PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAG: Supermarket Self-Serve Checkout Poll

One person's annoying clientele are another's rich vein of comedy eavesdropping.

I have stopped using chain supermarkets for Lent

As much as that's a luxury specific to urban life, I have to say that giving up chain supermarkets for Lent is pretty awesome. I'm guessing that at worst you spend the same amount of money, and at best you save a good chunk. I have an Asian market literally across the street from me, and I go in there maybe once a month. I ought to be ashamed of myself. There are so many cheap fruits and veggies, good meat, great seafood, etc etc. (There's a lot of scary crap in there too, bad meat, scary seafood, etc, but shopping is a skill, I guess.)

The self-check line is always the "people buying just a couple of things and are in kind of hurry to get out of this godforsaken place" line.

― kenan, Tuesday, March 17, 2009 2:15 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^yes this, totally - it's obvious that's what they're there for. and i don't believe everyone saying they don't work - if EVEN I can work them, then they're fine.

I have an Asian market literally across the street from me, and I go in there maybe once a month. I ought to be ashamed of myself. There are so many cheap fruits and veggies, good meat, great seafood, etc etc. (There's a lot of scary crap in there too, bad meat, scary seafood, etc, but shopping is a skill, I guess.)

otm I have some of the best Indian supermarkets around near me but I seldom use except to stock up on spices/herbs etc. tho to be fair my big problem with not using chain supermarkets is that I'd have to go to a separate butcher, a separate fishmonger, etc etc etc.

I would spend way more money if I shopped in local stores rather than chain supermarkets, unless I lived exclusively off ramen noodles or something. That's presumably because I eat processed crap the whole time though, which is almost twice the price in the corner shops.

I like these and use them reasonably often in the two small-ish town centre stores that have them (Tesco Metro & Sainsburys Local in Exeter); however, I did notice on Sunday when I nipped in for bread,milk, and eggs on the way home from Bristol that, even though there was a queue of about 6 people to get to the self-service tills, people were still joining that rather than go up to an actual real till with a person, of which there were 3, with no queue. So I went to a real person and walked out WAY quicker than the self-service people. There's something quite poignant and sad about that.

Not.. really. You just know how to spot a queue full of morons.

there is absolutely nothing poignant about that nick

yeah, there is! Nick is totally poignant.

Poignancy fite!

I don't know if he's poignant, but that's what happens in my local grocery store, too. The lines for self check out are regularly much longer than the lines for human cashiers. My personal policy is to get in whichever line is the shortest, but I generally prefer the human cashiers because I like talking to people. (I know, that is crazy talk on the internets.) Also, there's one cashier who likes to ask customers trivia questions, and I find him delightful and nerdy.

Actually, I have THREE local grocery stores, all within three blocks of me, and only one has self-serve checkout. But the above is my policy when I shop at that particularly store. I prefer to shop at the Treasure Island, though, because Treasure Islands are deeply weird, plus they have better bagels.

Also, there's one cashier who likes to ask customers trivia questions

this is why people use the computer checkouts. i would hate that, i would consider it rude of him to put me in a spot where i'm forced to be impolite (by either ignoring him or actually saying "i'm not down with this")

this doesn't mean i'm antisocial or scared of human interaction or whatever bullshit - it just means i don't want to talk to anyone while i am trying to do grocery shopping

I mean, the day that a mechanised self-serve machine tells me where I can get Turkish flatbread or Anatolian Breakfast

http://maps.google.com/intl/en_us/images/maps_logo_small_blue.png

they don't really have them most anywhere in DC, but i don't use them if they're available. grocery stores trying to get rid of more good union jobs w/benefits - no way

xxpost I take one earphone out during checkout, hopefully sending the message that I am engaged with my surroundings as little as possible without being totally rude, so please meet me halfway and don't talk to me any more than is absolutely necessary.

^^^What Daria said, BTW.

i love the robocheckouts as you never feel ashamed for using switch for a frij milkshake and some beansprouts.

