when i walked in she was sitting down. she stood up to shake my hand but fell back down when our hands met.
"wooooooooo! ooops!"
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:44 (eleven years ago) link
^^^all-time great opening line for a short story right there
― xanthanguar (cwkiii), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:50 (eleven years ago) link
"i love editing! i make sure that everything is grammatic!"
http://www.sptimes.com/2003/12/09/images/large/C_1_gramatica_174762_1209.jpg
― pplains, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:50 (eleven years ago) link
xpost lolol
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:50 (eleven years ago) link
wish i could remember what else she said. for 30 minutes straight, she just said ridiculous things.
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:53 (eleven years ago) link
one strange thing was that she was originally scheduled to interview yesterday and requested that it be rescheduled - because she accepted a job elsewhere in our Agency and yesterday was her first day! (?!?!?!?)
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:54 (eleven years ago) link
omg
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:54 (eleven years ago) link
maybe she was like well i just accepted this other job, so i might as well go to the interview and be weird because fuck it yolo
― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:56 (eleven years ago) link
ha
― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:56 (eleven years ago) link
yeah, i mean i sorta get the reasoning, maybe she wanted to accept the other one just to make sure she had it, but was more excited about this one or something. it might fly in the private sector or something, but when you all work as part of the same organization it would be kind of weird. like, i can't imagine if we hired someone and then two days later found out that another part of the Agency had hired her away!
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:59 (eleven years ago) link
btw as i was typing that my boss came up and as i'm talking to her i realize the words "Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers" are behind my head
uhhh...i'm talking about my cow..workers...it's a WoW thing...uh
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:00 (eleven years ago) link
that's an awesome reverse of a lol-facepalm incident I witnessed
years ago in my old publishing job, my airheaded coworker and I were riding home on the train together. She says quietly, 'I had to give my notice today.' She'd been looking for another job, so I asked her if she had found a job. And she says tearfully, "No! That's what's so confusing! I just went into Jane (our boss), and I said can I have Friday off, because I have a job interview.'
facepalm
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:02 (eleven years ago) link
hahahaha
― Jesus, the Total Douchebag (DJP), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:27 (eleven years ago) link
it would be difficult to keep the palm from connecting to the face at that moment
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:32 (eleven years ago) link
it was beautiful. AND I had to explain to her, in great detail, exactly why this was the stupidest thing in the world to announce to your boss.
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:33 (eleven years ago) link
That's great -- did the light bulb ever go off over her head?
― WilliamC, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:34 (eleven years ago) link
Once I laid out the math for her. Then her eyes got all big and she put her hand over her mouth and was like 'Ohhhhh!'
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:35 (eleven years ago) link
xpost
sounds like she put the masking tape over the figurative light switch a long, long time ago
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:40 (eleven years ago) link
Final footnote to airheaded coworker:
She used to crack me up because always nod at you wide-eyed like a puppy when you were giving instructions and you just knew that nothing was sinking in. And she'd say yes she understood and tell you she'd get right on it and it would almost always be a mess. Her working life was pretty tough, so it was no wonder that she was looking elsewhere.
So the piece de resistance to this whole thing was toward the end of that same train ride, after the whole she's lost her job revelation went down, she told me in passing that she has always had trouble with verbal instructions. She said just can't seem to understand things when they're spoken half as well as when they're written down, she wasn't sure if it was a learning disability but it made things really hard.
...
why didn't you TELL ANYONE?
double facepalm.
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:42 (eleven years ago) link
Oh, well that part I can understand a little more. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but I'm sure some people might be a little embarrassed about it and maybe hesitate to bring it up.
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:45 (eleven years ago) link
yeah but if it's literally the key to your work life being awful vs bearable, it makes all the difference
people are much more understanding if it helps them AND you and gets shit done
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 19:49 (eleven years ago) link
She said just can't seem to understand things when they're spoken half as well as when they're written down...
Or wrote a note to somebody.
― pplains, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 22:10 (eleven years ago) link
eh, aren't you guys forgetting that she couldn't have read your precious written instructions when her lightbulb didn't work?
― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 00:47 (eleven years ago) link
"Hey Erica,
Is that your large print job at Printer 3? Do you mind printing jobs that size in the copy room? Thanks much, I'm pretty noise sensitive."
Everything about this email is pissing me off. Maybe irrationally so but c'mon we don't work in a library and also SHE IS WEARING HEADPHONES AND LISTENING TO MUSIC IT'S NOT THAT LOUD.
― go to party leather (ENBB), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:40 (eleven years ago) link
she EMAILED that to you?
