I don't understand it; my 5 year old could make that joke!
― Tetsu: The Inoue Man (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, 24 September 2013 17:40 (eleven years ago) link
I thought of a really really terrible joke and it goes thus:
why did the moroccan restaurant start only serving half portions?
just cous
― wins, Saturday, 28 September 2013 01:08 (eleven years ago) link
oh come on, that's great
― obi wankin' obi (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 28 September 2013 01:22 (eleven years ago) link
Q: What did Pink Floyd do after they wrote Wish You Were Here?A: Push Syd Barrett out the window
― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Wednesday, June 26, 2013 3:59 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
missed this, feeling this
― Lee Ranaldo's Putting Challenge (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 28 September 2013 08:37 (eleven years ago) link
"Hey, I heard that Columbia cancelled Steve Lukather's record deal. Isn't that awful? He played a pivotal role in the band.""In Toto?""Yeah, they cancelled the entire contract, not just certain clauses."
― Remember! The cormorant is a big brrd. It has got a long neck. (unregistered), Sunday, 29 September 2013 15:08 (ten years ago) link
nice
― how's life, Monday, 30 September 2013 01:12 (ten years ago) link
somehow the awkwardness of the punchline only makes it funnier
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Monday, 30 September 2013 01:22 (ten years ago) link
lol
― I Am the Cosimo Code (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 30 September 2013 01:25 (ten years ago) link
IRL LOL'd at unregistered's joke.
― JRN, Monday, 30 September 2013 02:30 (ten years ago) link
Q: What did the rappin' ship say when he docked safely?
A: "I'd just like to give a shout out to all my buoys!"
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 03:01 (ten years ago) link
I just got an email from Banana Republic advertising "Party Perfect Dresses." Shows what they know - I never go to parties!
― i wish i had a skateboard i could skate away on (Hurting 2), Thursday, 21 November 2013 16:53 (ten years ago) link
I was looking for something to masturbate to the other day, when suddenly I came upon this magazine
― i wish i had a skateboard i could skate away on (Hurting 2), Friday, 29 November 2013 02:02 (ten years ago) link
~*gRoAnS*~
― pplains, Friday, 29 November 2013 02:32 (ten years ago) link
exactly
― i wish i had a skateboard i could skate away on (Hurting 2), Friday, 29 November 2013 02:35 (ten years ago) link
No, that wasn't about you. I was just coming across this magazine I found.
― pplains, Friday, 29 November 2013 02:38 (ten years ago) link
Was it hard to come by?
― i wish i had a skateboard i could skate away on (Hurting 2), Friday, 29 November 2013 03:06 (ten years ago) link
come on guys
― kel's vintage port (electricsound), Friday, 29 November 2013 03:10 (ten years ago) link
that's the one
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 29 November 2013 03:14 (ten years ago) link
Come on electric
Do ra do ra do ah aye
― pplains, Friday, 29 November 2013 05:56 (ten years ago) link
What did the geometry pirate order from the pizzeria?
"Two pie, arrrrrr!"
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Monday, 9 December 2013 23:46 (ten years ago) link
Who is treeship's favourite singer?
Justin Timberlake!
― i am curious #yolo (wins), Friday, 13 December 2013 11:39 (ten years ago) link
whoa
― how's life, Friday, 13 December 2013 12:35 (ten years ago) link
leaf garrett
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 13 December 2013 12:36 (ten years ago) link
If a Minnehaha Falls in the forest...
― pplains, Friday, 13 December 2013 14:36 (ten years ago) link
Knock Knock.Who's there?The E Train.The E-Train wh--WE ARE DELAYED BECAUSE OF TRAIN TRAFFIC AHEAD OF US.
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 02:57 (ten years ago) link
So have you guys heard about the single malt scotch whiskey made entirely by Jews?
Glenepstien
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 22 December 2013 08:27 (ten years ago) link
Why did the man wear a frock and collar to the minimalist art center?
Because he thought they said he was going to be a deacon, not going to DIA Beacon!
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 15:57 (ten years ago) link
what did edward snowden say when he heard the nsa was defunding its data collection center?
yottabyte me!
― just (Matt P), Sunday, 19 January 2014 20:23 (ten years ago) link
Did you guys hear Björk's re-releasing video art versions of all her records? No, really! She brought her husband into the studio to cremaster the original tapes!
― queen bey backers (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 03:46 (ten years ago) link
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 03:52 (ten years ago) link
I hear Miley Cyrus is being sued by a company that makes foam appendages for sports fans. It's apparently a case of copyright infingerment.
― Spaghetti Sauce Shampoo (Moodles), Sunday, 26 January 2014 19:17 (ten years ago) link
Why was the bare-legged man kicked out of the grain field?
Because he was three wheats to the shin.
― Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:12 (ten years ago) link
What's the worst thing your dad could say to you as you're giving him a blow-job?
"I'm not Willie Nelson."
― the most important comma of all time (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:20 (ten years ago) link
haha, that's down-home homemade humor right there.
― pplains, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:24 (ten years ago) link
The other day a woman asked me if I felt "secure" about the size of my penis. And the truth was, I had never really considered it in depth. Although I had given it some thought in length and breadth.
― Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 12 February 2014 23:28 (ten years ago) link
i've been sharing wins' heinrich mann one far and wide. its p. great, but doesn't seem to have universal appeal
― eric banana (s.clover), Sunday, 16 February 2014 01:00 (ten years ago) link
I happen to think the Native Americans made the best camping shelters.
But that's just my Sioux tents.
― Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 February 2014 06:23 (ten years ago) link
*applause*
― ljubljana, Thursday, 20 February 2014 13:27 (ten years ago) link
Hey you know that comedian who exposed himself to me on the subway? He emailed me to tell me he was sorry.
I told him he had a funny way of showing it.
― Hongro4/4Ass (wins), Monday, 24 February 2014 17:56 (ten years ago) link
"we went camping in one of those mongolian tents. but it collapsed""a yurt?""no, we were uninjured"
― koogs, Thursday, 13 March 2014 21:45 (ten years ago) link
― queen bey backers (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, January 21, 2014 9:46 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
I laughed!
― espring (amateurist), Thursday, 13 March 2014 22:00 (ten years ago) link
that's a 1%er if I ever heard one though
koogs I wholly approve of that one
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 March 2014 02:40 (ten years ago) link
Why didn't the grim reaper have to try out his blade before he purchased it?
Because it was one-scythe-fits-all.
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 18 March 2014 18:54 (ten years ago) link
haha
― Drop soap, not bombs (Ste), Tuesday, 18 March 2014 21:24 (ten years ago) link
Did you hear about the construction worker who became a deconstruction worker?He's now working for De Man
― 1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Thursday, 20 March 2014 14:33 (ten years ago) link
What did the sausage say to the scrambled egg?
"That guy's toast."
― dinnerboat, Thursday, 20 March 2014 17:49 (ten years ago) link
That's great!
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, 21 March 2014 02:57 (ten years ago) link
Sorry:
Why did the black coffee dump his girlfriend?Because she was a flat white.
― dinnerboat, Friday, 21 March 2014 21:05 (ten years ago) link
Did you guys hear about the condor that signed with the Heat? He's taking his talons to Miami.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Monday, 28 April 2014 19:30 (ten years ago) link