xps oh lordy @ Trayce's coworker (yes, I have outed myself as posting to a thread without reading it)
― a passing spacecadet, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 09:12 (eight years ago) link
Trayce's co-worker:
http://i.imgur.com/I2oXi1G.jpg
― pplains, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 13:42 (eight years ago) link
Conversations with my co-worker require so much set-up that I feel like I have to establish that we are employees in a law firm, working on litigation.
One simple question -- Should I make Document X part of Exhibit 8? -- took over 10 fucking minutes to slog through.
― Je55e, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 14:56 (eight years ago) link
I established early on that we were talking about Exhibit 8. I had Exhibit 8 displayed on my monitor. After SO MUCH TALKING I said, again, "What I'm asking is, should Document X be part of the exhibit?"
He said, "What exhibit?"
― Je55e, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 14:59 (eight years ago) link
was just in the bathroom, empty except for me. dude comes in, walks past the two unused urinals, proceeds to piss in a stall, door open, with the seat down. thanks, dirtbag
― goole, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:01 (eight years ago) link
"Exhibit 8 - the one we have been talking about. Should this document be part of that exhibit?"
"Uh, well -- I don't understand what you're asking."
I swear to God I'm not exaggerating or making this up.
xp sorry I might stop posting soon
― Je55e, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:01 (eight years ago) link
"hey, there's an opportunity to make a men's restroom even nastier. i should act on that."
― 1996 ball boy (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:01 (eight years ago) link
je55e i'm going to make an executive call and just advise that document X should be part of Exhibit 8. if someone complains just say that earlier this morning you heard notice of an executive call saying that it was ok.
― 1996 ball boy (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:02 (eight years ago) link
I feel like I have to establish that we are employees in a law firm, working on litigation.
I recognize this surreal feeling. I'm at school, but our lab has no lab manager and lots of undergrads helping out, so the grad students do a lot of admin and managing people's work. The worst offender is a fellow grad student who has been in a lab an entire year. Next time she says 'I'm confused right now' I might start with 'We are grad students, running a lab'.
― ljubljana, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:04 (eight years ago) link
Backing Karl here, good call imo
― ljubljana, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:06 (eight years ago) link
the state of toilets in offices really is a damning indictment of human behaviour
― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:06 (eight years ago) link
I honestly thought he was fucking with me when he said "Which exhibit?" I thought he was joking. It was hard not to get exasperated and whiny.
Karl, when things got really fucking stupid I said, You know, I think it makes more sense to just make it a separate exhibit, but I still had to finish explaining what we had been talking about THE WHOLE TIME.
― Je55e, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:06 (eight years ago) link
FUCK what a way to start the day. Looking forward to the actually complicated discussion we have to have soon.
Thanks, thread, for letting me blow off steam.
― Je55e, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:07 (eight years ago) link
who the fuck stands up and pisses into a toilet that has the seat down? for fuck's sake, you can kick it upright with your foot if you really have to.
― μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:16 (eight years ago) link
we have a thread where all u inaccurate pissing worriers are wrong on this already
― deejerk reactions (darraghmac), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:17 (eight years ago) link
then again, I did that once and it failed to stay up, I leaned down quickly to catch it with my hand so there wouldn't be a huge CLUNK noise, and the seat somehow hit me in the dick
I am the world's most coordinated man, though
― μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:17 (eight years ago) link
naccurate pissing worriers
NO ONE CAN DEFY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS(except for j.c., RIP)there's gonna be splashback unless your piss has superpowers
― 1997 ball boy (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:25 (eight years ago) link
I leaned down quickly to catch it with my hand so there wouldn't be a huge CLUNK noise, and the seat somehow hit me in the dick
braggin'
― pplains, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:43 (eight years ago) link
:/
― μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:48 (eight years ago) link
fucking lol'ing at my desk at that story.
personally, i don't care if the seat hitting the toilet makes a sonic boom so loud it will blow out all the windows in a three-block radius and permanently deafen several innocent bystanders; i am *not* touching the underside of a work toilet seat.
― AKA Thermo Thinwall (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 16:12 (eight years ago) link
i had a pang of sympathy when i thought maybe he was preventing the world from seeing something weird about his junk.
but nobody was at the urinals. and why did he leave the stall door open.
https://cdn2.scratch.mit.edu/get_image/project/16112046_144x108.png?v=1398475700.0
― goole, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 16:43 (eight years ago) link
On a similar kick to VGs muttering workmate, the guy opposite me (who is actually a v close friend outside of work - I got him the job here) has these weird tics I've never noticed in my 15 years of knowing the guy.
He constantly makes water-drop "poik!" noises with his mouth, and blows raspberries, and sighs and sniffs... and today, he has taken to *growling like an angry dog". I'm... more than a little perturbed.
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, September 23, 2015 4:29 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
haha.
the guy i mentioned above that talks about everything he finds on the intarwebz does a lot of these things. he made a joke about me once and we're not even on friendly terms, so i was taken aback by it. anyway, i couldn't resist and i said, "okay, tourrette's" and it stuck for a long time. a few laughed and i felt bad. i actually don't talk to him anymore even though the "creative team" works in my area, so i still see him.
anyway, this dude must be really young and have a really tough personal life, because out of nowhere in the lunchroom he starts telling me that his brother is in prison and he doesn't know what to do. then he continues to tell me all sorts of personal things about him and his family.
so yeah, this guy does loud, short moans at his desk, says "HA!", talks to himself, picks his nose, pretends he cracks his neck (by moving his head sideways and making a cracking noise with his mouth), and is always taking some type of "brain power vitamin."
there's always a nutter
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 17:59 (eight years ago) link
7AM and some complete wank has chosen to microwave what I assume is fish but what smells like hot cat food in the kitchenette that's thirty feet away from my desk. It socked me in the nose when I went for coffee and now I'm noticing the stench radiating slowly out into the office proper. Nauseating. How do people not know that shit like that isn't okay?
