Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

hahahahahaha holy shit

i don't know if that makes me want to never try that again or want to more now

Just to let you all know in advance that if anyone anonymously posts 10,000+ words of hate-filled bile describing in depth exactly how screwed and wrong a particular workplace is on this thread in the near future, it'll be me. Cheers.

Awesome! *gets popcorn*

I spent an hour loading reg card packets with little purple coupons for tonight's special at our restaurant.

My aspie coworker has removed them all to carefully trim the edges.

Her side of the desk is full of slivers of paper and stuff that needs to be filed and God love this girl but it's like working with a dumb tornado

(x-post to James Mitchell) I hope that, like me, you're posting under your real name. Every now and then this thread gives me the fear.

Arrrgh sales dude I know its your thing, and you're a nice guy, but do you have to chirp merrily into the phone at customers so LOUDLY at this early hour? You're hurting my damn head.

yrs, hungoverly,
Me.

You should just start faking an orgasm really loud. Hmm, maybe that'll actually get him speaking even louder. Hmm

Are you singing hymns?

She stopped to make a phone call and then started up again.

8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM 8:54 AM

Predecessor in my job, who makes me feel woefully inadequate, visiting DC and staying the weekend at my (used to be her) apartment. Can't think of anything in the world more awkward.

I'm actually extremely fond of my closest colleague, but I can tell when she's having a bad day because she heaves giant sighs every 7 minutes. SIGH do one thing. SIGH do another. SIGH walk to the printer. SIGH flop back into chair. And so on.

ahem, I do that I think...

ya, i'm guilty of that aswell.

i just did it.

I need to control my under-the-breath exasperated muttering at computer

i'm pretty sure you don't need to worry about your computer getting upset about it.

or... DO YOU?!

I sigh way too much. I get done with a big chunk of uploading or whatever and I just do one of those long Phewwws.

The guy who sits next to me was watching a Youtube link with the sound turned down to about 2. I hit "submit" on a big project and let loose with a big sigh. I then felt bad because the dude without looking at me cleared his throat and turned his volume all the way down.

Predecessor in my job, who makes me feel woefully inadequate, visiting DC and staying the weekend at my (used to be her) apartment. Can't think of anything in the world more awkward.

You really can't?

If I tried I fear I'd go into squirm meltdown.

I posted this on the Chicago thread, but it belongs here too:

So my boss just called myself and another guy into the conference room, because "something was wrong with the flat-screen" in there. He's complaining about how some channels look great, but others look like crap. He was switching between standard-def and hi-def channels. No matter how much the two of us tried to convince him that standard-def channels do look significantly worse on an HDTV, he wouldn't believe us. He insisted on having someone come in to look at the TV, so now he will be paying someone to tell him the exact same thing.

Hymn-singing woman above is proving to be valuable new coworker. This morning I heard her trying to strong-arm another coworker into attending her dance performance ("Oh no, no, I can't make it" "Oh well just let me know if you want to SEE ME DANCE!").

Just now, yelled out "SHOOT! I HATE TECHNOLOGY!"

Caps are hers.

When you use the last of the water in the jug on the dispenser, replace it. It really is very fucking simple.

those things look heavy

theyre pretty heavy

one time the new guy at work dropped one when putting it in the dispenser

he kept saying "oh shit...oh shit...oh shit" while water got everywhere

long story short dude was me

Was the new guy actually a woman named Abbott?

hahaha xpost

long story short dude was me

Been there. It's astonishing a) just how easily they break; b) just how much water they hold; c) just how many times people -- including at least one ILX0r -- can point and laugh and call you a dick while NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HELP during the time it takes for all the water to glug out all over the office floor.

ha what ilxor lold @ u

I've got it narrowed down to, er, one :-)

(thought of a second, decided he was too nice)

I'm working on a project with someone from another office. This person has no project management skills and yet is supposed to be leading it. I had to fight tooth and nail to get deadlines, never got the proper blueprints that we were supposed to (supposed to have them three months ago, been promised them four times)...and had instructions changed last minute, where I can prove via saved emails that she gave us contradictory instruction.

In one case, we called her on it, and she went back and changed the content of the original email, which we of course caught. And this person is well respected by leadership.

Jesus fucking CHRIST!!1!!!!!

A Poundland (ie everything one pound sterling) shop has just tipped up on our main shopping street, conversation about which prompted my boss this afternoon to describe it as "disgusting". This would be slightly easier to take if we didn't earn a salary that puts us in the exact demographic for such a shop

dear stupid annoying lady, please answer your phone so we can have a conversation instead of sending me vague emails like 'ok...' after i confirmed a detail which lead me to believe you are still checking into things and then not confirming with me when i follow up about whether you were saying 'ok...' to my answer to your question or okaying my initial request. when you finally answer your phone, don't give me the, 'when i say ok that means it is confirmed' treatment because ellipses lead people to believe there is more coming later, etc.

soda bomb?

i like my coworkers. i share an office with a couple people & it's pretty ridiculous and great actually. i suppose someone will leave one of these days & thus put at risk the v excellent work environment we have, but really i'm hoping nothing changes anytime soon.

My bf's patronising cow boss has apparently completely changed tack and is now being nice to everyone and constructive and coming up with structures and things. Praise be. Someone had to have noticed the effect she'd had on morale, I suspect. That or ppl complained.

Latest project now seems to have at least five people who think they're managing it, inc. one faction who thinks that nothing should go ahead until they've looked at every last line of a 2000-row spreadsheet which they won't have time to do until next week, and one woman who turns up every 3 minutes asking me why I haven't gone ahead yet because she wanted it done two weeks ago.

Unfortunately both factions think that as soon as they say go the actual technical work will only be a matter of pressing a button and no, like, days of painstaking irritating work which will have to be checked manually and which I was waiting for the first faction for because they're probably going to change everything.

Well, OK, I was also waiting because I cannot get this fucking thing working, it's driving me crazy. When I dropped out of university because I'd lie awake at night thinking how I'd rather hack my limbs off than have to go in the next day and admit that I hadn't done the work, somehow I'd managed to fool myself the real world would be different...

oh hay sales guys. you know that joke about how i eat all the fruit because I sit next to the fucking fruit basket? the one you make every fucking time you walk past my desk? the one you occasionally mix up by going, "oh there's still fruit left"?

yeah, the funny's never ever ever going to fade from that one.

oh, and "you need to get out more!" will also always be a fantastic zing.

sales guys bring the lolz

I cannot wait for my female coworker to get married next week. 8 hours a day listening to her talk about the fucking wedding is killing me.

Shut up shut up shut up shut up. None of us care which aunt can't make it. Really, we don't. Nor do we care whats in the seventeenth Crate & Barrel box that's showed up in our office this week.

I've never had dramatic coworkers. I think I'm missing out.

She's normally very nice, but since we hit the three week countdown to her wedding she is simply incapable of talking about anything but. Which is fine at lunch or when we are engaging in some small talk, but it grates when she comes over to my desk when I'm in the middle of something and wants to tell me that her aunt called last night because she can't come to the wedding.

i would just ask a thousand million banal questions until they got weirded out and left me alone.