i just got a job working overnight at a hotel front desk

between may and september, the hotel is mostly booked. a few weeknights are still free. we have a few suites set aside on scattered weekends. there are cancellations and no shows. but you can't really get a room just by walking in the door.

tonight, a man with one arm came into the hotel to ask for a room. i said, "we don't have any suites available for tonight."
he asked, "do you need a credit card to book a room?"
"yes, you do need a credit card to book a room."
"okay. you need a credit card?"
"but, unfortunately, we don't have any rooms available tonight."
he asked me, with real bitterness, "is it because of the way i look?"

This thread has strong potential to be a black and white Jim Jarmusch short featuring John Lurie and filmed in 1983. Which would be odd, because someone would alert dylannn to its existence via social media, and he would (after much postponement, because who needs a busman's holiday?) watch it with a growing sense of deja vu.

I lived that very scene, man! The one-armed man [in movie, inevitable Tom Waits cameo] really did croak: "Is it because of the way I look?"

You are the overnight desk clerk, Dylannn--you've always been the overnight desk clerk.

(Looking forward to checking in on this thread in about a month.)

a few hours ago, a guy with a cowboy hat came in, looked a lot like don imus, and asked me questions about my life and he also told me: "i've got a son named dylan," bob dylan's birthday was on may 24th, and bob dylan is 72 years old. he told me that he divorced his wife on bob dylan's birthday. his wife was a canadian public radio personality whose name i recognized. he asked me if i was a musician. he gave me a cd, broke out the back sheet from it and signed it with a sharpie, THANKS FOR LISTENING. i'm listening to it right now and there's a song on the cd called "a lonely place called divorce" and there's a line on it about divorcing his wife on bob dylan's birthday. there's another song warning women to treat him well or they'll end up as a line in his suicide letter.

i was impressed with his commitment to his personal vision of his own character. but it made almost too neat an anecdote to share, black and white jim jarmusch short neat. maybe the one armed man story should have been filed in the same category.

what's happening in a month?

http://www.awardscircuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/jack_torrance_jack_nicholson_the_shining_warnerbros_16anof7-16anoga1.jpg

(Just kidding--good luck.)

No bellhop sidekick?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNNKOXJ2PqI

the boredom, killing six or seven hours of deadtime a night
is grinding me down.

a guy came to the desk a few minutes ago, he said, "you want to do a good gag with me?"
"sure, okay... what are we doing?"
"you come up to our room in about fifteen minutes, tell us we're too loud--"
"okay."
"--and i'll freak out on you and you tell us that we're all outta there."

this doesn't sound like a good idea. i don't trust his improv skills.

okay. he just came by the desk and said, "don't worry about it. they went to sleep."
"alright!"
"it was a good idea, though." thumbs up.
"have a good night!"

dylann that is my favorite story in forever you are the king

It sounds like something out of an episode of My Name is Earl!

which step is the "hey wanna do a good gag with me" step

is dylan Tao Lin?

i don't have the heart to rewrite it in the style of people writing in tao lin style on the internet.

but that will be the only thing that happens tonight. last night or the night before, i only slept a few hours during the day and came into work and, when everyone was gone, made a bed of towels on the floor in the back room and fell asleep until quarter to four. the night before that, i set myself up in an empty room and sat at the desk and wrote on the hotel stationary and drank a can of kokanee. i took a shower in another room, an early checkout. three women came in around two in the morning and i gave them a free room for no reason and they checked into their room and one of them came back and put two twenty dollar bills on the counter (american currency). there's a girl that works in the laundry room until midnight and she's started stopping in to chat before she goes home and i don't want to discourage her because i enjoy the ten or fifteen minutes she's here--in order to drive conversation with her, i checked her out on facebook but she seems to be really interested in soccer, and i found an introduction to sudanese arabic on youtube and i practiced the phrases with her, and we talk about cities in the united states that would be good to live in and food--but i simultaneously resent it because it subtracts time by myself from the night. with nobody coming by, no slow darkening of the day, the natural rhythms of life are absent and every hour feels like an hour but it still goes by too fast.

