Jake Gyllenhaal

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About time someone commented on last month's Vanity Fair shoot.

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:16 (eighteen years ago) link

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Dammit:

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:21 (eighteen years ago) link

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

(use http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg" >)

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

wifout spaces.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

he looks so perfect in the sarsgaard ball-cupping picture.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:40 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh. my favorite thread ever. i've said it before, and i'll say it again: he's so hot it makes me wanna barf

― killy (baby lenin pin), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link

This boy is insultingly handsome. I feel a bit dirty even looking at those pictures - he's so young!

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Who knew that looking like a nondescript fratboy made you the paragon of male American attractiveness?

― Dan (Affleck Syndrome) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:32 (eighteen years ago) link

What would postage on one of those frat-boy things be?

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:33 (eighteen years ago) link

(xpost) Uhhhh, no.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan yr treading on precarious grounds with some of the Hollywood wimmin folx you've claimed are hot!!! For heavens sakes Halle Berry looks like those Ethnic Barbies they used to put out that were of kind of non-descript race and were the same thing as Barbie, except "brown"!

I WILL DEFEND U, JAKE

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:35 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.renge.jp/cgi-bin/blosxom/files/0509/050905_2.jpg

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Um, thanks for pointing out exactly why Halle Berry is hot, Ally. I was confused for a second.

That is also the sexiest Barbie doll I've ever seen; help?

― Dan (ROWR WAIT IT'S A DOLL OMG) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:41 (eighteen years ago) link

...

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link

He's on some other shit.

― Jimmy Mod: GRILL ENSPEKTOR (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Jimmy teh Mod says her boobies aren't that good. xpost

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:44 (eighteen years ago) link

(The important word in my Jake post is "nondescript"; he's got this Affleck-esque quality of almost complete physical anonymity. For me, one hallmark of attractiveness is some distinctive physical trait; for Halle it's those amazing eyes/nose, for Salma it's that ridiculously curvy body, for Angela Basset it's those amazing cheekbones, etc etc etc. Jake Gyllenhaal's distinctive feature appears to be having a ladyface.)

― Dan (I Don't Get It) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

(n e wayz, my point was that dissing a dude for being too generic good-looking guy standard (which isn't true of Jake anyway!) is a bad position 4 u 2 be taking)

(I can't believe I'm bored enuff 2 b writing like this and laughing at it)

XPOSTS Angela Basset and Salma Hayek don't fall into the uncanny valley world of celebrities to me!!!!!!!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I guess I would take that criticism on the chin if I believed that there are legions of women out there who look just like Halle Berry.

― Dan (Now, Jennifer Aniston And Jennifer Garner...) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:48 (eighteen years ago) link

i disagree with the "anonymity" claim -- what makes him attractive for me is that he always looks like a bar mitzvah boy getting drunk for the first time.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow, Dan is wrong about everydamnthing.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Haha well that's me told.

― Dan (Chagrin!) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Dude, Jake has amazing huge doe-eyes.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

OK Jennifer Aniston is not generic looking at all. Incredibly unattractive in my opinion, but she doesn't look like she was created by a morphing program done up by some Stanford researcher trying to create the perfectly symmetrical face. WHICH IS CREEPY. UNCANNY VALLEY. ETC.

I think maybe we have different definitions of "generic looking"??

also yeah jbr is otm!!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan, name some of the MEN you find attractive and tell us why. maybe you just don't find men attractive really? Halle certainly looks hot to me but selma is completely *meh* (to me)and that's essentially because i just don't find women that enticing, on the whole. with jake it may not be so much that there's any one stand out thing but that the whole package comes together perfectly and that he seems pretty natural with it. speaking for myself, i think his eyes are mesmerising.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:54 (eighteen years ago) link

jennifer aniston isn't unattractive, but thanks to bradgate she's got this victimized hausfrau image that she'll never be able to shake.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

J.Aniston was a lot cuter (comparitively) when she started Friends and had mousey hair and some chub to her than she is now. Still wasn't cute to me but it wasn't trying too hard, you know?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

jen will never be cuter than she was in leprechaun.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

well really I'm not sure why she tried to top that movie anyway.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

maybe you just don't find men attractive really?

I freely admit that this is probably a gigantic factor in me Not Getting Jake.

The guys I think are handsome or attractive are guys I either think I look like or would really like to look like: Shemar Moore, Jesse L. Martin, Brad Pitt, Larenz Tate, Harrison Ford, Djimon Honsou... people like that.

― Dan (Not Some Doe-Eyed Anonyboy) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

ew brad pitt! the man looks like a walking venereal disease.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah he's kind of shower-free.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

― Dan (DREAMY) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:08 (eighteen years ago) link

dan you realize that in another 10 years brad pitt is going to be the spitting image of sammy hagar, right?

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

hahahahahahahaha

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

dan vs. GURLS

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:10 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah brad's the one i know on that list that i find unattractive. he looks like he's storing food in his cheeks.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:10 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG Don't google image search Shemar Moore at work.

― Dan (PUBES) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:12 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.ctv.ca/archives/CTVShows/img2/Programs/Extra/LO_Martin_240Tall.jpg

Jesse L. Martin

― Dan (Looks Like He Could Be My Cousin) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:13 (eighteen years ago) link

http://jewel.morgan.edu/~igillis/larenz.gif

Larenz Tate

― Dan (Easygoing Charm) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:15 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.eurweb.com/images/articles/200502/djimon_honsou(005-from-constantine-med).JPG

― Dan (BIG PIMPIN') Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:16 (eighteen years ago) link

So yeah, random white guy who looks like every other dude walking down the streets of Back Bay = nothing particularly special or distinctive, sorry ladies/gay men/bi men.

― Dan (So Saith Straight Black Man) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:17 (eighteen years ago) link

can i just say... it's so beyond cliche by now, but clooney REALLY IS THAT HOT.

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2003/SHOWBIZ/Movies/09/03/ple.clooney.reut/story.clooney.jpg

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Clooney is defintely hot. And so is Jake.

Dan can you give us a map to this Back Bay?

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:21 (eighteen years ago) link

my favorite "hunky actors" are old-school guys like donald sutherland, richard benjamin, dustin hoffman, bud cort circa brewster mccloud...

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan (Not Convincing Anyone) Perry

― elmo, holy helper (allocryptic), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:23 (eighteen years ago) link

oh yeah, and redford in the '70s too. (xpost)

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:24 (eighteen years ago) link

1. Fly to Logan Airport.
2. Take the airport bus to the Airport T-stop.
3. Take the train to Government Center. Switch from the blue line to the green line inbound.
4. Take any train to the Arlington stop.
5. Exit the subway.
6. Watch a legion of guys who look just like Jake Gyllenhaal power-walk from business meeting to bar.

― Dan (Easy Peasy) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:24 (eighteen years ago) link

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Jake Gyllenhaal - C or D?