why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

You can ride in the high-occupancy lanes if Jesus is yr copilot.

He never has any smokes.

you never [her]

can I just

https://scontent-vie1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xlp1/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/10613108_540055999493159_6468511251066981840_n.jpg?oh=0b12f2eb515aecda569a69de9a9a120c&oe=56C7FA1C

She's too young for you, Shaq!

Nah Blac Chyna's definitely of age

lol just noticed the dick outline fml

how have i never seen this one before? i kinda love it.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b2/a6/11/b2a61184537c2f4615d262bdab0fbfda.jpg

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/1555409_727072497382909_4715884090354690409_n.jpg?oh=b5c2d0370bcd979005c4c5c451dd24f7&oe=56B898B5

so that's where they hid the bodies

Hey, I like this one!

https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/1509272_10153090820248795_8508105365871871070_n.png?oh=b5935cd23dab9a8cfa2142d24474d283&oe=56AD9BB3

http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/

also: http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/post/31988454291/hello-i-would-really-love-to-know-what-the-source

in short, these sound nice and official but they're some dude's art project which doesn't make them less interesting of "true" but it may leave you with mauerbauertraurigkeit

24. Sphinctalissimo. The unclenching of your butthole.

lol that blog was moderately popular for a few years and then that person compiled the words with no context and it blew up because everyone thought they were real. and then a link was added and the blog blew up apparently but i'm pretty sure most everyone still thinks they're real and that's most of the appeal for them.

if there's one thing social media has taught me over the past few years it's that media literacy should be a required class every year k-12 and then a bunch of necessary credits in college and you can't trade in AP points for them

i get rooked every once in awhile but cmon: how hard is it to just do a quick google search to see if a thing is patent bullshit

That came from a usually reliable source and I'm just not the kind of guy to google bs designed to pass the time during the last hour of the work day, but this obviously troubling you guys so sorry

what's the authenticity issue here? It's some guy with some made up words, like Douglas Adams 'Meaning of Liff'- did anyone think they were real words?

https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/11866442_10153008253502267_7517348146980786575_n.jpg?oh=9babcde82b3f8230fbe5b8cd1eeba6f5&oe=56F58883

love everything about it down to the fact that it's a phone screenshot?

SHOW RECEIPTS FOR WHAT
http://assets3.thrillist.com/v1/image/1558900/size/tl-horizontal_main/we-asked-lil-jon-what-he-d-turn-down-for-because-why-not

nothing wrong with the "who run the world girls" scott posted right?

I mean, it's legit funny right?

I guess there are still non-user-generated someecards? Some of these are not bad, more in the spirit of the old someecards:
http://www.someecards.com/ecards/veterans-day/

There's a page called "Gaia's Dancing Indigo Children" that's trolling HARD right now, like a version of Laughapalooza that isn't obviously a joke

https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/12219549_1095141677196837_4142697963235839011_n.jpg?oh=d4f9d4410a7d34df57bd5aedde63c3f9&oe=56B9FD99

https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/12227206_1096845130359825_4562839787750234705_n.jpg?oh=7390092b553635a312c982c419ac2ec3&oe=56F2B352

Are they being serious? With a name like "Gaia's Dancing Indigo Children" I honestly can't tell.

Either way, hats off.

Double bonus points for l'accent aigu used properly!

^^^ I think that proves they're not serious.

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/10426719_10152489045175513_5939836025999646172_n.jpg?oh=c7efa208d85ab7b9e33381ecae44e189&oe=56AF9235

readers digest got weird

pick only one

def the jordans

^^^^yep

who the fuck would pick the gas, is that a reference to something?

gas is expensive

Are they being serious? With a name like "Gaia's Dancing Indigo Children" I honestly can't tell.

― carl agatha, Thursday, November 12, 2015

hmm

https://scontent.fsnc1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/t31.0-8/12184069_1090128527698152_7890512744620798069_o.jpg

that answers question. anyway facebook is a horrible goldmine right now.

I hate smoking weed, but I know plenty of potheads. Infinite free weed means I could sell it to friends at a discount and use the money to purchase gas & sneakers.

i would choose sex. my demand for weed already saturated at my current income, never sought jordans, don't have a car

if i could have sex with whoever i want whenever i want, i would be able to seduce entire armies and blackmail the pope and the president with threats of our public love making on worldwide television. my absolute power would give me dominion of the globe, so i think i'm gonna go with the mind control option over free sneakers

Ugh the memesters (inevitably) caught on to the Friday 13th thing

man i was thinking free weed cuz you would be able to monopolize an emerging industry that will probably be legal nationwide within twenty years (and even then it was 50/50 cuz man kerry washington alone) but forks makes a very very good point.

sex w/ whomever you want whenever you want could be a genie trick, tho - like, if you just randomly think about having sex with someone but weren't going to do anything about poof they appear and you've gotta stop everything and have sex right then and there

lol that reminds me of that louis ck line about if every time someone made the jerkoff motion they had to finish to completion

i'll be honest most of the time i randomly think about having sex w/ someone it's someone i definitely want to have sex with. like maybe an estelle getty could work her way in i guess but it's generally rachel weiszs all the way down. plus in that scenario i've just solved the riddle of teleportation.

there is a quite good Nabokov story about this, kinda

uhm, what's that story?

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/10404499_10152491368056701_7948068148757662500_n.jpg?oh=7c36d57852c0ad18c07fd1e48010d52f&oe=56F2C529