Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

We have about 200 people in our office. The cleaners are around all day and put the dishwasher on three or four times a day.

must be nice

Give him.a checklist vg. Ppl with short attn spans like to tick shit off. I've got a short attn span I need that sweet endorphin at every step of I start to get creatively distracted

yeah in my first few confused office years I made myself a few little printable checklists and clipped them to everything I had on the go to keep myself going, A+

i made him a brief, simple bold-font checklist :)
told him a white lie that I had made it for myself back when I was starting on the account, it seems to have helped.

thanks for the ADD tips, guys

He's been a traditional salesrep for 20 years, his main strength is on sales calls, conversations where he sets the tone & builds relationships with customers, bcz he's very friendly & bubbly

This account is handled almost entirely via email requests, and it's a very different kind of account than any that he's ever handled - everything is ordered via EDI, and there's quite a bit of technical minutiae involved in supporting the account. It's very simple *to me* but I think from his end, especially with ADD in the mix, it's a very steep learning curve

I definitely will work on my own communication methods now that I see things a bit more clearly

sales guys are an odd breed. I sat next to one in a prev job whose mind was blown when I clued him in that Windows has a built in calendar. :/

also lol @ cleaners filling/emptying dishwashers. luxury! ours don't even dust the desks. empty bins, vacuum, that's it. I spose they'd charge more to do more.

do not start me on salespeople

90% of the in my office are oldschool
phone salesppl. they are skilled at a) loudtalking and b) making smalltalk with strangers and c) bullshitting ...and that's it.

VG OTMFM x1000000000000000

oh and d) COMPLAINING

tbf you're no slouch yourself

and e) refusing to take "no" for an answer when production/design/creative/whatever says "can't be done, you shouldn't have promised that."
xp

for the third time in a month, i've been asked to be the fall guy for my boss. all of them are variations on the boss forgetting to ask people to do things, then asking me to be the one sending the email demanding that things be due with not nearly enough time for the staff to turn it around. then they all reply to me with their complaints. which i totally get! i'd be pissed too!

btw ILX i'm going to need all of you to prepare a presentation with detailed speaking notes by tomorrow morning. also, the presentation will be in NYC. i assume that's ok with all of you but you'll need to make travel arrangements if you haven't already. THANKS,

ZACH

i'm sure there's a decent portion of this office who don't even know who i am but completely hate my guts, based purely off of these emails

plus side: when i quit in a few months, no one will wonder why

xxpost watch it mookie >:(

we have a nespresso machine at work, the capsules are supplied seemingly at random. (there are (almost) always capsules there but the flavours are random)

someone in there today - 'oh they have (some flavour) again', uses one, sticks two in his pocket.

another colleague always uses the decaf capsules but two at a time.

(i use said machine about twice a year just to remind myself how much i don't like the coffee it produces)

There's been a long-running joke that my current line manager often falls asleep at his desk after lunch.

So I've been working 12 hour days all this week because he's been off sick for ten days. He has insomnia.

if you ever brag in the office about your exercise routine you should no longer get to duck out of any physical lifting/shoving tasks without a good excuse imo

people with bad backs and dodgy knees and who knows what else lugging stuff all over the place while our office's resident gymrat is pretending not to notice

people here go to the gym and then take the lift one floor...

If the past week has taught me anything, it's that 4000 redundancies, the suspension of all bonus payments and an internal social network are not a good mix.

Though my sympathy is obvs with the former, it's difficult to know whether the people openly trashing management / other departments or the ones cheerleading for the "difficult decisions" have the least common sense. You are left with the impression that half the company is determined to make themselves unemployed and the other half would respond to all the CEO's updates with "fuck me, daddy" if it wasn't for the profanity filter.

yikes :(

yes, yikes! hope things work out ok for you ShariVari

ty!

Other than having my bonus cruelly snatched away at the 11th hour, i'm unaffected this time around.

