Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

the person in the cube next to me sings along a lot. earlier she was singing along to george mcrae and it was sweet and charming. then she said (to herself) "don't ever let your kids grow up. then they start telling you what to do. fucking idiots."

The new guy behind me hums but I have yet to recognise a single thing he's humming. Mainly just arpeggios and tuneless "bom-bom-bommmmm". I think "Here Comes The Sun" may have been attempted at one point.

I warn you guys that at some point within the next two weeks I am going to have an angst meltdown somewhere on ILX about how to concentrate with someone sitting 2 feet behind you who goes bom-bom-bommmm a lot or really just makes any noise at all including those essential to staying alive as a human. Apparently I was born without the "being able to concentrate on my work and not wanting to kill people/myself despite hearing utterly quotidian noises quite quietly" gene.

I am afraid I am That Person in my office. I dont sing, but I talk to myself constantly. I cant fuckin help it. It must annoy the piss out of everyone but no one ever says anything.

Ah yes, most excellent of you to take your shoes off in the office and then put your feet up on the top and drawer handles of every desk you sit near

I cant fuckin help it

how come

*shrug*. I do it at home, too. In public I sort of mutter to myself. Its weird and compulsive.

c'mon mookie get with it n00b

Ha PP you'd probably hate working with me, I have a dreadful tendency to mutter to myself when I work :/
― Trayce, Monday, November 10, 2008 7:39 PM

“why does this women that sits near me have to verbalize everything that pops into her brain? constant string of mumbles and comments!! stop please!!”

Oh dear, I'm afraid I am That Person in my office :/
― I'm Rick Wakeman, bitch! (Trayce), Wednesday, June 17, 2009 10:46 AM

And I know I'm an annoying co-worker - I mutter to myself a lot and swear at things.
― Dearth Disco (Trayce), Thursday, October 1, 2009 4:33 PM

Ugh I am the loud one in my office but I cant help it, I've gone half-deaf and I'm having trouble modulating my volume :(
― ceci n'est pas une pipecock (Trayce), Monday, October 5, 2009 9:47 AM

I've been known to do that by accident momentarily. The tapping on desk at least. Then I remember where I am and stop, sheepishly. I also play air-keyboards on the edge of my desk along to Telefon Tel Aviv albums.
― gnarly gnarlingtons in my life (Trayce), Wednesday, March 2, 2011 10:31 AM

Have just realised Ive been drumming on my desk like mad to M83 for the last 20 mins, and I have become the annoying coworker lol.
― gnarly gnarlingtons in my life (Trayce), Wednesday, March 9, 2011 4:16 PM

“I tend to talk to myself a LOT at work, especially if I'm doing something particularly taxing. Am I an annoying coworker?”

Oh god I do that too :/
― gnarly gnarlingtons in my life (Trayce), Wednesday, March 9, 2011 7:05 PM

I talk to myself at work all the time :/
― The man who mistook his life for a FAP (Trayce), Wednesday, May 25, 2011 4:58 PM

Not going to make a big deal out of it though. I'm sure I am equally annoying the way I mutter to myself all the live-long day.
― Rameses Street (Trayce), Friday, August 12, 2011 10:25 AM

Would that I could work from home. Then I could post on here and bitch about myself.
― Silent Hedgehogs (Trayce), Wednesday, August 31, 2011 1:58 PM

Haha I knew I'd mentioned this at least twice before but yeesh.

my least favorite ilx feature

ha Trayce, I skipped some and stopped at 2011 because someone got out of the shared .xls I was waiting for

Grrr :P

I'm sure I've mentioned this one before but I can currently hear fingernails being clipped from the other side of the office. Same guy once started flossing his fucking teeth while I was talking to him.

