Il Douché and His Discontents: The 2016 Primary Voting Thread, Part 4

Priceless: "Ted Cruz's problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards, and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin' Ted Cruz."

cruz you rascal. the only way for him to survive this is to channel his inner bill clinton, play it off as something that makes him more likable if anything.

― Treeship, Friday, March 25, 2016 2:07 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This campaign is on its way all the way to the bottom. "Who's getting more pussy now, Donald?"

yeah RS is kinda like an SCTV ratfucker character

In January 2008, Stone founded Citizens United Not Timid, an anti-Hillary Clinton 527 group with an intentionally obscene acronym.

In February 2010, Stone became campaign manager for Kristin Davis, a madam linked with the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal, in her bid for the Libertarian Party nomination for Governor of New York in the 2010 election.

also may be deeply closeted

or not so deep

just when you thought things couldn't get any wackier

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a4/d8/6a/a4d86aeb108e88e67c8020b9f90055b0.jpg

god bless murica

Maybe it'll be revealed it's his wife who has had five affairs. Def. jibes with the "anyone but Cruz" vibes.

This election season is so fucked up I can equally imagine Cruz and Trump being felled for sex tapes, the former for having something he shouldn't and the latter for boasting of something he lacks. Though god knows Trump has tapes. All kinds of tapes. What is that weird fetish with people stepping on small mammals? He probably has some of those.

that's a terrible thing to say about marco rubio

feel like trump has vorarephilia

I have no idea whether or not the cover story about Ted Cruz in this week’s issue of the National Enquirer is true or not, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it, did not know about it, and have not, as yet, read it.
Likewise, I have nothing to do with the National Enquirer and unlike Lyin’ Ted Cruz I do not surround myself with political hacks and henchman and then pretend total innocence. Ted Cruz’s problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards, and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin’ Ted Cruz.
I look forward to spending the week in Wisconsin, winning the Republican nomination and ultimately the Presidency in order to Make America Great Again.
- Donald J. Trump

Drudge broke Monica Lewinsky after Newsweek scuttled David Itzkoff's story. Surprised to see nothing on his site about the Cruz sex scandal.

despite evidence to the contrary (his children) i refuse to believe ted cruz ever had sex w/ anyone, so this scandal doesn't rly track

Lol shakey

What was that thing we talked about in an earlier thread, the very particular mindset of late 80s debate/forensics club types at Princeton getting all hawt & wett from the prospect of Young Ted, and his ability to just crush massive p because of it?

https://c.o0bg.com/rf/image_960w/Boston/2011-2020/2013/11/10/BostonGlobe.com/National/Images/cruz-big-1642.jpg

Just drenched in it

https://www.princeton.edu/paw/archive_old/PAW99-00/10-0223/4768-cnfcruz.jpg

His clenched, grunting face right as he finishes off in your roommate when you get back from practice

well that was unpleasant

This story suggests Rubio's campaign is behind everything:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/03/25/ted-cruz-affair-rumors-peddled-by-marco-rubio-s-allies.html

Trump's "tiny fingerprints" made me laugh. Trump will now set his sights on The Daily Beast: "I assure you there's nothing small about my fingerprints. I have very large fingerprints, terrific fingerprints."

lol yeah the "tiny fingerprints" aside is great

https://twitter.com/politico/status/713474676765417477

trying to figure out what the kid over his right shoulder is doing at the end lol

well that was unpleasant

― Οὖτις, Friday, 25 March 2016 21:34 (14 minutes ago) Permalink

looooooooooool
https://twitter.com/RichardDawklns/status/672302448535564288

I know I'm gay and I think everyone is gay but Cruz has the mien and attitude of a guy whom you'd find fucking your male roommate and afterwards threatening to report you to the RA on a minor infraction as a way of keeping you both quiet.

Well, in the cigar photo, look at the word he's putting a check mark next to.

Clearly he was pro-Bush at the time.

yeah well I don't think he likes bush very much

Sundquist is the one

that's a fake account shakey

my bad

i've seen chatter on twitteronia that there's some big story that might damage cruz and trump that the media is sitting on but it's only chatter, idk
― arts and crafts THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, March 15, 2016 9:45 PM (1 week ago)

i guess this might be it? last week i was going through twitter conversation w/hashtag #thething (ok also because it was full of gifs/references to best horror film of all time) and trying to figure out what exactly they were talking about

what doesn't make sense to me yet is that the *reason* supporters of rubio were talking about it was principally about damaging trump and cruz was more like collateral damage if they were lucky. i take it all with a big grain of salt because most of it was regular people's wishful thinking that a big scandal would destroy the other candidates since their guy was losing. and even the few comments coming from those who were professional operatives were.. they've heard about whatever-it-is but did not personally have evidence. so why did trump hire the spokesperson he did, who used to work for cruz? odd.

