I am sending you the bill for replacing my laptop screen after I punched it
― i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 21:09 (eight years ago) link
Boys Have a Weenus, Girls Have a Hoo HahLook it up on the internet if you don't believe me. Time to get over it if you haven't already. Next time, come correct
― ulysses, Tuesday, 12 April 2016 21:09 (eight years ago) link
what kind of monster eats food at a strip club smh
― art, Tuesday, 12 April 2016 21:22 (eight years ago) link
the kind that steals money from the stage
― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 21:22 (eight years ago) link
Kissing With Tongues Is The Only Real KissingIf you're not sticking your tongue in her mouth, you're doing it wrong and she's totally going to think you're a baby. And no it's not "gross". It's cool. It's what grown ups do.
― ulysses, Tuesday, 12 April 2016 21:24 (eight years ago) link
The accompanying photo for "Don’t Just Come For Rhe Food"http://media.allnight.com/O1Hcz8d4q1Sxn2T2XvoSTtowToI%3D/0x22%3A2999x2272/1200x900/smart/etch-production.s3.amazonaws.com/assets/posts/79/23/20/7923200000000000.jpg%3Fgid%3D489149049
― ulysses, Tuesday, 12 April 2016 21:25 (eight years ago) link
http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/pimento-cheeseburger-and-white-russian-milkshake-are-served-at-the-picture-id489149049
Hummus Milkshakes Go Great With Fish Roe and Scrapple SandwichesMy uncle Phillip made these for me last week and they're the best. It tastes better than bacon. You're gonna love the way you look.
― ulysses, Tuesday, 12 April 2016 21:27 (eight years ago) link
after consideration i've decided to abandon efforts at a joke about "don't just come for the food"
― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 21:29 (eight years ago) link
haha ya the overall tone of the article is hilarious
what a goofball
it has to be between not eating there or always bringing friends
i'm going to say not eating there because if you bring enough cash all of a sudden you're the mysterious sexy rich guy if you can pull that off right
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 21:45 (eight years ago) link
Treat this experience like an exhibit at the museum.
Treat Her Like A Semiotext(e)
― ... (Eazy), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 22:19 (eight years ago) link
have a friend snap a picture of you next to the nudes
― j., Tuesday, 12 April 2016 22:40 (eight years ago) link
can't believe there's a dodgy article about strip club etiquette on the internet
― disco Polo (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 22:44 (eight years ago) link
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^can we have a separate board for this nonsense
― lute bro (brimstead), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 22:54 (eight years ago) link
nonsense = this thread, i mean
fuck yall, signed asshole for life
I'm not about to ditch my Sunday night dinner routine on the say-so of some dumb clickbait article.
― a very hansom, and smart boy (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 01:55 (eight years ago) link
I'm going with Act Like An Adult - what the fuck is happening at this strip club to make you squeamish?!
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 02:00 (eight years ago) link
Boobies!! Yikes!!!
― a very hansom, and smart boy (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 02:03 (eight years ago) link
Exploitation era Scooby was my fave
― never had it so ogod (darraghmac), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 03:31 (eight years ago) link
― lute bro (brimstead), Tuesday, April 12, 2016 5:54 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
I Love Giddiness
― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 03:39 (eight years ago) link
forks plz keep making up pretend rules
― yellow despackling power (Will M.), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 04:09 (eight years ago) link
Horror movies are the best moviesI got to watch one from the hallway when my big brother Todd had his girlfriend over on Thursday and they're definitely the best. We are not watching Inside Out like big dumb babies. Not tonight. We are going to watch In The Mouth Of Madness. Put on your big boy britches and your No Fear t-shirt. Think Different.
― yellow despackling power (Will M.), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 04:11 (eight years ago) link
You cannot get gonorrhea from looking at a girl's naked buttI know I told you before that you could but I was just punking you. I can't believe you fell for that. Seriously, just look at it when she turns around because it's probably the only naked girl butt you'll ever see until you're an adult.
― a very hansom, and smart boy (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 04:27 (eight years ago) link
resent this article referring to me as a pal
― lettered and hapful (symsymsym), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 05:54 (eight years ago) link
Call me Sir!
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 13:06 (eight years ago) link
Not sure how I'm going to vote, but "don't think you can rent one to bring home like a car" is probably the best phrase in the whole thing. "Vicinity of nakedness" is pretty good too though.
