Quit riding me or I'll make you a casserole
― leigh exodus (country matters), Sunday, 22 March 2009 15:03 (fifteen years ago) link
LJ, you'll be lucky if they don't respond by sneaking a turd into the next meal they cook for you.
― plenty chong (libcrypt), Sunday, 22 March 2009 15:04 (fifteen years ago) link
Also, don't complain about being ridden when you arrive at the stable with the saddle strapped to yr back.
― plenty chong (libcrypt), Sunday, 22 March 2009 15:05 (fifteen years ago) link
Owwww.
― one art, please (Trayce), Sunday, 22 March 2009 23:21 (fifteen years ago) link
I made a huge dish of linguine, about 2 pounds, with a kind of rich lemon zest cream sauce. For some reason though I had the impression that "lemon zest" meant the white stuff on the inside of the peel -- what I now know is called "pith." Should have been tipped off by how many lemons and how much time it took to grate as much "zest" as the recipe required. Lemon pith, if you've never eaten it, has the weird quality of tasting really awful but also like something which you can imagine acquiring as a taste -- so I actually ate quite a lot of this, thinking, "this tastes weird but it must just be a challenging flavor I have to learn to appreciate" -- but at some point I called my mom who told me that I'd ruined the whole thing and would I please stop eating it.
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 23 March 2009 01:32 (fifteen years ago) link
Haha ok now thats a mistake I can easily see being made :) In fact I used to get pith and zest confused in my mind too - thankfully I never made a dish out of it though :)
― one art, please (Trayce), Monday, 23 March 2009 02:42 (fifteen years ago) link
when I first met my husband he had this thing about leftovers & eggs. whether it was leftover chinese food, or steamed veggies, or...whatever, he was always adamant that they worked perfectly in a scramble with a few eggs the following day. I never really enjoyed this trait much, but I tolerated it. Mostly I'd bow out, but sometimes he'd start preparing while I was sleeping and surprise me with a plate of whatever...creation he'd made. This all came to crashing halt on the day that he decided to mix up Country-Style Pork leftovers with his eggs. Country-Style Pork = boneless pork spareribs, covered in this thick, rich brown sauce that mainly consisted of Soy Vey, liquid smoke and other things I can't remember. It was so saucey that, when mixed with the beaten eggs, the eggs stayed in little separated chunks as they cooked in the frying pan...they just didn't want to hang out with the sauce AT ALL. And this was one of those days where he dished it all up for me and then came and woke me up. I sat down, looked at my plate...it looked like dog food and barf. I looked over at him and just said, "Dude, there's no way." The look of it was SO bad I couldn't even try to taste it. He ate one mouthful and spat it into the sink. It was SO very, very wrong. And whenever he gets wistful about his leftovers + eggs = magic breakfast, I remind him of the Country Style Pork fiasco. So now leftovers are just leftovers.
― VegemiteGrrrl, Monday, 23 March 2009 04:12 (fifteen years ago) link
If your husband were raised in the midwest (assuming you are from the states), the leftovers would like have been compiled and made into a hash or casserole. This would probably have been slightly preferable to the "with eggs" option, but not by much.
― 2 ears + 1 ❤ (Pillbox), Monday, 23 March 2009 04:18 (fifteen years ago) link
*likely
― 2 ears + 1 ❤ (Pillbox), Monday, 23 March 2009 04:19 (fifteen years ago) link
We used to make bubble and squeak that way! But only with left over chopped bits of roast veg like potato and kumera and maybe a bit of cbbage and onion.
― one art, please (Trayce), Monday, 23 March 2009 04:45 (fifteen years ago) link
my husband serves as a warning re: the limits of 'the scramble'.
― VegemiteGrrrl, Monday, 23 March 2009 04:49 (fifteen years ago) link
I have once made an "alfredo" sauce while stoned using everything white and vaguely dairy or cheese-like in the kitchen at the time. Shit was delicious in the moment tho.
I made muffins once and forgot to put in the flour.
I made a "quick and easy" pasta recipe where you combined everything (pasta, sauce, water) at the start but forgot the water part and wound up with a burned mess and a takeout pizza.
― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Monday, 23 March 2009 04:53 (fifteen years ago) link
Made some spinach cannelloni, which typically call for a pinch of nutmeg. With the filling still hot in the pan I decided I couldn't taste the nutmeg so I added some more. Still couldn't taste it. Added some more. Still couldn't taste it. Added some more ... until ... It was a culinary disaster of the mildly psychedelic variety.
