Q: Which Wu-Tang member is the greatest actor?A: Method Man.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Monday, 11 February 2013 12:48 (eleven years ago) link
"Hey Corey, I'm gonna go to that yoga class, wanna come?""Nah, I'm-a stay."
― flamboyant goon tie included, Tuesday, 12 February 2013 23:33 (eleven years ago) link
I approve of that joke
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 23:46 (eleven years ago) link
I hope you remember it at your next group shavasana
― flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, 13 February 2013 03:09 (eleven years ago) link
I got into a terrible fight with my girlfriend. She was so angry at me that she ripped my sweater all the way down the front. But you know what, I don't mind, because love, love will tear us a cardigan.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Friday, 22 February 2013 21:20 (eleven years ago) link
That was great.
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, 22 February 2013 23:23 (eleven years ago) link
What did Captain Keef say when he saw the SS Bounty off the starboard bow?
"That's that ship I don't like"
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Friday, 1 March 2013 04:36 (eleven years ago) link
What did the wookie order at the mexican restaurant?A buRRRRRRRRito! (said by making a wookie sound instead of rolling your r's)
― Fetchboy, Friday, 1 March 2013 05:36 (eleven years ago) link
A shepherd and his flock have been walking for miles in search of a brook to drink from. Suddenly one of the sheep, Larry, looks up and says to the shepherd "Hey wait a minute, the sun is setting over there. We've been walking west! I thought I told you it was to the east." The shepherd replies "Oh I'm sorry, I misherd you."
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 12 March 2013 19:12 (eleven years ago) link
A shepherd and his flock have been walking for miles in search of a brook to drink from. Suddenly one of the sheep, Laura, looks up and says to the shepherd "Hey wait a minute, the sun is setting over there. We've been walking west! I thought I told you it was to the east." The shepherd replies "Oh I'm sorry, I misherd ewe."
― NWOFHM! Overlord (krakow), Tuesday, 12 March 2013 23:31 (eleven years ago) link
lol
― how's life, Wednesday, 13 March 2013 09:49 (eleven years ago) link
mind blown
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 13 March 2013 14:25 (eleven years ago) link
So, to boost morale, my philosophy department has decided to start having causal fridays.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Monday, 18 March 2013 18:56 (eleven years ago) link
How do you stop a german literature buff from choking?
Give them the heinrich mann oeuvre.
― beau 'daedaly (wins), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:27 (eleven years ago) link
why was glenn gould always so busy?
because he had to play a lot of gigues.
― i've a cozy little flat in what is known as old man hat (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 17:05 (eleven years ago) link
high marks all
― No, not sinister (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:22 (eleven years ago) link
Why did Thom Yorke reject Liam Gallagher's donation of his own body parts for the school raffle?
Because Noel arms and nose are prizes, please
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Thursday, 18 April 2013 10:53 (eleven years ago) link
took me a while to get that one.
― pssstttt, Hey you (dog latin), Thursday, 18 April 2013 10:54 (eleven years ago) link
I'm writing an economic study about the workers at a chain hotdog stand in the UK.
It's called "The Welsh of Nathan's"
― charlie 4chan, internet detective (Hurting 2), Thursday, 18 April 2013 14:00 (eleven years ago) link
What was the gutter punk's favorite Steve Miller song
Fly like an oogle.
― how's life, Thursday, 18 April 2013 18:32 (eleven years ago) link
I dated a customs official once but in the end she had too much baggage.
― pssstttt, Hey you (dog latin), Thursday, 18 April 2013 21:10 (eleven years ago) link
i like it
― charlie 4chan, internet detective (Hurting 2), Thursday, 18 April 2013 21:21 (eleven years ago) link
You know, they say the gay rights movement started with the Stonewall Riots, but those are bullshit. Total false fag operation.
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:08 (eleven years ago) link
Slept with a ballerina last night. She was on point.
