itt: consternation and wailing about Zach Snyder's upcoming SUPERMAN/BATMAN film/sequel to MAN OF STEEL -- official title: BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

just cast david eckstein as everyone

some unintentionally hilarious/tragic pondering at the end of this

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Kevin-Smith-Confirms-Warner-Bros-DC-Stage-I-Line-Up-Accurate-43489.html

More outlandishly, I'd like to think that Warner Bros is keeping Kevin Smith in the information pool not only because of his ability to drum up fan interest, but also because they'll eventually want to offer him the chance to direct a DC Comics film. Think about it: Zack Snyder is the DC equivalent of Jon Favreau, the man who kickstarts everything and lays down a solid couple of films for the rest to take off from. Kevin Smith is the Joss Whedon of DC, the man with the knowledge and the passion to take the groundwork and push it to the next level, weaving everything into one gigantic arc of awesome. Bringing Smith into the fold, even if it was just for a movie or two, would benefit Warner Bros/DC, and would almost guarantee box office and fan credibility. It's the type of shot to the arm the DC cinematic continuum needs, and it's not too out of the realm of possibility. Unless Kevin Smith has progressed to the point where he'd turn down the chance to direct Ben Affleck in a standalone Batman movie, in which case all this is for naught.

If the world can just make it to 2019...yes...maybe we'll see Kevin Smith's Batman starring Ben Affleck.

I have never been happier for the bubble I choose to live in than I am reading that paragraph, because things could be so much worse for me and I could be thinking things like that

lol @ the person assuming kevin smith has the ability to deliver like that on any level

lol @ kevin smith

lost me at "Think about it:"

Zach Snyder and solid films

guy jacking off to a crayon drawing of kevin smith dressed as batman

if i were a crotchety conservative intellectual writing an allen-bloom-style book abt critical decadence i'd call it one gigantic arc of awesome

Kevin Smith is the Joss Whedon of DC

first i was like lol but the more i think abt it the more otm this is tho maybe not for the reasons the author had in mind

I don't see any other point in the comparison except that they've both written supehero comics? Other than that, their directing styles and careers are totally different... Smith is like the least visually-oriented director there is, whereas Whedon can at least handle that bit (which should be pretty essential for a superhero director) competently. And all the actual Smith comics that I've read have been totally meh, whereas Whedon's X-Men was pretty good. I still like Smith's early movies, but what he's good at is so different than what is required of these movies.

They are both fond of smarty-pants pop culture referencing dialogue I guess.

Tuomas, that's the joke. Smith is terrible and so is DC/Warner.

they should both be smothered with a pair of jorts

Also, hasn't Smith recently proved unable to even finish the minseries he writes? If you can't do one or two 23-page comic scripts, I'm not sure you can handle the pressure of managing some vast multimillion-dollar movie which relies for its success on several iffy-looking films beforehand and which has to lead into other iff-looking films beingh made at the same time.

the rumor is DC wants Affleck to wear the cowl and the puffy director pants in 2019

OK I caught the first 30 min of Man of Steel last night, it's pretty fucking bad. The stuff on Krypton looked like some Timelords dropped in on Attack of the Clones. I can't speak for the rest of it but it doesn't strike me as something to build a bunch of other stuff around.

Its more like a shitpile that you add shit to

Other than that, their directing styles and careers are totally different... Smith is like the least visually-oriented director there is,

yeah, i was gonna say... referring to smith's "directing style" is... an oxymoron.

Never forget:

http://www.theshiznit.co.uk/media/2013/December/weiners/phallic-manofsteel.jpg

That was amazing.

I clapped and cheered at that moment in the theater. Highlight of the entire dumbass movie for sure.

My favourite moment in MoS was when Helo and Gaeta from Battlestar Galactica appeared briefly, and in the same scene too! That must've been intentional, right?

TBH though, I thought the movie was perfectly okay. Okay script, okay diresting, okay actors... It was never really great, but never as cringeworthy as it might've been. Even the controversial kill scene was, while still stupid and pointless, kinda less controversial than I thought, because it felt like this was the thing that made Supes establish his "no killing" code. (It helped to sell the scene that Zod clearly wanted to commit suicide by cop, while still screwing with Kal's head for one last time.)

