He'd chat with you, ask after your family. Now they're all just in it for the money...
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:18 (eleven years ago) link
time was you could doff your hat to a young lady without being brutally shanked. No more, no more.
― Arvo Pärt Chimp (Neil S), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:23 (eleven years ago) link
When I grew up we thought filth was just something in the front garden. Now if you watch the telly, you have to wipe your shoes after.
― Aimless, Monday, 15 October 2012 19:26 (eleven years ago) link
Remember when horseradish mustard was a condiment, and not just something to smear all over your boobs during your daughter's wedding reception?
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:33 (eleven years ago) link
People used to flash their lighters at rock concerts. It was a wonderful, ecstatically communal moment. Now they're too busy peeing on each other.
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:34 (eleven years ago) link
Remember when gals used to throw their panties towards pop singers onstage? Now it's just paternity suit paperwork and day-old bagels
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:38 (eleven years ago) link
Nowadays "Choose Your Own Adventure" books all take place either in brothels or fast food joints. Disgusting...
― dell (del), Monday, 15 October 2012 19:39 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONDccArUA54&feature=share
― Fetchboy, Monday, 15 October 2012 20:20 (eleven years ago) link
nowadays most things are certain to be a knife.
― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Monday, 15 October 2012 23:31 (eleven years ago) link
snoball bringing the a game itt today
don't wanna harsh dude's buzz after saying that, but all these years i thought his whole schtick was he only had a b game
― the oft-posited third fisherman (darraghmac), Monday, 15 October 2012 23:33 (eleven years ago) link
Can't even call someone a biggot anymore...
― where is el airoporto? (dog latin), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 01:34 (eleven years ago) link
time was you could use the letter g whenever you wanted, before the bureaucrats in brussels told us what to do with our very own british letters.
― Perfect Chicken Forever (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 01:43 (eleven years ago) link
Internet's gone to hell ever since Woman's Day magazine ran that insert offering a free AOL trial period
― dell (del), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 01:50 (eleven years ago) link
"There is no such thing as society" - Margaret Thatcher
― Iago Galdston, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 02:18 (eleven years ago) link
In my youth being part of a gang was akin to Enid Blyton's Famous Five. Nowadays being part of a gang means taking part in violence and the only entry requirement is to be lacking in brain cells.
- JoJo , Swansea, United Kingdom, 28/10/2012 20:09
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Sunday, 28 October 2012 20:23 (eleven years ago) link
just saw a child kick a ball on the street
― call all destroyer, Friday, 5 April 2013 19:50 (eleven years ago) link
I am becoming the old baldy, beetroot-faced meany type character who shouts "SHUT THE FUCKING GATE THIS TIME" at these kids when they keep kicking the ball into my garden. I never thought that would be my destiny when I used to read the Beano as a kid and buzz at adult authority figures getting their greenhouses smashed up.
― Damo Suzuki's Parrot, Friday, 5 April 2013 22:27 (eleven years ago) link
once you could cycle straight down the bike path, nowadays, all at once, without commentary, there appears a christmas market blocking the way.
― Vasco da Gama, Friday, 21 June 2013 23:09 (eleven years ago) link
it's gotten to the point i can't even leave my pint on the bar when i need a piss without worrying some bloody hoodie's gonna roofie it for a laugh.
― i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 21 June 2013 23:15 (eleven years ago) link
they wouldn't give you a roofie any more than they'd give you the time of day, nowadays they'd drink your pint then literally force the rohypnol up your arse and charge you for the privilege before uploading the whole thing onto their so-called i-phones
― The drone that was played caused panic and confusion (Noodle Vague), Friday, 21 June 2013 23:21 (eleven years ago) link
In Hull, teenagers in baseball caps and tracksuits wander aimlessly.
― this is how a punch sounds, like ditch, like quitch (soref), Friday, 11 October 2013 21:56 (ten years ago) link
Jade Goody, foul-mouthed star of Big Brother and various other vulgar extravaganzas, has succumbed to cancer. In keeping with the spirit of the times, the Prime Minister put out a statement mourning her loss.
― this is how a punch sounds, like ditch, like quitch (soref), Friday, 11 October 2013 21:58 (ten years ago) link
St George's Day has been a low-key event in London in recent years, dwarfed by a St Patrick's Day parade funded to the tune of £100,000, and enormous crowds at Gay Pride.
― this is how a punch sounds, like ditch, like quitch (soref), Friday, 11 October 2013 22:11 (ten years ago) link
What is going on here is a continued effort by self hating insecure feminists (of which the male equivalent is the flaky 'self employed' 12noon rising hipster) to further our move towards a dystopian police state devoid of humour, self depreciation and honesty.
Instead, our town centres, that 15 years ago, were full of a mix of the elderly and respectable families, are now full of a tattooed underclass, gender confused emo kids, big issue sellers (it's a crime ring folks, look it up!), uncooperative noisy talentless 'buskers', useless PCOs, immoral traffic wardens after a quick £60 for the council coffers etc. All because whilst humour and a little sauce is banned by Big Brother, trash, debt, drugs, crime and for profit law and order is now OK.
Suggest this woman sorts herself out and stops messing with lads whose natural instincts are to drool over the opposite sex, whether you like it or not. Oh, and no woman appearing in those magazines is forced to.
This country is becoming a living hell.
― when I was Ted Croker man I couldn't picture this (DJ Mencap), Sunday, 13 October 2013 16:11 (ten years ago) link
What's a frog's favourite football bureaucrat?
Ted Croaker
― In times of osterity, these Eton-educated poshboys (Bananaman Begins), Monday, 14 October 2013 15:23 (ten years ago) link
This morning, I asked my neighbor casually if her daughter was off to school, and she replied "Si". SI? This is AMERICA, honey. We talk English here.
― Neanderthal, Monday, 14 October 2013 15:24 (ten years ago) link
only because your english immigrants won the race war tbf
― unblog your plug (darraghmac), Monday, 14 October 2013 16:41 (ten years ago) link
Effing hipsters and their goddamned police state.
― Treeship, Monday, 14 October 2013 16:47 (ten years ago) link
Some have criticised the FA, but it is a decision that will make for an electric atmosphere and while it will also lift Poland, England defender Leighton Baines believes it will also act as inspiration for Roy Hodgson's side.
― Evil Juice Box Man (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 10:22 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
it's actually a disgrace that he's paid to write.
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 13:28 (ten years ago) link
my license fee!
― Evil Juice Box Man (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 13:45 (ten years ago) link
yeah as much content as we have bled out of his brain-damaged prose, his continued employment in the public sector (effectively) is a sort of disgrace
which is why it belongs in this thread
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 13:48 (ten years ago) link
the fact he doesn't even seem to get subbed is kinda depressing. like who runs that site? they obv don't care v much.
― Evil Juice Box Man (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 13:49 (ten years ago) link
subbed after 70 mins
― unblog your plug (darraghmac), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 13:53 (ten years ago) link
even simon cox would be an improvement
― Evil Juice Box Man (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 13:56 (ten years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/stBn3iJ.png
― flopson, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 14:11 (ten years ago) link
lawl
i did a thread for ilx ads
my only thread with zero responses, ilx is in the gutter
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 14:13 (ten years ago) link
Local Garda's OP here is all-time, IMHO.
― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 15:53 (ten years ago) link
Time was a man could make a post like that.
― Tim, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 16:18 (ten years ago) link
controversial former society is in the gutter man garda
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 16:33 (ten years ago) link
rip
― Evil Juice Box Man (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 16:47 (ten years ago) link