this is no time for powdered mashed potatoes xpost
― doodle cock-up (electricsound), Wednesday, 13 August 2014 00:25 (nine years ago) link
it's not even new; second-hand. shit maybe the previous owner turned autocorrect on
anyway here's to dating
is that a smash joke lol
― i'm elf-ein lusophonic (imago), Wednesday, 13 August 2014 00:26 (nine years ago) link
almost
http://www.continental.com.au/Images/1030/1030-253784-146.png
― doodle cock-up (electricsound), Wednesday, 13 August 2014 00:34 (nine years ago) link
it's an omen. edb ur gonna get ur smash on
― i'm elf-ein lusophonic (imago), Wednesday, 13 August 2014 00:37 (nine years ago) link
I wish 50% matches from 20 miles away would stop ogling my profile.
I wish someone I had a damn thing in common with, here, in this area, would look at it.
― oblique blasphemies (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 15 August 2014 04:28 (nine years ago) link
Well, I just found my high school teacher from 10 years ago! And we're both in each other's age ranges! If our match percentage wasn't so low I'd probably go for it (yes, she was one of the "hot teachers").
Haha, at least there's precedent for this: we once went out to the same club night shortly before I graduated (after I was in her class, though). We never as much made eye contact, although she did perform many sexually suggestive dance moves that night.
I feel like this brief moment has made two years of unsuccess worthwhile.
― ed.b, Monday, 25 August 2014 02:49 (nine years ago) link
...Please tell me this isn't going to turn out awkward.
― ed.b, Tuesday, August 12, 2014 7:12 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
This was awkward! But only because she was far more socially anxious and awkward than I, which was a first, and actually oddly comforting (there's a real sense of self-assurance that comes with dealing with someone that has the social skills of yourself circa 16 years old).
After ceasing all post-date contact last week, we saw each other at the same movie last night, while she was out with friends. I guess it says something if I, rather than panic, mostly felt bad for how much social anxiety my presence was likely causing her. I'm pretty sure she did the 'sit super slung in the seat so as to stay hidden' thing. Again, a perverse comfort in knowing that you're causing someone more anxiety than they're causing you.
― ed.b, Monday, 25 August 2014 03:00 (nine years ago) link
If our match percentage wasn't so low I'd probably go for it (yes, she was one of the "hot teachers").
go for it anyway imo
― imago, Monday, 25 August 2014 07:07 (nine years ago) link
not necessarily in order to get anywhere, but just to know that you went for it
― imago, Monday, 25 August 2014 07:08 (nine years ago) link
hotforteacher.gif
― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Monday, 25 August 2014 07:11 (nine years ago) link
Here's a crazy idea for you: the idea that maybe, women's behaviour, while they are out in "the wild", at clubs, or at movies with their friends, may be about their own internal states and thoughts and experiences and absolutely nothing to do with you at all?
I know it's very easy, when one spends a lot of time on one's own, to project that every single thing done by a person you are interested in is somehow about you, but really, women are independent human beings and though you may be the centre of your own world, other people's worlds have different centres.
Sorry if this sounds harsh. But if you can internalise this, I've saved you 2 years and thousands of pounds' worth of therapy.
― Shugazi (Branwell with an N), Monday, 25 August 2014 08:51 (nine years ago) link
otm but edb is v much at the nascency of his love life & will surely learn these things in time
― imago, Monday, 25 August 2014 08:55 (nine years ago) link
You'd be surprised how many men never learn these things.
― Shugazi (Branwell with an N), Monday, 25 August 2014 09:01 (nine years ago) link
ha point taken, but ed's a bright spark & I say give the lad a chance. probably had to be said tho yeah
― imago, Monday, 25 August 2014 09:12 (nine years ago) link
Oh no, these were 100% cases of avoiding each other
― ed.b, Monday, 25 August 2014 11:53 (nine years ago) link
Not really sure where the idea that this about me projecting my narcissistic desire comes from: it's about running into your high school teacher sexy dancing at 2AM and that being awkward (At one point her friend came over and starting asking me about my school, so clearly she noticed I was there). I don't think that's an unrealistic thing to say. And the latter person was definitely avoiding me. I heard her say something like "oh let's not sit here" when here friends moved near me, and then when they moved right in front of me, she ducked her head under the top of the seat, then one of her friends said something about why are you panicking? I was avoiding her too. I mean, your comment is OTM because, obviously, but I'd give me more credit than automatically associating this with "damn these people are so obsessed with ME"
― ed.b, Monday, 25 August 2014 12:12 (nine years ago) link
ed
― nakh is the wintour of our diss content (darraghmac), Monday, 25 August 2014 12:28 (nine years ago) link
Not to get too defensive, though, I'm prone to narcissistic projection for most things (and not just women), so thank you for your advice.
― ed.b, Monday, 25 August 2014 12:46 (nine years ago) link
just sayin', 0% of branwell's advice concerned your teacher anecdote
― imago, Monday, 25 August 2014 12:50 (nine years ago) link
imago, speaking on behalf of other people is a bad idea. Please don't do it.
― Shugazi (Branwell with an N), Monday, 25 August 2014 12:53 (nine years ago) link
actually yer right, We never as much made eye contact, although she did perform many sexually suggestive dance moves that night. is perhaps a projection. point retracted
― imago, Monday, 25 August 2014 12:55 (nine years ago) link
Ok, if you're reading that as "she performed sexually suggestive dance moves" BECAUSE I was there, then you're flat out misreading what I'm saying.
