The Apprentice UK 2013

Francesa has a personal website under construction that's due to go live in 10 hours. She's still listed as principle choreographer at a dance company. Did we know she choreographed the iLiKETRAiNS video for "The Christmas Tree Ship"? Now we do. She still owns a look-a-like agency.

Rebecca's business plan was online sales of moissanite jewellery as a cheap alternative to diamonds.

neilclough.net is a horrible framed website which has next to no detail on it and doesn't seem to sell anything except his time as a motivational speaker. On the basis of his web presence, he's the winner (as Francesca's website launch isn't timed to coincide with the finale).

"you are a parasite this interview is terminated" is next level brutality from that one guy

Really hope this is something along the lines of "Jordan you are a parasite for basically trying to hire out your programmer mate(s) while you take a cut of the money for doing sod all."

― Meine Damen und Herren, ein grosse sh*tstorm! (snoball), Thursday, 4 July 2013 10:02 (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In fact, more than *hope*, I'd say that's the only scenario where that comment would be 'acceptable'...

Someone on Digital Spy has turned up that Luisa's companies have a net worth of £194, according to her directorship notes in the parent company. And yes, her husband (who she apparently still lives with despite the alleged 6 month thing with Jordan and the pimp boyfriend from the press) is co-owner. He's dissolved three companies over the past couple of years, over £1M in the hole in each of them.

Yes, but that form of parasitism is part of the definition of modern (and ancient) business methodologies and prenciples.

Principles, even.

some excellent sleuthing going on in this thread

had to lol at neil clough's 'about' page:

I now have over 15 years experience in business working for different companies predominately in the leisure industry.

ultimate in cv-padding nothingyness, basically saying he didn't have work at all until he was 17, and 'in business' could mean 'local video shop'. his whole blurb reads how he speaks too, that tinfoil-chewing pleading neediness combined with unpleasant aggression that so many pricks thrive on

also odd how luisa is meant to have had a fling with jordan but shows little to no interest in him in the show, but is constantly on hyperflirt with neil

I really really hate Neil and his stupid fucking neckbeard. Twerps like Jordan are ten-a-penny in my work, and he'd probably do alright under the old format where he could work for Sugar pushing other chumps around. I'm basically now warming to Francesca purely because she hasn't really done anything to annoy me yet.

Francesca would normally be ahead, yes, except for one thing:

http://i1.cdnds.net/13/18/300x225/uktv-the-apprentice-2013-contestents-10.jpg http://i2.cdnds.net/10/39/reality_tv_the_apprentice_2010_stella_english.jpg

Yes, that hasn't gone unnoticed in our house.

IDGI?

She looks like Stella who won it a couple of years ago, who is not Lord Sugar's favourite ex-employee.

This is fairly interesting, I suppose. In January, Neckbeard registered a company called Oh My Pow.

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-COetZBZiNiQ/UdWqbW6o34I/AAAAAAAAHgw/1OhKqXRImZM/w659-h424-no/NC1.jpg

So, he doesn't win, and decides that his online estate agency is a shit idea but maybe the ready meal from the task is worth a shot?

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-sdhCuV4Ba78/UdWqbVTiuJI/AAAAAAAAHgs/mzI45JgIzdM/w832-h423-no/oh-my-pow.jpg

just watching this now. why oh why send jordan out shopping AGAIN when he took 4 hours and came back with £50 candles the first time?

(so you can shaft him in the boardroom obv)

Isn't Jordan's plan just (an aspect of) what a normal digital agency does?

just watching this now. why oh why send jordan out shopping AGAIN when he took 4 hours and came back with £50 candles the first time?

Was I the only person who went "Podgy the Bear and Jasper...."

(he forgot the matches. And the buns)

I am so glad someone screengrabbed this, as tiny wee Jordan just standing on the end looking tiny is the greatest thing ever. Do we think he has a booster seat in the boardroom?

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j11/NotPatrick/Apprentice%202013/NewPicture71_zpsffa6a4af.png

Was Jordan coughing or gagging in the boardroom this week? I just can't decide.

I got the feeling he was trying to disguise the fact that he was starting to cry.

"you are a parasite this interview is terminated" is next level brutality from that one guy
Really hope this is something along the lines of "Jordan you are a parasite for basically trying to hire out your programmer mate(s) while you take a cut of the money for doing sod all."

