Real England

Get this fucking Scottish shit off this thread.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 31 July 2013 12:07 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^ real English

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51czgLpJn2L._SL500_AA280_.jpg

We're Northern Uproar, we're dead real we are

need the full size to appreciate the photoshop work

http://static.flavors.me/dynamic_images/background/5ea0577840074063846e95ccfe004887

Funnily enough, you know, given the state of culture in the city depicted on that album sleeve, it wouldn't be so out of place if those banners on poles actually did just say 'Northern Uproar'

the famous "purple aki" (idk about this nickname) is in the news again:

Akinwale Arobieke, 52, approached well-built men in Manchester city centre, Trafford and Bolton and touched their arms or shoulders, prosecutors allege... He was jailed in 2003 for 15 charges of sexual harassment and on his release he was given a Sexual Offences Prevention Order (SOPO). It bans him from certain activities, including feeling a person's muscles or getting them to carry out 'squats' in public

“Mr Arobieke has had, and continues to have, an interest in bodybuilding.

“His interest extends beyond that which is legitimate and manifests itself in a way that we say is criminal.”

iirc he went to prison for manslaughter after someone ran away from him onto a trainline & was electrocuted

thats definitely crossing the line into transgressive bodybuilding

theres something very northern or provincial about him, he seems to have a criminal and folkloric reputation over a large metropolitan area

yet i just cant imagine there being a lol purple aki equivalent in north london, he would simply be demonized but without any of the meta stuff

and an east london equivalent would probably have been killed by now

he is a living bit of folklore; i first heard about him in a pub & the way the story was told I didn't really expect it to be real, felt v strange to see it confirmed. photoshopping him into pics has become a bit of a meme in certain corners of the Northern Internet (tm)

What is the Northern Internet

Collins died for it, doff yr caps

garu g

He proceeded to the promenade above the club and relieved himself on the bouncers who chased after him until he was cornered in a nearby pizza parlour, where he was heard shouting "Help! Help!" Securing him in an arm-lock, they hauled him back to the club and called police, the reports concluded.

http://i.imgur.com/dLysS3v.png

He proceeded to the promenade above the club and relieved himself on the bouncers who chased after him until he was cornered in a nearby pizza parlour, where he was heard shouting "Help! Help!" Securing him in an arm-lock, they hauled him back to the club and called police, the reports concluded.

far cry from all the talk about bowling in "good areas". bizarrely/hilariously out of his public character.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/92/MC_Party.jpg

lol my frontal lobe started thrashing about like a drunk thing at that photo.

there are some other choice photos by the same contributor on wikipedia scattered around various monday club related articles

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:WACL_Delegates.jpg

alas i'm not sure how to get a complete list

http://www.esherwalton.com/

the entire site, really.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dave_sinclair_liverpool_photos/3232893730/sizes/l/in/photostream/

http://www.wiganworld.co.uk/album/1/en35hy8x.jpg

http://www.soultsretailview.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/woolworths_bhs_hartlepool_graham_soult2.jpg

http://s0.geograph.org.uk/photos/56/84/568459_2e6f08f8.jpg

http://v4.sportnetwork.net/mainadmin/img/4841130867008.jpg

http://s0.geograph.org.uk/geophotos/02/23/01/2230182_0ea654b0.jpg

Oh come on. That last one isn't Real England. It just isn't representative of the country. I know this thread has its tongue firmly in its cheek, but no. Too far. It is Liverpool, I guess? Derby?

Loved the old Tory pics above though.

last pic looks a lot like a Manchester street i've visited

Just found on Twitter. I think we have a winner.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BME6U7eCEAAvsf6.jpg:large

Haha yeah I came here to post that. Bonus realness points for it actually being in Stoke at 5am.

A useful indicator of realness is the bar named after its home postcode. Stoke has a strip club provocatively branded as ST1.

what is stoke actually like irl

my kwowledge of stoke = amalgamation of six or seven lil towns from, football team, high level of support for bnp

i need an editor

I haven't really spent enough time there to say. I was sick in the Wetherspoons while eating breakfast though. I think it is so ~nothing~ it eludes any real interpretation. The city university is Keele, full of nondescript 60s modernism. There's nothing to say about any of it.

so is ST1 meant to = STI?

nice

oh yeah keele

a girl who went there was talking to me about her time at university and eventually i realized i had absolutely no idea where keele was

Keele is a university and an M6 service station and nothing else. It's weird.

The thing with ST1/STI is that surely it can't be deliberate, but then how could nobody have noticed during the early branding stages.

maybe they are still in the std or vd paradigms

no nightclub called vd, closest is the velvet dog in cleveland

Keele is far enough from Stoke to be Not Stoke but does represent its own corner of Lucky Jimland

Private eye fitted GPS tracker to off-sick call centre worker mum's car

Almost immediately, the fire service employed a private investigator to spy on her after her bosses suspected that she was working full time running a business from her hobby of balloon making.

If only it was meth-making

Is there an English equivalent to DIY meth labs?

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/818727/thumbs/o-GREAT-BRITISH-BAKE-OFF-570.jpg?7

^you may have a point, there...

the realest suburban house would be one recently reclaimed by an absentee buy-to-let landlord after a vietnamese grow-op has fled, nothing but soiled carpets, walls hacked apart to bypass the mains and a damp ganja smell that will never disappear

― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Thursday, 18 October 2012 00:35 (9 months ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BR817dNCIAETdVm.jpg