But Scheer and other experts believe a significant part of the problem with shift work is physiological. On a fundamental level, being awake at odd or irregular hours fights with our biological rhythms. Shift work disrupts the circadian rhythm -- our internal body clock that is keyed to natural daylight and darkness.

Because circadian rhythm affects how the body functions, disrupting it can throw everything out of whack -- including our cardiovascular system, metabolism, digestion, immune system, and hormonal balance. That appears to have serious consequences.

The short-term health effects of shift work are clear. ... Aside from the obvious fatigue, effects include:

Gastrointestinal symptoms like upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, and heartburn
Increased risk of injuries and accidents
Insomnia
Decreased quality of life
General feeling of being unwell

http://25.media.tumblr.com/4fa46499a219ee621ad687eb3b0544bc/tumblr_moqh1ysvg71qzb8z0o1_500.png

I worked a summer on the noc shift back when, in a hospital. it does mess with you for sure. though I've known noc shift lifers, too. I couldn't be one but when I thought of my time on the noc shift as a waystation then I could get into it, like it was a quest or something.

Strange that brodie didn't show up for this thread.

I noc shifted for over a year full time at a truck stop. I remember once my cousin's husband sent me a copy of 2666 for Christmas, and I ended up reading it during my down time at work and got through it in a week.

i tried just dividing each 24 hour period into 8 hours of work, 8 hours of non-work waking time, and 8 hours of sleep, but the system is destroyed by my inability to mark out 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and the necessary slowdown and wakeup periods at the beginning and end of the sleep cycle. with a day off, i ended up sleeping from 2 pm until 7 am the next morning, 17 hours of hard, hard sleep. like, this morning, i was up at 6 am again, after a solid ten hours of sleep the night before, and i slept from 10 am to 11 am or so, and now i'll be awake until at least 9 am, which means i'm looking at 22-23 hours awake. i'll be able to correct slightly by sleeping, hopefully, 9am-3pm and then maybe 7pm-10pm-- that's 9 hours budgeted for sleep but time has to be allowed for falling asleep and if i aim to wake up at 9 pm, i'll set my alarm for 8:40, and then it's cut back to 7-7.5 hours of sleep. but that's enough sleep.

working late, i only have the vaguest sense of the rest of the staff, especially the heavyweights of guest services that control the lobby during the day, the staff of eight or nine that are here behind the desk and behind other desks during daylight hours. when i come in at 11, sometimes it's a guy named daniel, who is from toronto, went to school in vancouver and actually did some sort of degree in working at hotels. things that drive our conversation: gossip about other staff members, 'ryan gosling or channing tatum'-style pick only one games. but this information is out of date because he got fired for stealing money. now, it's this girl named nicole or a girl named rebecca. rebecca is a coolly religious girl from some fucked up town in northern ontario. the first time i met her, i asked her, "a lot of gas huffing going on up there?"-- that's not a funny thing to say but in my memory of the conversation, i asked it sincerely and quickly realized it wasn't a good first conversation question. i followed that question up with, "how's the moose hunting up there?" she's a singer. after the conversation where i asked her about huffing gas, i had several very sincere, serious conversations with her. nicole is in her late-30s and also went to school to learn how to work at a hotel, an educational choice that i'm mentioning again in the same slightly disparaging tone. she's got a pompadour and seems like she'd be interested in a local roller derby league forming. she likes to touch while talking and also shared with me that she has sex with men and women. she's very short and... i'm a gentleman, okay? i don't know quite how to put this but... she has a nice figure. when i talk to her, i adopt a mumbling, old fashioned masculine character, alberta accent, spitting molasses through the slit in the lid of a styrofoam coffee cup. tonight, she mentioned that she couldn't find weed and said that the reason was the flooding in southern alberta and highway closures in the bc interior. we sat in the front seat of my car and smoked a joint. i mentioned that i really enjoyed working with rebecca. nicole asked in a flirty way, "ohhhh, you're feeling a little something for her, huh?"
"no no no, nothing like that."
"she's a pretty big girl."
"that's not a problem."
there was some segue to this but i can't remember what it: she pulled open the top of her shirt and showed me the strap of her bra. it was leopard print, or some other animal print. for some reason, i said, "come on, let me see the whole thing."