greatest horror movie of all time: TS cruz sex-tape vs. the thing

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrwp8n8QML1r3awg7o1_500.gif

Talking about today's news on the weekly NPR roundup, David Brooks sounded like he wanted to cry. EJ Dionne called him out as one of many Republicans who didn't loudly decry Trump years ago for being a jackass. Granted, Brooks is a pussy, but why would any person even pretending to be sensible want to identify as Republican? I get it, in theory, in a vacuum, but what does the party offer at this point? Is it just a cynical matter of "and from the right .... " employment? Because all of the principles these so-called principled Republicans stand for have long been flushed.

If david brooks didn't identify as a republican he wouldn't have a job

Josh, did you read Brooks' column today

ime (i live in the area where he went to high school) there are a lot of these coastal [often jewish like brooks] republican types whose families signed onto a kind of entrepreneurial genteel aspirational conservatism that has its entire own world of magazines + journals (commentary and post-buckley NR) and has basically been able to insulate itself from the ongoing disintegration of the GOP into madness. a close friend was one of these types and already in 2008 we were having conversations about what palin meant for his kind of republicanism and he really didn't want to hear or think too much about it and then by 2012 he was independent but i think still voted for romney and now i assume he'll be voting for hillary bc the candidates on offer are really repellant to this type. this election it has really come to a head and i've been hearing a lot of "i don't know what i'm going to do" just sad head shaking and like "i can't vote for clinton can i" from at least a few ppl.

@dick_nixon
Johnny thinks the Yankees will come calling if he can just get the bat off his shoulder.

dick_nixon's first good line itt

last week i was going through twitter conversation w/hashtag #thething (ok also because it was full of gifs/references to best horror film of all time)

lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV2wCXKgG1E

I read this at the time. It's extraordinary.

n 1976, Stone was named national youth director for Reagan’s first, failed run for the Republican nomination. Four years later, after serving on various young-Republican task forces, Stone asked the leaders of Reagan’s next campaign for the toughest assignment they had. They made Stone, who was in his late twenties, political director of New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. The region hardly looked like Reagan country, but Stone found a new mentor to help him. “I was invited to a party by a socialite named Sheila Mosler, and Roy Cohn was there,” Stone said, as the captain delivered an order of “21” ’s steak tartare. “Roy was a Democrat, but he was an anti-Communist and a master of public relations, and he wanted to help me with Reagan. He told me to come see him at his town house.

“When I got there, Roy was in his bathrobe, eating three strips of bacon burned to a crisp and both halves of a devilled egg,” Stone went on. “He started telling me how he was going to help me set up the Reagan campaign—everything from union endorsements to office space. He told me to ride down to the courthouse with him. He had a young lawyer with him, and it was clear that Roy knew nothing about the case he was going to argue. But he knew it didn’t matter. He used to say, ‘Don’t tell me the law. Tell me the judge.’ Roy knew how the world worked.” Following Cohn’s lead, Stone played hardball for Reagan, challenging George H. W. Bush’s New York primary delegates on a variety of technical grounds, getting many of them disqualified. A couple of years later, Cohn threw Stone a thirtieth-birthday party in a private room at “21.”

Like Stone, Cohn combined conservative politics with an outré personal life. “Roy was not gay,” Stone told me. “He was a man who liked having sex with men. Gays were weak, effeminate. He always seemed to have these young blond boys around. It just wasn’t discussed. He was interested in power and access. He told me his absolute goal was to die completely broke and owing millions to the I.R.S. He succeeded in that.”

http://www.resistanceradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/stone.reagan.jpg

o man devilled eggs

"He told me his absolute goal was to die completely broke and owing millions to the I.R.S. He succeeded in that."

lmao

i like that cnn is getting around to talking about this story only by talking about the reactions to it

fucking Reagan everywhere

bowl of grapes to his right

When I was in 4th grade we had some assignment to write a letter to the president. I must have been goofing around, because I was sent to the hallway to work on mine, so I figured, whatever, I will write the best letter ever to the president. I think it had to do with trash pickup. Weeks later, I got an envelope from the White House with a letter, some other swag and a picture of Ronnie riding a horse. I figured, cool, wtf. I still have it somewhere in my mom's house. Maybe I sent him jellybeans.

"i can't vote for clinton can i"

do it, genteel Repugs, she promises endless war and absolutely nothing that will impede coastal flood inundation.

ok also because it was full of gifs/references to best horror film of all time

wait, when did Michael Powell's Peeping Tom enter the fray?

http://i.imgur.com/PgZtz0j.gif

the conventions are a week apart in July, what madness