― swedes put dill on fields of salmon (fields of salmon), Monday, 23 March 2009 04:56 (fifteen years ago) link
I have once made an "alfredo" sauce while stoned using everything white and vaguely dairy or cheese-like in the kitchen at the time.
this reminds me of various dairy products I used in lolcollege (yeah, probably stoned) to prepare Kraft dinner when there was a dearth of milk and/or butter: sour cream, cream cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, salad dressing. I guess this doesn't really count, though, as I typically dumped in enough ketchup after the fact to obscure any taste differentials.
― 2 ears + 1 ❤ (Pillbox), Monday, 23 March 2009 05:17 (fifteen years ago) link
A friend who was at that time a horrible cook once called me for help after she tried to make a "cream sauce" by using every white liquid she had - mayonnaise, sour cream, yogurt, eventually some flour - everything except cream. She apparently though being white and liquid was enough.
― Easter Time / Chocolate Time (joygoat), Monday, 23 March 2009 05:28 (fifteen years ago) link
Once I made scones with plain flour by mistake and wondered why they came out like little rocks :(
― one art, please (Trayce), Monday, 23 March 2009 05:56 (fifteen years ago) link
The biggest disaster I can recall making is a stew that had an artichoke in it, broken up into its leaves. I was about to toss it as inedible, but my Ugandan housemate insisted that I not and he ate the whole thing (without the hard parts of the artichoke leaves, of course).
― plenty chong (libcrypt), Monday, 23 March 2009 06:02 (fifteen years ago) link
Oh I absolutely hate to have to throw good food away because it's been ruined. Luckily it doesnt happen to me too often - burning's the only problem these days thanks to a completely useless electric stove which I suspect has a broken thermostat as it just gets way too hot even if I only put it on 100C :(
― one art, please (Trayce), Monday, 23 March 2009 06:12 (fifteen years ago) link
have never read this before now, good show all
― gucci gone bonkers (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 08:13 (fifteen years ago) link
sargnt88 (4:12:49 AM): just for the recordsargnt88 (4:12:52 AM): a run down of louis' recipesargnt88 (4:14:06 AM): tilapia, lemon, oregano, olive oil, red wine, chopped tomato, onion, an entire box of luxury chocolates, an entire wheel (? what the hell? lol british has an actual wheel of cheese) of camembert cheese
― gucci gone bonkers (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 08:14 (fifteen years ago) link
continuing on the "all dairies are not the same" tip:
This one time I was VERY DRUNK and housesitting for my aunt around christmastime and I had one of those packages of 7-minute pasta alfredo.So the recipe called for milk, but I didn't have any, but I DID have eggnog, which had me all excited about my new creation: the Xmas Pasta.So of course I cooked it and of course i didn't even taste this probably already horrible concotion before I went through my aunt's spice cabinet to see how it should be seasoned.I finally decided on a blend of lemon pepper ("Heeeyyy! I like pepper! and I LOOOVEE lemon! this'll be great!!!") and celery salt (similar thought process).By the time it was finished it was reaalllllllllllyyyyyy far from edible. The dog wouldn't even touch it. But never wanting to waste food I popped open a couple cold cans of Schlitz and forced it down. ahhh, good times.
― Fetchboy, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 09:58 (fifteen years ago) link
what is wrong with yall
― gucci gone bonkers (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 09:59 (fifteen years ago) link
Also, to make it bearable I doused it with Tony Chachere's, which is this fantastic southern Louisiana spice blend that sort of makes everything taste better.
― Fetchboy, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 10:01 (fifteen years ago) link
(xpost) evidence suggests that none of us can cook...
― how wide is a lawnmower? (snoball), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 10:25 (fifteen years ago) link
*I* can cook, damn y'all, and I haven't made such culinary "experiments" since I was 16 and bored. Geez. Its not that hard to whip up a tuna pasta or a beef casserole by sticking to the basics!
― seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 11:20 (fifteen years ago) link
i mean how could you seriously think that egg nog would be an acceptable substitute
are you retarded?!
no offense!!!!
― go cram on 'em (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 11:21 (fifteen years ago) link
I know rite. Its sweet!
― seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 11:25 (fifteen years ago) link
i mean if you were fucked up, mayyyyybe
― go cram on 'em (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 11:26 (fifteen years ago) link
Mind you this reminds me of the time I was going thru the fridge when living at parents and saw a jug of liquid and, being a juice jug, I thought "oh nice, pinapple juice!"