that's not the right way to build a healthy relationship with co-workers.

for some reason

mysterious

the first guest that came in while i was working also worked our conversation over to flooding in southern alberta. i made some throwaway comment about the tragedy of it.
she said, "it can stay flooded for all i care!"

nah, man. it's like, i mean i was unable to be cool and harness my desire to see her titties and stay in character.

the second guest that came in was named van nostrand. she said it might be tough to spell but i reminded her, kramer as dr. martin van nostrand. she said that her family was very proud of the name and that they've traced their family tree back to the 1630s, friesland. she said that when her second son was born, they let their first son choose a name for him. he chose the name jacob. turns out, they learned this later, their first son had no idea, their first ancestor that came over to canada and settled in toronto was also named jacob.

dylannn i want you to know that i am thinking about you and your sitch and that your stories, while perhaps sad to you, or even irritating, are tremendously beguiling from my POV. hang in there.

This is great reading. Thanks, Dylann.

really enjoying the stories dylannn -- pretty fantastic stuff.

Seconding that, love the stories <3

that's good to hear!

although i wish there was more to say. i've related nearly every incident that has occurred. the only events i've omitted are those that might strain credibility-- even if they're true, they sound a little too good.

is there anything interesting going on in terms of just surroundings; hotel carpet patterning, competing hums of electronic fixtures, &c. i am staying up waiting to do a radio fill in drinking shitty coffee (i went to the place & asked for a medium coffee & then had doubts, whether i should have got a large since i have to be up until probably seven, but lord i don't even wanna see what the large is like now i have the medium) & i am really enjoying this thread, its gateway nocturnalism

i'm not sure about the organization of a daytime hotel staff, but there are two offices that i can sit in. one office is near the front desk and has a flatscreen monitor displaying 9 security camera feeds. it has three white book cases and the only things on them are binders with labels like TIME SHEETS 2010/2011 and they're arranged in alternating black and blue. carpet is coarse, striped taupe beige dark blue. there's a honeywell window fan set in a window and it's blowing on the highest setting and the sound of plastic blades sucking in night air is the main sound. there's another office that's empty except for a desk and fridge, but there's no window and it's hot. there's a large back room with two fridges, a LIFETIME-brand folding table, two bulletin boards (schedule, black and white computer printouts of pictures of cats, a glossy colour picture of a cat in a jar, minutes from the occupational health committee, a notice of contravention from the alberta minstry of labour relations and workplace safety, a list of emergency numbers, the hotel's human rights and harassment policy, an origami flower, a computer printout of a picture of a black woman with the caption "share this if you're a strong, independent black woman who DON'T NEED NO MAN," a sketch of the hotel done by a guest, several thank you cards from guests), a first aid kit on the wall, a water cooler, stacks of phone books, two haier-brand fridges, a water cooler, and several leather office chairs.

on the main floor, there's also a small library, which is octagonal and has views of a creek and an ordered block of forest. in the library, there are several low book cases and a glass case containing local historical artifacts. it is uncarpeted.

there are other things on the main floor:
there's a gym.
the entrance to the outdoor pool is at the east end of the main hallway. it's hot tonight but when i first started working here, a month or so ago, it was still getting cold enough that the pool would steam all night, sending up a constant wet cloud over the east side of the building. there's a wrought iron fence around the pool.
the indoor pool is at the west end of the main hallway. it was built relatively recently and it's industrial and there's nothing about it worth describing, a lot of concrete and beige tile. it closes at ten o'clock, so during the primetime of inactivity between two and three thirty, i'll sometimes go for a swim, which requires some daring on my part because of the long period of time away from my post and semi-public nudity.

does your hotel have any meeting rooms/ballrooms?
how many rooms/suites/floors?
is there a gift shop?
have you had to "walk" anyone yet?
how many similar hotels are there in the area?

