iyo did facebook ruin the internet?

Turns out in recent weeks the guy I was best friends with and lived with all through university is a big Tory and pro-privatisation fan. Who'd have known? Not me because we never discussed politics at uni.

there are definitely no winners when you find yourself judging perfectly nice people for being bad at the internet

Especially since there are probably lots of people who only post non-terrible stuff and are up to speed with "being good at internet" but, e.g., read terrible books or are cruel to their children and spouses or are otherwise bad at life in ways that aren't visible on the screen.

they should post more updates about being cruel to their children and spouses

I used to post more stuff about my life but I feel like I'm one of the only people on my feed who does, and so it now feels awkward, naked. I'd prefer to see just semi-self-aware reflections on mundane things but in 2015 people have outsourced that to think pieces imo

Nb I don't know how to Twitter maybe that's what I really want

'X is a mutual friend'

… of Y, who you don't know at all, and you, who you are

i'm sure all my friends are mutual friends of me and all the fuckers they know that i don't, yeah, but what does that have to do with me

grrrrr

yes

I used to post more stuff about my life but I feel like I'm one of the only people on my feed who does, and so it now feels awkward, naked.

yeah there's a void now in social networking sites - a smaller more private network where you only share stuff with actual friends.

what if path was actually a good idea but was five years too early

man if only there was a way to share stuff with actual friends

yesterday someone posted an article criticizing the natural sunscreen Jessica Alba's company put out. I was fighting an almost 103 degree fever/bacterial infection and bored so I found a similar article supporting the one he posted and attached it. His post in response a mere MINUTE later was: "I've never understood why people respond or attach a link to a FB post without liking it first. It's always felt like a social faux paus."

sounds like a cool fucking dude

tell him you don't like his dumb shit because you don't... like his dumb shit

and unfriend his ass

one of the benefits of being sick this week = sleeping when I'd normally be FBing

I've never understood why people respond or attach a link to a FB post without liking it first

lol this statement has actually really wound me up. what kind of whore for likes is this guy

yeah that pisses me off too, moreso for the fact that it implies there's some sort of unwritten etiquette being infringed upon for facebook. it doesn't even make sense. like did i miss an emily post blog or

reminds me of the local metalhead that was like "man I can't believe I have 550+ FB friends and only 95 likes for my band's page, guess you aren't as supportive as I thought"

xp well, there is (nature of the beast of sociality)

but to make a thing of it jesus

Um WHAT? You dont't have to feel a warm and fuzzy emotion about a post to have a response to it.

That doesn't even make sense.

maybe it's like, you're up in his business, adding content to his facebarf, and not even the… reciprocity? toll-paying? obscure signal that you read the content or are appropriately aligned with it? to deserve to post your own??

Okay I get that the functional use of the like has shifted to be a general acknowledgement sometimes but that is just obsesso.

I get a bit irrationally angry at people who click "like" on everything tbh. I see it as the opposite of polite. It comes over as "I cant even be arsed engaging with you, I'll just click this button so I look like I'm making an effort. PS - I'm not."

OH! and:
"man I can't believe I have 550+ FB friends and only 95 likes for my band's page, guess you aren't as supportive as I thought"

This SHITS ME. Such passive aggressiveness, and I have a few friend-in-bands, and gig organiser types, who pull this shit all the time "no one supports the SCENE MAN".

i got appropriately called out by a friend recently for getting mad when she didn't respond to a series of links i thought she would like via pm. we have exchanged stuff before and it wasn't just random, it was stuff that i thought she would like based on her proclaimed twitter enthusiasms. i saw she had "seen" the message and not responded for about half a day and i was like "ok well that's just RUDE" and got a bit pass-agg abt it and she wrapped my knuckles over it. we're not even really friends irl but share several similar interests and fb friends. i tried to excuse it at first but then i was like ykw i'm just being an asshole and apologised. still f that "seen" function sucks and its potential for all sorts of tension regarding acknowledgement or reciprocity. there almost is an etiquette there but there isn't and you can't or are not supposed to bring it up. which is diff from the guy who duly expects a courtesy like before commenting but cringily similar.

i was severely sleep deprived at the time so not really thinking clearly about the possibilities for lack of response and most importantly that she had absolutely no obligation to respond, but it didn't make me feel like any less of a dick. she called me out on twitter too (except not by name) then took down the tweet but not before a few of her followers were like "omg rude". that sucked, even if i thought it had probably happened to them in some way and the way she had characterised it made it seem more like an unsolicited spamming instead of a continuation of occasional engagement via entertaining stuff. gah i'm terrible at engaging w ppl on the internet sometimes.

still f that "seen" function sucks and its potential

half the time people don't like stuff is cos FB LIke invites often get shipped off to Narnia where you forget about em.