― viacom dios, Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:12 (eleven years ago) link
Submitted the following to a short-lived falafel spot on St. Mark's in a contest to name a dish: 'I let this chickpea in my mouth and now I falafel.' Did not win.
― viacom dios, Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:15 (eleven years ago) link
falafel = feel awful is kind of an old standard but I like your twist
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:16 (eleven years ago) link
The causal fridays one upthread is too good.
― viacom dios, Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:23 (eleven years ago) link
ty, I liked your on point as well
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:24 (eleven years ago) link
Noel arms and nose are prizes is gonna haunt my thoughts for eternity tbh.
― Elvis was a hero to most but he never her (ledge), Sunday, 21 April 2013 20:49 (eleven years ago) link
Q: What dancehall artist is #1 on pirate radio stations?
A: B-arrrrr-ington Levy.
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Sunday, 28 April 2013 23:29 (eleven years ago) link
So I ran into my friend the lingerie model the other day, and she was looking really sad. So I asked her "why the thong lace?"
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 30 April 2013 20:19 (eleven years ago) link
Nice.
― o. nate, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 20:31 (eleven years ago) link
I asked my friend if he wanted to come w/ me to this German philosophy discussion but he told me he was busy and that he Kant Goethe anything tonight :(
― siouxsan sarandon (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 21:11 (eleven years ago) link
like
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 21:22 (eleven years ago) link
Q: What's six foot three and purple?
A: René Aubergine
― great wallogina (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 6 May 2013 23:46 (eleven years ago) link
A: What do you call a unicellular eukaryotic organism that would rather spend his Friday night pounding a few Bud Lights with his buds at the pool hall than take his girlfriend out for a romantic Italian dinner for two?A: A brotozoa.
― del griffith, Saturday, 11 May 2013 01:39 (eleven years ago) link
Whoops, sorry, "What do you call a unicellular eukaryotic organism that would rather spend his Friday night pounding a few Bud Lights with his buds at the pool hall than take his girlfriend out for a romantic Italian dinner for two?" was supposed to be the A:
I have a condition you see
― del griffith, Saturday, 11 May 2013 01:45 (eleven years ago) link
It was supposed to be the Q:
(...condition)
― del griffith, Saturday, 11 May 2013 01:46 (eleven years ago) link
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/307372_517836104906387_1641481268_n.jpg
Did you hear that Roger Waters just crashed his inflatable pig into London's tallest building?? I know it's wrong to laugh but eh, Shard and Floyd
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Tuesday, 14 May 2013 14:04 (eleven years ago) link
ouch.
― how's life, Tuesday, 14 May 2013 14:11 (eleven years ago) link
Don't suppose you heard his disastrous cover of Smooth Operator either then?
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Tuesday, 14 May 2013 14:28 (eleven years ago) link
wow.
― how's life, Tuesday, 14 May 2013 14:35 (eleven years ago) link
I hear certain 1970s hairstyles are back in fashion at the moment?Yep, afros are big right now.
― nagl dude dude dude (ledge), Monday, 20 May 2013 13:35 (eleven years ago) link
¡GOL! I'm actually gonna use that on irl.
― Pasty, British & Shit (wins), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:52 (eleven years ago) link
Where do crust punks get those fashionable clothes?
American oogle
― how's life, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 23:27 (eleven years ago) link
Why was the Met visitor so grateful to the one-armed, one-legged man for showing him around?
Because it had been a long time since he'd gotten a half-docent museum tour.
― THIS IS NOT A BENGHAZI T-SHIRT (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 28 May 2013 20:23 (eleven years ago) link
Q: Who is the greatest Ukrainian indie guitar goddess?A: Mary Timoshenko
― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Thursday, 30 May 2013 19:23 (eleven years ago) link
Why did Sean connery take an assertiveness course?
Because he wanted to get more pushy.
― too busy s1ockin' on my 乒乓 (wins), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:09 (eleven years ago) link
brilliant
― the Quim of Bendigo (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:11 (eleven years ago) link