Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

I am a pen-chewer but I would never foist my teething pens on others.

I don't think this was foisted so much as left behind. I have no idea how long this office was vacant before I came along so these could be ancient artifacts of oral fixation.

yeah but still, pen chewers should have enough shame to discard the evidence of their oral fixations

imo

can't take electro-swing and dubstep anymore.

Someone please record an album called ancient artifacts of oral fixation.

Has anyone else noticed that jock types chew on shit like pen caps and straws? Or am I just imagining that? I definitely recall jocks in high school and college with whole straws or pen caps in their mouths. Repulsive, yet charming/hot b/c they're like dumb puppies.

most chewers i know are girls.

I'll have you know that I am a LADY goddammit

So much more not my jobitis going around.. I could've run a few of my 'old job' reports in the time it's taken this week to discuss how to do the bare minimum of the reports because there isn't enough time 0_o I offered to take them home and do them on my downtime if they'd cut me a cheque ;)

I hate it when condescension and rudeness are juuuuust low-level enough that I can't respond.

ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH argh

do you mind? i'm trying to work here.

I've been here barely half an hour and Kathy Griffin Voice has already burst into laughter followed by a sighing "ohhhhh that's funny" at least twenty times.

Extra annoying because it's in response to whatever she's listening to on her headphones.

I used to chew pens. Disgusting, I know, but as I am not a repressed WASP Protestant type I didn't find it "shameful". Probably nerves or something. I worked in a very stressful place.

I got some education and class and grew out of it. So glad I work in a less annoying environment and basically edit high class stuff like English literature.

She just said "There ya' goHAHAHAHA...thatttt's funny"

captain awesome in response to eating a cookie someone gave him: "wow, this is so awesome! like the best I've ever had! so good, oh my god. yum yum! thank you so much!!! it was so delicious!" it sounded very fake, like if she had given him a cookie soaked in vinegar he'd have said the same thing. seems like an alright dude, but that shit irritates me. i do not get why people like that stuff -- are they dumb or something?

He's lonely! Plus what pplains said about the crying and the gun-holding. I don't know, people like that are very annoying but also kinda sad.

fair enough if that's the case, i guess it'd be like if gil from the simpsons found a place where he could sell his shit. whenever he lets all that hot air out it's like a toxic gas cloud gathering around my soul. nicotine withdrawal prob isn't helping.

ah this dude isn't so bad, he's good to goof around with. i told him i was going to call him "awesome (name)" and it ended up in a tim and eric reference that he caught.

How many times will my boss get frustrated b/c she doesn't get that a PDF, though it contains words and looks just like a Word document, does not work like a Word document, and making an exact facsimile of it in Word is not accomplished with a single keystroke? We've been through this - OCR is quick, but formatting and correcting misreads takes time.

She wants to redline a 12 page contract that is full of fussy formatted lists, which contract we received only in hard copy, so she asked me to make it a Word document. There is no reason we would not ask the opposing attorney for a copy of the contract in Word, but my boss said, "Why go through the trouble of asking her for it in Word and waiting for it when you can just use Adobe [sigh] to turn it into Word?"

Every time it's the same: I tell her what makes the process time-consuming (and tedious) and she complains about "Adobe" turning out a pretty piddly product if it can't even make a simple document edit-able.

horrible job, I've been in a situation of having to strip formatting from a PDF to turn it into a "plain" Word doc, it takes bloody ages.

get away from that thermostat

get away from it

get awaaaaaay

get

*gives up talking, bounds from chair and chases this sleeveless moron around the place on all fours*

imma start leaving fuckin MOUSETRAPS scattered round the fuckin thing

27 degrees celsius you fuckin animal, do you not get how this works, this 'dressing like an adult, going to work in an office with adults' gig, until you sign a note confirming you understand the difference between 'beach in barbados in july' and 'dublin 7 in november' you don't get to do shit about the temperature in the office

you fuckin clownish clown

darragh plz chase him on all fours

and i am sitting here wearing my winter coat at my desk.

Our gas bills are astronomical so buying a couple of space heaters is mandatory.

I gave up on central heating a million years ago.

Reading out your emails to the open plan office at high volume in a sarcastic tone of voice is not a good way to start the week.