there are two large conference rooms. there are also business suites that have a long meeting table and two work areas. there doesn't seem to be a large number of corporate groups. we get a lot of business from tour groups. during the week, there are sometimes talks by local naturalists or historians.
there are five floors. 60 rooms/suites.
there's a gift shop, which sells things like expensive raincoats, books about local history and outdoors topics, small pieces of art by local artists, postcards.
there's an on-site restaurant and room service until midnight.
in all of the instances we were overbooked, i was saved by no shows. i've heard that it's standard practice for hotels to overbook and we are usually overbooked on big weekends. the last week, we've been overbooked by 10-15% because of the amount of no shows and last minute cancellations due to flooding. i think OTAs making bookings can sometimes result in overbooking, if a date is not manually closed on our end. a lot of the booking issues are probably sorted out before i arrive at work. so far this week, i have checked in three guests.
there are many similar hotels in the area. it's a resort area, a major tourist destination for domestic and international tourists. i feel like we're upper midrange, price and qualitywise.

how many security personnel are on duty during your shift

we have a contract with commissionaires; one guy on duty from 11-3.

and after 3....?

nothing, man. is that unusual?

sort of? i dont know.

anyway, good thread.

i am just drinking in these descriptions

it's like a richard ford novel

great thread

although i wish there was more to say. i've related nearly every incident that has occurred. the only events i've omitted are those that might strain credibility-- even if they're true, they sound a little too good.

feeling this, as you'll all know from the famous ilf thread "I SCORED A GOAL FFS" hang on in there, back yourself and give us the full story imo

what happens if you're overbooked and everyone shows up? is there a policy in place for that or do you just have to wing it?

http://blog.cvent.com/blog/meeting-and-event-planning-tips/the-hotel-walk-policy-defined

working late, i only have the vaguest sense of the rest of the staff, especially the heavyweights of guest services that control the lobby during the day, the staff of eight or nine that are here behind the desk and behind other desks during daylight hours. when i come in at 11, sometimes it's a guy named daniel, who is from toronto, went to school in vancouver and actually did some sort of degree in working at hotels. things that drive our conversation: gossip about other staff members, 'ryan gosling or channing tatum'-style pick only one games. but this information is out of date because he got fired for stealing money. now, it's this girl named nicole or a girl named rebecca. rebecca is a coolly religious girl from some fucked up town in northern ontario. the first time i met her, i asked her, "a lot of gas huffing going on up there?"-- that's not a funny thing to say but in my memory of the conversation, i asked it sincerely and quickly realized it wasn't a good first conversation question. i followed that question up with, "how's the moose hunting up there?" she's a singer. after the conversation where i asked her about huffing gas, i had several very sincere, serious conversations with her. nicole is in her late-30s and also went to school to learn how to work at a hotel, an educational choice that i'm mentioning again in the same slightly disparaging tone. she's got a pompadour and seems like she'd be interested in a local roller derby league forming. she likes to touch while talking and also shared with me that she has sex with men and women. she's very short and... i'm a gentleman, okay? i don't know quite how to put this but... she has a nice figure. when i talk to her, i adopt a mumbling, old fashioned masculine character, alberta accent, spitting molasses through the slit in the lid of a styrofoam coffee cup. tonight, she mentioned that she couldn't find weed and said that the reason was the flooding in southern alberta and highway closures in the bc interior. we sat in the front seat of my car and smoked a joint. i mentioned that i really enjoyed working with rebecca. nicole asked in a flirty way, "ohhhh, you're feeling a little something for her, huh?"
"no no no, nothing like that."
"she's a pretty big girl."
"that's not a problem."
there was some segue to this but i can't remember what it: she pulled open the top of her shirt and showed me the strap of her bra. it was leopard print, or some other animal print. for some reason, i said, "come on, let me see the whole thing."

that's not the right way to build a healthy relationship with co-workers.

I want an entire book of Raymond Carver-esque short fiction, On the Midnight Shift

I also have this thread bookmarked, I used to work the 11-7 shift and the night vibe you depict resonates with me. good writing, too! thanks, man.

Yeah, this whole place sounds exactly like certain aspects of hotels I've worked in, except transplanted to what sounds like the wild highwayman frontiers of Canada. I could imagine a world where teleportation is implemented just by having you step inside one sad hotel at 3 AM, and you can step back out of any of them.

you should work on writing a book while you're bored at the hotel, even if it's not about hotels. i would buy it.