Best way to do the steak/onions trick is go in looking smart as hell, tie, shoes as to be above suspician. i currently cycle everywhere is quite silly gear (80s nike windcheater, occasionally teamed with green trousers) and have cut my hair so i look like a skinnytubby irish member of the skins cast so its out of the question. This added to (while attempting not to sound like alf garnett) most of the foreign staff thinking that if your on a bike and look like youve never done a hard days work in your life you are undoubtedly a kid often makes booze purchase a bit hairy.

Half the time, a booze purchase has to be supervised because the *cashier* is under 18 or under 21.

go in looking smart as hell, tie, shoes as to be above suspicion

HA otm. In my more roguish days I got really good at this. You don't want to look TOO sharp, you want to look kind of "Manhattan sharp." Your tie is a little loose, maybe you need a shave, but the point is YOU ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS and plus you're in a hurry, so let's get on with this shoplifting so I can do more important things, ok?

I don't use them, as I tend to do the bulk of my shopping these days in either Tesco or Waitrose because of their incredibly generous coupon-acceptance policies which means you can use pretty much any old grocery money-off coupons to pay for yr shopping without actually having to buy the item itself (thus reducing my weekly food shopping bill down to something ridiculously miniscule). Scanning money-off coupons at self-serve tills is a massive hassle (and is either generally frowned on, or even FORBIDDEN in some branches) so I use the normal tills and speak to real people instead. Which is shame really, as I'd love to play cashier and make things beep myself.

In defense of the trivia question cashier (and I'm not interested in defending him too enthusiastically - I have days where I would prefer people not try to talk to me, and I'm married to someone with views similar to yours, Lex, so I get it, at least in a general way), he does always ask first if you want to answer a trivia question. Presumably if you said, "No," he would go about his cashiering duties and bother you no more. But yeah, I get where that kind of thing isn't for everyone.

go in looking smart as hell, tie, shoes as to be above suspicion
HA otm. In my more roguish days I got really good at this. You don't want to look TOO sharp, you want to look kind of "Manhattan sharp." Your tie is a little loose, maybe you need a shave, but the point is YOU ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS and plus you're in a hurry, so let's get on with this shoplifting so I can do more important things, ok?
― kenan, Tuesday, March 17, 2009 7:52 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

It's nice to be white!

(nb - I nab a lot of good stuff at the HEB, and I am a white dude)

You know, I thought of that after I posted it. The shit you can get away with.

charging a pound of steak as onions: classic

genius, never even thought of that. is there any chance whatsoever of getting caught doing this? I am a reluctant thief.

Used to do this all the time as a student. I don't know about the US but generally in Britiain if you act confidently and appear to be above a wee bit of shoplifting (plus, y'know, you're actually paying for other stuff) then anyone who might be responsible is likely to be too embarrassed to accuse you of stealing. If they were to, then deniability is right there - you just made a mistake, right?

Classic. Also doable with newspapers if the newsagent/kiosk section is separate and on the way in to the main store. Roll it up and act all casually "yeah already bought this from somewhere else".

Note, I am now gainfully employed and do not do this anymore.

are you serious? do you guys get remarks?

No, but this dude did.

I haven't read the whole thread but Stop-N-Shop around here has these awesome handheld scanners that you can use to ring up your order as you shop, so when you checkout, you literally just scan a barcode, pay, and leave the store. It's fucking fantastic.

these things are 99% broken fucking bullshit. However, the self-checkout at the library is one of the greatest things ever, so it can be done right.

That's going to be the way of the future...can't wait. xpost

Wouldn't it be cool if all the checkout people looked like Jame Gumb and stood up front, not making eye contact and saying "IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BAGGING AREA."

I think, like someone up-thread, that it's better if someone halfway competent does things that can be efficiently carried out but only if you know the vegetable codes, where the buttons for things are, and how to circumvent design problems in the system.

A cashier who uses the machine all day will stand about an 800% better chance of knowing that stuff than will I or any other random person who wanders in off the street (and considering that functional literacy rates aren't necessarily all that high in some places, people came in w/o their reading glasses, English isn't their first language, etc -- I can't wait behind people and get mad every time).

i love these but every supermarket i go to invariably has only one or two OMG REAL HUMAN checkout lanes open, so that definitely helps me love them. waiting in supermarket lines is one of the most excruciating experiences in the world imo. i find almost every argument against not using these if the line's shorter totally retarded, except if you have a lot of stuff / booze / need cigs. also: try selecting spanish, the voice is a lot better and you get a little language lesson.

