this is the thread where you copy and paste whatever other posts on ilx made you laugh out loud

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i've given up on nerve

pheromones have usurped punctuation usage for the time being

-- mark p (m*****...) (webmail), March 5th, 2003 10:01 AM. (later)

pheromones have usurped punctuation usage for the time being

What, you expect someone to put proper usage of commas before their overwhelming need for wang/vaj?

-- nickalicious (nza2342...) (webmail), March 5th, 2003 10:17 AM. (later)


Wangvaj sounds like a proper name, god help me.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), March 5th, 2003 10:19 AM. (later)

Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 22:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

Fear for Ned's kids.

"I'm Wangvaj Raggett and this is my sister Ballcunny. We hate our father."

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 23:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

Note that I don't count Radiohead as Britpop. If I did, then "OK Computer" would be at the very top of the list - beating even Dodgy at their best.


-- Geir Hongro (geirhong@.), March 5th, 2003 11:01 PM

Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Thursday, 6 March 2003 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

this thread is like everything wrong with fight club.
-- Sterling Clover (s_clove...) (webmail), March 5th, 2003 7:33 PM. (later)


It's like caffienated chickens in a lobster pot.
-- Michael Stuchbery (mikeybidnes...) (webmail), March 5th, 2003 7:38 PM. (later)

Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 6 March 2003 06:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

go mikeybidness!

minna (minna), Thursday, 6 March 2003 06:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

go mikeybidness!
-- minna (girl_thursda...), March 5th, 2003

Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Thursday, 6 March 2003 06:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

First of all, Graham, speak to other people as you would like to be spoken to, otherwise you will get nowhere in life.

[snip]

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), March 6th, 2003.

(the chortlesomeness of this sentence is rather offset by Marcello's later comments, but that line did make me snigger. read the full post here: This Is The Thread Where You KEEP ON SHOUTING FOR THE MODERATOR! DV)

DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 6 March 2003 10:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

There are two kinds of people in this world, and you aren't either of them.
-- Colin Meeder (amisrau...), March 6th, 2003.

SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Thursday, 6 March 2003 11:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://haxor.slashgod.net/albums/kitten/aaf.jpg

Thanks Tom!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 6 March 2003 20:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

In one sense, I can see why taking a break might be good. On the other hand, I'd rather Donna never took a break from here.

-- Martin Skidmore (martin.skidmore...), March 7th, 2003. (later) (link)


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Even I though that was creepy Martin.

-- Graham (dtc...), March 7th, 2003. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 March 2003 21:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

Flattery Will Get You ...

A restraining order.
-- Graham (dtc...), March 7th, 2003 12:01 AM.

RJG (RJG), Friday, 7 March 2003 00:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

Haha, who is that, Jamie Moyer? That kitten looks like it's going to fall off the table. Filthy!

felicity (felicity), Friday, 7 March 2003 00:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

For example, I remember from back in high school my teacher telling me a story about how a kid in the class happened to be afraid of cotton balls. This was discovered when for some reason or another, she placed a cotton ball on the desk and he freaked out. Needless to say, the next day everyone in the class brought in cotton balls, and the kid freaked out. Now, is this a malicious act that clearly hurt someone? Absolutely. Do I think, as horrible as it was to do to the kid, that throwing cotton balls on his desk was funny? Yes, I do, because I personally believe such a phobia is extremely random and hilarious. Should people have gone to my high school and made the act of importing a cotton ball into the building an offense (for both staff and students)? Of course not. That's silly.


-- Alan Conceicao (scepticunivers...), March 6th, 2003.

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 7 March 2003 00:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

looks like a hanging furball to me.

Aaron A., Friday, 7 March 2003 00:54 (twenty-one years ago) link


hey - I never said i took the drugs byself, I just said they were in my system. As to how they got there, I blame the bloody preverts who are after my
essential fluids.

-- Geoff (pissingintherive...), June 17th, 2001.

Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Friday, 7 March 2003 02:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hey, am I alone in never finding anything on this thread funny at all. I guess context is all.

