Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

lead, manager, owner, etc... your workplace sounds like the job title olympics.

overuse of jargon/focus on processes is ruining the flow of this thread imo, let's keep it snappy ppl

― Dr Peter Who? (darraghmac)

I considered putting this on the 'tell someone they're a cockfarmer thread', but at the moment this is more incompetence than cockfarmery.
Co-worker #3: this morning you got up in front of a roomful of already pissed off angry people, and proceeded to deliver the most piss-poor presentation I've seen in a while. During which you said "I don't like my job". Which means that you're not any good at your job. A stick I will beat you with should the opportunity come up at our meeting tomorrow.

suicide by cop?

your fruit teas, ready meals and empty yoghurt pots are making me feel nauseous. also for the last fucking time I do not like fucking SWEETIES. Jesus.

also, you, stop fucking BLETHERING all the time.

thx

I have a new supervisor, and in addition to some larger issues that have occurred, he has some really annoying little habits. He keeps touching my computer screen -he tries to point stuff out by putting his finger on it so I can't see it and the idiocy of that is annoying but just having him there touching my monitor is even more annoying.
He also never says "No" it's always "no no no no no"
and he licks his fingers before touching the paper you just handed him and would have wanted back before he put his disgusting saliva-fingers on it.

He keeps touching my computer screen

no no no no no

One of my coworkers, who is neither stupid nor annoying but generally quite lovely just fyi, pushes her glasses up on her face by touching the lenses and I am very particular about my glasses being clean and hers are always smudged outrageously and it makes me batty.

I could make you a list of people I've/we've known who do that. It drives me nuts, along w/ the resulting haze on the lenses that they don't have the good sense to find INTOLERABLE.

My problem with people who are OK with their filthy glasses is mostly about becoming fixated how they can be OK with it. I just want to dissect their minds, which are obviously exceptional.

He also never says "No" it's always "no no no no no"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxRX6LXDpWs

my immediate workgroup is pretty awesome except when, on the rare occasion, they talk about non-work stuff that is about health or food trends

highlights of the day: paleo diet being pronounced "pah-lay-oh" (this is wrong, isn't it?)
ideas about special diets having magical effects

bizarre hfcs musings

i enjoy when my office-mates laugh about a co-worker with mental health problems, makes me feel like i must be alright cos they're sure i'll join in

My problem with people who are OK with their filthy glasses is mostly about becoming fixated how they can be OK with it. I just want to dissect their minds, which are obviously exceptional.

― disgruntled punter (Je55e), Thursday, September 12, 2013 7:04 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There is an ILXor who is so terrible about this. You may have seen me actually clean his glasses for him with one of the zillions of microfiber glasses cleaning cloths that I seem to have on hand at all times.

I know the one. He's the top entry on my .xls of people who don't notice irritants.

lol

Bless his heart.

hahaha

One of the reasons I prefer wearing my contacts instead of glasses is the cleaning problem. Contacts get cleaned every time I blink; glasses seem constantly smudged EVEN WHEN I JUST CLEANED THEM A SECOND AGO wtf.

Never realised how horrifically greasy my face must be until I started wearing glasses--grease seems to slowly slide out onto eyelashes, which are just long enough to paint inside of lenses with it throughout the course of the day. i am disgusted with myself.

my face feels 3 degrees hotter when I wear glasses.

xp: James, could it be that your glasses are poorly fitted? I've worn glasses most of my life and never experienced this until my second to last pair of glasses, which were hastily tried on in a Kaiser Permanente office. I went for about a year, wondering if something was wrong with me that had caused this change. Then someone told me my glasses were probably poorly fitted. I haven't had a chance to get back to the eye doctor for a new pair, but I switched back to an old pair and they both fit better and the oily discharge problem went away.

I've had the eyelash grease problem since I first started wearing glasses in 1986. Curse these glorious long greasy lashes.

Gah between screen-touching and glasses-smudging you would all hate me :(

btw one doesnt notice the smudges if one has a fading prescription so the smudges just sort of blend in with the general "cant really see too good" sitch.

this is my imitation of a convo I had with a colleague yesterday:

Goofus: Should I invite Mortimer and Angus to the meeting?
Me: No, they're the wrong people. You need either Simon, Thelonius, or Bartelby.
Goofus: Whoa, that's a lot of names. You sure it isn't Mortimer or Angus?
Me: Do you need someone who does <thing> or <thang>?
Goofus: Both. Basically someone who does <something that isn't "thing" or "thang">
Me: Well, Mortimer and Angus don't do that. Hold up, let me ask whom of Simon, Thelonius, or Bartelby is the one you need to invite.
Goofus: Nevermind. I found time open on the calendar for Mortimer and Angus so I invited them. You can forward to whomever else.

WHAT IS WRONG WIT HYOU

lol

James, could it be that your glasses are poorly fitted?

Hmm, this had not even occurred to me. I need to get some new glasses soon anyway, will try and rectify this problem.

at least 3 months ago...