And I took a big slug, only to find out it was some kind of horrible fat runoff from cooking :/ BLEUGH.
― seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 11:27 (fifteen years ago) link
egg nog is bad, making a sauce for fish from a box of chocolates + a wheel of cheese is just taking it to a whole other level imo
― just sayin, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 11:32 (fifteen years ago) link
you know, that's not even abt 'dont you know how to cook?' that's like 'have you ever eaten food in yr life?'
― just sayin, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 11:33 (fifteen years ago) link
once missed the fact that the rice vinegar was supposed to be diluted, so I added it straight to the rice, resulting in the vinegar-iest sushi rice ever. the first bite was good--ooh, flavorful!-- but each additional bite made you progressively queasier.
― sciolism, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 12:43 (fifteen years ago) link
this thread is A+ hilarious
i haven't had any chocolate-and-cheese-on-fish culinary disasters lately (fuck, EVER), but i did recently make rice pudding out of the following ingredients:
leftover ricecardamom seedsmilk2 sugar packets2 international delight vanilla creamers7-8 crumbled ginger cookiesraisins
and it was pretty good.
― figgy pudding (La Lechera), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 12:44 (fifteen years ago) link
(this was at a rental house i was sharing with friends and we didn't have vanilla extract, but for some reason there were those gross creamers.)
sometime last year i made chicken broth from a chicken i had roasted and eaten and then i accidentally left it (the broth) out on the counter to cool for too long.
then i thought, oh why not use it? i made chicken soup for my tired husband and we wound up with food poisoning. oops.
― figgy pudding (La Lechera), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 12:48 (fifteen years ago) link
My mum's freezer died so she made a veg 'rage' curry that we had to eat for about 3 weeks.
All the frozen veg from the plot, in a curry, whether it worked or not.
And the slightest complaint was met with a steely look.
― Jarlrmai, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 13:21 (fifteen years ago) link
When I was a kid (like 13 or so) I made Kraft mac & cheese but somehow missed the instruction on the box to drain the noodles after boiling them so I dumped the cheese powder in with all the water and noodles and ended up with macaroni and cheese soup.
― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 13:24 (fifteen years ago) link
One Christmas a relative cooked a Christmas pudding in the microwave for 20 minutes on full power. The result looked like a lump of tar.
― how wide is a lawnmower? (snoball), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 13:32 (fifteen years ago) link
Apparently I haven't yet mentioned the time I didn't wash the spinach properly. :-(
― Unregistered Googler (stevienixed), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 13:36 (fifteen years ago) link
super hungry last night. rushing. less than 30 mins to cook and eat. don't want crap, trying to eat well. okay. grill salmon/veg 10 mins. super quick dressing. done. hmm, packet of cous cous, what could be easier? it's been sitting here for months. right, boil water, add to cous cous and wait 5 mins. easy.
boil water, boil water, boil water. argh. so frustrating that i can't seem to use a kettle. occasionally this happens with cups of tea/coffee too. heated the cous cous in the microwave and it came out as some sort of rancid gloopy mess.
― Crackle Box, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 13:45 (fifteen years ago) link
what went uncommented in this thread is that louis's "good recipes" that he linked to sound, and i say this with love, totally bizarre as well.
― north sea jazz dit weekend (call all destroyer), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 14:29 (fifteen years ago) link
xp dude what is this issue you are having re: boiling water?
― north sea jazz dit weekend (call all destroyer), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 14:30 (fifteen years ago) link
http://cache3.vuze.com/assets/042/14684240/60069/3JSG7VJESP54O6CAXKJ2P4OHYHSRIQMM_3.jpg
― Crackle Box, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 14:34 (fifteen years ago) link
forgetting to turn the kettle on when i'm in a rush/mornings. xpost
― Crackle Box, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 14:35 (fifteen years ago) link
^ louis cooking for his family obv
― Crackle Box, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 14:37 (fifteen years ago) link
i just looked at louis's other recipes - prawns in sauerkraut?
― just sayin, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 14:49 (fifteen years ago) link
i cater for weddings, bar mitzvahs, corporate events
― thank you, flipper, for nickelback (country matters), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 14:50 (fifteen years ago) link
here's my card - it's edible
the prawns in sauerkraut were garnish for a lamb liver
― north sea jazz dit weekend (call all destroyer), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 14:52 (fifteen years ago) link
really having trouble wrapping my head around that tbh
xxpost I need fiber, not paper
― Unregistered Googler (stevienixed), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 14:52 (fifteen years ago) link