LOLZ in the Conference Room; I'd Like to EXCELSIOR some of that

This is freaking even me out, and I'm waterface

― you are kind, I am (waterface), Monday, December 9, 2013 12:07 PM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah but yr no Tuomas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFujxTVbTzY

ttj

oic

np

In 4th grade I agonized about news stories on world hunger. It felt as though there was very little I could do besides pray earnestly. Then, one day on the trampoline, I had a terrible idea: we could make food for starving nations by repurposing a resource everyone threw away. I told my friends we were going to help the hungry by all of us saving our fingernail clippings to be ground into "fingernail flour," which would be shipped overseas. Naturally, they were disgusted and refused to go along. As years went by, I realized more and more reasons why this idea was terrible beyond it simply revolting everyone I shared it with.

― even the beatles had a coinstar machine in their living room (Crabbits), Tuesday, December 10, 2013

A+

Then, one day on the trampoline, I had a terrible idea

lol excellent

We're up all night trying to figure out if that's a man's ass or a woman's ass on the cover of Loverboy's Get Lucky...

― Maintenance Engineer of Foolhardiness (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 12 December 2013 00:10

voted tribe but i dont begrudge anyone voting dls at all

― 51 SBs on my dresser, yessir (deej), Monday, 9 March 2009 19:31 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah, the thing ppl are missing here is that it seems there is actually no wrong way to vote

― Wes HI DEREson (HI DERE), Monday, 9 March 2009 19:32 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YET THERE WILL BE A WINNER AND A LOSER

― iatee, Monday, 9 March 2009 19:39 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

THER COULD BE A TIE

― H3LP, Monday, 9 March 2009 19:40 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

IN THE EVENT OF A TIE BOTH GROUPS WILL BE INVITED TO ILM FOR A RAP BATTLE

― iatee, Monday, 9 March 2009 19:41 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

WHICHEVER ONE SHOWS UP, LOSES

― iatee, Monday, 9 March 2009 19:41 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Got to say I'm impressed that anyone could keep anything on this scale, with so many people involved, completely secret for the time it took to make it.

― Matt DC, Friday, December 13, 2013 9:14 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you crazy? this is BEYONCE

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, December 13, 2013 9:15 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well yeah but she ain't the gestapo... or is she?

You know maybe 9/11 was in inside job...

― tsrobodo, Friday, December 13, 2013 9:18 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I mean I wouldn't want to mess with an army of Beyonce lawyers either.

― Matt DC, Friday, December 13, 2013 9:38 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not really unique tho, the other members of Destiny's Child have released albums that no one ever talked about too

― musically, Friday, December 13, 2013 10:13 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cold

pick up your face, Kelly Rowland

guy: (laughs aloud)

office: *no one says anything*

guy: (laughs louder)

office: *for god's sake don't ask him what he's laughing at*

guy: HA! HA! THAT'S GOOD STUFF!

office: *crickets*

guy: (sigh)

― mookieproof, Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:17 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

― Victor Immature (WilliamC), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:24 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I said, HAHAHA!

― Victor Immature (WilliamC), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:25 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 7:30 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Miranda is a BBC television sitcom written by and starring English comedian Miranda Hart, which first aired on BBC Two on 9 November 2009. The situation comedy also features Sarah Hadland, Tom Ellis, Patricia Hodge, Sally Phillips, James Holmes and Bo Poraj. The series is based on Hart's semi-autobiographical writing, following a television pilot and the BBC Radio 2 comedy Miranda Hart's Joke Shop. It received positive comments from critics and Hart won the 2009 Royal Television Society award for comedy performance for her role in the first series.[1][2][3]

― Paraoxonases in Inflammation, Infection, and Toxicology (nakhchivan), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 7:33 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i also think, contrary to conspiracy theorists' beliefs, that dealey plaza would be a horrible place to carry out a planned assassination. oswald got p lucky.

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, December 13, 2013 6:02 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he was up all night

― giant faps are what you take, wanking on the moon (sic), Friday, December 13, 2013 6:04 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nice

any philosophy ilxors know of a feminist/trans/queer take on the private language argument?

