God bless the goddamn Onion

Reverend Al Sharpton Takes Time Off From Holy Duties To Make TV Appearance

http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-fucking-dammit-youre-a-stupid-fucking-moron-wh,35305/

― |$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅| (gr8080), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 7:18 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^ close to the bone

― ljubljana, Thursday, February 20, 2014 1:41 AM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol yeah that felt a little too familiar over here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGonCxJrcs0

THEN SHE ATE IT LIKE BUGS BUNNY

http://www.theonion.com/articles/political-cartoonists-wife-finds-disturbing-nude-d,35402/

omfg iwo jima

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PbHo205M_U&list=PL4NL9i-Fu15iZLbSfrxZCpZfKchWr9Vna&feature=c4-overview-vl

"Robocop, a futuristic sci-fi thriller about a cyborg policeman, and, a remake of the classic 1924 film, 'The Robotic Police Officer'"

http://www.theonion.com/video/new-marijuana-study-says-everyone-knows-youre-high,35386/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cam-girl-has-ash-on-forehead,35448/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-only-20-minutes-until-introverted-man-gets,35507/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Default:1:Default&recirc=technology

little too close to home, this one

otm

there are no jokes, only truths

Obama Spends Afternoon In Garage Restoring Classic Drone

http://www.theonion.com/articles/mischievous-koch-brothers-trick-beautiful-woman-in,35581/

Apparently the fake Fred Phelps obituary, like the best Onion articles, fooled all kinds of idiots, including the Vice Mayor of Maricopa County, AZ who completely tripped over his own dick.

haaaaaaa

wow that story got really good

After mentioning he has “many, many” gay and lesbian friends, Farrell states he read the article with no prior knowledge of Phelps or The Onion. “If you read the article, it mentions nothing about him being anti military, which by the way, I support our troops 100 % and thank God every morning for the ones that put their lives and their families on the line for America,” Farrell writes. “All the article mentions is how this guy fought against Gay rights on a biblical platform that God set before us.”

Do you think people at the Onion have a potluck lunch to celebrate these wins?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-58-of-worlds-japanese-speakers-white-23year,35690/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/12-xtreme-slides-just-for-teens,35709/

w00t!

http://i.imgur.com/9OpUjuQ.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/articles/exit-from-apartment-delayed-20-seconds-to-avoid-pl,35765/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/tour-becoming-oneonone-between-guide-and-man-who-k,35759/

Yeah, that was pretty OTM, been on that tour mannnny times.

So otm

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

This one is too good, almost not funny

http://www.theonion.com/video/george-w-bush-debuts-new-paintings-of-dogs-friends,35799/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default

oh my god

dead. fucking. on.

onion at its best

http://www.theonion.com/articles/its-been-a-while-since-someone-wrote-a-hit-song-ab,35784/

best piece of music writing ever

George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere

http://www.theonion.com/video/george-w-bush-debuts-new-paintings-of-dogs-friends,35799/

Posted just above! It's a great one, though.

hah yeah, it's pretty amazing

http://www.theonion.com/articles/how-to-solve-a-rubiks-cube,35827/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Default:3:Default&recirc=mens-fashion#22

Here is is starting from the beginning and not from the last panel: http://www.theonion.com/articles/how-to-solve-a-rubiks-cube,35827/

whoops sorry

http://www.theonion.com/articles/activists-release-horrifying-video-showing-how-mea,35861/

perfect

Autopsy Determines Total Loser’s Corpse Contained No Traces Of Drugs, Alcohol

too real

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-hoping-people-notice-how-many-folding-chairs-h,35929/

i loled @ all the people tagging their friend Ashley in the fb comments

http://www.theonion.com/video/hurricane-ashley-expected-to-strike-several-bars-t,35951

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yeah i get that all the time now. their website has just gotten uglier and more money-getty and SEO-ish over the years

yes, it is very reminiscent of Estelle "Money" Getty

irl lol