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Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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Woot!

And God I hate that. It's like saying 'oh and make sure the sun sets tonight, will you? I can't STAND it when it doesn't and I Am Very Important you know.'

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Dear Guy Over There On Other Side Of Room:

1) Please turn volume of ring tone down by at least three bars

2) Please change ringtune from Bodyrockers to something more enjoyable and cool e.g. pneumatic drill

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:09 (eighteen years ago) link

I like my co workers, although there is this weird guy upstairs called Stevie who keeps talking to me and stuff.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:14 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG I just read that as "world revolves around my neds"

I thought it was "world revolves around my nads."

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Dear Chef, please follow Stevem's advice PRECISELY Kthnxbye

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:32 (eighteen years ago) link

please be aware that design documents that take you 5 minutes to change may require more than a day to re-implement. and raising 3 bugs an hour for things that are now wrong depsite being exactly how you wanted them to be last week, well, just don't be surprised when things aren't ready for two weeks time, ok?

and stop tapping your feet, the suspended floor means it's making my whole world shake. kthxbye.

― koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:44 (eighteen years ago) link

the woman who sits behind me, back to back with me, is the ed. of the fitness section at the paper here. she runs everywhere. in the office, i mean. she doesn't get up and walk anywhere. she leaps up and bursts. it's disconcerting, but i didn't really get bothered by her until she got rid of her normal office chair and replaced it with...
http://www.sissel-online.com/images/products/75cm%20Swiss%20Ball%20Pro.JPG
it's ridiculous. she's constantly adjusting her position on it and squirming around or sitting on it in weird squeaky ways. and every single time she leaps up to dash somewhere, this fucking ball rolls over and bumps into the back of my chair. every time. 30 times a day. month after month. i'm easily annoyed, i admit, but this sucks. i really want to put a pin hole in it so it will deflate slowly over time. i've also considered leaping up out of my chair 30 times a day and pushing it as i run off so that my chair bumps into her. over and over. i'll never do this, of course.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Ahahaha. God. Surely having large spherical objects loose in the office could constitute a H&S hazard? Report her.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:17 (eighteen years ago) link

the moment i hit submit on that, she leapt up, her ball hit me, and she went "ack! it's always after you, andrew." ugh.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Does she work on a computer sitting on that thing? I mean, that can't be good. I'm stunned.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:24 (eighteen years ago) link

maybe it's supposed to strengthen abdomial muscles or improve posture or something. i dunno. normal office chairs have served manking for thousands of years! it's good enough for the rest of us. i want to pop your swiss health ball so badly!

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:29 (eighteen years ago) link

manking=mankind

manking sounds kinda cool though.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:31 (eighteen years ago) link

That reminds me of the great mystery that is mankind. Break it down: "mank" and "ind" .. gets us no closer to undderstanding what it means. Yes mankind is truly mysterious.

(paraphrased, obv)

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:33 (eighteen years ago) link

good god, someone who sits on a swiss ball? we too have a fitness fanatic here, who insists in wandering around the office in her running gear (not a pretty sight), but that takes the biscuit. wow.

puncture it. go on. do it.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:34 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah, really, do. Or just lay a little minefield of drawing pins behind your chair so that next time it approaches you - 'whoops! oh well, occupational hazard of NORMAL OFFICE LIFE now get one chair you freak.'

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:37 (eighteen years ago) link

you need to kill her, andrew. or pop her ball.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:43 (eighteen years ago) link

andrew m you just don't get it do you

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:46 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.space.com/images/rotundus-rover.jpg

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:49 (eighteen years ago) link

and every single time she leaps up to dash somewhere, this fucking ball rolls over and bumps into the back of my chair. every time. 30 times a day. month after month

30 times a day, month after month

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:53 (eighteen years ago) link

yet still don't get it

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:53 (eighteen years ago) link

her ball hit me, and she went "ack! it's always after you, andrew." ugh.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:53 (eighteen years ago) link

SHE

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Pop the ball, Andrew.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link

WANTS

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link

YOUR

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link

BODY!!!!!!!!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link

pop her cherry, andrew!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link

there will be blood on the Sissel Original Swiss Ball Pro® tonight.

wait. that took a weird turn. one i'm not willing or ready to address right now.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:56 (eighteen years ago) link

haha best xpost ever

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:57 (eighteen years ago) link

I like my co workers, although there is this weird guy upstairs called Stevie who keeps talking to me and stuff.

i'd just like to clarify that this isn't me. i *am a weird guy called stevie, but i don't work above anyone!

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Gosh, andrew. I hope you don't accidentally drop a box of thumbtacks on the floor behind you.

ya know, because they'll really hurt when they stick in her back.

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 16:01 (eighteen years ago) link

that other stevie is an ilxor i think, stevie

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 16:01 (eighteen years ago) link

If I didn't know you already, andrew, I would have thought that you work at Google:

http://www.ruggedelegantliving.com/a/images/google.balls.jpg

My annoying co-workers? Well...