― an eagle named "small government" (call all destroyer), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:42 (eleven years ago) link
YES
She sits like two feet away from me too.
― go to party leather (ENBB), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:43 (eleven years ago) link
definitely file under "if you would feel ridiculous requesting this to someone's face, don't send an email about it"
― an eagle named "small government" (call all destroyer), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:50 (eleven years ago) link
I would start sending emails after every print job saying "omg I'm so sorry I forgot! I should write this down lol"
― GIMME SOME REGGAE (DJP), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:52 (eleven years ago) link
Also people are giving out holiday stuff and one of the men I work with just gave me a bag of granola. I know we do health research and stuff and I like granola as much as the next person but that's just sorta weird?
― go to party leather (ENBB), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:53 (eleven years ago) link
djp otm
― go to party leather (ENBB), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:54 (eleven years ago) link
you should send back an embedded autoplay youtube of like gangam style or skrillex and just annoy her further
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:54 (eleven years ago) link
lol bag of granola
some people are so practical/bland as to kill the spirit of the festive season imo
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:55 (eleven years ago) link
super-positive Mr Nice Guy manager has all these behaviours he learned from business self-help books - the worst of which is TOUCHING MY FUCKING ARM WHENEVER HE TALKS TO ME.
if you touch me again i will kill you
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:58 (eleven years ago) link
maybe he likes u
― Spectrum, Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:04 (eleven years ago) link
http://teamfrancis.emrydesign.com/francis.jpg
― Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:05 (eleven years ago) link
I've heard through another co-worker that he's terrified of me lol. So I think this is him trying to win me over.
Pro tip: don't. fucking. touch. me. and we'll be golden.
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:20 (eleven years ago) link
lol phil
Does he also say your name a lot for no apparent reason, other than he's talking to you? Ooooh, look at Mr Dominant Manager, tryna dominate!
― rihanna, will you ever win? (suzy), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:24 (eleven years ago) link
yes
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:24 (eleven years ago) link
I'm sure if he shook hands with me he would clasp mine within both his hands
He's THAT guy
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:25 (eleven years ago) link
just a PUA manager, workin on a little kino
― fueled by satanism, violence, and sodomy (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:26 (eleven years ago) link
i hate u elmo
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:27 (eleven years ago) link
He's been on a course and he's trying to pass himself off as an alpha. BURN HIM.
― rihanna, will you ever win? (suzy), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:28 (eleven years ago) link
he's been that guy for a good 10 years
the only pleasure I can take is him not knowing that I know and continue to remain a cypher to him
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link
eventually he'll short-circuit
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:30 (eleven years ago) link
ENBB, ignore it and if she asks you about it, act shocked and tell her you'll check your spam for her important mail. GRRRR hate people trying to assert control of their surroundings when it's also everyone else's surroundings, and they really have no business telling you what to do in that setting.
― rihanna, will you ever win? (suzy), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:34 (eleven years ago) link
My office is undergoing major renovations. For the past months, there's been plastic on the floor, unplugged refridgerators, weird dudes walking around and general disorder.
Remember that scene in 2001 when the monkeys woke up at dawn to find the monolith outside their cave? This is what we were met with when we came in on Monday.
http://i.imgur.com/p0MA3.jpg
That wasn't there before.
On the other side of that plywood box, their drilling holes scooting big heavy objects around on the floor, talking politics and using something that must be a forklift that goes beeeeeep-beeeeep-beeeeeep every few minutes.
It's starting to get to me.
Since we're all playing musical chairs after the Christmas break, the office held a contest with the winners in five categories getting $100 a piece. My group was spotless, I tell you this as truth. But some of the categories we weren't even in the running, like "Best Before Cleanup" and "Most Improved".
My boss handed hundred-dollar bills out like candy. Must've been 25-30 individuals overall.
When it came my group's turn, she gave us a consolation prized and handed us boxes of candy like they were hundred-dollar bills.
God, I try not to be a jealous person. I revel in the successes of others. But my ass was fucking burned on this deal. Especially the most-improved guys - their desks were still stacked with crap while ours were clean and sparse.
I told them that I was going to take a big shit on my desk and just leave it there for the next 11 months. That way, I'll be a shoo-in for "most improved".
They say I'm going to get a window office after all is said and done. That sad little fact is my carrot right now.
― pplains, Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:39 (eleven years ago) link
Habit 1: Be Proactive Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind Habit 3: Put First Things First Habit 4: Think Win-Win Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Habit 6: Synergize Habit 7: Touch Their Arms
― xanthanguar (cwkiii), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:39 (eleven years ago) link
Habit 8: Be Killed By VG
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:43 (eleven years ago) link