Your 2016 Presidential Candidate Speculation Thread

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if elected she will lay off all gov't employees AND lose billions of dollars

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 5 May 2015 16:13 (nine years ago) link

she'd merge the USA with AOL or something

jennifer islam (silby), Tuesday, 5 May 2015 16:16 (nine years ago) link

United States of American Online

jennifer islam (silby), Tuesday, 5 May 2015 16:16 (nine years ago) link

everyone gets 1000 free minutes of USAOL

jennifer islam (silby), Tuesday, 5 May 2015 16:16 (nine years ago) link

after that it's $199.95 a month

jennifer islam (silby), Tuesday, 5 May 2015 16:16 (nine years ago) link

Huckabee!

jennifer islam (silby), Tuesday, 5 May 2015 17:46 (nine years ago) link

"We will deal with jihadis just like we deal with deadly snakes," he said.

We're going to hold those people up to our face and start speaking in tongues?

pplains, Tuesday, 5 May 2015 18:36 (nine years ago) link

Kinda convinced Huckabee's only real asset has ever been his disarmingly folksy last name, without which he would really just be a fringier, base-baitinger Lamar Alexander.

Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 5 May 2015 18:38 (nine years ago) link

*base solo*

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 5 May 2015 18:44 (nine years ago) link

irl lol

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 5 May 2015 18:46 (nine years ago) link

I think Fiorina is probably too close in appeal to Jeb - the business-friendly, moderate end of the Republican party - to get much traction. I have a feeling, given the way the GOP apparatchiks have tightened up the primary calendar to prevent a repeat of the 2012 dog and pony show, once this thing gets going (many months from now) it's going to quickly boil down to a two-way race, so the scramble from now till then will be to see who can define themselves as the anti-Jeb.

o. nate, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 01:25 (nine years ago) link

She was a fucking horrible CEO and she hasn' a chance.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 01:31 (nine years ago) link

Well, I don't really know how good she was a CEO, but I kind of doubt most voters will either. She was a CEO of a big corporation, so assuming she didn't get fired amidst a sex scandal or something like that, she'll probably be able to run on her business experience. Still I agree she's a long shot.

o. nate, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 01:43 (nine years ago) link

Jeb will let the people know.

nickn, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 01:44 (nine years ago) link

she laid off tens of thousands of people, tripled her own salary, and spent way too much money acquiring other, terrible companies. HP's stock dropped by 50%. Her own employees booed her at meetings. She was one of the worst tech CEOs of all time.

Clay, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 01:48 (nine years ago) link

Running ads against fiorina's record is maybe the easiest thing to do in politics.

Clay, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 01:49 (nine years ago) link

She doesn't have a prayer. Gunning for a cabinet post or vp or something.

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 02:05 (nine years ago) link

It will be interesting to see if Jeb will run ads against Fiorina for laying people off and having too high a salary. Seems a bit off-message for a Republican candidate.

o. nate, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 02:11 (nine years ago) link

Populism works in a recession cycle, even if it's complete bullshit.

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 02:16 (nine years ago) link

I doubt she will become enough of a threat that he'd have to consider that anyway. I mean she lost big in her previous California senate race, didn't she? That doesn't seem like the kind of political trajectory that leads to the White House.

o. nate, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 02:16 (nine years ago) link

Failed CEO + failed candidate for senate + no real talk radio chops = doom.

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 02:18 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo_Ejfc5hW8

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 02:19 (nine years ago) link

Only in GOP's Earth-3 can pride in being a "Hewlett Packard CEO" get recognized a a win.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 02:33 (nine years ago) link

Seriously. Working for HP sounds like something you'd only admit during times of extreme emotional distress, most likely while being tortured

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 03:01 (nine years ago) link

corporate record superficially similar to GWB's

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 03:44 (nine years ago) link

Was going to say, didn't we just have a bad CEO as 2-term president?

©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 03:49 (nine years ago) link

current HP marketing focuses on "The Machine," and I have no idea what they're talking about

Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 15:19 (nine years ago) link

Kinda convinced Huckabee's only real asset has ever been his disarmingly folksy last name, without which he would really just be a fringier, base-baitinger Lamar Alexander.

