Real England

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a would be school shooter using a crossbow wld be pretty english. i wonder if the english are more prone than other nationalities to getting obsessed w/ this sort of thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jsbp4w-4E68

which feels related to mb more universal shit like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjOIWVjwSBU

which has a thanatotic quality mb associated w/ ppl used to 6 hours of sunlight a day

ogmor, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 17:19 (ten years ago) link

no fairminded english yeoman would use a crossbow for their fantasy volkist massacre when they could probably find a dozen replica agincourt longbows on amazon markeplace

Thanks in anticipation of your opinions (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 17:27 (ten years ago) link

You guys have read We Need To Talk About Kevin, riiiight?

baked beings on toast (suzy), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 17:29 (ten years ago) link

tend to take a dim view of prosecuting these subnormal types for terrorist conspiracies when the weapons charges alone are serious enough

the proportion of american lunatics with pathological hatreds and weapons stockpiles who actualize their fantasies is mercifully low

Thanks in anticipation of your opinions (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 17:35 (ten years ago) link

xp no, but yeah.

longbow would unquestionably be the nationalistic choice but quite impractical, may as well use a sling

ogmor, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 18:29 (ten years ago) link

tend to take a dim view of prosecuting these subnormal types for terrorist conspiracies

yeah even associating this kind of thing with "terrorism" is a standing argument for reviewing anti-terrorism law

landschlubber (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 21:23 (ten years ago) link

Piggins makes me glad that Facebook had not penetrated so far into Real England when I was teen psycho

cardamon, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 22:12 (ten years ago) link

I mean I wasn't actually stock-piling weapons but people thought I was which in Real England is maybe sufficient for a Piggins

cardamon, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 22:12 (ten years ago) link

On Radio 2 today someone wrote in saying they used to think their dad's music was crap and now they listened to Radio 2 all the time and that listener received a badge

cardamon, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 22:13 (ten years ago) link

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/ca/Sheerness-on-Sea_railway_station_in_2008.jpg

No higher resolution available.
Sheerness-on-Sea_railway_station_in_2008.jpg ‎(640 × 480 pixels, file size: 74 KB, MIME type: image/jpeg)

You cannot interrupt his tea stirring because it is his holy trick (imago), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 22:54 (ten years ago) link

In July 2013 the island received some notoriety for an attack on a tour bus of Jewish boys by local youths who shouted epithets, and threw stones and eggs, telling the boys to "go back to where you came from!"[

You cannot interrupt his tea stirring because it is his holy trick (imago), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 22:56 (ten years ago) link

ILXcursion to Sheppey, stat

You cannot interrupt his tea stirring because it is his holy trick (imago), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 22:56 (ten years ago) link

i'm in

cardamon that sort of thing is fairly common, I remember one of my best mates' little brother trying to make a bomb w/ his pal in a cellar cos they were too into fight club, but iirc they were too shit at chemistry to come up w/ much. he was also an accomplished tuba player

ogmor, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 23:17 (ten years ago) link

Our school pyromaniac is now a pro cellist.

μ thant (seandalai), Thursday, 6 March 2014 00:48 (ten years ago) link

i tried mixing up some TNT with acid i pinched from the chemistry lab, used to do some good magnesium ribbon shows at playtime too

landschlubber (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 6 March 2014 07:05 (ten years ago) link

and fantasising about tommy-gunning down your entire school

as others have said - weapons charges fine, but come the fuck on, this is not terrorism.

someone at my school got suspended for blowing up a tree on the cross country route.

Fizzles, Thursday, 6 March 2014 12:17 (ten years ago) link

pro-style tip - start sentences in the middle of nowhere with "and".

Fizzles, Thursday, 6 March 2014 12:17 (ten years ago) link

Stockwell fire blamed on bird carrying lit cigarette
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-26464789

Richard Scroggs, who runs The Old Post Office Bakery in Landor Road, remarked: "It's crazy isn't it?

"Smokers. What can you say? I'm glad I gave up."

Bonus real points for having an excellent surname.

