Your 2016 Presidential Candidate Speculation Thread

aren't all politicians by definition celebrities?

morbs i got u this

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--VzTlgLTJ--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/1282476397264601230.jpg

http://deadspin.com/here-are-some-photos-of-chris-christie-playing-softball-1709013820

are those perry's sons? i saw chatter on twitter that he was "flanked by SEALs"

yeah idk i was just assuming

"navy seal twins" have to be the perfect right-wing culture heroes that liberals have never ever heard of

lmao yup

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Luttrell

He began training for the U.S. Navy SEALs at the age of fifteen, with U.S. Army veteran Billy Shelton, who lived near Luttrell's home. He trained every day with his twin brother, Morgan, and others who aspired to join the U.S. Navy and other Special Operations Forces. Shelton trained them using various weight and endurance exercises. After high school, Luttrell attended Sam Houston State University, where he joined the Delta Tau Delta fraternity.[5]

Manchurian SEAL

the mythology around and worship of navy seals is one of the dumbest things about america

yeah what other culture on earth mythologizes its elite heroes :p

Elite warriors I meant. Hero obv very open to debate

my wife had a friend from high school who had an extra-marital affair with a NAVY Seal and wrote a thinly-veiled novel about it it was gross

lmao

I hear the women just go mad over their flippers

like they would have illicit sex and then he would be all "I have to go on a top secret mission!" *disappears out a window and into the night*

hahhaha nice

prob was not even in the military

actually a night manager at Arby's

playing horsesauce

wait, i remember this show from the 80s. the mom and dad had secret powers they were trying to hide.

http://i.imgur.com/qoHXf79.jpg

morbs, you realize the world is doomed no matter who we elect, right?

the world will be fine u guys dont worry too much about the world

like they would have illicit sex and then he would be all "I have to go on a top secret mission!" *disappears out a window and into the night*

― Οὖτις,

wouldn't it have been better to say this before he mounted her?

good stuff hillary http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/wp/2015/06/04/hillary-leans-hard-into-the-battle-over-voting

the BACHELOR

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/06/01/politics/lindsey-graham-2016-bachelor/

xp just fold voting registration into selective service registration imo easy-peasy yw usa government

huh never knew there were gay rumors about Buchanan

surprised that no one has mentioned that perry's announcement included a remix of a country-rap song

video here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/rosiegray/rick-perry-has-a-rapcountry-song-about-rick-perry

more pulitzer-worthy coverage here: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/rick-perry-launches-presidential-campaign-with-rap-country-song-20150604

“Rick Perry supporter, let’s protect our border,” the rap part says. “To hell with anyone who don’t believe in the USA / Rick Perry all the way.”
“I won’t back up / I don’t back down / I been raised up / To stand my ground / Take my job / But not my gun / Tax my check till I ain’t got none / ‘Cept for the good lord up above / I answer to no one,” the country part says.
“Give me my right to vote / My right to tote / The weapon of my choice, don’t censor my voice,” goes the second rap verse.
A spokesperson for Perry didn’t immediately return a request for comment about the song.

Give me my right to vote / Texas' voter ID laws, signed by Rick Perry, are among the most restrictive to minorities and the poor in the nation

sorry not sure that scans or rhymes

wasn't John Rich available?

sorry not sure that scans or rhymes

did you miss the "MY right" there

what if a countryrap remix was so good that it took off on the charts, and people across the country couldn't stop listening to it and talking about it, and the performer got invited on all the talk shows and did a SNL double-performance where they both hosted and performed the song, leading to a dramatic rise in the popularity of the candidate in rural areas and cities alike, and the election was a landslide, and the candidate named both the rapper and country singer co-vice presidents, and then they came up with a sequel to the song that took off internationally and led to world peace?

I been raised up / To stand my ground

Taking a leaf from the Zimmerman songbook, I see (and I ain't talking Bob).

So basically their entire identity is based on owning a firearm and little else, got it.

I was like that for a week or two w some G.I. Joe toys when I was 6.

the world will be fine u guys dont worry too much about the world

― lag∞n, Thursday, June 4, 2015 12:06 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Environmentalism is an insane utilitarian philosophy based on the idea that human existence is important somehow

well it is important to me

Right, exactly.

http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2015/06/what-do-so-many-obvious-losers-think-they-can-be-president

I'm....impressed HRC's Texas speech on voting rights was as angry and specific as possible:

http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/04/politics/hillary-clinton-voting-rights-texas/

http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2015/06/what-do-so-many-obvious-losers-think-they-can-be-president

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/02/TheSecretLogo.jpg/220px-TheSecretLogo.jpg

digging that botched URL as "What? Do so many obvious losers think they can be President?"

I'm....impressed HRC's Texas speech on voting rights was as angry and specific as possible:

it's a good campaign move - costs her nothing/obliges her not to do anything in particular and makes her opponents look bad and burnishes her image w key voting groups

unusually blunt WashPo front page right now

http://i.imgur.com/zgTONAO.jpg

lol

Don't be in a car with the Rubio family.

how do you fail a remedial driving course

lack of positive role models

are politicians uniquely awful people, or are most people like this and it just doesn't become a matter of public curiosity?

Hillary's all "What are there, eight of 'em? 16 of 'em? Fuck it, I'll take them all on and Bernie O'Malley too!"