N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 7 March 2003 04:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yes, you are alone. So very, very alone. The wind is howling, and somwwhere, a cricket chirrups. Tumbleweeds pass. &c.

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 7 March 2003 04:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

it sounds like of romantic

N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 7 March 2003 05:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

'kind of', not 'like of'. It is 5am - sorry.

N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 7 March 2003 05:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

Thats ok I misspelt "somwhere", and its 4pm here so I have no excuse, except that I am at work and my brain is melting.

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 7 March 2003 05:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

TULL PEOPLE< I MEAND COME ON!!!!! HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO THEM?

George S (livinginthepast2@cs.com), March 6th, 2003

g.cannon (gcannon), Friday, 7 March 2003 06:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

On the ‘When was the first time in your life you felt old?’ people were talking about Dylan and Curtis and what they’d achieved at the same age, when Andrew appears:

"It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years."
-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), March 7th, 2003 10:49 AM. (later)

Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 12:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

Did he attribute his quote to Tom Lehrer?

Nick A. (Nick A.), Friday, 7 March 2003 13:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

Well I put it quotes. I think it's taken for granted that any unattributed funny quote is by Tom Lehrer.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 7 March 2003 14:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

Clever does not equal funny. My post stands.

Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 14:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's a bit too big too. I think a second one needs starting.

Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 7 March 2003 14:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

I was going to do it this morning but thought it cheeky. You go for it and I'll cover you!

Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 14:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

Funny because it is true:

I have it on good authority Lara has an extra teat from which her familiar suckles by moonlight.
-- Madchen (madchen_in_unifor...), March 6th, 2003 1:15 PM. (later)


Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 14:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

From "Your Amazon Wishlist"

1. Don't Tell Me the Truth About Love by Dan Rhodes
2. Feast: A History of Grand Eating by Roy Strong
3. Indulgence: Around the World in Search of Chocolate by Paul Richardson
4. The True History of Chocolate by Sophie D. Coe, Michael D. Coe
5. Favourite Sweets and Toffee Recipes: Traditional Home-made Confectionary (Favourite Recipies Series) by Carol Wilson, Birkett Foster (Illustrator)
6. Food: A History by Felipe Fernandez-Armesto
7. Double Fold: Libraries and the Assault on Paper by Nicholson Baker
8. The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes (The Sandman) by Neil Gaiman, et al
9. A New Way to Cook by Sally Schneider, Maria Robledo (Photographer)
10. A Mind of Its Own: a Cultural History of the Penis by David M. Friedman
11. The Little Friend by Donna Tartt
12. The Sandman Library 4: Season of Mists (The Sandman)
by Neil Gaiman, et al
13. Speaker for the Dead: Book 2 of the "Ender" Saga (The Ender Saga) by Orson Scott Card
14. Stupid White Men ... and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation! by Michael Moore
15. Barcelona Plates by Alexei Sayle


I don't even like chocolate and penises that much.


-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 7th, 2003. (later)

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 7 March 2003 15:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

My dad put a bunch of hardcore porn in my bedroom closet when I was 12 (the same year he made me get stoned with him). The first sex-related thing I ever saw was a magazine called "Raunchy," whose cover had a close-up of a woman's crotch with a cucumber in her vagina and a carrot in her asshole. I found it on a Sunday morning before church, and my dad told me later that day that he was "proud" of me for looking at it.

My mom, on the other hand, gave me a book by Dr. James Dobson about adolescence. She highlighted a section of the book where it said Jesus never masturbated, plus she cut out an Ann Landers column and put it on my bedroom door. It said that if you masturbated you were no longer a virgin.

Suffice it so say my parents were divorced.

--Yanc3y

It was the closing comment on this that had me rolling

Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ha, thats what I was going to paste. The first paragraph.

Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

I went to the high school, my one semester there I mean, that was named after James Dobson.

Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

(Skipping over context 'cause far too lengthy...but this one almost had me pissing my pants; I'm not explaining why either, so nya.)

