Dear Morrissey . . .

The fuck?

http://www.stereogum.com/1589931/homosexual-relationship-edited-out-of-morrisseys-autobiography-in-the-u-s/news/

my friend at work is reading the UK version he ordered online and said the parts with the jake guy aren't really like super revealing or anything, just like...he's around when some story about crissy hynde happens and stuff, but nothing too revealing...he was confused as to why it would be taken out

Page after page of sniping rage
An English singe or an American tinge?

Irish balls English whinge?

The AmericaniZed spelling of words in this was weird, and annoying.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxford_spelling

I liked this bit:

http://distilleryimage1.ak.instagram.com/00d903be5e6711e3a58b0e76d35d513f_7.jpg

He was kinder about her when she died.

Well, there you go. Not enough salt in this world to take pinches of for the book.

By the way, for anyone interested, googling "a crisp packet would have caused more attention" in quotes leads you to an upload of the entire book on scribd.com.

Is it all in present tense/is all dialogue in italics/does he always use phrases like "i flick back"

Not gonna read it either way but curious as to the exact extent of bouncing back/I partridgeness here

"Luckily, I had the last laugh..."

The great thing about it is the intentionally funny bits are interspersed with unintentionally funny bits so I found the whole book hilarious.

a lot of it is in present tense but he sort of flits back and forth between that and past tense

it is v funny

It's not a good book book, but's it's a really terrific loo shelf book.

By contrast, that was a wonderful sentence.

xp soft, strong, and thoroughly absorbant

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxford_spelling

― Working Class Rejected Street Boot Brat (Noodle Vague), Friday, December 6, 2013 1:42 PM

It's not just that, it's dropping the u from words like colour, glamour etc. Just unexpected seeing it in a Penguin Classics book written by Morrissey, that's all. I mean, did he write it like this, or did Penguin change it? And why!?
But anyway.

So if you're in NYC on Thursday...

http://www.myfreeconcert.com/events/morrisseys-autobiography-book-signing

It's not just that, it's dropping the u from words like colour, glamour etc. Just unexpected seeing it in a Penguin Classics book written by Morrissey, that's all. I mean, did he write it like this, or did Penguin change it? And why!?

My guess (completely uninformed) is that he just typed this up in Word or whatever, with the default language set to US English. I can't imagine he knows how to change the setting, and he has a way with words and all, but he's always been pretty rough with the finer details of written and edited English. Apart from the US spellings, there are loads of things that would usually have been changed in an edit - the crazy tenses and parts that don't make sense, for example. I'm thinking the earlier dispute with Penguin was something like them saying, "We'll have to edit this shit," and him going, "My words must not be touched" till they backed down.

http://i.imgur.com/Y2qgaOF.png
http://i.imgur.com/uRkSzDO.png

You're just too busy
To see me
All around Union Square.

I took a walk
down Union Square
that fucker Morrissey
is never there

He'd better run run run run run etc.

"My guess (completely uninformed) is that he just typed this up in Word or whatever, with the default language set to US English"

I read somewhere that he'd written it in longhand, and the m/s was then scanned/OCR'd

chapter on his secret love of Mr SHankly in secret was removed by the freemasons - you didnt hear it here - davinichi code and more

Leonineo Davinichi

so far my most wtf sentence has been the one where he apparently contemplates procreating with some Iranian lady friend

He sang at the Nobel Prize concert yesterday in baggy grey trousers. Not as prestigious a gig as it sounds: James Blunt also performed.

Did he perform Baggy Trousers?

'Baggy Grey Trousers' should be the name of a Morrissey/Smiths cover band who do all the songs in the style of Madness.

{Suggs type voice}
Punctured bi-cy-cle
On a hi-ill-side
so desolate!
Will nature make a man of me yet? {horns: WAH WAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!}

Beligerent ghouls in all the schools
headmasters breaking all the rules
spineless bastards innnn the pubbbbbb...

What the hell? (Nice photo btw)

http://i.imgur.com/OFbeDTk.png

http://i.imgur.com/IDXAMIg.png

The websiteurl.com and the phone number might make it look like a hoax but I think Morrissey's just put a work-in-progress version of the poster on his website. The Tom Jones date is listed on his own website: http://www.tomjones.com/tour-dates/.

Sir Cliff Richard 'honoured' to support Morrissey

That's a great interview. I think I'd really like to see that show, if I'm honest.

All I can say is "Thank you Patrick, or Morrissey" - I'm not quite sure how to refer to him

"That old curmudgeon you're supporting"?

woah alright I'm not massively drunk reading all this

because

I'm sure this is all an elaborate troll on the posters at morrissey-solo and you gotta respect him for that if nothing else

Concert notifier website I use had this moz tom jones show listed at the LA coliseum which can hold about 80,000 people or more... Sports arena is across the way and seats way less.

as long as he doesnt snuggle up to bette midler

Morrissey playing Vegas, duetting with Celine Dion on a mash-up (Moz-up?) of 'There Is A Light That Will Never Go Out'/'My Heart Will Go On'.

"That old curmudgeon you're supporting"?

My favorite b-side.

lol

"And if a ten tonne truck, should crash into us, my heart will go oooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnn"

Mozz shoudl be supported by Billy Ocean

cliff richard interview:

Q. He also has very strict vegetarian rules surrounding the gigs - will you be going vegetarian for the day?

A. Certainly not. No, of course not. I like to think he might eat some meat when I arrive, but I wouldn't expect him to. So I don't think he'd expect me to be vegetarian. If I found he was offended by people eating meat then I won't eat it in front of him. But I'll have a chicken curry afterwards.

this is not going to end well...

"the stage must be free of chicken gizzards"

Morrissey with special guests Alice Cooper and Kristeen Young