I hope that any other Ilxors rolling in the same clown car (iirc there's at least one) are similarly ok.

you may mean me - i'm good thanks, doesn't seem like there's too much to worry about here atm.

Guy next to me has been asleep for most of the last 15 minutes, he even started snoring. As hes a helpdesk phone person I'm half wondering if he put his phone on no calls and hoped no one'd notice. Yeesh.

I mean dude, go to the loo if you really want a nap.

time to dack him, Trayce

He was sitting down, but I should have dropped a pencil down his pants Homer style. TBF this guy is a friend outside of work so I wouldnt've. TBH Im a bit worried about him.

scheduling a colonoscopy from your cubicle: c/d?

Depends if you're scheduling it for yourself or for an annoying coworker

Ha, that sorrrrt of happened to me a while ago, as in the hospital rang me at work unexpectedly and asked me all these horrible questions that I just couldnt answer aloud, cos who wants to hear me say that shit. err... no pun intended.

someone who works at one of the stores sent me the stupidest most bogus corporate-speak ("communiques", "closing the conversation loop", "our shared goal of successful business in a professional setting" LADY U DON'T WORK YR HIGH-FLATUIN EXEC POSISH ANYMORE YR JUST A SALES CLERK FOR A LAME CLOTHING COMPANY THAT SELLS A LOT OF UGLY SHIT) text message , doing a poor job of subtly patronizing me, and i totally wigged out and sent her a scolding msg back, basically telling her to cut this shit out.

no reply so far. pretty sure she's gone tattling to my boss, bc she's already narced on me to the general manager (who's on my side).

anyone who uses "closing the conversation loop" in a text message needs their mobile phone privileges revoked.

"Hi Xxxxx,
Let me circle back with the client manager once more and get back to you.
Thanks!"

can't decide whether this, which arrived this morning, is a 360, a 540 or a 720.

I always want to tell people who pull that shit "can we speak in english instead of suit? Thanks kindly"

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/P/1444781839.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

xp OMG i forgot to add - she signed an earlier, corporate-speak, bullshit text addressed to me/boss/manager, with "thank you and sincerely - [her full first name, not the shortened version she ALWAYS goes by]"

i really wanted to text back 'who tf signs their texts?? and especially like THAT??" but that was back when i was trying not to be the asshole.

Team leader was asking one of the accounts ladies to send him a copy of the link she was having probs with.

"how do I do that?", says the woman who works in a fucking IT company.

Advertiser's previous ads have had solid black backgrounds by their request.
My contact, Low Level Functionary, says "let's do something updated and modern this issue."
I produce something sleek and slightly futuristic.
LLF: No, let's go with something rural: meadow, barn
I change it all to meadow, barn. Now it looks like technicolor vomit because the background is too busy and the foreground is three quarts of info pushed into a one quart container.
LLF: change this, change that (repeat repeat)
After 7 rounds of proofs she finally shows it to her general manager.
GM: Make the background black.

Haha.

We've got a pub that's had a wall on each cover because no one wanted to give precedence to either a rural or urban scene over the other.

I think the last issue was actually an out-of-focus tree.

My boss insisted our magazine be printed on glossy paper instead of the lovely matt stuff i'd spent hours choosing because "it looks more professional". Now it looks and feels like an Officeworks catalogue

Further off-topic, I had a program director back in the radio days make our engineer add a slight echo to our broadcasts, where everyone sounded like the mayor dedicating a new water park.

i'm sorry, that's awesome

It took some getting to used to.

Hearing PP's post in a booming echo.

manager always wants to add exclamation points to the sell-sheets i put together for him

it's like working with a carnival barker

manager: mock something up for the design team

me: ok cool *provides rough mockup*

oh hey look they had to print what i did because he gave the group zero time to redesign anything

me: please dont tell people I am responsible that

Now I have an advertiser forwarding me a 72 dpi proof that her designer had sent her and saying "ok, here's my press-ready ad," and I'm like mmmmmmnope.