It would be much cooler to say "I refute you THUS."
-- Colin Meeder (amisrau...), March 7th, 2003. (Mert)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 7 March 2003 18:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh, piss off Dastoor. We're not here for your pleasure.
-- Lara (lara_byrn...), March 7th, 2003.

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JUST FUCK YOU YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK
-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 7th, 2003.

Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 7 March 2003 18:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

"I wanna fuck you in the ass with this white coat on"
-- Matt DC (runmd...), March 7th, 2003. (Matt DC) (link)

Colin Saunders (csaunders), Friday, 7 March 2003 18:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

Moby is not here right now he is in the hospital because another cat bit him.
-- Aaron Grossman (aajjg...), March 7th, 2003.

Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

harrumph, that's about the closest I've been, and I still didn't get posted to this thread.

hstencil, Friday, 7 March 2003 20:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

me neither, I've never made this thread, persoanlly, I blame hstencil! ;)

jel -- (jel), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

despite the annoyingness of them all, the knowledge that these threads exist seems to have brightened up my day consistently. As long as they stop soon, then i'd be the happiest man in the world, content to know that they once were. And that they are no longer.
-- dog latin (doglati...), February 3rd, 2003.


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Hi!
-- conner Smedley (conner66...), February 3rd, 2003.

Aaron A., Friday, 7 March 2003 21:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

from "Superheros Who Might Be Gay":

this is like starting a thread called "members of daft punk who might be french".
-- Dave M. (pton_mwaa...), March 6th, 2003

Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 7 March 2003 23:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

I think probably hulk is not gay , only because he is always too angry to think about anything. He is probably non sexual. Or maybe in private he mates with giant animals like elephants, who explode.
-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), March 7th, 2003.

Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Friday, 7 March 2003 23:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh, piss off Dastoor. We're not here for your pleasure.
-- Lara (lara_byrn...), March 7th, 2003.

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JUST FUCK YOU YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK
-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 7th, 2003.


-- Ally (mlescau...), March 7th, 2003 6:25 PM. (later)


Love is a beautiful thing, kids.

Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 23:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

fine work Chaki. But I am usually represtned by a picture of albino Don King
-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), March 9th, 2003.

Andrew L (Andrew L), Sunday, 9 March 2003 18:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

My dad put a bunch of hardcore porn in my bedroom closet when I was 12 (the same year he made me get stoned with him). The first sex-related thing I ever saw was a magazine called "Raunchy," whose cover had a close-up of a woman's crotch with a cucumber in her vagina and a carrot in her asshole. I found it on a Sunday morning before church, and my dad told me later that day that he was "proud" of me for looking at it.

My mom, on the other hand, gave me a book by Dr. James Dobson about adolescence. She highlighted a section of the book where it said Jesus never masturbated, plus she cut out an Ann Landers column and put it on my bedroom door. It said that if you masturbated you were no longer a virgin.

Suffice it so say my parents were divorced.

- Yanc3y on the "the talk" thread.

Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 9 March 2003 19:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Anyone know any group theory?

-- mei (meirion.lewi...), March 8th, 2003. (later)


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Is that about sex?
-- Martin Skidmore (martin.skidmore...), March 8th, 2003. (later)

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Sunday, 9 March 2003 21:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

I love it when I get quoted on here! Thanks Andrew!

(To be honest I kind of felt obliged to play up to my image there. I did study maths at Cambridge, briefly, and I do know a little about the subject. Or did once...)

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 9 March 2003 22:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

I know. A simple joke in many hands, but see how Martin gives it depth and timbre...

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Sunday, 9 March 2003 22:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

and also possibly a reacharound

mark p (Mark P), Sunday, 9 March 2003 23:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://members.aol.com/explodingcoeur/catcomix.jpg

Wow.

jm (jtm), Sunday, 9 March 2003 23:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

Repost jimmy's with my name on it (seconded)

Millar (Millar), Sunday, 9 March 2003 23:49 (twenty-one years ago) link


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