"ok I'll let you on just don't sting me with that"
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 18:59 (nine years ago) link
lol @ jesse
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 19:03 (nine years ago) link
"BeeOK"
― Plasmon, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 19:22 (nine years ago) link
the other day i had to get the cab driver to stop the car 50 yards from home because i could not remember whether i had closed my front door and seriously considered the possibility that i might have failed to do so
― Contrappunto dialettico alla mente (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 02:32 (nine years ago) link
spoiler -- i had in fact closed the door
― Contrappunto dialettico alla mente (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 02:33 (nine years ago) link
I once left the front door to my house completely open for a period of about 5-6 hours while I was away. As far as I know, nobody went into my house.
― Larminard Darzingargle (silverfish), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 03:01 (nine years ago) link
ive done that for a few hours while i was indoors
― Contrappunto dialettico alla mente (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 03:10 (nine years ago) link
Last week I wore my t-shirt inside out to work and did not realize it until I went into the bathroom at lunch.
I also once wore two different shoes to work. They did sort of look alike.
― The Velvet Fog called me a motherfucker (Sandy), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 07:11 (nine years ago) link
Listening to Led Zeppelin at work. Caught myself just before I attempted to forward an email to Robert Plant. And, no, the name of the intended recipient wasn't even close.
― The Size Of A Medium Grapefruit (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 15 October 2014 17:00 (nine years ago) link
I was checking out at the doctor's office. To my left are the big glass double doors that lead out to the hallway where the elevators are and a smaller wooden door that leads into a supply closet. I grab the key to the women's bathroom, and promptly walk into the supply closet. It takes me what feels like a really long time to figure out what the hell is happening, but it probably was only a couple of seconds. I came out, made a dumb joke, went out the correct doors and to the bathroom.
Then I came back, dropped the key off in the tray on the reception desk, and walked into the supply closet again.
― carl agatha, Thursday, 16 October 2014 21:43 (nine years ago) link
I hope you pretended the second closet trip was an intentional joke. (Bow, "Thank you ladies and germs.")
― nickn, Thursday, 16 October 2014 22:13 (nine years ago) link
I ran out the door without making eye contact and then went to a dark bar to hide while I waited for a prescription to be filled.
But I have to return in a week. Sigh.
― carl agatha, Thursday, 16 October 2014 22:16 (nine years ago) link
i have a habit of repeating minor idiocies as well :(
today, i was looking for a plastic wallet to hold some receipts, and picked up my bf's recipe folder to see if it had any spare...flicked through it not once but twice, closed it, put it away, and then realised that at no point had i been concentrating on the presence or otherwise of empty plastic wallets. got it out again, focused, there was one. he was much amused by this :(
― lex pretend, Thursday, 16 October 2014 23:26 (nine years ago) link
is there a thread for clumsiness
― 龜✊ (wins), Thursday, 16 October 2014 23:31 (nine years ago) link
after driving the package I was intending to mail around for 2 days, i finally remembered to go to the post office at lunchtime
walk down the hall past all the people waiting at the customer service window, smile at an old man, walk through the door into the post office proper & go over to the table with the customs forms & realize something is amiss
oh yeah. package still in the car
jeeeeeeeeeeeesus christ
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 24 October 2014 02:50 (nine years ago) link
BF asks me to grab him a cushion from inside while we're sitting out in the sun. I get up, go inside, make myself a drink... and come back out. Without the cushion. >:|
― Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Friday, 24 October 2014 03:16 (nine years ago) link
that is a nutshell summary of my marriage imo lol
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 24 October 2014 03:27 (nine years ago) link
lol.
― Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Friday, 24 October 2014 03:29 (nine years ago) link
When my wallet isn't in my pocket, I keep it in the same spot on a shelf so I don't lose it. This morning it wasn't there, and I spent five minutes searching for my wallet only to find that I'd put it... in the same position but on the shelf below (points to you if you figured this out before the end of that sentence).
― just like Nietzsche but with jokes (snoball), Sunday, 16 November 2014 10:51 (nine years ago) link
<3
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 16 November 2014 15:51 (nine years ago) link
My friend lost her keys, which we finally found in her purse. I asked her why she didn't put them on the hook in the "landing pad" by the front door. She said "If I put them there I'll forget them." ???
― Je55e, Sunday, 16 November 2014 16:46 (nine years ago) link
― The Size Of A Medium Grapefruit (Old Lunch)
"Thanks you for the sales breakdown for October. I'm not sure what your company does exactly, but you seem to be doing quite well. October was always a big sales month for us, too, what with the holidays just around the corner. Five or six of our albums actually came out in either October or November, and that wasn't an accident. Cheers, mate, and continued success--Robert."
― clemenza, Sunday, 16 November 2014 23:45 (nine years ago) link
Today I nearly sent an e-mail in which I'd mis-typed the word 'customer' as 'cumster'.
― just like Nietzsche but with jokes (snoball), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 19:27 (nine years ago) link
The cumster. The cumarino. The cumski.
― $0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 19:40 (nine years ago) link
Last Thursday it snowed a lot, and I had an appointment...got in the car, drove through hazardous conditions, made it with just a few minutes to spare. Parked in the very slippery, snowy parking lot, and realised I had forgotten to change into my snow boots. I was wearing CROCS.