You miss the “I feel you pain” President? Why am I not surprised? Eight times in his eight years Americans were attacked by al-Qaida, over a thousand lives lost, and he did not ONE thing in response. Their blood is on his hands and YOUR hands. His administration had concrete evidence of pre-911 al-Qaida plans and his administration BLOCKED the Military and the Intel Agencies, and Police Depts from exchanging information. The 3,000 lives lost are on his head and YOURS.
...I'm not crazy about 'em.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 16:17 (eighteen years ago) link

The woman across from me keeps bursting into tears as we’re moving buildings and she’ll have to get a bus and a tram.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:48 (eighteen years ago) link

me: *reads ILX for an hour*
little person: "are you cleaning up the computer?" [note: this is her term for defragging]
me: "yes"
little person: "i thought so with all that gibberish on the screen"

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:56 (eighteen years ago) link

little person?

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:57 (eighteen years ago) link

She works for Willy Wonka.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Coworker: Do we have yesterday's Guardian?
Me: Yes, it'll be in the newspaper rack.
Coworker: ...
Me: [points] The metal one... on the wall there.
Coworker: [now standing at rack but not doing anything] But... where IS it?

(Throughout this discussion I am in the middle of serving a student or trying to.)

My brain: [shotuing] Jesus woman, is flicking through a couple of newspapers to find the right one really beneath/beyond you?
Me: ...

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:07 (eighteen years ago) link

An employee got a reprimanding email from my mum/boss. As I can read all the emails, I could see the entire email. It was angry but not over the top.

She sniffled the rest of the day.

I rrrrreally didn't know what to do.

Awkward silence for the rest of the day.

― nathalie's pocket revolution (stevie nixed), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:13 (eighteen years ago) link

My little person coworker NEVER TIPS PEOPLE, and she orders lunch every day. How she can sleep at night is beyond my understanding. She even quibbles if they don't give her her idiotic QUARTER back as change. Anyway, so just now she gets food delivered and of course doesn't tip. However, she does give the delivery guy a round of applause and a condescending "good boy" for being 15 minutes early. I would have dumped a side salad on her demented, ill-proportioned head.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 8 September 2005 15:41 (eighteen years ago) link

let the lip-smacking commence

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 8 September 2005 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link

have just had an email with two attachements, two excel spreadsheets. one had phone numbers, phone make and model number. the other had phone numbers, the same numbers, and associated urls. there were 3 of them in total. three lots of 4 columns spread over 2 excel spreadsheets and sent as attachments. how is this easier than just pasting the information as text into the body of the message? oh, and because the phone numbers were quite long it showed them in engineering format: 4.47999E+8.

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Memo with details of new university branding and house style sent round everyone who works here. We are to use Arial 12pt for everything. Sixty minutes later, Office Manager sends out the agenda for tomorrow's staff meeting. In Comic 14pt bold.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 9 September 2005 08:36 (eighteen years ago) link

There is nothing worse than being monumentally frustrated and shitty with the person you sit next to and are on the same shift as at work... when that person also happens to be yr best friend outside of work.

Combine anger and guilt over being angry, and it makes me feel really crap.

I thnk I'll talk to my b/f about whether I/we can afford for me to quit.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 9 September 2005 08:38 (eighteen years ago) link

not annoying, slightly stupid ... and hysterically funny. a respected friend and colleague has forgotten his trousers.

yes, seriously. he cycled in wearing a pair of comedy shorts, intending to change into a pair of decent keks when he got to work. unfortunately, he omitted to put said keks in his bag. so he's now sitting at his mac looking a bit miserable, while everybody points and laughs at his knees. to make matters worse, he sits right by an enormous window.

despite the fact it is pissing down with rain, he's going to stick it out for the whole day. rather than doing what i'd have done, which is rushing to the nearest gentleman's outfitter and getting a big pair of slacks pronto.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 9 September 2005 10:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Man, that’s like a bad dream.
Maybe he’ll wake up in a minute and get ready for work and pay special attention to remembering his troosers.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 9 September 2005 10:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Dear god Madchen, that's fantastic! And awful, obv. My co-workers are really nice, though one almost to the point of being annoying. Relentlessly cheerful and overly polite but she's lovely really.

― Crackity (Crackity Jones), Friday, 9 September 2005 10:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Man, that’s like a bad dream.

that's what i said to him. but no, he hasn't woken up. instead he's just been sitting in the executive editor's office having an important meeting about the next few months' work. hhaaa!

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 9 September 2005 13:25 (eighteen years ago) link

ha ha ha.
i so wish i was there.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 9 September 2005 13:30 (eighteen years ago) link

He's a hero. I'm very impressed that he would tough it out. Just like that Bridget Jones girl.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 9 September 2005 13:30 (eighteen years ago) link

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