Me: hey, seeing as we're migrating and merging all these data services of [ourcompany] to [yourcompany that took over ourcompany], wont they start billing on your accounts? Wont that mean I can no longer see them on ours, and check the bills? Are your teams aware of this?
Bossperson: thats not for worrying about right now lets table that for later.

wibbly wobbly fast forward to today...
Newcompany accounts lady: Argh! Freaking out here! Where the hell did all these new data services appear from on our invoices! Who hasnt been updating the spreadsheet WTFOMG! Help!
My teamleader: errr... Trayce, are these from your company's side?
Me: why, yes they are, just as I predicted would be the case! At least you know now
MyTL: Oh, well Accountslady is refusing to pay these invoices til this is squared away, can you update her spreadsheet with $BIGNUMLIST asap today? Thanks.
Me: mutter, grumble, could have done this slowly months ago instead of ALL AT ONCE NOW *kills self*

Boy do I love when we spend weeks putting a plan together, sharing it with our client, getting it all ready to go, and then finding out that our project manager agreed to something completely different behind the scenes without talking to me, assuming that our plan would work with what he wanted (it won't).

took me ten minutes to reword my email from "FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" to something business friendly.

i wish there was one day a year where you could respond to the shittiest emails with full rage face

I wish I could build a custom See 'n Say toy with pics of my least favorite co-workers and send them each their own, so they can pull the string and hear the stupid shit they say daily.

also one out of ten will be armed with an active grenade.

Xpost maybe that's where the idea of toe minutes hate came from in 1984

Tooooo

eh
so i was mini-promoted (acting basis kinda thing, in a department not likely to exist in another few weeks, but still) on wednesday. but complications arising from the fact that i'm on a permanent contract as opposed to temp (95% staff here are agency) means that the boss called me in on thursday to rescind the title and the bucks after HR raised hell.
i'm better off in that the work is supervisory and generally better (experience, cv boost, off the phones and away from braying mouths) but jeez i kinda wish he'd checked his facts before he told me i was getting a raise.
anyway.
― Randy Carol (darraghmac), Saturday, 8 September 2012 09:38 (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Theyre putting me forward for this again, even tho nothing has changed from hr pov. I mean i appreciate the effort guys but rly buy me a pint or something else you can mske happen eh

Have you been doing the actual job in the meantime, just without the $$$? (Could not find euro symbol in keyboard options)

Yep

had literally almost this exact thing happen me recently.

literally almost this exact thing

Like a cryptic clue, really

Just moved to a new role within the place I've been working in for four years so have a new line manager as a result. He is the slowest talking man I have ever met. I find it very difficult to deal with. He talks really slowly, slow-motion walks around the room while talking, takes everything weirdly seriously (a discussion about my lunchbreak on Friday led to a 25 minute chat in a 'confidential' room about the 'historical and political context and implications of the receptionist lunch break saga') asks the most redundant questions (there is currently a deflated bouncy castle in the reception area that arrived for a function on friday. he's just come in and asked "did we have the bouncy castle for the weekend?") etc. It's bizarre. I cannot explain just how slow communication with him is.

"a 25 minute chat in a 'confidential' room about the 'historical and political context and implications of the receptionist lunch break saga'"

irl lol

sounds awesome, but that could just be in the telling tbh

It was bizarre. I think I've caused serious tension among head office by asking to, y'know, actually be allowed to leave my desk for a cigarette, a cherry coke and a bag of quavers.

there is currently a deflated bouncy castle in the reception area that arrived for a function on friday

well it was actually due on thursday and it hasn't gotten over the diappointment yet, poor thing

You've let yourself down with that joke

stop i'm on the brinca quitting puns altogether

Oh wow, I haven't posted to or read this thread in age, but...

My day-job is as a temp sub-editor, and I've a couple of regular clients. I work in the offices, and I really enjoy most of the people I work with, and to be honest, it seems like a healthier way to exist than when I was just freelance writing from home all the time.

But at one of the places, I've had a stupid falling out with one of my colleagues. He's someone who I thought I got on with really well, we'd go off to lunch together all the time, had very similar interests and reference points, and very similar senses of humour.

But this week, he came back from a week off, in a really shitty mood, head down, headphones on, not talking. He's a moody guy at the best of times so I figured, fair enough, will give him a wide berth. But then I had to sub a piece of his work, without knowing it was his, and I had a factual query about a piece he'd written about a TV series (we work on inflight entertainment guides) that I couldn't clarify through researching the internet. So I asked if anyone in the office had seen the show, and if they could clarify the fact I was checking, because it was making the piece vague, and all of a sudden he erupted and was getting really belligerent and up in my face, like "why does it matter?" "why is it a problem?" "how does it affect the piece?", and all I could say was that, as a reader and as a sub it made the piece confusing, and that my job was to make pieces not confusing (the piece was actually riddled with mistakes and very clumsily written, but I didn't mention that).

Since then, there's been a real cloud in the office, and I really feel like "the temp" in a way I haven't felt for a long time. I'm sure it will all blow over at some point, but he's been a real dick about this, and I thought he was my friend. I'm really so hugely fucked off about this, and I'm sitting in this office right now and everyone's behaving like Nothing Happened, but this guy has been a real chump and it is bumming me out majorly and making me glad I'm working somewhere else next week.

Like, I essentially got chewed out for doing my job properly (and we almost lost a client last month thanks to a factual mistake in a piece of writing). It's really unfair and fucked.

could you drop him a mail and clear the air? that's what i would do. tho he may reject it, at least you'd feel you tried.