Your 2016 Presidential Candidate Speculation Thread

cruz is kinda hard to judge cause its unclear what his end game is
yeah, with him it's tough to tell whether he lusts for THE PURE ULTIMATE POWER!!!!! or if he actually wants to bring about a permanent conservative wet dream state. probably both!

or if he just wants to set himself up on the conservative speaking/think tank/media circuit post elective office

his actions make most sense in that light imho

like hes just trying to become a conservative icon not actually govern

if he thinks he can actually become president with this approach then he is in at least one way dumb

i think the conservative speaking/think tank/media circuit is his backup option, but he still lusts for the real ultimate power. the conservative icon thing may not end up working this cycle, but from his position it might be his best chance for eventual blood-seeping-through-the-teeth power. he's not going to run as a "moderate", that's for sure. instead he establishes himself as the true conservative. 8-12 years pass, and suddenly it's morning in america again, blood starts shooting from his pores and his eyes roll backward, and suddenly he's the president. or, much more likely, he's just raking in the $$ speaking at conferences and appearing on foxnewsHD+12 or whatever it's called at the time.

yeah prob true good point

Ted Cruz is a true believer who has a lucrative second career in conservative media if President Bush doesn't appoint him to SCOTUS.

Ben Carson, et al run for president so that their agents have leverage when negotiating w/conservative media.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/ted-cruz-liberty-speech-president

...He won easy applause lines with calls for a flat tax, "abolishing" the IRS, securing the border, upholding "the sanctity of human life" and protecting gun rights.

And he had more easy applause lines, such as, "Our rights, they don't come from man, they come from God almighty." And: "The purpose of the Constitution is to ... as Thomas Jefferson put it, to bind the mischief of government." And: "My father gave his life to Jesus Christ, and God transformed his heart." And: "Imagine signing legislation repealing every word of Obamacare."

...Preceding his speech was a Christian rock band which entertained the smattering of reporters and students who arrived early. Many were waving miniature American flags, which were being handed out as students walked into the auditorium. But there was hardly a pro-Cruz consensus in the room.

"It's just a cool opportunity to see him here," said Emily Smith, 21, a junior, before the speech. "Someone who's potentially going to be the next president." But she wasn't ready to support him.

FINALLY, someone in the room that is able to cut through the bullsh-

"I haven't decided. I mean, I think he's great, I think what he stands for is great."

oh

Shouldn't there be a crude rocketship embedded in Cruz's right eye?

Massive lol at this, plus I just misread Santorum as Scrotum, so my morning's off to a good start.

http://www.thefancarpet.com/uploaded_assets/images/gallery/3657/The_Dead_Zone_34083_Medium.jpg

Conservatives Don't Get the Internet, Part One Billion: http://www.tedcruz.com/

read some interesting patter out there that cruz declaring his candidacy outright, not declaring an exploratory committee, is a sign of weakness, that he's lost the invisible primary, and has nothing to do but make a big (and ultimately pointless) splash

and what has his whole career been but making a big and ultimately pointless splash?

wouldn't it be funny if Hillary actually announced she wasn't running after all

idk if the "is he cynical or stupid" circle can be squared, but i do think he is a true believer. it's an article of faith that the country is really super conservative, and if republicans would just be that, then they'll win. the version of history only goes back to the 70s: reagan and GW were right wing and won, HW, mccain and mitt were pussies and lost.

i really think he thinks that just getting out there are fucking shit up to the ultra maximum is just what you do before history breaks around you and you're president. his dad is cuckoo btw.

wouldn't it be funny if Hillary actually announced she wasn't running after all

― Οὖτις, Monday, March 23, 2015 12:13 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

would so love this

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--ir7LW1Bq--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/yg2uspphwetez9tvt4qz.jpg

this guys whole body language/facial expression is so out there

its so unnatural

btw is was a mandatory assembly lmao

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wqOI__cKQHA/0.jpg

he looks like he's getting ready for take-off

"if I just flap my arms hard enough, like so..."

is there a picture of Cruz where he DOESN'T look like he's about to burst into tears

Well, maybe in this picture when he went by the name "Bill Hicks".

http://i.imgur.com/GMZkhia.jpg

He looks like Peter Boyle as the monster in Young Frankenstein in that photo from today's announcement assembly.