― Meine Damen und Herren, ein grosse sh*tstorm! (snoball), Thursday, 4 July 2013 10:02 (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In fact, more than *hope*, I'd say that's the only scenario where that comment would be 'acceptable'...

― Mark G, Thursday, July 4, 2013 11:53 AM (6 days ago)

KA-BOOM!

I've been buying dill this week and I keep giggling to myself thinking 'are you hungry for this dill?'

Jordan still full of shit and unrepentant on YF.

Yeah, Jordan is an awful person. No real surprises there, other than Francesca being stupid enough to make shit up on her business proposal. I genuinely can't call it now.

Also, YF has turned into "who can wedge themself furthest up Neil's arse".

Well, obviously after the interviews it was clear the girls were the three choices.

I did call the doctor surgery as the finalists, did think the cupcakes might not make it through, only would dance studios be the one to take the place?

Just catching up with YF right now, but why is self-belief such a wonderful thing in this process? What happens when you are wrong? Carry on anyway?

Neil was so bizarre. Something he'd supposedly researched for a year yet couldn't present any actual fact or reason or argument as to why everyone was wrong, just that 'i believe i'm right'. Like a little kid or something. I can't imagine actually being in a conversation with someone doing that?

it was his self-belief, unwillingness to abandon a bad idea that got him fired. that said, if he had trashed something he'd been working on for a year for another idea, i can't see that going down well either.

Its called having a contingency plan. Some people call it Plan B, some other laugh and reach for a CD album..

I found Neil's back story fascinating and sad. I knew his dad had died and that gave him his drive but I didn't realise his dad was bitterly disappointed in him for not becoming a pro footballer. Then when Neil said he didn't take a single day off after the death because that would be "weak", it started to seem fucked up. So it kind of made sense that his self-belief would have this manic, unyielding, almost magical thinking quality. Unresolved issues with a hard-driving father mixed with years of self-help/elimination show rhetoric about the power of drive and self-belief creates this character who's seriously impressive in many ways but utterly delusional in others. And Sugar's Godfather-like disappointment in him sealed it. I found the whole thing incredibly dramatic and revealing.

But obviously the highlight was Claude demolishing Jordan. I half-expected Jordan to be led out the back of the building and shot in the head after that.

Lead out the back and given a dubstep edited beating.

Did the "You're a parasite" comment get aired this episode, btw?

In the main programme it did, but then when the scene was re-capped in YF it was edited out.

Ah, I must have missed it, will be seeing it again, probably, later.

Leah's business is a bit ethically troubling but tbh Luisa is so evil that I'd want Leah to win even if her business proposal involved harvesting organs from orphans.

Eugh, both finalists just come across as horrible people, and now I don't care who wins :(

i want luisa to win. she's just so brazenly awful it's brilliant <3

this seems like the first year where they've not made an attempt to have a 'goodie' in the final - the fact that luisa is even in there, along with the constant "neil you're an incredible man" patter, makes the whole thing seem like a pr campaign to promote dim-witted evil in business.

DL, that's a fascinating point about neil's dad etc. goes partway to explain why he's so ruthless and dumbly singleminded. the whole 'new sugar daddy rejects you ALSO' is some harrowing shit, though i still can't bring myself to feel any sympathy for a man so humourless, so sly, so dismissive of everyone else's feelings. tenner says he undergoes a massive meltdown next time he gets sacked.

as for a winner, they're both appalling people so i don't really care but the way luisa treats people is revolting so it'll have to be leah.

Yeah, I was worried that Neil might crack in the boardroom and accidentally call Sugar dad.

Business and Personal shit shouldn't be mixed, therefore neck beard just comes across as a massive emotional fuck up.

jordan's business plan aside (and i'm surprised by quite how brazenly freeloading it is) i warmed to the guy over the series, was never unlikeable or cruel to the other candidates. but that business idea, jeez. not much different from how a lot of scumbags make their money these days, (hi buy2let folks!) but still.

'Why I Fired Them' on BBC1 at 10:35PM.

Here we go...

I've been buying dill this week and I keep giggling to myself thinking 'are you hungry for this dill?'

― kinder, Wednesday, July 10, 2013 10:00 PM (1 week ago)

lol

This is like the bit in the Mission Impossible TV series where Jim Phelps looks through the personnel files and selects who's going to do the mission.

Luisa's team: lemonface, neckbeard, useless guy, posh useless guy
Leah's team: terrible ideas guy, run with terrible ideas guy, contestant Leah beat into third place, early bath from episode 4