I tried to watch Man of Steel the other night but jfc the beginning is horrible

may need to get drunk for this one

The idea of supes getting into "no killing" after snapping Zod fits with the rumor that the new movie involves batman and aquaman being pissed off about the destruction on land and in the ocean during man of steel. Maybe this superman just starts off as a Nebraskan asshole with daddy issues who only becomes America's top Boy Scout after he finds better role models than pa kent?

the beginning was the only part i liked tbh!

it was kooky

it would be interesting if the new one was all about the consequences of the climactic action scene of the first one, has any series ever responded to its critics quite like that

Though man it will be nuts if in the middle of a movie that introduces a new batman they also have to establish the existence of Atlantis and Amazons.

Maybe they'll have different origin stories, though.

"Hey, superman, I'm batman. Veteran superhero, not dead but not Joseph Gordon-levitt. Decimating metropolis was fucked up!"

"Yes, and you also made a mess of things in my undersea kingdom!"

idk the beginning had so much superfluous flying around & "omg stuff!" it felt like a fking Lego Bionicle movie or some shit

I just love that Jor-El had a trusty dragon.

yes and a robot friend

IIRC the robot friend, plus a lot of the other Krypton elements, came from John Byrne's 1980s reboot of the comic (which was also titles The Man of Steel). In fact most of the movie's plot points were taken either from Byrne's Superman, J. Michael Straczynski's Earth One, or Mark Waid's Birthright. Even Superman killing Zod happened in the comics, and it was actually harsher there: he executed Zod and the other Phantom Zone criminals with Kryptonite... Though in the comics it was at least made clear that Superman felt he had no other choice (since those guys were mass murderers, and they'd proven that no prison could hold them), and killing them resulted in a major moral crisis, which made Supes leave Earth and wander aimlessly in space.

between his "i'm from nebraska!" bit at the end, and the fact that he didn't give a fuck when skyscrapers fell but got murderous when zod was endangering a single family of obvious tourists, maybe they'll have reporter clark kent be ostracized from his peers for being an anti-urbanite republican prude rather than a klutz

jesus forgot smallville was in kansas

i mean superman straight up says terrorists can't be from kansas, already sounds like a fox & friends guest

http://www.dragon-zoo.com/images/News_Pics/superman_dragon_cover.jpg

wait, that superman movie has a trusty dragon and robot friend? Somebody should have told me this earlier.

I don't remember either of those things being in it.

It was better than Bryan Singer's 'Superman lifts objects of increasing weight' at least.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-EdLrzZutE

in which jor-el, standing with robot friend during laser battle, calls for trusty dragon to rescue them

tbf, i did forget about the underwater lair where babies grow on seaweed

geez there are other colors besides teal and orange aren't there

yeah it's funny that this dismally colored land of lasers, dragons and seaweed babies would bring us SUPERMAN

but yeah, to be clear, i did prefer this mess to "SUPERMAN VS HEAVY THINGS: DAWN OF CHILD SUPPORT"

i always say superman ii is my favorite but it's hard to be objective when you saw the first four before the age of 10

but yeah, to be clear, i did prefer this mess to "SUPERMAN VS HEAVY THINGS: DAWN OF CHILD SUPPORT"

high praise

yeah tbf i was loling at myself for preferring Marlon Brando In An Ice Palace

like when mark waid wrote that SUPERMAN DOES NOT KILL HE'S A SWELL GUY article as if last time superman didn't throw Zod down a pit after pulling the ol' de-powering switcheroo...before picking a payback fight down at a diner.

In fairness to him...

But after I processed all that, I realized that it wasn’t so much my uncompromising vision of Superman that made this a total-fail moment for me; it was the failed lead-up TO the moment. As Superman’s having his final one-on-one battle with Zod, show me that he’s going out of his way to save people from getting caught in the middle. SHOW ME that trying to simultaneously protect humans and beat Zod is achingly, achingly costing Superman the fight. Build to that moment of the hard choice…show me, without doubt, that Superman has no other out and do a better job of convincing me that it’s a hard decision to make, and maybe I’ll give it to you. But even if I do? It’s not a victory. Not this sad, soul-darkening, utterly sans-catharsis “triumph” that doesn’t even feel like a win so much as a stop-loss. Two and a half hours, and I never once got the sense that Superman really achieved or earned anything.