FFM OTM
― kinder, Thursday, 4 April 2013 16:14 (eleven years ago) link
anyone else want to weigh in here on "dick sucking lips"?
― Spectrum, Thursday, 4 April 2013 16:42 (eleven years ago) link
Hey thanks for cutting off my answer so you could go round all the men in the room one by one and listen to them say "dunno" instead, maybe next time you should just say "does anyone know anything about x but please only answer if you don't so I can feel cleverer than everyone"
(excerpts from sleep-deprived and taking shit too personally vol. 34950)
― susuwatari teenage riot (a passing spacecadet), Friday, 5 April 2013 11:18 (eleven years ago) link
ok was totally overreacting yesterday, stressed out as all hell. except for the weird supervisor flirtation shit. new boss boss is totally giving me the cold shoulder, makes an obvious point of ignoring me during meetings. today captain awesome was like "dude, she's ignoring you" and i'm like 'yeah'. not a good sign.
― Spectrum, Friday, 5 April 2013 14:05 (eleven years ago) link
dude I'm sure all the ringtones and alarm sounds will still be on your new phone when you get home and you don't have to try them all in the office
also this is the 3rd new smartphone you've got in 5-6 months, guess you earn more than me, congrats
― susuwatari teenage riot (a passing spacecadet), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 08:43 (eleven years ago) link
anyone else want to weigh in here on "dick sucking lips"?― Spectrum, Thursday, April 4, 2013 4:42 PM (5 days ago)
― Spectrum, Thursday, April 4, 2013 4:42 PM (5 days ago)
first up, "dick sucking lips" shouldn't be used to describe miming fellatio, which seems to be what was happening. it should be used to describe a certain appearance to the lips that lead you to believe that they would be good for sucking dick. is that the case here? if so, i've edited your post to reflect proper usage:
geez, when I first got here my boss totally crossed the line w/ me. she flirted with me in totally inappropriate ways, like playing with her bra strap and jiggling her boobs, touching my hands, pulling her shirt down when I talked to her, putting her pen up to her mouth and smacking it all over her dick sucking lips and shit like that. i still have the pen sitting beside my computer. i stole it from her office. in my pre-therapy messed up state i was like "woah, maybe she's into me", so I went along with it, then she made some public announcement around everyone that co-workers shouldn't fraternize with their bosses ... which was totally about me! i was so fucking embarassed when she said that because I know she talked about it with other people at the office, and she's the one who started that shit! god damn this place is weird.― Spectrum, Thursday, April 4, 2013 1:23 PM (5 days ago)
― Spectrum, Thursday, April 4, 2013 1:23 PM (5 days ago)
but, even now that know the proper usage, i'd recommend avoiding the term.
― dylannn, Tuesday, 9 April 2013 08:56 (eleven years ago) link
I'm here for absolution. I'm about to cut my fingernails at my desk, in my office with the door closed. Bless me ILX for I'm about to sin.
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 14:10 (eleven years ago) link
oh if you're in your own office with a closed door I do not see this as being a problem.
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 14:28 (eleven years ago) link
Thank you. The deed is done. I feel SO MUCH BETTER. I hate typing with long nails. *shudder*
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 14:38 (eleven years ago) link
you're absolved since u have an office with a door. rest easy, carl
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 15:37 (eleven years ago) link
Just hacked my nails back this morning to avoid that terrible, terrible typing-scraping feeling. (Deed done in my bedroom).
― ljubljana, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 15:49 (eleven years ago) link
You can just about whatever you want in your own office, lawd knows I do.
― kate78, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 18:28 (eleven years ago) link
Why did Boss' shredder stopped shredding? B/c it overheated when she was using it with the space heater pointed at it 2 or 3" away.
― Je55e, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 20:29 (eleven years ago) link
Man why even ask for my summary of yesterday's crisis which you were not even slightly interested in helping w/ yesterday if you are just going to talk over it and disagree with minor aspects of my wording
if you know so much more about it than the people who actually had to deal with it then maybe you should have fixed it for us and sent the 200 apologetic emails I had to send for someone else's fuckup
(this rather closely resembles my last post on this thread and yes it is directed at the same person, and no they are not my boss or it might be acceptable)
― susuwatari teenage riot (a passing spacecadet), Friday, 26 April 2013 10:01 (eleven years ago) link
i work in a huge office building in the suburbs. its parking lots are also huge and far flung.
i just saw a dude in a trans-siberian orchestra tshirt and cargo pants rollerblade from his car to the front door of the building.
