ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

I guess at least Serena can claw one back for me today, though it's been a sad year when 99% of the enjoyment I've gleaned from women's tennis has been "player I dislike whomps player I dislike even more"

Yeah I was about to say, cancel this, everything's wrong. Serena, please destroy Azarenka. Li, er, please make the semis so I have someone I like in there?

WHATTTTTT

http://5minutes.rtl.lu/fr/actualite/luxembourg/335483.html

Claudine Schaul, who reached the top 50 and won Strasbourg (bagelling Davenport in the final) back in...2004, I think, has just got 20 months in jail for TRAFFICKING COCAINE :o :o :o

Lots of epic matches in this tournament, huh. Errani won a 14-minute game to hold for a 7-6, 5-4 lead...and then lost 12 straight points :o

Elsewhere, Stosur won five total points in the first set against Ma$ha. May she never come close to the YEC ever again.

ESPN.com was listing the score of that match as 6-0, 6-3 Stosur up until at least two hours ago

Can't believe I'm now rooting for Serena. Obviously I still heart Radwanska, but only Serena can prevent Azarenka winning. Also her beating down Sharapova in the final like 6-0 6-0 (oh yes, this could happen) would be HILARIOUS.

everyone should root for Serena, because she's amazing

HOT DOG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVr09t3ZzgA

Always enjoyable watching Maria indoors. Think she could take out Vika this time. Only issue is the mental block on the returns.

Li was so stupid against Azarenka yesterday.

Gotta think Azarenka will be tired after finishing late last night, but Azarenka's just handled Maria so easily off clay this year.

After that match that lasted 90 years last night A-Rad will be lucky to win games off Serena. I can't watch the SF or F this weekend and I'm not really sad.

Yessss. I mean, the final is a pointless formality, but for her career narrative wins over Azarenka are important. Should've won that US Open thing as well.

15498 spectators, a bit more than in Qatar if I remember correctly.

Haha just a bit more than in Qatar. Stupid of them to be moving after next year, Istanbul's been such a success.

http://www.perthnow.com.au/sport/tennis/tennis-star-bernard-tomic-under-police-investigation-after-a-surfers-paradise-brawl/story-fnddkxkr-1226505623777?sv=a7e4c039eb80e3c2fc1000698e6e7750#.UI51oOgqV-c.twitter

^^^aahahahahahahahahahaha @ everything

"IF only he fought so long and so hard on the court"

"He reminded police of "who he was" and accused them of running a hate campaign against him after his Australia Day run-in this year.

Police sources said Tomic appeared to be agitated."

wimbledon, 2 olympic golds, us open, yec, that'll do me just fine, thanks serena

how had I missed/forgotten about Tomic the Tank Engine

what the fuck is up with this off-court netting at the Paris Masters? did someone lose an eye last year?

I didn't notice anything weird when I was watching earlier, though given that it was Paire vs Nishikori there was already enough to occupy me (Paire got a warning for trashing his racquet in the toilet after the first set - the official who went with him told on him; the match concluded when Paire stopped mid-rally on MP to challenge a ball that was inside the baseline. SO MUCH IDIOCY)

Really like the colour of the court in the WTA's YEC-for-losers in Sofia. Pironkova/Zheng was an epic match too.

CoCo Vandeweghe ‏@CoCoVandey

“@gossipgirl: BREAKING NEWS: There will not b a new Gossip Girl episode 2night because of HurricaneSandy. Stay safe, my loves!" Um excuse me

lol

lulz Coco focus on what's really important

Meanwhile Tipsarevic has now retired from a match in:

- Every Slam
- The Olympics
- Davis Cup
- Four out of nine Masters events

5 more to go!

I have total faith that he can do it!

maybe he'll get to eight and then retire from tennis altogether

Ahahahahahahaha his official excuse for retiring six points from the match this time was "sudden fatigue"

"SUDDEN FATIGUE"!!!!!!!!! Can I use this excuse for like everything henceforth

there might be something to this Janowicz fellow

big server

Llodra gets a wildcard and now will be heading back into the top 50 (at least)

ugh, Llodracist revival :(

Maybe Ferrer can finally grab that elusive Masters title here.