Angkor Waht (Neil S), Thursday, 6 March 2014 14:55 (ten years ago) link

he was also an accomplished tuba player

there's your launch system right there

eardrum buzz aldrin (NickB), Thursday, 6 March 2014 15:02 (ten years ago) link

THERE'S A FACKING PURPLE TINGE

landschlubber (Noodle Vague), Friday, 7 March 2014 07:49 (ten years ago) link

meanwhile BBC Fucking Breakfast has just discovered Minecraft videos

it's Levellin' Friday here in the boggy field that is AngloILX

landschlubber (Noodle Vague), Friday, 7 March 2014 07:53 (ten years ago) link

a colleague just found a pair of Maltesers knickers in a bag of old clothes, nearly fainted from the wave of realness

Nooye's Vagge (Noodle Vague), Friday, 7 March 2014 12:23 (ten years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xit0PLxng-E

tombola_kid_69, Tuesday, 11 March 2014 12:19 (ten years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpNvTtvzM8g

this doesn't feel so many steps from crossbows

first rule of franco club (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 11 March 2014 12:44 (ten years ago) link

that seems v uncharitable! this veitch guy seems familiar

ogmor, Tuesday, 11 March 2014 14:27 (ten years ago) link

misanthropic look-at-me-me-me cunt with possible ARMCHAIR PSYCHIATRIC DIAGNOSE REMOVED

first rule of franco club (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 11 March 2014 15:28 (ten years ago) link

attention-seeking & into that paranoid strand of anarchism but he's interested in people & genial, even w/ the police

ogmor, Tuesday, 11 March 2014 15:43 (ten years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD6A_Yjc_P0

soref, Tuesday, 11 March 2014 16:04 (ten years ago) link

INDIGENE

When people truly realise their own wonder and excellence, the forces of fascism, control, corruption, and hysteria start to fade. Until then, people are a bovine and reactionary bunch. Here at Indigene we are working on getting people to "get it"

soref, Tuesday, 11 March 2014 16:18 (ten years ago) link

crying laughing at that ice cream van video, superbly baffling

NI, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 05:05 (ten years ago) link

prick from lonely crazy human club video spends the bulk of that video chatting outside my home where i am right now, eerie stumbling across that here

NI, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 05:09 (ten years ago) link

*chatting shit

NI, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 05:13 (ten years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BihRaynCcAADpVG.jpg

predictive search results for '(county) is '

two bunny rabbits on mushrooms singing Proclaimers songs (onimo), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:29 (ten years ago) link

all the results for 'County Durham is ghetto' seem to be about Durham in North Carolina. predictive search gives me 'county durham in ireland'.

soref, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:41 (ten years ago) link

'Somerset is in what county' adoy

kinder, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:44 (ten years ago) link

'Berkshire is Undervalued' seems to be referring to stock in Berkshire Hathaway, disappointingly.

soref, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:46 (ten years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4r_a5adehs

soref, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:50 (ten years ago) link

East Riding of Yorkshire is the best, natch

first rule of franco club (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 18:00 (ten years ago) link

'Northumberland is Missing' is apparently and episode of Theodore Tugboat?
retweets are not endorsements re, the essex video, btw

soref, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 18:06 (ten years ago) link

I'm in Surrey, and Google search says 'Surrey is boring' - and I can't really argue.

an office job is as secure as a Weetabix padlock (snoball), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 19:32 (ten years ago) link

I don't really know where to put this, it was here or the Sleaford Mods thread, ha.

http://www.nottinghamshire.police.uk/youthzone/antisocial

emil.y, Thursday, 13 March 2014 17:30 (ten years ago) link

you're antisocial if you find yourself on a warm March afternoon hooning full beer cans from the sixth storey at passers-by, including a 7 year-old boy, and also including ILX poster 'imago'. never called the police before, hope they get sorted propah

You cannot interrupt his tea stirring because it is his holy trick (imago), Thursday, 13 March 2014 17:36 (ten years ago) link

If you want to steer clear of trouble, remember there are rules that say what you can do and where you can go.

These rules are called 'laws' and are there to keep you safe.

By understanding what you can and can't do, you'll know whether you or your friends are being antisocial.

Antisocial means what you are doing is upsetting somebody else.

Hanging around - Some people don't like children playing, standing in groups or sitting outside their houses. Often if they don't know who you are they will think you're up to no good and may report you to the police. Choose a better place to be with your friends such as at a park, at an organsied activity or at one of your own houses.

emil.y, Thursday, 13 March 2014 17:45 (ten years ago) link

I definitely remember the 'no hanging around' law coming into force. Ah, glory days.

emil.y, Thursday, 13 March 2014 17:46 (ten years ago) link

fucksake

it's not a million miles away from being clear & useful advice, but strays the wrong side of condescending pedantry with no moral case beyond 'we are the law, you're vermin'

You cannot interrupt his tea stirring because it is his holy trick (imago), Thursday, 13 March 2014 17:49 (ten years ago) link

Print off your very own colouring in picture to remind you of the antisocial rules. Be creative and have fun!

eardrum buzz aldrin (NickB), Thursday, 13 March 2014 17:49 (ten years ago) link

could easily be a thread for the bullshit adults say to children while giddy with getting to (try to) exert some (possibly imagined) authority

ogmor, Thursday, 13 March 2014 18:00 (ten years ago) link


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