― Sitting In The Ape Chair (Old Lunch), Thursday, 24 September 2015 12:12 (eight years ago) link
because they are stupid and annoying
― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 24 September 2015 12:29 (eight years ago) link
Oh yeah.
― Sitting In The Ape Chair (Old Lunch), Thursday, 24 September 2015 12:35 (eight years ago) link
Certain people have 'stopped smoking'. What this means is that they've stopped smoking their cigarettes, and are now smoking mine. This hasn't yet reached the level of annoyance that merits posting it to this thread, but at some point it will, so I'm posting pre-emptively. For now I am caring and sharing.
― cardamon, Thursday, 24 September 2015 22:17 (eight years ago) link
Boss puts her gum in the office's garbage disposal. B/c she's "an old hippie" and she doesn't want it going to a landfill.
She once put a whole box of barley in the disposal for the same reason, which completely stopped up the drain pipe.
― Je55e, Friday, 25 September 2015 15:10 (eight years ago) link
she has an intriguing idea of how the sewer system works
― μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 25 September 2015 15:12 (eight years ago) link
smdh
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 25 September 2015 16:08 (eight years ago) link
― μpright mammal (mh), Friday, September 25, 2015 3:12 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Her concept of public utilities in general is a topic of great fascination to me, cf the time she could not fathom why her home internet would be out when the electricity to her home was still on.
― carl agatha, Friday, 25 September 2015 16:25 (eight years ago) link
Sounds like the annual confusion I sometimes hear of why the gas heat doesn't work when the electricity goes out.
― pplains, Friday, 25 September 2015 16:51 (eight years ago) link
I heard an interview with a Chicago sewer and water* guy who said that it was slightly greener to put biodegradables down the drain than in the trash, esp b/c they're starting to re-use sludge as fertilizer. But I don't believe she gave it that much thought.
*"Metropolitan Water Reclamation"!
― Je55e, Saturday, 26 September 2015 00:59 (eight years ago) link
She also puts teabags in the disposal. Why not use it to shred documents?
― Je55e, Saturday, 26 September 2015 01:00 (eight years ago) link
i'm surprised she doesnt put her tampons in the disposal
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 26 September 2015 05:28 (eight years ago) link
I had to explain the difference between astrology and astronomy to my teaching assistant on at least 2 different occasions during the previous school term. Now I teach online.
― beamish13, Saturday, 26 September 2015 05:39 (eight years ago) link
heavens!
― goole, Saturday, 26 September 2015 16:13 (eight years ago) link
resident SACW earlier -
opens the fridgerummages aroundshouts"L... L... L... L... FUCKIN LIMA!"
― poster marked "WHITE PPL" (onimo), Thursday, 1 October 2015 15:38 (eight years ago) link
now I love this woman dearly but she has a reputation for being a bit of a slob, and there is this thing that she does where she microwaves food like hash browns or eggs or something but instead of using one of the plates that we have in the plate cabinet, she uses a paper towel (!)
― Ina-Garten-Da-Vida (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, 13 October 2015 19:49 (eight years ago) link
for like kinda moist things!
and then puts the v apparently greasy/wet paper towel right on the counter
― Ina-Garten-Da-Vida (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, 13 October 2015 19:50 (eight years ago) link
bleuch
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 13 October 2015 20:37 (eight years ago) link
had to talk to my boss abt desk-whisperer bcz i'm kinda worried about his mental health. dunno if it will go anywhere but i feel better about being on record that his behaviour is unsettling
i like him but no-one should have to deal with his pent-up nonsense
mr veg said "if you hear a sound kind of like a staple gun just walk straight out of the building immediately" lol but also O_O and :/
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 13 October 2015 20:43 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/kfbteCz.gif
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 13 October 2015 23:42 (eight years ago) link
yep
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 October 2015 02:31 (eight years ago) link
Yeah not funny at all TBH :(
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 14 October 2015 03:34 (eight years ago) link
OMG I have just seen that someone who used to work for me is one of the four in the new 'Driving to Oz' Fosters campaign.
Erm... better not post why he stopped working for me in a public place.
― suffeeciant attreebution (aldo), Friday, 16 October 2015 20:00 (eight years ago) link
just tell us in pig-latin. (also this thread may have been de-indexed?)
― AKA Thermo Thinwall (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 16 October 2015 20:24 (eight years ago) link
I had him fracked for saud (and getting anyone fracked in the sivil cervice is nearly impossible, but facts are facts and is you sign your own clexpenses aims it's difficult to deny you did it deliberately). He went down the route of a clarassment haim and I was minorly old toff for not entirely following porrect crocedures but nothing to orry wover.
― suffeeciant attreebution (aldo), Friday, 16 October 2015 23:50 (eight years ago) link
minorly old toff, going to nick that
I cannot share but I have some baffling stories of really blatant, how on earth did you think no-one would notice, saud (not in my current job I should add)
― kinder, Saturday, 17 October 2015 07:56 (eight years ago) link
he claimed it wasn't him but the forms were covered in his saudi prints
― deejerk reactions (darraghmac), Saturday, 17 October 2015 09:26 (eight years ago) link