That Paris SF line up is completely women's tennis, and I say that not to slight the players, just to point out that this is the sort of line-up you would expect to only see on the WTA.

Llodra has such a nice game, why does he have to be such a dick?

I actually put $5 on the Murray update. Bought myself a tablet with the winnings, so I won't complain too much.

Upset, rather.

Who's the lowest ranked player (not counting anyone who had been a high-ish player beforehand, if there any) to win a Masters series? Janowicz might soon be it.

Meanwhile, Petra if you lose to Jankovic we are through.

(obviously I won't be watching that because I want to watch Woz/Pironkova to see if there's any evidence that Woz has been hobbled to let hometown girl through to the finals to lose to Nadezhda, or if they'll get really brazen and hobble Petrova too)

Both these women are playing as if a bomb will go off if either hit a forehand more than five miles an hour.

Of course, Pironkova loses the first set on a DF. So I flick over and find Petra absolutely zoning. From 2-4 to 6-4 4-0. Jankovic's game is just so, so, so fugly and ineffective and Petra is doing some Quality Bashing.

Janowicz the first qualifier to make a Masters 1000 final since Pavel in 2003. His game is absolutely amazing to watch- a ton of drop shots, huge serves, flat groundstrokes. A breath of fresh air for sure.

Boom Ferrer

So glad he got his Masters title. Sure he backed into it but he's way better than some of the players who bagged MS titles in the pre-Big Four era.

Also thrilled that Nadezhda THRASHED Woz in the Sofia final.

Ferrer gets a bad rap for no reason. Sure, under most circumstances he would have no chance against the Big Four except v Murray on clay, but that's true for pretty much everyone outside the top 10 and he's a lot more consistent than Berdych and Tsonga.

Petrova winning was NID - Wozniacki played atrociously against Pironkova. That first set is one of THE worst sets of tennis I've seen this year.

Why is Tsonga such an idiot :(

More idiocy.

RT @melanie_oudin RT @Cali_Betchh (O)ne(B)ig(A)ss(M)istake(A)merica

smh

Vandeweghe is a die-hard Repub too, in news that will shock no one

MOre tennis players are probably conservative than you'd think. Oudin doesn't surprise me at all. I mean, I'd be surprised if the Williamses voted Romney even if they are 5000 times more self-made than Oudin could ever claim to be (BELIEVE!).

(Yes, I have a list in my mind of who is a tory in the WTA but I won't dare.)

Does make it even easier to laugh at Oudin's tennis misadventures.

Yeah didn't John Isner say on twitter he read Decision Points? smh

Isner can read?

The Williamses have said they don't vote b/c they're Jehovah's Witnesses.

Does make it even easier to laugh at Oudin's tennis misadventures.

Binders full of 1R losses :D

Davenport was raised Republican but has definitely drifted left (or liberal at least) over the years, in '08 she voted for Obama. Navratilova of course spends 90% of her time on Twitter RTing leftwing newspaper articles. Petkovic says she wants to found a left-wing, youth-orientated party in Germany when she retires. I love her.

And a zing from a rising US junior on Facebook:

Sachia 'Minaj' Vickery
Just letting everyone know that if Romney wins this election I will tweet and Facebook you when I'm picking corn from the cornfields, and chopping wood in Africa..... :))))

As for the British players, iirc Keothavong and Murray both vote Labour.

Oh yeah the tournament happening this week, the Murray/Djokovic match yesterday was really great! Murray played as well as I've ever seen him play for 1.5 sets, then on the first BP he faced made the spectacularly ill-advised decision to S&V for the first time, and then collapsed after that. Would have been somewhat shameful except his near-comeback in the third set was really good.

Problem with Petkovic is she'll hire a lot of lame guitar bands for her political rallies.

Or dubstep acts. Petko loves drops.