Say "President Huckabee" out loud without laughing. You can't. Nobody else can either. He's not gonna get anywhere.

the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:03 (nine years ago) link

trying saying it while biting down (gently) on your lower lip with your top row of teeth

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:07 (nine years ago) link

haha i love all the "why huckabee could be a serious contender" bullshit pieces around

marcos, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:08 (nine years ago) link

wait seriously?

lol

DJP, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:11 (nine years ago) link

i've always bought huckabee as a candidate. idk if he can win the nomination but i think he has the right pieces in place (religious economic populism) to make a run for it. obv he can't beat hillary but who can?

Mordy, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:12 (nine years ago) link

Reagan.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:14 (nine years ago) link

my thoughts essentially ^

Mordy, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:15 (nine years ago) link

Huckabee is slightly more credible as a candidate than Sally Langston, the fictional former vice president on Scandal

DJP, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:15 (nine years ago) link

I would be glad to see him if I was at a Cracker Barrel and something was wrong w my order and he was a manager and came to the table and apologized and gave me a free slice of pie.

©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:16 (nine years ago) link

i think the ideal president for a lot of americans could be described as a competent cracker barrel manager

Mordy, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:18 (nine years ago) link

that can play the Seinfeld theme song

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:21 (nine years ago) link

Thanks for the new dn!

Competent Cracker Barrel manager (Dan Peterson), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:23 (nine years ago) link

I can totally see Huckabee as a friendly and more than competent Cracker Barrel manager who fucks busboys in the meat locker.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:23 (nine years ago) link

for all-time:

Huckabee is the type of dude who would invite you to dinner, ask you all kinds of sincere, heartfelt questions about your family and your job, offhandedly mention the lethal dose of cyanide he put in your lemonade, and then offer you a nice slice of fresh-out-the-oven homemade pie.

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Tuesday, November 13, 2012 1:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pplains, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 16:43 (nine years ago) link

the demand for billions of 'column inches' over the next 18 months (FOR FUCKS SAKE) means everyone is 'a serious contender'

except Sanders of course, that's been settled.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 17:34 (nine years ago) link

obv he can't beat hillary but who can?

hillarnixon can destroy hillarnixon

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 17:38 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/faO6v7J.jpg

pplains, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 17:51 (nine years ago) link

Bernie Sanders is a serious contender and/or lock for me to vote for in a primary, at least. I'm hoping that since he's not actually trying to win, but to force the discussion, that he'll stay in through the whole thing... maybe not spending buttloads everywhere, but just insisting on being in debates, or there being debates. It'll still be treated as a Hillary coronation, but at least there would be a guy on TV arguing the merits of socialism, regulation, taxation to accomplish collective goals, etc.

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 18:21 (nine years ago) link

Like, a Bill Bradley, but better. And maybe more effective than a Kucinich, just because it won't be as crowded of a field and thus hopefully he won't be reduced to getting to say two lines per eight-candidate debate. The news was sort of forced to report on Bradley's campaign, if half-heartedly, and to air long (perhaps unwatched) one-on-one debates with Gore.

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 18:24 (nine years ago) link

at least there would be a guy on TV arguing the merits of socialism, regulation, taxation to accomplish collective goals

and there's the rub. You know what good that ultimately does? ZERO. You know what good Bradley ultimately did in 2000? ZERO. (And I held my nose and voted for him.)

If Hil is elected she'll do whatever the fuck, like Sanders never existed.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 18:32 (nine years ago) link

I wouldn't say zero but I also wd not locate the value of such a candidacy in some imagined 'shift' it would induce in Hillary. I just think it would enlarge the scope of possibilities for people watching who have never imagined the possibilities of a government not crippled by the naturalization of Reagan tax levels and spending/regulatory priorities, wherein Democrats are permitted to argue over something beyond how to vaguely direct the scraps left over to the 'middle class.' Hillary will obviously remain Hillary.

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 19:42 (nine years ago) link

those possibilities, in this country, are dead and buried.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 19:45 (nine years ago) link

Bernie's filling a role that's been around at least as long as I've been alive, let's not pretend his candidacy represents any kind of structural change. I'm glad he's there and I'll probably vote for him but this is nothing new.

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 19:45 (nine years ago) link


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