PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAG: Supermarket Self-Serve Checkout Poll

"Have you seen Bob?" was the secret code that we baggers were supposed to ask the cashier when someone came through the checkstand "forgetting" to bring up the case of soda or dog food or whatever. The bottom of the cart was in the line of sight of the bagger but not the checker, so it was on us baggers to tattle to the checker by non-nonchalantly asking if they had happened to see ol' Bob (Bottom Of Basket) lately. Checker would say, "no, I sure haven't, sorry," wink, and then look down and happen to notice there was a case of soda or dog food or whatever down there.

whoops, the first non was a non-necessary non there

I hope you don't hate me now.

i hate when i go through the self checkout and then there's someone to check my work. Fuck off! I did it right!

Never do it. I don't even use the drive-through at the bank. I'd miss my favorite teller that way, and besides, my dog doesn't even like those biscuits. I always go inside.

Does your dog like the inside biscuits?

I like the inside dum-dum's.

He's holding out for the steaks in the boardroom.

You can't buy booze after 10pm in supermarkets in the UK. 2am seems a really odd cut-off point.

I went in Sainso's at midnight on a Friday a couple of months ago and asked the security guard if they stopped selling booze at 11, and he slowly shook his head and said "24-7" with a massive triumphant grin

I use these machines all the time unless an empty human checkout is nearer but I do often find myself instinctively telling them to shut the fuck up

It's only tangentially related but I deliberately walk slowly to piss off twats who hate people who walk slowly

think if yr a downtrodden supermarket drone the ideal situation is for people to generally ignore you but for people who are good at being friendly to give you the occasional interlude of fleeting humanity? Pretty sure the retail eco-system can support both the neurotic misanthropes and the desperate-for-company traditionalists as long as neither gets too extreme

It's only tangentially related but I deliberately walk slowly to piss off twats who hate people who walk slowly

nb not in the sense of slowing down to a crawl to deliberately delay a whole crowd of innocent people, but fuck accommodating some tutting London dickhead who's annoyed that I'm walking at a sensible pace because it's delaying him sprinting home to watch the Apprentice and beat the shit out of his shrill wife

so it was on us baggers to tattle to the checker by non-nonchalantly asking if they had happened to see ol' Bob (Bottom Of Basket) lately. Checker would say, "no, I sure haven't, sorry," wink, and then look down and happen to notice there was a case of soda or dog food or whatever down there.

LOLOLOLOL

Can I just say that I love this thread? Especially sarahel's screen name about unexpected item in the bagging area.

I deliberately walk slowly to piss off twats who hate people who walk slowly...Pretty sure the retail eco-system can support both the neurotic misanthropes and the desperate-for-company traditionalists as long as neither gets too extreme

This is the thread that keeps giving, folks. I love it.

I really, really hate the intonation of the Tesco machine woman's voice. Her stresses are all funny: "PLEASE select CARD TYPE!" "Insert your card into the CHIP and PIN deVICE!" Nyyyyrrrgh.

Also the machines seem to have major issues with the scanning of Fruit & Nut Dairy Milk.

Now that Asda have got rid of free carrier bags and I'm using their bigger 5p bags, the bastard weighing area keeps complaining about unexpected items when I put the empty bag down. Only way round it seems to be to put the first item in the bag away from the bagging area and then put the bag down in the bagging area. Then it doesn't notice the extra weight.

you can get 6 beers for the price of one using these things

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

think if yr a downtrodden supermarket drone the ideal situation is for people to generally ignore you but for people who are good at being friendly to give you the occasional interlude of fleeting humanity?

Its not too much to ask to be nice to cashiers and whatnot, their job is shite. Yesterday the woman before me in the supermarket was given a pleasant cheery "hi how are you?" from the cashier, and not only did she not even bother to reply, she didnt even look at her - the woman just stared angrily/stupidly off into the distance. Then when given her total for her whole one carton of milk, the woman threw a five dollar note onto the conveyor belt, nowhere near the cashiers hand, and just continued to stand there in a dull angry stupor. I dont know if she was rude or thick but it was unutterably insulting.

So I tried to be extra nice/friendly when it was my turn, I felt bad for the cashier girl.

I have dressed down people who treat cashiers badly.

One time a woman asked if she could buy one stick out of a pound of butter, and the cashier said yes, and then the woman asked her to put the rest of it back in the dairy case! Meanwhile the woman's husband was standing around with his thumbs up his ass. I told her that the cashier was very busy and her husband had to return the rest of the butter to the fridge. Fuck's sake. They obeyed me, and looked embarrassed. Another time I told an abusive fuck in the video store to stop being so nasty to the clerks.

These sort of actions are zero risk for fellow-shopper, and the clerks can't do it themselves. So next time you have a rude fellow-customer, CHASTISE THEM. Or at least catch the cashier's eye and cross your eyes or something.

nb not in the sense of slowing down to a crawl to deliberately delay a whole crowd of innocent people, but fuck accommodating some tutting London dickhead who's annoyed that I'm walking at a sensible pace because it's delaying him sprinting home to watch the Apprentice and beat the shit out of his shrill wife

^^i lold

also otm in a lot fewer words about this sitch than i was in a spazz up-thread

Huh, interesting thread. Pretty much no supermarkets here have self-serve checkouts (there may be some "beta" ones somewhere, but generally no). Also, our cashiers bag all our groceries for us, even when you bring your own calico bags, unless you say you'll do it for them (they have special baggy holder things to pop stuff into the bags easily).