Why does my boss not do things/ask me not to do things that cost nothing, take no time, could only be good, and would hurt nothing and no one?? E.g.: She receives an email w/ bunch a of documents that may or may not be relevant to a certain case. If I ask her if she's saved them, she says, No, I don't know if we'll need them. It's not like we're short on disk space! Just save them in the special folder called Unsorted Documents! Why would you NOT DO THAT?

If she were anyone else, I'd say she was asserting her authority by shooting down my suggestions, but that's absolutely not her way, so idk.

Another e.g. - My other boss wanted me and our associate atty. to become notaries. The cost was virtually nothing and the application takes 5 minutes, and bam! your notary commission is on its way. But she decided that it wasn't important that we be notaries b/c, "Electronic verification is taking over, so notarizing is going to be a thing of the past, soon." Well, it's a good thing we dodged that bullet of having notary power that might one day become obsolete.

wrt the first thing, I get annoyed at coworkers that save everything, to the effect that they have so much stuff on their PC that they can't find the things that were worth saving.

i save everything but I am EXCELLENT at filing, so I have nice clear categories for p much everything.

but I also worked for a customer that was notorious for dragging up issues from years previous, and trying to catch us out on stuff that they had screwed up themselves.

the joy of being a person who saves everything AND can find said saved materials is responding to those kinds of queries with a 'see attached email from 2005 which contradicts everything you just said. have a nice day, love VG.'

i love doing that so much, I can't even tell you

BOOM

READ IT AND WEEP SUCKA

<drops mouse>

I'm talking about documents that have a decent chance of being relevant - case file materials! I mean, what bugged me today was that she needed a motion in a case we came in on as co-counsel for a particular purpose. She had received it in an email with other pleadings, but she didn't save any of them because she didn't know if they would be relevant to our work. There were maybe 10 PDFs, 50-some pages, maybe - what did she think would happen if she saved them and then we didn't need them?

Anyway, I like her, and she is overall a good employer, but working in this tiny firm is like spending 40 hours a week with your family.

To bitch about someone I really do NOT like: Former opposing counsel was a skeeeeezy hack who, we found out, tried to file a court order. A party can't ~file~ a court order - you have to petition the court for whatever you want, and the judge can decide to enter an order. But this guy hand-wrote a 3 page order with decisions on some child custody issues, file-stamped it at the self-serve desk, and tried to pass it off as a court order. Who thinks they can get away with this?? It was as hilarious as it was infuriating.

the joy of being a person who saves everything AND can find said saved materials is responding to those kinds of queries with a 'see attached email from 2005 which contradicts everything you just said. have a nice day, love VG.'

MMEEE TOOOO. In fact Ive even done this to bosses, ohhh boy they hate being showed up as wrong. "WHY WASNT I TOLD ABOUT THIS" "oh but you were, dEar sir, here BAM"

the

BEST

Well its the best unless its my current ass of a boss, who even when presented with evidence, just lies to yr face/tells you yr wrong/tells you to shut up and do what he asked.

Then repeatedly re-asks for the same things we already did for him.

/kif sigh

Say it's lunchtime and you're waiting for the food I'd already put into the microwave to finish while I'm currently in my cubicle. And when it does, do you wait for me to come from my cubicle to the break room -- literally 20 steps away -- or do you take my food out yourself? And when I come running in saying, "Please don't touch that" (I'm a germophobe), do you stare me down darkly, and say, "YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE PEOPLE MAD"?

Keep in mind, when you use the restroom, you don't wash your hands.

i would just eat yr food with my hands :D

I want a new mutual adoptee.

;_;

How long was the microwave set for? How much work could you get done while lunch was heating? Walking away from your microwaving food and relying on someone to come get you has always been NAGL in every place I've worked, but the main one of those was a warehouse with a lot of employees, most of whom only had a 30-minute lunch break. And your phobias are not your co-workers' problem.

85 seconds. Seriously, it would've taken me less than 10 seconds to hear the microwave beep (it's within hearing range, obviously) and to walk over.

I think it's not cool to take it out without waiting 30 seconds first, but going back to your desk if it needs less than 2 minutes seems odd to me too

but then both feelings come from having the luxury of being in a job and a country where it's generally ok to take time for lunch, so I guess this doesn't necessarily translate (and my sympathies to anyone who does not get that luxury)

Why does this professional psychologist not have the ability to open Word files? Or Word Perfect or Open Office?? Instead of editing her own affidavits, she prints the PDFs we send her, hand writes edits, and scans and emails them back to us. This is not reasonable!

And why am I reading my work email on Saturday.