1. it doesn't work. 1A. you are a retard. (N.B. if the machine isn't totally broken, this is more about the "UNEXPECTED ITEM" complaints.)
2. wehre is human touch. 2A. last thing check-out person wants is to deal with another annoying twat like you, you are a retard.
3. wah i'm contributing to job loss blah blah. NEWSFLASH: YOU ARE NOT EMPLOYING ANYONE. supermarkets have a lot of reasons to keep / fire people and you not going through soccermom aisle 3 is not exactly tops in terms of expenses. quit being a self-important retard.

THAT was a little over-the-top but people complaining about these / making a loud point about not using them bugs the HELL out of me.

Wow, you sure do like to bag your own groceries. I prefer to read the tabloids.

I prefer to bag as I shop and then use my scanner at the checkout lane so I can walk directly to my car and get the fuck home because srsly fuck the supermarket

I'll be all for that as soon as they invent a Total Recall-like tunnel that you can push your cart through and have everything scanned at once.

I'm not retarded, the machine is

I've just had a mental meeting about library self-checkout systems, RFID tags, and books being automatically checked out to you when you walk out of the building.

Which professionally is interesting, but on a human level is kind of sad. Don't get why my comment upthread is seen as "not at all poignant". Anything which cuts of angles of human interaction is sad, in my mind.

Well, that burger's still not going to flip itself.

YET

dan where is the supermarket that has handheld scanners? i must investigate this.

Maybe one day, there'll be a supermarket that lets the customer mop up the mess in Aisle 14 himself!

oh christ saying hello and grinning superficially to a checkout line cashier who sees hundreds and hundreds of people go through his line every shift and whom you probably would not give the time of day to in ANY other situation is not "human interaction"!!! when i hear someone say this i srsly have to suppress the urge to smack them.

Wow! I'm nowhere near the most cranky, knee-jerk, hyperbolic person on this thread! That's refreshing.

http://tv.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/snl_target_kristin_wiig.jpg

matt p is correct, not all types of human interaction are valuable and frankly if you really feel you gain anything from meaningless, surly nothings at the supermarket checkout, then THAT is what i would call sad and poignant

and honestly if you don't like bagging your own groceries you either have a lot of them, which makes this whole argument pointless because of course going through the HUMAN INTERACTION LINE is easier, or you are.. honestly i have no idea.

x-post Laurel, the "human interaction" line makes me go cranky, knee-jerk, hyperbolic, I try not to be that obnoxious about other things!

I normally hate other people in public! They walk slow, are stupid, get in the wrong lines, etc etc. But the checkout people, I guess I sort of like them on principle. I try to catch their eye and smile and I usu get a nice response even if they previously looked mean or unhappy, so it DOES make me feel like maybe both of us feel that little 3% better than we did before.

In the UK, at the "human interaction line", you bag your own fucking groceries anyway unless you specifically ask not to,which I have never, ever done.

Last night we did our weekly shop at Sainsburys. We talked to the cashier, who was an elderly (50s or 60s) woman called Ruth, judging by her name badge. It was pleasant. It was human interaction. We always use the same supermarket, and recognise most of the regular cashiers at the times we shop. Whether they recognise us or not is a moot point, but, unless the queues are horrific, we do make a point of using the same people's tills again and again. BECAUSE IT'S NICE. Because smiling, making light, meaningless chit-chat, and being aware that other people outside your precious ennui-riddled hyper-cool cynical fuck-off social circle exist, and are alive, and have homes, and voices, and interests, and can talk to you about catfood, or your choice of veg, or what you're cooking for dinner, is a last bastion of minor pleasure in this increasingly "let's use GPS on my iPhone so I never have to look another human being in the eye long enough to ask directions" world. Fuck YOU, Matt P, you misanthropic fuck.

Now now

I shop, I don't work there.