I'm drunk!

i come here for pain. like i need anymore. everything gives me pain.

i wish my father was alive. i wish bimble was alive. i wish i was alive. i died inside years ago. i don't know what i'm doing. i wish i had enough money to make it better. everything is useless.

i hate myself, but i love my school. i'm so happy to be here, but i wish i was dead. take a lesson from me. most people can't actually do what i do. but, i do it every day. i don't know what anything means, anymore. i drink, and fall asleep, and then i want to drink more. i like studying here. i'm extremely good at it, for fuck's sake. upenn profs keep e-mailing me. i'll probably slum it at madison, for sake of convenience. i wish i could sleep forever. i wish my sister had ... a better brain and opportunities. if she's retarded, then call her that. i never wanted to leave her behind. i wish she could go to college. she never can. i never wanted to pass her. i hate myself. i hate god. i don't understand it. i don't understand why god made me or my sister this way. i hate god. i want things to be fair. i just want to know that my sister will survive, if i die. i'm just, going to drink myself to death. and, this is a joke, it can't last much longer. if i hit 30, then, jesus christ. no one expects that. i just want to be able to sleep and know that my sister is ok. i hate god.

what do you drink?

I would like to read your paper but that's way off, guess I should start using slsk again. Anyways, I finished some cool stuff today too and I'm way too nostalgic about the ride with the best friend that never took off, virtual life got in the way. Difficult to talk about this irl and you should not do it online.

I like this song right now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdvOf06pIGQ

This night belongs to Germany.

There is this thing called the social artwork. Later, maybe.

So I'm drunk. And I've spent so many of my last several weekends working I've forgotten how to party. (Assuming I ever DID know.) Bleah.

BUENO DIA

I have basically spent this weekend drinking and watching documentaries

i am continuing now in that vein

there was the one about the psychology of batman and the one about snoop lion's reggae album and i just finished a 3 hour thing about the history of house and a bunch of cyberpunky short films

ay.

slept about 2 hours last night, so a couple hours into my work day i convincingly got myself sent home and i've just been trying to reubuild energy all day

beers now possibly not helping

not drunk, but drinking. my bf just took our new cat to the emergency vet. new cat was sobbing when we put her in the carrier. that earns me a bourbon and ginger beer.

i couldn't pick the clump of bagged ice apart, so i'm using a tj's caribbean fruit floe to chill the drink.

oh poor kitty

i got an A. sadly, i also got drunk. i had a cold, so, said fuck it. this clears my nose up, and also, my brain. my shitty british history paper earned an A. i began drinking at 2. everything is so dumb.

omg. SNSD is next level. i feel like a kid* again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=U7mPqycQ0tQ

*i don't like it when cuteness and sexiness is combined, because that is infantile, and perverted. i like to turn off my screen, and rock/and or exercise to this--because the song is f-ing great. it's like, a personal breakthrough for me. it makes me happier than HEAVENLY does.

i had darraghmac confused with carne asda. darraghmac is cool and nice. and smart and funny. carne asda was a jerk to me six months ago, for absolutely no reason*. i said generic mean things to darr, for the sake of attacking whom i confused him with. as if it matters, now. anyway...

*will source if necessary, but drunk.

let's talk about paramore and shit. or, early 4ad. or, snsd. or, mercyful fate. or, richard d. james. or, fuck. i don't know. i like everything. let's be friends.

do you know what. i like boring shit. i like watching the show, "friends" too. my dad came over the other day. we talked about how bad the water pressure was, and how the city needs to do something about it, and about the weathered roof. it was kind of great. ah, it's gentle, being 30.

my dad is dead. i make things up every day. i am a bastard. i have no friends. i have no money. i have not smiled in eight years. my favorite song is "asleep" by the smiths. i look down on failures that attempted suicide without actually achieving it. i am drunk a lot. i am going to go smoke a cigarette. i'm normal, so don't fuck with me. i like girls' generation and icona pop just like everyone else. i'm just extra sad.

Hey I only got on you for fucking up the wrong thread. You're all good in here. This is for drunk people have at it

ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

carne asda. it really means a lot to me that you said that. ummmmmm. the thing is, that, i swear that i was posting in a drunk thread on the NOIZE board, in which, you were mean to me.

BUT BUT BUT. well, perhaps i did fuck up the wrong thread. i could swear it was a noize drunk thread?

it doesn't matter. i'm extremely happy that you said that, carne asda. i really, really, really, am.

now, i can die. my ghost can float around angell hall stairways, and above the lake in alpena, michigan. my soul is free.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0d/Brown_lady.jpg

thank you for letting me pass. i'm smiling and white and blue. my resting place is only across the street. thank you. now, i am dead.

[i am entirely bombed, and do not know why i'm doing this]

i wish bimble was here.

suicide pact.

hey. hey. wanna see mu fucking grades. i love yu, carne.

i go to the u-m, i get straight a-s. i drinnkk so much. i'm not supposed to be here. ilx is like harvard. hipinion is like REED.

please write me a rec for reed. put me there.

i'm not supposed to be here. I HATE MY CLASSMATESS. these motherfuckers. they wear baggy jean and look at their fucking phones, in class.

why?

Hey bs we're ok me n you cos

A im also drunk

B i dislike ilx beef

well, it's the question of the ages.

let's die, now.

darragh. I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT.

did you read what i said up there? i know that i'm an idiot. i only post when i'm drunk. oh, my god. do you understand that the hateful things i said at you were extremely generic??? i like you, and you make me laugh on ilm, and even ile, all the time.

It is a privilege to make ilxors happy in any circumstance imo

Ps it has been doublessince idk five hoiras ago

anywty back to threas subect

Thurs night out with boys and it got kinda outta cobtrol hi all

how did it get out of control?

One hguy says remember we usef to order doubles lol and we all sai lol 90s and then we did

say HO

we usef to order doubles lol and we all sai lol 90s and then we did

so otm it should go in the faq

Had a bottle of this:

http://beeradvocate.com/im/beers/84331.jpg

And I'm feeling...just fine.

ice cream and beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer

just had a post-work drink; feeling better. my bf ran out to pick up some hawaiian-japanese food from the cool kitschy place down the street.

how is josie?

still slightly out of sorts but she'll be OK.

ayo i'm having a dinner party this weekend and i wanna know what beer i should buy from bevmo. i'll prob get the wine from tj's.

this sounds good

http://www.bevmo.com/Shop/ProductDetail.aspx/Beer/Craft-Brew/Deschutes-Brewery/Deschutes-Twilight-Summer-Ale/_/R-4-13889

sorry, my answer is by definition iron city

glad josie's ok

No of possible suicide attempters conversed with pn way homw- 1

Brief chst, satisfied neither party, i moved on. idk. next person i met had already called cops. doubt tbh they're more persuasive than even drunkeb me but hey

if you were suitably entertaining (and i have faith in ye) i'd probably hold off

Family party beers drunk fyi

Dad's side, ie repressed successful bunch

Tues night was other side, voltaile (tokk five mins to think or that word) accusatory fights every three sentences type

Vastly prefer tuesday approach tbh

Hi

i forgot to tell my partygoers last night that there was beer in the fridge in addition to the wine and liquor that was out on the table. now i have two six packs of beer taking up room in my fridge: OH NOES PLS ADVISE ETC.

nd: buffalo bill's orange blossom cream ale. it's good! i don't usually go for fruity beers but this one is more aromatic, less cloying.

mmhmm