Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

This has pretty much been my internal monologue all day today. Sadly I don't seem to have a choice :(

Trayce, I hope you get some definite info about the job. Why, if I can ask, did you withdraw your resignation - even temporarily - though? I thought you kind of hated this place?

Everyone's like "hey they're offering you whatever you want to stay!" but on reflection I dunno if thats quite it. They just dont want to lose a qualified, experienced, *knows the company process* ways* person, I think. But my email said "PROVISIONAL MONTH TRIAL" so in a month I may still fuck off. Depends how this pans out I spose.

Hell its a job. And the way the IR laws are about to die and rot here I shouldnt be so fussy :|

"The business have not received there daily reports from the complaints DB, please can you investigate and have the reports sent ASAP."

Since no-one in "the business" deigned to tell me they wanted to receive any reports today, or indeed on any day, what a fucking surprise, I hadn't turned it on yet. (Background - I'm developing the reports for the new complaints database which to my knowledge hasn't or hadn't until today gone live yet). This whole project has been a total mess. I just hope some of these people leave the company after Centrica sell us off.

(We are)

"Can you write a routine that will update all the records for Type X customers?"

"Um, is there a way to identify Type X customers in the database?" The database, incidentally, is the big contacts database, full of customers, suppliers, even competitors.

"Well, most of them should be flagged with Y. Or maybe Z. Oh, there might be some others, too. And some of the ones flagged with Y aren't customers. Oh, and can you catch all of the Type X customers who had the wrong categorisation entered in the first place?"

(neither of which I use - I do as much as I can in Perl using OLE calls to the LotusScript API)

The legacy system, however... problem is it's had too many people working on it, not commenting their code, and it's not just people making data entry errors, but the system itself creating duplicates and dirty data becuase no one knows exactly what bits of it do what. Also, oh yeah, a huge chunk of it (the bit that ran automatic scripts) just... disappeared when we changed systems.

And then people come to me with annoying little complaints going "this isn't like it used to be..." and I want to shout at them THAT'S BECAUSE THE WAY IT USED TO BE WAS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FUX0RED!!!!

Bleeding in front of your coworkers: C/D?

this makes me realise that i should count my blessings.

Gifts Secret Santa has given me in the past few years include:
- a key ring with a wee torch on it
- the novel adapted from the screenplay of Spiderman The Movie
- the cheapest most useless socket set in the world
- a Jenga set with tiny slidy plastic blocks
- a Celtic FC calendar which I wasn't allowed to hang up in the office

I should adopt my old boss's strategy.

Other 'thoughtful' gifts include: A forest of Magic Trees, a Glade plug in and a cake of carbolic soap.

Last year, I got a 3 little jars of Arran Aromatics lip balm, a box of Dairy Milk and a box of liqeur chocolates that were so undoubtedly an unwanted present from last year I almost cringed visibly. 3 lip balms, 2 boxes of chocs. I mean!

This is where you all tell me I'm an ungrateful bitch.

The point of the wish list is to take away all need for thought, innit. I was probably quite stupid by being less specific than they wanted me to be with "something that smells nice; something that tastes nice; something small, simple and silver". Other people wrote down everything except the Argos catalogue number.

Thanks,

v1c

Bloody hell, what sort of insane hellhole do you work in?

Last year a colleague of mine received STRAW SLIPPERS and a LOOFAH.

Somebody else got a stuffed camel with 'Greetings from Lanazarote' on it.

I was a miserable bitch and didn't even participate.

2. Boss just gave me a "warning" for upping my resolution from 800x600 to 1024x768 on a 17" CRT

3. Boss "lost his Outlook" and expects me to fix it

...and I'm a contractor handling hurricane relief fund distribution