― ed.b, Monday, 25 August 2014 12:56 (nine years ago) link
well I didn't think you meant that, but idk, shouldn't speak for others generally otm
― imago, Monday, 25 August 2014 12:57 (nine years ago) link
edddddddd
― nakh is the wintour of our diss content (darraghmac), Monday, 25 August 2014 13:01 (nine years ago) link
Yesssssss?
― ed.b, Monday, 25 August 2014 13:02 (nine years ago) link
get out via the window, run
― nakh is the wintour of our diss content (darraghmac), Monday, 25 August 2014 13:03 (nine years ago) link
If imago is quite finished (incorrectly) mansplaining what he thought I meant...
ed, the word I would have used would not be "narcissistic", wrong connotations. It would "solipsistic". There is a world of difference.
The situations you describe: Running into your former teacher either on OKC or at a club where she is dancing; sitting behind someone you had an (unsuccessful OKC) date with. These situations are awkward and potentially fraught. Yes.
But the awkwardness may well be *situational* rather than a personal reflection on you. The woman at the movies may well be thinking "OMG, a {guy from OKC} this is awkward, I don't want to have to explain my online dating habits to my IRL friends" where you are occupying the awkward space of {dude from OKC date} rather than her judgement on ed b, human being and OKC user. The situation with the teacher is similar, I mean, she may have been thinking "I was out there doing the butt-dance with my mates when OMG, argh, I saw one of my former students, eek!" - you are occupying a space of {former student}.
I mean, it is partly, yes, "do not assume that because a woman smiles or frowns or even dances sexily, that you are the intended recipient of these actions" because this is a constantly reinforced message. But in these specific cases, it is also a much huger helping of "if a woman reacts awkwardly to an OKC date turning up at a film, it's because ~OKC dates~ are inherently awkward" rather than her carrying around any specific feelings (negative or positive) about you as a human being or even a date.
Apologies is this if coming out crankily, but the main source of my crankiness here is imago ~playing expert~ and telling people what he has decided that I meant or didn't mean. But again, case in point: my crankiness is situational, dependent on imago's actions, rather than judgement on ed b, human being and ILX poster.
― Shugazi (Branwell with an N), Monday, 25 August 2014 13:41 (nine years ago) link
Oh yes, that makes total sense and I agree with you.
― ed.b, Monday, 25 August 2014 13:52 (nine years ago) link
now if we can just get imago back to agree as well
― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Monday, 25 August 2014 13:56 (nine years ago) link
paragraphs 2 through 5 are sage advice
― imago, Monday, 25 August 2014 14:01 (nine years ago) link
man, srsly lay off the teacher -- it's hard enough to do the job, but to have to wear the hat on the dance floor is too muchteachers are ppl too
― cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Monday, 25 August 2014 14:07 (nine years ago) link
sometimes more so than others, in my experience
― mh, Monday, 25 August 2014 14:10 (nine years ago) link
Ok, I feel bad about this now. Sorry.
― ed.b, Monday, 25 August 2014 14:23 (nine years ago) link
What movie was it?
― how's life, Monday, 25 August 2014 14:27 (nine years ago) link
wear the hat on the dance floor
can we make this a euphemism, stat
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 26 August 2014 15:15 (nine years ago) link
*pulls up a chair*
ok i'm on this thing
― sktsh, Sunday, 31 August 2014 23:38 (nine years ago) link
Good luck!
I just saw someone with "hike" and "dogs" in their name. Summing up, in two words, my problem with most of the people in California.
― il balletto da bronx, yo (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 1 September 2014 02:08 (nine years ago) link
I met my gf on this thing (in California) and she had a long rant about guys and their dogs, like, "I see right through you, freewheelin' dog guy."
― bamcquern, Monday, 1 September 2014 04:09 (nine years ago) link
Haha
― il balletto da bronx, yo (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 1 September 2014 05:05 (nine years ago) link
i'm going on a hike with my dog and a girl i met on okc tomorrow, but i'm in the midwest
― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Monday, 1 September 2014 05:50 (nine years ago) link
Is it a hike or are you just walking around somewhere?
― mh, Monday, 1 September 2014 15:59 (nine years ago) link
hikehīk/noun
1. a long walk, especially in the country or wilderness.
synonyms:walk, trek, tramp, trudge, slog, footslog, march; ramble
"a five-mile hike"
― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:08 (nine years ago) link
I feel like it's one of those "I love the outdoors and hiking" things where people really mean they like walking around a park.
When I think "hiking" I think of specialty footwear, possibly carrying camping gear, and following the Appalachian trail or something
― mh, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:11 (nine years ago) link
In the United States, Canada, the Republic of Ireland, and United Kingdom, hiking refers to walking outdoors on a trail, or off trail, for recreational purposes.[5] A day hike refers to a hike that can be completed in a single day. Multi-day hikes with camping are referred to as backpacking in North America.
― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:31 (nine years ago) link
The thought of hiking makes me need to lie down. Preferably in front of an air conditioner.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:34 (nine years ago) link
I'm going to go take a hike on this subject
― mh, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:46 (nine years ago) link
mh do you list "pedantry" under your OKC interests
― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:48 (nine years ago) link
Don't be a hike cop
― 龜, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:50 (nine years ago) link
nah, I was just reminded of some article where people were joking about the tendency for people to overemphasize sunny outdoors activities in words and pictures and thought it relevant
I hope your hike went well
― mh, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:52 (nine years ago) link
Think there's some regional difference in usage around "hike" - e.g. LA peeps talk about "going for a hike up Runyon Canyon" all the time and that is a freakin' paved path.
― resulting post (rogermexico.), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 19:25 (nine years ago) link