Now playing:

The madame rings the chapel bell
C'est la vie
You never can tell

just went off on my coworkers/underlings

they got real quiet and now they are whispering in private corners

ARRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH

1. i received an email telling me that i had to submit a financial disclosure/conflict of interest form.
2. no big deal. i had to fill this same form out every year when i worked in the DC office.
3. i filled it out, and brought it to the person that was designated to receive it for our office.
4. he expressed some shock that i was turning it in. most employees in this office aren't required to fill it out. we realized that i was probably asked to fill it out (by someone in DC) by mistake.
5. since he has a pile of these forms that he has to review and doesn't want to add to the pile, he said that i shouldn't turn it in. he asked me to just run this by my neverending hierarchy of bosses to confirm that i don't need to do this.
6. i email my boss to let her know that i've been asked to fill out this form, but it's a mistake and i'm just letting her know.
7. boss asks me to get it in writing from the guy in items 3-5 that he didn't think i had to fill out the form.
8. i email the guy in items 3-5 (and now 8) to let him know that my boss has asked me to get it in writing from him that i don't need to fill out the form.
9. the guy asks me to get in writing, from my managers, a precise description of my job duties during 2014. this is worse than it sounds because i worked in two different offices in 2014, in totally different positions with different management chains, and both of them, as evidenced by this fucking absurd series of events, have trouble doing even the most simple things without it devolving into kafka's worst short story.
10. THE FORM IS BLANK. I DON'T HAVE ANY ASSETS OR LIABILITIES THAT ARE REPORTABLE. THE FORM IS BLANK, EXCEPT FOR MY SIGNATURE.

i don't know how much longer i can take shit like this. i know it's minor but absolutely EVERYTHING must be a nightmare

here's my draft:

"hello former boss, i'm writing because i tried to fill out the financial disclosure/conflict of interest form, but when i attempted to turn it in i was told that it was a mistake to turn it in, then my current boss asked the guy to put it in writing that it was a mistake, and then the guy asked me to get a "precise" accounting of my job duties during 2014 to confirm that i'm not doing anything important and it doesn't matter what kind of conflicts of interest i have because i'm going fucking nowhere in this shithole meaningless job. also the form is completely blank because i have nothing to report. hope your 2015 is going well! xoxoxoxo"

These assholes need to be addressing each other directly instead of using you as their go-between errand boy.

i just got a call from one of the primary actors and he managed to escalate the absurdity even more, somehow. i can't even type out in a smartass fashion what just went down. i am going to do my best not to jump out the window like it's a early 70s PSA on the dangers of LSD and PCP

feel like i would secretly turn it in to that dude who said he didn't want it when he's not at his desk, and then refuse to accept it back if he tries to give it back. then you can tell the bosses "i turned it in, idk" and do the hands dusting off gesture while turning back to your computer

That's a good solution. Or just drop it because nobody will remember tomorrow that it's something to follow up on.

That whole situation reminds me of working for the state so much that it's making me a little dizzy.

roxy you have a specific genius for bureaucracy.

it's too late to do that, unfortunately. now i'm stuck in the middle of a fight between two offices. as they conduct the pettiest battle imaginable, meanwhile, i'm tasked with drafting up my duties from last year and getting signatures from both offices.

THE FORM IS BLANK

I'm telling you. Just don't do it. Say you can't get to it today and then everybody will forget.

agree

i agree in theory but in real life i've received 4 different emails about this from 3 different offices in the past 30 minutes and i can hear people arguing about it in a nearby room

i seriously can't do this much longer. a lot of people helped me out to get this job transfer but i don't think i'm going to make it to the year mark

patiently awaiting theformisblank.biz

Just hand in a blank form? I'm with Roxy. Email blast all parties and say "no reportable duties, form signed and on X's desk". Shred form. Set fire to office. Leave town.

These assholes need to be addressing each other directly instead of using you as their go-between errand boy.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 10 February 2015 19:32 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This. this happens to me all the fucking time, here's what I would do:

1) Email AND instant message (if possible) all parties, so it's documented multiple ways.