― franny glasshole (franny glass), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:19 (nine years ago) link
This morning while I'm standing around waiting for the elevator, K, from the stroller, goes "Shoes!"
yeah, she wasn't wearing any
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:31 (nine years ago) link
Perhaps not as bad as the time last year when I put her in the bath with socks on
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:33 (nine years ago) link
Dropped a UPS package in the US mail slot yesterday.
― bollnality of weevil (brownie), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:36 (nine years ago) link
y'all are bringing your A-game, makes me teary
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 03:09 (nine years ago) link
ugh, went to go and get some ice and instead I got a scoop of my dog's food. I noticed then faced with the cup/dogfood incongruity. Worse for my dog, I suppose, who thought he was getting bonus food.
― Spaceport Leuchars (dowd), Monday, 8 December 2014 10:19 (nine years ago) link
our cats' litter tray is in our bathroom. beside the toilet we have a little basket in which we keep a little scoop we use to pick up their poop and drop it in the toilet, saving us from the odour which rolls across the house like a foul brown fog every time a cat takes a dump.
frequently, i find myself scooping up the poop, turning towards the toilet, and then instead of dropping it in the toilet bowl i drop it in the basket instead, sometimes necessitating an ugly cleanup operation. on one occasion i even managed to drop the poop in the basket then drop the scoop in the toilet.
― bizarro gazzara, Monday, 8 December 2014 13:39 (nine years ago) link
So I'm sitting at my desk at work this morning sort of vaguely wondering why I'm hungry at this time of day and suddenly it occurs to me that I forgot to eat breakfast
― silverfish, Friday, 19 December 2014 14:37 (nine years ago) link
*looks down at wallet*'That's odd, my debit card is missing'*looks back up again*'Oh, hang on, it's in the ATM I'm standing in front of'
Surely it can't get any worse than this.
― Wristy Hurlington (ShariVari), Sunday, 18 January 2015 18:37 (nine years ago) link
it does
microwave & washing machine are in the same room in back of our house
*puts food in microwave, wanders off*microwave beeps*walks back into room & opens washing machine*sees machine empty, looks around at microwave*ohhhhh
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 18 January 2015 19:22 (nine years ago) link
i also washed my clothes without detergent yesterday
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 18 January 2015 19:23 (nine years ago) link
things are going well
I nearly trashed a brand new washing machine last week. I forgot to remove the transit bolts so on its first spin cycle it starts making an unusual racket and violently juddering along the kitchen floor out of the washer bay. The worst thing is it is the second time I have done it and even when connecting it up I thought "note to self: don't forget the bloody transit bolts this time".
― xelab, Sunday, 18 January 2015 19:49 (nine years ago) link
oh jeez
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 19 January 2015 01:01 (nine years ago) link
bought sausages. ate one and a half before i wondered why they taste so goddamn awful, and realized they were vegan fake-sausage. ate another one and a half anyway.
― entry-level umami (mild bleu cheese vibes) (s.clover), Saturday, 30 May 2015 00:05 (nine years ago) link
Today I completely forget dinner plans made with friends until ~10 minutes before we were supposed to meet, while already sitting down to dinner at home.
― franny glasshole (franny glass), Saturday, 30 May 2015 02:22 (nine years ago) link
Put a tray of food in the oven upside down, spent 10 minutes picking potatoes out of the space between the oven door and the oven window, went out for sushi instead.
― Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 30 May 2015 02:43 (nine years ago) link
I can't even imagine how you would do this. Did you flip the tray at some point from table (or whatever) to oven rack?
― nickn, Saturday, 30 May 2015 02:48 (nine years ago) link
tonight i left my mind in a cab but it's OK bc i still have my Samsung Galaxy and my headphones
― surm, Saturday, 30 May 2015 02:54 (nine years ago) link
Just a sort of not-concentrating last minute flip. I don't think I could replicate it if I tried.
― Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 30 May 2015 02:59 (nine years ago) link
xp if you've uploaded your mind to the cloud, then it's not a problem.
― passive-aggressive rageaholic (snoball), Saturday, 30 May 2015 07:45 (nine years ago) link
I was at the office and thought they'd installed electric, automatically opening doors, but it turned out it was just someone opening the door on the other side.
― Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 30 May 2015 10:17 (nine years ago) link
lol
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 30 May 2015 14:30 (nine years ago) link
haha that's true snoball
― surm, Saturday, 30 May 2015 15:44 (nine years ago) link
You might lose your memory of all mental activity since the last backup but, meh, it's the weekend so how much likely to be lost really?
― passive-aggressive rageaholic (snoball), Saturday, 30 May 2015 17:23 (nine years ago) link
not much good point.
the other night i went out and met some fun people at a bar. i said something like brb and went outside to find a smoke, leaving my wallet on the bar in good faith (i know.) well the bartender, who i was talking to as well bc he was friends with the others, comes out to find me, literally walks down the street thinking i had skipped out on my tab. he was so patronizing that i didn't tip him and left, after pointing out that my wallet was right in front of him the whole time. not sure what pissed me off more - his attitude or the fact that i was stupid enough to leave my wallet unattended.
― surm, Saturday, 30 May 2015 19:37 (nine years ago) link