I'm drunk!

Which probably doesn't really have anything to do with it but I get drunk fast and cheap which considering the fact that I hate how my life turned out and want to stay insensible as much as possible is kiiiinda awesome

Last night I was supposed to hang out with old friends and go see New Order, my plan was to get drunk too. I haven't been drunk in a while and that was the perfect opportunity. Doesn't take much to get drunk at this point either...2-3 drinks?

just called my local 7-11: http://www.hours-locations.com/7-11/mi/ann-arbor/

to make sure they sell alcohol at 7:00am, on sunday mornings. fuck, wasn't gonna walk there if they didn't. i might pass out before i get there, or, on the Diag. but, but, i know i've done more to tarnish the name of my school than the unabomber even has, but, but, i basically just want to continue drinking more than i need to with the innocence mission. and pass out, with the "befriended" album. is that so wrong? hell. this is the last time. i have papers to write. they won't write themselves... except, everything has proven itself to be a fucking joke, to me. those papers WILL basically write themselves. i'm an alcoholic, which is hard. i only do it because everything else is fucking easy.

nothing is easy. life is hard. didn't mean to boast. alcohol just makes things faster, and rockier. i just want this to end. it's fine. i'll get the A, as usual. i hate this lifestyle. so long.

"do you want to do this?" i ask myself. if it isn't a want, then it's a need. if it isn't a need, then it's a want.

it isn't easy, you know. i wish i knew what to do. i wish i had someone.

i mean, i know what to do. i just wish that, my little brain could convince itself of the right answer. it's so fucking easy. every good and bad decision that i make. everything is easy. it's easy to walk, talk, hand in papers that i knew i could have done better on, kiss-up to professors, apply to grad school. and, then what? then fucking what? i love learning and pursuing knowledge and sharing it, but i want to die. i want to die. everything is useless and i want to die. i'm just trying to figure out why i keep going, or why does anyone. why does anyone?

i know that i'm unhappy this way. here's to more liquor and another 20 hour sleep/20 hours of studying the moment i awake.

people go on because they need to, and so do i.

i take pleasures in simple things. i do. that's why i'm here. for stupid music. if i die, the sundays and innocence mission and area and cardigans might not be there, in dead oblivion. i live for art and literature and music. goodnight. i wish god would just let me sleep this time.

that was a long joke. i'm calling my mum. goodnight.

http://www.salon.com/2013/07/18/u_m_oks_in_state_tuition_for_immigrant_students/

yesssssssssssssssssss

jesus christ. i thought i would, just, you know, listen to THIS SONG:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqdWTeXWvOg

and, for some reason, it just made me think of entirely gay frottage.

please, don't make me bow. don't make a spectacle of me.

kind of think that this mortal coil could have done superior justice to "true colors". fuck the byrds! god, 'blood' sucks. i want to say it, fucking hell, 'blood' is awful. but, damn, those first two albums are life-affirming. what the fuck happened, ivo?

F&G is my second favorite album, Tears is my fourth. But, dammnit Ivo, what happened on 'Blood'? it's like you chose to become the Gerry Ford of Goth, or something.

listening to fuck b*ttons

it's making me sleepy

Im at hot peanuts cold beer in williamsburg reading edmund wilson bc my plans bailed on me. If anyones nearby i'm the one reading edmund wilson

*cold beer hot peanuts

If a brooklyn ilxor stops by here i will buy them 2 beers

Wait are you telling us your nuts are hot

You're at an Arby's in Dallas aren't you

Got a 16 oz rum snow cone with extra cream, added real rum too it and enjoyed a sugar high and got a bit drunk. I am a light weight. Went grocery shopping with the family. Now I wish I could sleep or go dancing and drink some more.

Got a 16 oz rum cream with extra snow, enjoyed a drunk and went grocery drink. Now I wish I am a lightweight, could sleep, drink more.

man, I hope Martin caught that on tape for the biopic

Ha! Reminds me of a Burroughs cut-up....

...

Hey!

10 minute revive?

Idk im trying to sober up before i get back on the train

Im at bedford ave and north 7th st. But at heart im at an arbys in dallas

"Hey boys, arby's on me, our record just went aluminum"

If someone is willing to teleport me to an arbys location - any arbys location - i will buy them an arbys value meal

you can buy a whole roast at arby's you know

it can be done is all that I'm saying

Teleport me sufjan i'll hook u up with a roast

no arby's near me either ;_;

:'(

I need to make some changes in my life.

For now though if anyone is in penn station holla and i'll say something witty

there's an arby's very near me (Carrboro, NC) perhaps I will go investigate the drive-thru after I finish this 40

U shd probably drink 2 40s b4 hitting up the drive through. It isn't safe to drive if you are feeling at all nervous and malt liquor can help with that.

mebbe, we'll see. in the meantime, Operation Listen To Every Version of "Helter Skelter" On My Computer Back-to-Back proceeds apace

I didnt bring headphones for the train. I need to read italo calvino, wallace stevens, or edmund wilson once my phone dies. Fuc

iirc max is often in penn station, reading a book

Trains about to leave the station. If max is here speak now or regret it for the rest of your life

read the Stevens, duh—he'll make u smarter & happier & maybe even less drunk (if yr drunk)

Wallace "Surfin'" Stevens

The stevens book is essays though, not poems

if on a winter's night a tweeship

i think i got it. treeface and waterface are the same person. or a comedy duo with treeface as the straightman and waterface as the "funny" one

We are not the same fuckng person Treeship and markers are the same person

As waterface's father, I can attest that he is not Treeship.

waterface, i love you in the sense that i love all people, but i had a good thing going here until you showed up and i became known as a meme/negative image of you.

jk i don't care

or maybe i do care. or maybe not.