slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

apparently that is also terrible

kind of thinking who Dakota Johnson's parents are, this is not even in the top ten debacles in her life thus far

I dug the Jezebel staff's take on this, where they saw it as a group of eight and divvied up the review by different aspects of the movie:

http://jezebel.com/we-survived-an-opening-night-screening-of-fifty-shades-1685672861

The consensus is that they hadn't, as a group, pre-gamed nearly hard enough, or even approaching the levels of others in the audience

Still Alice appears to have a special kind of middlebrow american bathos that trash like fifty shades would never be at risk of

The whole thing of turning something wholly awful and tragic into a "triumph of the human spirit" is such a big lie

...I meant I'd rather see something wholly depressing like that for VD, not that it's a bad movie (it wasn't)

middlebrow trash v plain trash FITE

hey guys, just saw this yesterday, let me tell you all about it

The film is 2 hours for no reason because almost nothing happens in the film. The characters are really, REALLY underdeveloped (moreso than you would expect even for a film like this); they solely exist in relation to each other but have no personality whatsoever, almost to an impressive extent. The sex was ultimately pretty tame, but some of the sex scenes were reaaaally funny, like when the dude rips off all of her clothes and spins her backwards and then starts to... braid her hair (???).

I was kinda hoping for comically awful but what I expected (and ultimately received) was thorough mediocrity with occasional bits of unintentional humor. Like really though who cares about a boring rich white dude getting off on a quasi-abusive relationship being played off as BDSM, zzzzzzzzz

Was it worth it?

Is it gunna be worth another two outings?

I mean it's terrible but only 35% less masturbatory than the Hobbit threefer

I've only ever met one person who completetely unironically loved the book and admitted so with gusto - one of my sisters in law, and to be cruelly uncharitable, shes an ill-read bogan, so.

find me a person who completely unironically loved the book etc etc

(ps is "ill-read bogan" kind of like a sweatshirt mom?)

My mother-in-law apparently enjoyed all 3 books and was irritated and incredulous when my wife told her they started as Twilight fanfic

It was totally worth it because I went with a really fun friend who was in it for the laughs and we laughed the whole time and made the experience totally worthwhile. If I went with people who wanted to see it because they found it earnestly interesting or erotic I would have been really miserable.

hope the studio and distributors are aware that much of the money earned by this film is ironic money

ironic money spends just as well as sincere money

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fifty-shades-grey-rowdy-women-5169920

xp http://i.imgur.com/Tqw0fqK.gif

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ironic-porn-purchase-leads-to-unironic-ejaculation,1567/

BOM has this already making 8x its budget back, worldwide

did not know danny elfman doing the music here; would love to find out it's just the batman theme over and over

the trailers should show crowd reaction shots like they do with horror movies.

hope the studio and distributors are aware that much of the money earned by this film is ironic money

― A MOOC, what's a MOOC? (Bananaman Begins), Monday, February 16, 2015 4:46 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

most do, but inevitably a few studios will spend big money on some slashpic and watch the results either langish in development hell or be released to critical ridicule and audience indifference

and the sequels will tank

get ready for a lot of overwrought mainstream sex dramas; if someone isn't rebootying last tango, postman always rings twice and body heat right now, it's because the rights are tied up
c what i did there

actually if this leads to more "adult" (or even adult) romantic dramas, then i'm all for it

A friend who works in a theatre just informed me that someone left a whip behind at one screening (though this reeks more of "ironic" viewing than anything).

my sister works at a movie theater, and last night she told me they found a condom on the floor during cleanup. i was like "ew, those 50 shades fans are sick" and she said "no, it was in the theater for the Spongebob movie."

Universal’s second highest opening weekend of all time, just behind “Fast & Furious 6″ ($160.3 million).

"Fast & Furious 6" starring Jenna Jameson et al

xpost

wouldn't this have been more appropriate?
http://www.todaysponge.com/images/press-sponge.jpg

A friend who works in a theatre just informed me that someone left a whip behind at one screening (though this reeks more of "ironic" viewing than anything).

So people are going to this like they would to see the Chippendales strippers or go to a lol naughty sextoy sales night? #sadhousewives

a whip or whippits?

the Phish crossover market

Universal’s second highest opening weekend of all time, just behind “Fast & Furious 6″

lol @ medium of film

can't lie, I'll be buying tickets for the seventh chapter in the F&F franchise

excited about the revival of the EROTIC THRILLER genre

This lacks thrills though right?

its just an EROTIC

I'm sure people find it thrilling in exactly the same way Wild Orchid was thrilling

I remember my parents going to see Wild Orchid. A year or so later, when it hit cable, I snuck downstairs late at night to watch some of it and was pretty much like "so, this is what adults find hot?!"

Thanks to winning a VCR circa 84/85 at a fundraiser raffle, my father treated the entire family to some uncomfortable family movie nights with movies like Body Heat and 9 1/2 Weeks. My takeaway was that my dad is super shameless and a total hero.

Way to go dad

So, basically, this movie is book one, and there will doubtless be three eventually.

Ok, I have now read more of this thread.

Basically, Stevie D's review is otm.

they're going to break the third book out in to three separate movies though

The desolation of SM

applause

50 Shades of Armond: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/413741/50-shades-dull-armond-white

Enterprises such as 50 Shades of Grey and Gone Girl, designed to exploit modern moral confusion, also mean to rationalize political disorientation. Anastasia and Grey’s sadomasochistic love/hate symbolizes contemporary bewilderment regarding capitalist politics. Rich, empowered men like Grey are shown to lead and seduce us, while a new consumerist myth (replacing rugged individualism) suggests that our naïve affection — the opposite of buyer’s remorse — can redeem them, just as Bill Clinton has been redeemed and sanctioned by the mainstream media.

I think he is getting at something but not getting all the way there