― goole, Monday, 6 May 2013 15:29 (eleven years ago) link
teaching u how to live
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 6 May 2013 15:33 (eleven years ago) link
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01972/james-bond_1972400c.jpg
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Monday, 6 May 2013 15:37 (eleven years ago) link
[11:54:42 AM] N_____: you not on skype[11:54:53 AM] N_____: kevin is looking for you[11:54:59 AM] Trayce: ?[11:55:02 AM] Trayce: youre skyping me!
...I dont even.
― It is like ganging up on Enya (Trayce), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 01:58 (eleven years ago) link
ugh can someone googlefy my name pls stupid cut n paste.
― It is like ganging up on Enya (Trayce), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 02:40 (eleven years ago) link
y
― groovy replacement (electricsound), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 02:49 (eleven years ago) link
thankye kindley
― It is like ganging up on Enya (Trayce), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 03:03 (eleven years ago) link
Boss' computer is about 5 years old, and it has been starting to have problems.
Couple of weeks ago IT guy fixed it and recommended buying a new system. Boss says that IT guy just wants to score a commission from Dell (on a computer that would cost barely $1,000) and "this one is working just fine."
Today, more problems. IT guy works for a couple hours and says it's time for a new computer. Boss says, "This one is working just fine."
― Je55e, Thursday, 16 May 2013 16:20 (eleven years ago) link
Boss' diagnosis: computer should not be left on overnight because "It's well-known that that's how hackers get in."
― Je55e, Thursday, 16 May 2013 16:22 (eleven years ago) link
also, elves
― why does Kanye say he was based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire? (sic), Thursday, 16 May 2013 16:29 (eleven years ago) link
I have a temporary co-worker (a new contact person on a biannual sheep breeders directory) who is making me want to drink antifreeze. This is her first time coordinating any sort of project like this, and I've had to talk her off the ledge and let her know the project is going well at least 2x daily for the last 10 days. The upside is that she's directed some of that nervous energy into selling ads, so we have 2 to 3 times the number of advertisers from the previous directory.
One of the advertisers pulled his ad because I pointed out the bad photoshop job he'd done on the picture he wanted to run. (Imagine a digital version of the ruined fresco of Jesus in Spain from last year.)
― What makes a man start threads? (WilliamC), Thursday, 16 May 2013 16:43 (eleven years ago) link
To the IT guy in response to his saying her computer is old (6 years old, not 5): "Look, the reality is that computers are obsolete the second you pay for them." (so they remain forever at the same level of obsolescence??)
― Je55e, Thursday, 16 May 2013 16:50 (eleven years ago) link
She's probably already wasted $1000 worth of IT's time keeping this one around
― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Thursday, 16 May 2013 18:37 (eleven years ago) link
Well yeh. Our IT is a consultant, whom we pay hourly.
Wm, I wish I could see the bad photoshop. Imagining a flat-faced sheep. A lamb, like the ruined fresco of the lamb of God.
― Je55e, Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:19 (eleven years ago) link
I would post it, but I don't want to cross the streams of work and ilx life too much. It was a backdrop shot of a winning ram, and they'd painted over it in its two colors (tan body, black face and legs) so that it just looked like a cardboard silhouette. I think they must have cancelled the ad out of embarrassment, but they said they were cancelling it because I had the gall to ask for a higher-resolution version of the photo. (They sent 338 x 224 pixels, roughly postage-stamp size at print resolution.)
― What makes a man start threads? (WilliamC), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:37 (eleven years ago) link
training with coworker to learn new tasks that may come up in the coming weeks. as far as I know, I'm just helping pick up some slack. Find myself trapped in this whirling nervous vortex of "uhmmm so here is EVERYTHING i do" that was so unending & tooootally confusing & overwhelming & I was like "Okay, I'm gonna stop you there. My brain only can hold so much the first time round, we can go over things as they come up." and pray that 90% of what he told me I won't have to do for at least a little while. Fuuuuuck me O_O
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:48 (eleven years ago) link
some people really suck at dispensing *pertinent* information
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:49 (eleven years ago) link
One of my coworkers has been sick all week. Really felt bad for him. He's wracked with a cough, etc. Friday, during the lunch hour, he's on a personal phone call in his office. "Oh, I'm doing better. Except it's all coming out the other end." "That Mucinex really thins you out, if you know what I mean." Yeah, well you'll be crappin' too in about a week!"
I'm just sitting out here in my cubicle trying to eat a veggie burger. You have an office with a door. Use it.
― how's life, Sunday, 19 May 2013 10:53 (eleven years ago) link
Our temporary HR lead may be the single worst person I have ever encountered.
