slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

Been away from the news, but ... This opened huge?

sadly,yes
http://variety.com/2015/film/news/fifty-shades-dominating-box-office-as-it-eyes-record-breaking-76-million-opening-1201434159/

The film, which began rolling out internationally on Wednesday, opened at No. 1 in 56 of its 57 territories, including the U.K., France, Germany and Russia. It grossed $38 million on Friday for an early total of $66 million. The film is on track for an international weekend take of $158.3 million, which would make it Universal’s second highest opening weekend of all time, just behind “Fast & Furious 6″ ($160.3 million).

There's a sucker born every minute

The overwhelming consensus = not as terrible as the book.

Gaming the numbers with a five day opening weekend, all markets already in, over a soft mid-Feb slate.

I'm prepared to eat my hat but I'm guessing there aren't enough sweatshirt moms in the world to give this one major legs. Still, enough to start photography on part two I guess. Traets.

Everyone seems to agree than Johnson is good, which is nice. Hopefully this will make studios less afear'd of female-friendly stuff, sex, and R ratings? Trying to accentuate the positive here.

I'm really terrified at what the special edition bluray packaging will be

Xpost

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studios will definitely now have the courage to option massive best-sellers with huge, manifestly undemanding fanbases.

I'd rather see Still Alice for valentine's day

apparently that is also terrible

kind of thinking who Dakota Johnson's parents are, this is not even in the top ten debacles in her life thus far

I dug the Jezebel staff's take on this, where they saw it as a group of eight and divvied up the review by different aspects of the movie:

http://jezebel.com/we-survived-an-opening-night-screening-of-fifty-shades-1685672861

The consensus is that they hadn't, as a group, pre-gamed nearly hard enough, or even approaching the levels of others in the audience

Still Alice appears to have a special kind of middlebrow american bathos that trash like fifty shades would never be at risk of

The whole thing of turning something wholly awful and tragic into a "triumph of the human spirit" is such a big lie

...I meant I'd rather see something wholly depressing like that for VD, not that it's a bad movie (it wasn't)

middlebrow trash v plain trash FITE

hey guys, just saw this yesterday, let me tell you all about it

The film is 2 hours for no reason because almost nothing happens in the film. The characters are really, REALLY underdeveloped (moreso than you would expect even for a film like this); they solely exist in relation to each other but have no personality whatsoever, almost to an impressive extent. The sex was ultimately pretty tame, but some of the sex scenes were reaaaally funny, like when the dude rips off all of her clothes and spins her backwards and then starts to... braid her hair (???).

I was kinda hoping for comically awful but what I expected (and ultimately received) was thorough mediocrity with occasional bits of unintentional humor. Like really though who cares about a boring rich white dude getting off on a quasi-abusive relationship being played off as BDSM, zzzzzzzzz

Was it worth it?

Is it gunna be worth another two outings?

I mean it's terrible but only 35% less masturbatory than the Hobbit threefer

I've only ever met one person who completetely unironically loved the book and admitted so with gusto - one of my sisters in law, and to be cruelly uncharitable, shes an ill-read bogan, so.

find me a person who completely unironically loved the book etc etc

(ps is "ill-read bogan" kind of like a sweatshirt mom?)

My mother-in-law apparently enjoyed all 3 books and was irritated and incredulous when my wife told her they started as Twilight fanfic

It was totally worth it because I went with a really fun friend who was in it for the laughs and we laughed the whole time and made the experience totally worthwhile. If I went with people who wanted to see it because they found it earnestly interesting or erotic I would have been really miserable.

hope the studio and distributors are aware that much of the money earned by this film is ironic money

ironic money spends just as well as sincere money

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fifty-shades-grey-rowdy-women-5169920

xp http://i.imgur.com/Tqw0fqK.gif

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ironic-porn-purchase-leads-to-unironic-ejaculation,1567/

BOM has this already making 8x its budget back, worldwide

did not know danny elfman doing the music here; would love to find out it's just the batman theme over and over

the trailers should show crowd reaction shots like they do with horror movies.

hope the studio and distributors are aware that much of the money earned by this film is ironic money

― A MOOC, what's a MOOC? (Bananaman Begins), Monday, February 16, 2015 4:46 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

most do, but inevitably a few studios will spend big money on some slashpic and watch the results either langish in development hell or be released to critical ridicule and audience indifference

and the sequels will tank

get ready for a lot of overwrought mainstream sex dramas; if someone isn't rebootying last tango, postman always rings twice and body heat right now, it's because the rights are tied up
c what i did there

actually if this leads to more "adult" (or even adult) romantic dramas, then i'm all for it

A friend who works in a theatre just informed me that someone left a whip behind at one screening (though this reeks more of "ironic" viewing than anything).

my sister works at a movie theater, and last night she told me they found a condom on the floor during cleanup. i was like "ew, those 50 shades fans are sick" and she said "no, it was in the theater for the Spongebob movie."

Universal’s second highest opening weekend of all time, just behind “Fast & Furious 6″ ($160.3 million).

"Fast & Furious 6" starring Jenna Jameson et al

xpost

wouldn't this have been more appropriate?
http://www.todaysponge.com/images/press-sponge.jpg

A friend who works in a theatre just informed me that someone left a whip behind at one screening (though this reeks more of "ironic" viewing than anything).

So people are going to this like they would to see the Chippendales strippers or go to a lol naughty sextoy sales night? #sadhousewives

a whip or whippits?

the Phish crossover market

Universal’s second highest opening weekend of all time, just behind “Fast & Furious 6″

lol @ medium of film

can't lie, I'll be buying tickets for the seventh chapter in the F&F franchise

excited about the revival of the EROTIC THRILLER genre

This lacks thrills though right?

its just an EROTIC

I'm sure people find it thrilling in exactly the same way Wild Orchid was thrilling