2) Indicate that both parties are providing differing instructions,and politely ask if both parties can meet to discuss, as you are merely the messenger, and it is causing you extra work. Offer to attend if need be, but place the onus on them to solve the problem.

3) State, politely, that you are going to hold off doing anything with the form until you receive further instruction, and attempt to lock down who that instruction will come from (so there's no chance of thinking you're in the clear only to have this happen again).

the same thing happened to me in December. we're customer service, there was a problem with our document imaging system that the Imaging group discovered, and which required an IT team to fix (and a form to be filled out). instead of them doing it themselves, they came to us, asking us to create the form. Ok, fine, I create the form, and the IT group goes "nope, it's set up fine", and closes it. Imaging group says "nuh uh! nuh uh!".

I blew up at the IT group and said in pointed words "can you PLEASE just get together with the IMAGING team and hash this out"? Three hours later it was fixed, after a MONTH of back and forth.

"" "" co-patients

had an exchange with a horrible woman who shouts all night at nurses out of her room as I filled my water jug opposite her door. she's been keeping everyone awake.

"what's going on" she bossed me.

"hospital, mrs, everything's going on"

"you're all money men. money men!"

"makes the world go round mrs"

"fix my pillows!"

(very quietly, just for her) "fuck off" then I tapdanced away

two good co-patients - the one who suddenly in the middle of the night suddenly started going PAIN! PAAAAIIIIN! ooh PAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN! for a v long time. the nurses took her away after about two hours and then she died.

then after a particularly serious operation on ME there was an old dialysis patient opposite who said "have they got rid of it?" and I said "well, they can't be certain but they seem fairly optimistic." and he said "well they would say that it's very unlikely you know" and I called him a po-faced Jeremiah which seemed to satisfy him. I'm fine btw u boring morbid cunt.

this isn't a annoying fellow patients thread I know but whatever.

Fizzles man sending my best wishes for a speedy recovery!

ey fizzles didnt realise you were in: speedy getting out

fizz, was that a reminiscence or are you in? If the latter & you're in London, do you want a visit, supplies, books, etc?

oops sorry it does sound like a reminiscence.

fond reminiscences delivered drunkenly I'm afraid, hence possibly the confusion. gratified at the response tho. feel there must be something minor coming up I can make a meal of to get books and well wishes and will post here with full details when that happens.

get well soon fizzles

sozzles to hear fizzy, feel better

aw you fuckers.

feel there must be something minor coming up I can make a meal of to get books and well wishes and will post here with full details when that happens.

No need to go that much trouble we are a friendly lot round here.

Whassup Fizz? Nowt serious??!?!? Got to keep the Tom Quotient up, man.

sudden onset case of the vapours requiring urgent airlift of good scotch and an advance review copy of the new tom mccarthy

ooh, you bunch of arseoles, I'm sitting here drinking a glass of filthy wine laughing at ilx. I'm fine apart from the usual sketchiness.

and to get it back on track and cap it off I seem to have got mixed up with a v unannoying co-worker who also happens to be technically married.

as my brother said last week - bit of a backward step isn't it? getting pissed then drunk texting a married woman then sitting round all day eating cereal and watching cricket? I said not.

a bottle of laphroaig is whispering sweet nothings beside me, although 4pm is late for a skalk

I once, as an experiment you understand, decided to a decent-sized glass of whisky - macallans ten almost certainly possibly highland park - when I got up. "what's it like I wonder" I said to myself.

after having it I was filled with an enormous creative and social energy. I got ready and went out filled with a thousand plans. when I got to central London I suddenly felt more tired than I had done in my life ever before. and quickly returned home. where I laid on the bed listening in a totally unengaged way to a South Africa - england test.

my new boss is a dick.

ooh ive often wanted to do that, maybe a treble of something nice before a wandering of dublin, that sounds like a nice next day off that does

Och theres nothing worse than booze that wears off at like 3 in the afternoon. Waste of a day.

Yeah the only way out of that is straight through it.

This is why I never drink at lunchtime anymore.