If your coworker is dyslexic, i would stay way from #28.
― Van Horn Street, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:10 (eleven years ago) link
32. At no time touch the other person's genitals, or encourage them to touch your own
― d-_-b (mh), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:14 (eleven years ago) link
33. surgical genital extraction upon being hired
― charlie the luna (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:16 (eleven years ago) link
34. saltpeter in the coffee
― d-_-b (mh), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:21 (eleven years ago) link
35. total rejection of all human emotion
― charlie the luna (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:23 (eleven years ago) link
34. Add cyproterone acetate or benperidol to the water cooler.
― 圧迫系プレイ (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:23 (eleven years ago) link
Sorry bout the ignored XP. I think the benperidol would solve a lot of office drama, btw.
― 圧迫系プレイ (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:26 (eleven years ago) link
35. Take your shoe off and go, "Jesus, this damn bunion!"
― the ones that I'm near most: fellow outcasts and ilxors (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:29 (eleven years ago) link
36. Clamato
― 5-Hour Enmity (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:36 (eleven years ago) link
^^ otm
― charlie the luna (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 19:38 (eleven years ago) link
37 Get your shinebox
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 20:11 (eleven years ago) link
38. Choose Cheez-Its over oysters for a vending-machine snack.
― pretty even gender split (Eazy), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 20:18 (eleven years ago) link
That dude's dong cozy is amazing.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 20:39 (eleven years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Thursday, 8 November 2012 00:01 (eleven years ago) link
3. definitely. in my old place of work we called “special friends" 'lunchtime lovers'.. destined for romance..
― mmmm, Thursday, 8 November 2012 01:00 (eleven years ago) link
You worked with Kenny Rogers?
― Mark G, Thursday, 8 November 2012 09:38 (eleven years ago) link
don't stick your dick in these holes
― Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 8 November 2012 16:50 (eleven years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Friday, 9 November 2012 00:01 (eleven years ago) link
39. Seal off your mail slot with beeswax.
― collardio gelatinous, Friday, 9 November 2012 05:10 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah is this advice meant for taken/marrieds? because WTF, surely the advice is just DONT HAVE AN AFFAIR AT ALL WTF U DIK.
Single workmates? Play on, I say. I have. Not saying it always ends well, but eh.
― Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Friday, 9 November 2012 05:34 (eleven years ago) link
40. Never look at people when you talk to them. Look at your computer screen or your phone instead.
― weak willie (longneck), Friday, 9 November 2012 09:22 (eleven years ago) link
^always worked for me
― electricsound, Friday, 9 November 2012 09:23 (eleven years ago) link
41. do not suppress flatulence
― how's life, Friday, 9 November 2012 10:07 (eleven years ago) link
42. Add libido-suppressing drugs to the office water-cooler.
― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 9 November 2012 10:15 (eleven years ago) link
0. Don't sleep with anyone who works in your office, for fuck's sake.
― Yorkshire lass born and bred, that's me, said Katriona's hologram. (thomp), Friday, 9 November 2012 13:56 (eleven years ago) link
43. work from home. every bloody day. by yourself. staring out the window. trying not to procrastinate. hoping for a better life.
― thomasintrouble, Friday, 9 November 2012 14:02 (eleven years ago) link
^^^ rejected lyrics for Radiohead's 'Fitter Happier'
― Huey Lewisies & The Newsie-Wewsies (snoball), Friday, 9 November 2012 15:09 (eleven years ago) link
44. "I'm trying to go for a Paul Ryan widow's peak thing here with my hair"
― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 9 November 2012 15:13 (eleven years ago) link
45. "did i ever tell you about the suit of human skin i've been working on?"
― idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 9 November 2012 15:19 (eleven years ago) link
46. Horribly mutilate your genitals.
― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 9 November 2012 15:26 (eleven years ago) link
47. Horribly mutilate the genitals of your co-workers.
48. "Do you like this hat that I made out of a hobo's scrotum?"
― Huey Lewisies & The Newsie-Wewsies (snoball), Friday, 9 November 2012 15:27 (eleven years ago) link
49a "It was a real challenge to stretch and tan it."
― Huey Lewisies & The Newsie-Wewsies (snoball), Friday, 9 November 2012 15:28 (eleven years ago) link
(sorry that should have been 48a)
49. Group e-mail everyone in the office with a link to this thread and 'lol' as the subject.
50. Work in IT.
― mark e, Friday, 9 November 2012 16:02 (eleven years ago) link
51. pull someone aside so far that you've both exited the building then run back inside before they do and lock them out to avoid temptation
― GAY HIPSTER BATMAN ON HIS WAY TO A CIRCUIT PARTY (donna rouge), Friday, 9 November 2012 16:09 (eleven years ago) link
52. Have an orange on your desk that's gone completely brown and dry.
― more side eye than a Picasso (snoball), Monday, 31 August 2015 17:10 (eight years ago) link
53. Make sure all other employees at your workplace are of a gender or species in which you have no sexual interest.
― the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Monday, 31 August 2015 17:28 (eight years ago) link
54. modify your workspace to include a standing desk and a giant bucket full of cement that will cover you from the waist down
― 1995 ball boy (Karl Malone), Monday, 31 August 2015 17:31 (eight years ago) link
55. Divorce your spouse.56. Stop working.
― Herbie Mann's Push Push Pops (Old Lunch), Monday, 31 August 2015 17:34 (eight years ago) link
Several of the OP tips are good advice. #6 just seems creepy.
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 31 August 2015 17:50 (eight years ago) link
I'm guessing the intention of #6 was that by knowing their family, you'd fully realize the gravity of initiating an affair with them.
― Aimless, Monday, 31 August 2015 17:56 (eight years ago) link
But seeing as how you presumably already know your SO's family and that apparently isn't enough of a deterrent, I'm skeptical of its efficacy.
― Herbie Mann's Push Push Pops (Old Lunch), Monday, 31 August 2015 18:01 (eight years ago) link
leak a fake email alleging you had gay sex with a prostitute in an attempt to conceal the affair
― mookieproof, Monday, 31 August 2015 18:09 (eight years ago) link
I have a mental exercise I do sometimes if the thought crosses my mind where I picture myself in a movie about an embarrassing affair. I'm always played by an aging Kevin Kline in this movie.
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 31 August 2015 18:11 (eight years ago) link
lol mookie
this one seems relevant to a conversation I had a while ago where someone claimed it is difficult to remove things from your list of skills on linkedin if you have "endorsements":
uncheck "casual sex" on your linkedin
― goole, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 11:57 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― μpright mammal (mh), Monday, 31 August 2015 18:51 (eight years ago) link
is it really a skill if it's casual
― Οὖτις, Monday, 31 August 2015 18:52 (eight years ago) link
the skill is in keeping in that way
― μpright mammal (mh), Monday, 31 August 2015 18:53 (eight years ago) link
filthy casual
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 31 August 2015 19:00 (eight years ago) link
I did all of those things, and still nowt. (when I was single, OK?)― Mark G, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 4:54 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Mark G, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 4:54 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
The good thing about not being famous is never needing to write your autobiography.
― Mark G, Tuesday, 1 September 2015 09:28 (eight years ago) link