what's the deal with guys who insist on sitting with their legs spread far apart even when they're like sitting in coach on an airplane and there's fuck-all leg room in the row?

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how about "excuse me, could you move in a bit?" as a way to ask somebody to close their legs politely?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Surely the phallus-imposition ("Nobody expects the phallus imposition!") is more aimed at the person sitting opposite - isn't it?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Nono Sterl, going for the "YOU HAVE LUNGS FOR NUTZ" gambit is the most rational response.

I'm imagining the breath support I could manage if I was smuggling lungs in my jeans. FINALLY A USEFUL BODYMOD.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:12 (nineteen years ago) link

"Fuck the diaphragm, breathe from your lungnuts!"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:14 (nineteen years ago) link

"Unfortunately Perry's method of circular breathing required him to sing perched on a swivel chair."

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Sterl: because it's something people get sick of asking for, because when the situation is me sitting and I'm about to be joined on the shared seat I always shift up a bit in acknowledgement/anticipation of sharing. Very few ball-airers do this.

Mark: hahaha yes that's true as well. Nothing like seeing some profusely sweating lawyer with perspiration stains across the gusset of his suit trousers to remind me that HE'S GOT THE PHALLUS.

(we're all at the same place WRT the difference between penii and The Phallus, right?)

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Aha, the penii drops...

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:19 (nineteen years ago) link

That's a phallus-cy.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:20 (nineteen years ago) link

phallus is the mindkiller
phallus is the little death that brings total oblivion
i will face my phallus
i will permit it to pass over me and through me

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Dan: Lungnuts v. Wingnuts FITE!

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Clearly the answer is to wear a short skirt and strap-on while on the tube. So to speak.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Haha "on the tube"!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:21 (nineteen years ago) link

There's a joke about level pegging in there somewhere but...no, it's gone...

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:22 (nineteen years ago) link

My favorites are the guys who SLOUCH REAL LOW and spread their legs out to 120 degrees, like their crotches are Penis Flytraps.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Do they have trousers the same material as the seats?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:28 (nineteen years ago) link

we're all at the same place WRT the difference between penii and The Phallus, right?

Women be the phallus!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 14 June 2004 13:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Sitting with my legs completely paralled gives me the world's WORST leg cramps

erm, hi. as the person sitting next to you who HAS to sit with her legs closed, i gotta say ME FUCKING TOO. thanks for the consideration, pal.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Any time! *stretches out, gets comfortable*

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:22 (nineteen years ago) link

Such pervertalism.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:23 (nineteen years ago) link

and there's a definite double standard here b/c a woman would NEVER EVER EVER get away with sitting legs akimbo; she'd be called a selfish filthy whore and she'd probably get arrested for indecency.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Well yes, if she was sitting with her legs apart and was firing exploding pellets out of her vagina at the people across the aisle, she would most likely get arrested.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:24 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost - In Victorian London, you are correct.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:25 (nineteen years ago) link

you men are all so fucking deluded.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:26 (nineteen years ago) link

see also "racism doesn't exist anymore cuz there's like civil rights now and stuff"

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:29 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes, calling out blatant hyperbole is exactly the same thing as saying that sexism no longer exists. Well done, Marilyn Vos Savant.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:30 (nineteen years ago) link

I dunno, Jody, tell that to the huge pile of shouty obnoxious bitches who were sitting quite all spread out on the subway last night down to Penn Station...they didn't seem to fear arrest. Unfortunately.

couldn't you just ask the person to move over a bit?

― Allyzay, Monday, 14 June 2004 15:31 (nineteen years ago) link

on a plane? no i couldn't.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes, you can, actually.

― Allyzay, Monday, 14 June 2004 15:34 (nineteen years ago) link

"I realize you're airing your lungnuts, but would you mind terribly removing your knee from my right titteh? Thanx and smooches."

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

I HATE YOU AIRPLANE PEOPLE! I HATE YOU SO MUCH I AM AN ANGRY BEAR!

http://www.timnortonart.com/paintings/symbolic/angry-bear.jpg

*LIGHTNING!!!

― ARL (Adrian Langston), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Okay, shooting lightning out of your mouth is WAY more intrusive than sitting with your legs apart.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 June 2004 15:50 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.timnortonart.com/paintings/symbolic/escort.jpg

fly Air Glaucoma

― ARL (Adrian Langston), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

velvet elvis bear art saves the day once again!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:06 (nineteen years ago) link

the best part is that the angry bear picture costs $800! just looking at it is like being pleasured by majestic sloths with fronds in place of their claws

― ARL (Adrian Langston), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:13 (nineteen years ago) link

I want that bear painting to be on the cover of my album someday.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:20 (nineteen years ago) link

i only do this when i am wearing a kilt.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:24 (nineteen years ago) link

i'm glad you're not ashamed of your caledonian roots

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:25 (nineteen years ago) link

altho judging by the size of your sporran, perhaps you should be

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:26 (nineteen years ago) link

caledonian "root"

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:27 (nineteen years ago) link

i'm often found tossing my caber

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:27 (nineteen years ago) link

ha ha, or...MASTURBATING!

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:31 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG this thread reminds me of trying to sit on The Beastie at King's Island on Friday and how my legs are so fucking long the only way I fit in the car was to sit kinda side-saddle with my legs overtop of my son's and even then it hurt like shit.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:37 (nineteen years ago) link

tall people: classic or dud?

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Yesterday I was sitting cross-legged and some girl was like "isn't it crushing your balls to sit like that?" and I realized, why yes, yes it was crushing my balls to sit like that, ow.

x-post TALL PEOPLE CLASSIC WORLD BUILT FOR HOBBITS DUD

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Actually, one of the side-effects of my immaculate posture is that I have learned to manage legroom in awkward settings very well; ie not nutbreathing & invading the legroom of others with my infinite chicken legs.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:42 (nineteen years ago) link

However, this requires no slouching/leaning on my part and thus most people confuse me with someone who is far less of a slacker than I am.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:43 (nineteen years ago) link

nutbreathing!!!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Maybe airlines should consider supplying a belt at magazine/sick bag holder level that could be strapped around male/female splayers knees by a dominatrix-type cabin crew member?

― penelope_111, Monday, 14 June 2004 16:44 (nineteen years ago) link

It sucks when my short friends call shotgun and I'm like "Yo b, I got longass legs!"

― ARL (Adrian Langston), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Kate! with broken electronics, dirty drone rock boys can get SICK DELAY.

I know people who use VCR parts as tape delay!

― Jon in R'lyeh (ex machina), Monday, 14 June 2004 16:46 (nineteen years ago) link

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