Kind of glad for once we're "behind" in some regard.

― one art, please (Trayce), Tuesday, 14 April 2009 09:49 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The Woolies i go to has it.

i hate when i go through the self checkout and then there's someone to check my work. Fuck off! I did it right!

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 14 April 2009 11:43 (Yesterday) Bookmark

And this^ is how I feel every time.

A grocery store called Woolies! That's great.

When did these start speaking your prices out loud as you scanned things? It makes me uncomfortable.

that's my private personal business

Man, this thread takes me back. That particular neighborhood, my wonderful treehouse apartment down a cute and oft-overlooked street, that I only could hold onto for that one year of the lease. The particular hike/bike-ride to that particular Giant Eagle, the hopes of bumping into that one girl again after one time having a very pleasant chat with her over in the frozen foods... my halting attempts at dabbling with Red Box DVD rentals. And PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAG.

Self checkout is a dream come true

I can't stand these goofballs bagging my stuff

Even when i go to trader joes i bag my stuff

There should mostly only be self check outs

All of the Jewels that I frequent have actually ELIMINATED their self-checkout aisles. I mean...what is that even?

Are these diamonds in the rough located in a quaint little town

Yes, it's the most darling little tucked away place called the Chicago Metropolitan Area. You should totally check it out (if you can even find it on a map).

Like, if you can't get self-checkout here, abandon all hope, amirite.

Are all the bad bag people shooting guns instead

one of the terrible and backward things about canada - up there with not being able to book things online using your debit card - is the relative paucity of automatic checkouts. never have i waited in more long damn queues in my life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrmMk1Myrxc

In los angeles you go to some targets and there are massive queues but self checkouts are mostly empty

I'm in and out in less than 10 minutes

Love it

Just remembering that supermarket checkout was one of my brother's high school jobs. How are today's teens paying for their Commodore software and Spiro Gyra albums?

Uber

video game testing

That's true

Loads of high schoolers at ice cream shops too

my view of this is I AM NOT GONNA BAG MY SHIT FOR FREE, PAY ME

Valid.

I don't really shop at places where this is a thing. And one of my favorite things about the grocery co-op is (duh) the people that work there, so me and mine are pretty chatty/friendly with the clerks. there's one in particular we even exchange bday presents with

xp

as a former grocery bagger (at an obnoxious high-end grocer in Westmount) I always feel weird when I don't just do it myself

my view of this is I AM NOT GONNA BAG MY SHIT FOR FREE, PAY ME

The biggest benefit of self-checkout for me is that I get to bag my own groceries. It seems to be a lost art, keeping cold stuff together, not putting wet produce in with a bag of flour or sugar, and not using 8 bags when 3 would do (especially now that Chicago banned normal-thickness bags, so the waste is more or less tripled).

I have three different types of bags for my groceries. The bagger's main purpose is to shove everything in there as fast as possible. Even at trader joes, whole foods, and the worst has been at sprouts. The only difference at TJs is they like to ask personal questions while they fuck up your shit and smile while I'm staring at how they mishandle everything

They sometimes but rarely ask if "i need help with that" and I'm thinking god no, stand as far away from my produce as possible

My eyes are glued to the screen watching for price discrepancies. If the baggers are still pushing carts around the lot once the cashier and I get past the payment part, sure, I'll roll up my sleeves, jump in, start slinging plastic, swap a little gossip about the angry customer before me or about the new manager over in floral.

I fuckin love these. I used to be terrible at working them and they were more sensitive to the whole 'baggage area' thing but now every time I go to a Target, the other lines are full, these are empty, and I'm in and out like nothing. and at Home Depot, where I might be making a lot of repeat trips for one fucking small tool, totally classic.

tho I like the dudes at my Winn-Dixie. there was a new guy at cashier and a veteran bagging and the latter was in a festive mood and singing every instruction to the dude to the tune of Jingle Bells, a la...

"Put a sticker on the tooooooooooop
Each time you bag a boooox"

or

"That's chemicals aaaaagggaaaaaiiin
they don't go there my friiiiiend"

I generally only buy a few items at a time anyway so these things are great for me. There's always the anxiety of the stupid bag detector system and today for some reason it rejected my card a couple of times, but yes. Teh future

BUT I've still not had the balls to attempt to use one when buying stuff that doesn't have a barcode.

ok i gotta be honest, i am really struggling to reconcile that phonetic typing with the phrasing and rhythm of ''jingle bells.''

I'm with Dr Morbius on this, if you want me to ring up my purchases and then bag it, then pay me. The union member in me gets very angry when I see these. Also I'm never in a rush, waiting in a line to buy groceries while someone works very hard to keep the line moving, this isn't a bad thing. There's much worse.

Who cares