Maybe people think Ted Cruz is smart because his peers really are total morons?

did you know he went to Harvard, where dumb people are not allowed

Pat Robertson: 'I Wish Reagan Would Rise From The Dead'

http://www.theonion.com/video/zombie-reagan-raised-from-grave-to-lead-gop,14385/

wait Reagan's dead?

You have to remember that Al Gore has (had?) an IQ around 140 or 145. Cruz is just an awkward bastard with an elevated IQ score, which doesn't imply any ability to think clearly about something as complex as politics and how society works. Such a high IQ tends to be a disability in politics more often as not, in that it encourages airy abstraction in a realm that favors a strong sense of the concrete. Cruz is no Tip O'Neill or LBJ. His idea of useful tactics is just craziness and the US Senate is about the only place that would tolerate him for lone.

if HRC is the Meryl Streep version from Demme's Manchurian Candidate remake I'm pretty sure Cruz and at least two of the other DOA candidates are in her employ/thrall.

Maybe people think Ted Cruz is smart because his peers really are total morons?

Supposedly he was one of the greatest debater in Harvard Law history and Dershowitz says he was the smartest student he ever had. I think this says a lot about Dershowitz and debating.

Please study the three-panel painting in Cruz's office: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/06/30/the-absolutist-2

I know Cruz's father's type well:

Pastor Cruz, as he is often called, is not currently affiliated with any church or denomination, but he is a sought-after surrogate for his son on the campaign trail. In his speeches and talks, he operates as a kind of political id for Ted, much as Ted operates as the id of the Republican Party. Rafael attacks Obama and the Democrats with a religious intensity. In many of these talks, Rafael draws explicit parallels between Fidel Castro and Barack Obama as twin betrayers of the concepts of “hope and change.”

is there a picture of Cruz where he DOESN'T look like he's about to burst into tears

I always get a strong sad hobo clown vibe from him
http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTI2NTIxNjQ3NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMjE4MTQ2._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg

But he also makes me think of the weird giant-headed version of Al Jolson from an old Bugs Bunny cartoon
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H7_3XKUG_5U/TxJYcU1dwbI/AAAAAAAAMJ4/fDg2cfl000g/s400/OUTTA%2BWOIK.png

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CAzfM-oWgAEXIR6.jpg

If this presidenting thing doesn't pan out he's got a great future with Cover Girl.

I think this says a lot about Dershowitz and debating.

― Matt Armstrong, Monday, March 23, 2015 2:04 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ya formal debating is such goofy shit, predict cruz will be over confident at a primary debate and get majorly owned by someone pulling an unfrozen caveman president routine on him

GISing Cruz is an exercise in "that's the most punchable"... wait, no THAT one...

lol: http://www.sfgate.com/news/science/article/Jerry-Brown-calls-Ted-Cruz-unfit-to-run-for-6151398.php

(I would probably vote for Jerry)

Please study the three-panel painting in Cruz's office: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/06/30/the-absolutist-2

― guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, March 23, 2015 2:07 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that is really something jfc

"my desires are unconventional"

um

http://www.slate.com/content/dam/slate/blogs/browbeat/2013/06/14/troy_mcclure.jpg.CROP.rectangle3-large.jpg

or if he just wants to set himself up on the conservative speaking/think tank/media circuit post elective office

― lag∞n, Monday, March 23, 2015 9:56 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Did Will Forte ever try him on SNL? Is Forte still there? That seems like a perfect match. For me, Cruz's voice is weirdly compelling (and has the most potential for laughs).

Just did a "Ted Cruz Will Forte" search, and it looks like a few thousand people had the same idea.

forte has a new show called last man on earth he is a genius btw

Fey came back to be Palin, so it's within the realm of possibility.

palin was a vp candidate though, cruz is gonna be one guy in an extremely crowded debate field