She has been brought on to oversee the recruitment of a dozen new staff. In two months we haven't recruited anyone despite hundreds of interviews. Otherwise fine candidates have been vetoed for not being 'spunky' enough, having 'the wrong vibe' or because she 'wasn't really feeling them'.
She'll answer a shared phone line, say "uh, what? I don't know what you're talking about" and hang up. Might be a potential new customer, might not, who knows?
She yelled 'you're not very good at your job, are you" at our IT department (overworked ppl in Bangalore serving a company of tens of thousands) because they couldn't make her computer go faster.
She'll grab handfuls of chocolates given to us by clients to share with the office and bray through a full mouth "isn't it amazing how I never put on weight?"
She encouraged one of my colleagues to have a cupcake by saying 'it's not as though you're "big" big'.
She has gone into interviews with the wrong people's CVs and cover letters.
She's so desperate to show of how fluent she is in Spanish she'll do pre-interview vetting entirely in castellano. Which would be fine if it didn't mean we keep calling people for interview who aren't proficient in English - something she would have realised had she not been showing off.
Ugh.
― хуто-хуторянка (ShariVari), Friday, 24 May 2013 17:04 (eleven years ago) link
O_o
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 24 May 2013 17:06 (eleven years ago) link
Wow! She is terrible.
― carl agatha, Friday, 24 May 2013 17:15 (eleven years ago) link
lol. she sounds like the worst person ever!
― how's life, Friday, 24 May 2013 17:18 (eleven years ago) link
I think she might be an actress hired to make the boss look less awful in comparison.
― хуто-хуторянка (ShariVari), Friday, 24 May 2013 17:19 (eleven years ago) link
...she isn't what you would call a people person
― your holiness, we have an official energy drink (Z S), Wednesday, 29 May 2013 17:12 (eleven years ago) link
I kinda have a crush on her, tbh.
― how's life, Wednesday, 29 May 2013 17:14 (eleven years ago) link
"'it's not as though you're "big" big'."
omg
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Wednesday, 29 May 2013 19:28 (eleven years ago) link
"bass music is any kind of music where the bass is the main part of the music - drum & bass, dubstep, house... even reggae and blue have elements of bass music in them."
FIRED.
― eh mec, elle est ou ma caisse? (ytth), Friday, 31 May 2013 05:38 (ten years ago) link
thank you based music
― 0808ɹƃ (silby), Friday, 31 May 2013 05:38 (ten years ago) link
So our building custodian guy, Ken, is really nice, which sometimes crosses over into being officious, and he's a bit child-like in a sort of Edith Massey way.
Today he calls me to tell me one of our lawyers parked improperly and needs to move his car. I asked what the problem was and where he should re-park. Ken says, "Go to the window and see where he's parked."
"Can you just tell me?"
"He's off to the side, over by -- just go to the window, you'll see. I'll wait."
"Ken, can you just tell me??"
"No, you have to see."
So I go to the window and see that the car is parked by the Dumpster.
"Did you see it?"
"Yeh, it's by the Dumpster."
"Yeh, so he needs to move it in case the garbage truck comes."
Why did I *have to* go to the window? Why do I *have to* go look at a trash can to see if some papers were thrown away accidentally? Why do I always have to look at things for him?
― Je55e, Thursday, 6 June 2013 16:37 (ten years ago) link
maybe he couldn't remember the word for dumpster
― no man is an islam (onimo), Thursday, 6 June 2013 16:50 (ten years ago) link
He likes to watch you look at trash.
― Evan, Thursday, 6 June 2013 16:56 (ten years ago) link
He just likes bossing you around.
― Home Despot (WilliamC), Thursday, 6 June 2013 16:56 (ten years ago) link
There's a parallel board where Ken is moaning about how someone at work wanted him to describe in detail over the phone exactly how a car was wrongly parked instead of just glancing out the window and getting the thing moved.
― no man is an islam (onimo), Thursday, 6 June 2013 17:08 (ten years ago) link
I was sure that he was going to be out there by the dumpster waving at you, or mooning you, or something prankish like that!
― Z S, Thursday, 6 June 2013 17:15 (ten years ago) link
Oh great, I've got an advertiser who wants to create his own ad and wants me to give him free InDesign lessons so he can do it.
― Home Despot (WilliamC), Friday, 7 June 2013 01:17 (ten years ago) link
"what's today's date?" asks a co-worker. WTF?
― Neil S, Thursday, 27 June 2013 11:16 (ten years ago) link