― ogmor, Sunday, December 15, 2013 10:46 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark

Haha damn do i ever. Im all about that

― Hungry4Ass, Sunday, December 15, 2013 9:07 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and ass

― CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Sunday, December 15, 2013 9:08 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

always picture H4A as the kool-aid jug

better w o the contendo post impo

Excuse the typos, I'm on a chicken kindle

― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Wednesday, December 18, 2013 11:21 AM (3 minutes ago)

A FUCKIN kindle

― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Wednesday, December 18, 2013 11:21 AM (3 minutes ago)

a cluckin kindle

the kindles not paperwhite its chicken

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/04/40/00/00/0004400000189_500X500.jpg

youtube comments are hilarious

The guy looks like a cross between Tony Hawk and Andy Dick
― "Turkey In The Straw" coming from someplace in the clouds (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 18:44 (57 minutes ago) Permalink

Penn Dickhawk

― an enormous bolus of flatulence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 18:46 (55 minutes ago) Permalink

genuine tears-down-the-face lol at "chicken kindle"

you would've thought reading them books on the kindle would improve yourr spelling.

YOUR

chicken keyboard

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/199sol2ygiaotpng/ku-xlarge.png
i mean what the everliving fuck

― Strangers look on with a discernible, barely contained ‘wow’. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, December 19, 2013 10:55 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

I tried to zoom in on forks's screengrab and somehow made it the wallpaper on my phone D-:

― decomposable heroes of hipleprosy (wins), Thursday, December 19, 2013 11:05 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like the last part before she joins him for ~harmony~ is, guess i'll have a smoke, can i borrow your coat? I'm audi 5. during which he's like u could die also i will have blue balls quit holding out BABY ITS COLLLLLLLD OUUUUUUTSIIIIIIE

― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Tuesday, December 24, 2013 7:53 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wow the subway seemed so sad

― lag∞n, Saturday, 28 December 2013 20:32 (Yesterday) Permalink

she is a porno

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 28 December 2013 20:52 (Yesterday) Permalink

[edited for relevance]

I used to babysit these white twin babies and people used to stare at me hard wherever I went with them

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Saturday, January 4, 2014 7:36 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...

I am male tho

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Saturday, January 4, 2014 7:38 PM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I used to sing the song white wedding but say white babies instead when walking around w/ them so that could've been it

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Saturday, January 4, 2014 7:39 PM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...

Also sang white Xmas with the words white babies

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Saturday, January 4, 2014 7:41 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dying

lmao holy shit

It goes without saying I would never insult someone with genuine mental health issues by a) calling them batshit or b) associating them with Morrissey.

― Matt DC, Saturday, January 4, 2014 9:13 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

So much cheap daikon at the markets atm; anyone have any simple-ish uses? Might give kkakdugi a go though my track record w/pickles isn't the greatest.

― etc, Saturday, January 4, 2014 9:37 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Make pork bone soup with daikon slices

― 龜, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Whoops this is the veggie swag thread. Ban me for life

― 龜, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post

banh mi for life

― etc, Sunday, January 5,2014 8:21 PM Bookmark Flag Post

actually wait it shouldn't be truncated

--
So much cheap daikon at the markets atm; anyone have any simple-ish uses? Might give kkakdugi a go though my track record w/pickles isn't the greatest.

― etc, Saturday, January 4, 2014 9:37 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Pickled daikon is good in banh mi sandwiches.

― o. nate, Sunday, January 5, 2014 12:04 AM Bookmark Flag Post

... And that's literally it. I can't think of anything else to do with it. (I've barbecued it, which was okay-ish.)

― fields of salmon, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Make pork bone soup with daikon slices

― 龜, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Whoops this is the veggie swag thread. Ban me for life

― 龜, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post

banh mi for life

― etc, Sunday, January 5,2014 8:21 PM Bookmark Flag Post

everytime:

This thread makes me think of that situation guys sometimes run into, the one where a girl is giving you head but not going down to suck on your nuts even though you'd really like her to. So you sheepishly ask, "could you suck my balls?" hoping she will, and then she does, but all you can think about is the sound of your own voice asking "could you suck my balls?".

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, December 2, 2004 8:05 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark

tired banh mi/ban me pun is certainly NOT excelsior-worthy

^ grinch

That Bryan post remains amazing

nah otm xps

also reposts are disencouraged

also played-out morrissey zings

excelsioring has kinda sucked for a while mind u

the uh oh i'm having a fantasy posts were good tho, well done whoever excelsiored them (noodle vague)

disencouraged you say

what would really get this place cookin' is more lol police

Exactly how much clowning do we need to do before you stfu about what is or isn't funny, imago? I have time to kill at the RMV

dan is going to kill the dmv contact authorities

what would really get this place cookin' is more lol police

― lag∞n, Monday, January 6, 2014 1:30 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the lol police, they live inside of my thread

Exactly how much clowning do we need to do

booked time at the tattoo parlor to get this on my forearm as soon as I read it