also..any post that begins "IF U DON'T LIKE IT, U CAN DEFRIEND ME, BUT...."

haven't used facebook in 10 months. major depression? way down. my anxiety disorder? way, way down.

i don't really see using it as a sustainable way of communicating anymore. it only brings out feelings of isolation, dread and listlessness. the people who swear by it as the utmost form of social interaction in the modern age are also just playing into their own bullshit for the most part

this all sounds pretty cynical but i'd just like to reiterate how relaxing it is to not have that ball and chain on my ankle anymore

I don't know many people who proclaim love for Facebook, there just seem to be those who are free and those who wish they were free.

yeah, i wouldn't say there's much enthusiasm around staring at what is essentially the internet equivalent of a yellow phone book. it's more like "well i've built this empire... let's just lay in it"

which could be perceived as selfish among other things. or maybe just this stagnancy people my age or younger have these days to stay put. especially if you're not living in a city

i can't help but long for things to be more free all around

guys its just Facebook I mean rly

like

I find myself posting up a lot of opinion / current affairs / political /ideological stuff but forget that there's an audience of 800+ on my feed who maybe don't appreciate or simply aren't interested in any of that. But as a way to exorcise certain demons or get things off my chest with regards to how I feel about the world, it's too tempting. Plus these are topics that don't get hashed out as easily face to face - either people avoid politics talk or they're too polite to give thoughtful or challenging replies etc.

yeah those people probably aren't getting you in their news feed though

true. the other thing is i do a shitload of event and band spammage on my feed. like, it's relevant because it's local, and relevant to my life because it's a project i'm involved with - a band thing or a night i'm putting on. but i wouldnt' be surprised if a lot of people have unfollowed me either because of lefty soapboxing or unadulterated plugging.

surely you have all seen this popular internet image:

http://s5.favim.com/orig/140708/audrey-hepburn-breakfast-couple-facebook-Favim.com-1898667.jpg

hahahahaha

i don't understand the 'likes' a disturbing/sad/bad news link gets. why would i 'like' an article about a family of 5 killed in a house fire?

pls to change 'i love you' to 'i love it when a plan comes together' on that img thx

Sometimes my bf clicks like on miserable posts of mine but he's taking the piss and I know he is, the scamp.

Do "life events" get prioritized in terms of showing up more frequently/prominently in fb feeds?

yes, posting 'congratulations' is a way to juice a post in the algorithm

i think i might start posting about shows by my band as "life events" then

and if "everyone" starts doing this, then what will the algorithm do?

Yeah I have a few unfollowed friends who still show in my feed when the post is about wedding anniversary, death or similar. How the %^$% it knows...

My neice, the other day - got her drivers licence. How and why would FB know thats worth showing me when I hid her posts? All shes doing is holding up an L plate with "oh nooooo" underneath.

haven't used facebook in 10 months. major depression? way down. my anxiety disorder? way, way down.

i don't really see using it as a sustainable way of communicating anymore. it only brings out feelings of isolation, dread and listlessness. the people who swear by it as the utmost form of social interaction in the modern age are also just playing into their own bullshit for the most part

this all sounds pretty cynical but i'd just like to reiterate how relaxing it is to not have that ball and chain on my ankle anymore

― hackshaw, Wednesday, August 5, 2015 11:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't know many people who proclaim love for Facebook, there just seem to be those who are free and those who wish they were free.

― five six and (man alive), Wednesday, August 5, 2015 11:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i need to get off of FB. would my depression and anxiety vanish altogether? no way to tell, but i'd probably be somewhat happier.

I'm really enjoying the new-ish trend of people posting "life events" like "Ray and Max have been friends for 10 months" though

there just seem to be those who are free and those who wish they were free.

Judging from everything I've read here on ILX, I have never seriously questioned the wisdom of my refusal to join facebook. Of course, it also helps that I have the personal habits of a hermit.

i would say it's beneficial in maybe finding out what you like about the world? or yourself. we're sorta engineered these days to be "plugged in" twenty four seven and if you don't take a break and just fucking think, everything starts becoming overwhelming.

my anxiety has gone down about 90%, and this is coming from a dude who has almost-seven panic attacks a day. all of this has to do with how your living your life currently though, i can only speak for myself.

but yes, i think it's urgent that anyone else feeling this way takes a break.

i quit fb because it was bumming me out about my miserable life compared to all my happening friends, then i got back on it because i was in desperate straits, and since then i've grown to hate it again but barely have any regular social contact and can hardly countenance giving up on its digital crumbs again, plus what if i'm in desperate straits again, i can hardly plead for help if i haven't been juicing the ol social machine at least somewhat

in the period where i had quit it completely i was still relatively tethered to the interweb but way less so than i had been for a good handful of years. way less anxious about it, etc. - i highly recommend escaping if you can