― how's life, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 13:36 (eight years ago) link
The only time you should feel anything is when the dancer makes it an interactive situation.
https://biggiesplace.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/an-interactive-cd-rom.jpg
― a lad of balls (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 13:37 (eight years ago) link
Cheese Doesn't Make SnotHere's sweet victory for all the pizza eaters according to Wikipedia: "A study conducted by Pinnock and co-workers (1990) reported that there is no association between milk and dairy products intake and mucus production in healthy as well as rhinovirus infected individuals.(2)" So maybe stop trying to make me take a tissue when I get another slice. It's just wrong to make anyone think about that when you're eating anyway. Gag.
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 13:53 (eight years ago) link
It's Totally Normal to Not Have Hair Under Your Arms YetSure, lots of people have hair there. But lots don't and it's not like that's the only thing that matters. Listen to a person's voice. Is it deeper? Look for the start of a mustache. Are there more than like eleven whiskers? Was I 4'10" last year and 5'1" this year? Guess what brainiac: that's puberty. And news flash: hair makes your pits smelly. Don't believe me? Go smell your dad's pits. Not so great being a grown-up after all is it?
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:00 (eight years ago) link
There Is Totally Porn on YouTube, DuhThere's a guy whose job it is to take all the porn down when people upload it. But he can't get all the porn. Nobody can get all the porn. Sometimes it stays up for two or three days. On Friday, I found a five minute video of two girls double-teaming this one guy and it was completely uncut. Completely real. It was gone by Monday though.
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:04 (eight years ago) link
forks you are killing it itt
― a lad of balls (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:07 (eight years ago) link
People Can Love Their Kids and Like Each Other Very Much And Still Not Want To Be Married AnymoreIn olden days, marriage was forever or at least until we went to college or something. Now, it's no big deal when parents split up. Most of my friends have two houses. You get two Christmases, two birthdays. I know a guy who has Xbox at his mom's and a Playstation at his dad's. Maybe that will happen. So it probably won't be as bad as you think it will be. It's probably for the best. At least you won't have to listen to them fight anymore.
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:11 (eight years ago) link
What If Our Whole Universe Is An Atom In The Fingernail of A GiantThere's no real way to prove that it's not. What if time runs differently in the giant's world and it's been a billion billion years in our time but only a few days in giant time? And he's reaching for nail clippers. Do we all die when he clips his nails? Or hey, wait: what if the giant's world is just an atom in an even bigger giant's toenail? Then what? Like, how far could that go?
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:16 (eight years ago) link
Fuck Mister Kavanaugh In His Dumb Fucking ButtHe acts like he knows the secrets of life and everything but if he's so wise and all-knowing then how come he's a middle school history teacher and such a shitty basketball coach that we can't even get to the county semi-finals? The only history he knows about is the history of losing. Let him call my dad. Just fucking let him. I'm not scared of him.
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:21 (eight years ago) link
Your Back Muscles Wrap Around to Your Breasts So If You Really Want The Best Massage, I Have to Rub On Your FrontYour latissimus dorsi connect up here, in your scapulas. But tension creeps up over your clavicle into your pectoral muscles, which girls have too. In fact, girls' pecs are sometimes even more tense than boys because they're holding up the breasts which is why you have to wear a bra. It's science. For real, I don't even have to touch them, I can just touch around them.
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:28 (eight years ago) link
Check out this fractals video I just boughtIs your mind blown yet? Hang on. Grab that Redi-Whip can. No, don't shake it. Just put your mouth around the nozzle and squeeze. Now check out those fractals. Pretty cool, right? All right, just don't tell mom or I'll kick your ass.
― I Pith On Your Quip (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:31 (eight years ago) link
Not Liking Something Isn't The Same Thing As Having An AllergyIt's not like you even remember the last time you had a reaction. I'm pretty sure almond butter is different from peanut butter anyway. So in the final countdown, a peanut allergy isn't that big of a deal and you should grow a pair and just eat the dumb sandwich already.
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:43 (eight years ago) link
This Is Gonna Be AwesomeJust shut up! Wait for it. Be patient, when this comes off man... it's gonna be totally epic. Okay, give me the lighter.
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:54 (eight years ago) link
http://img.michaeljacksonspictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/popcorn-blank.gif
― a lad of balls (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:56 (eight years ago) link
Look, All You Have To Say Is That I Was In My Room All NightHow hard is that? Okay, look, I'll give you some of my Playboys, all right? But you better hide 'em good. Not like those fireworks I gave you. Just back me up and I'll make it worth your while.
― I Pith On Your Quip (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 15:07 (eight years ago) link
i like the transition from "coolest kid in the after-school club" to "worst stepdad"
― yellow despackling power (Will M.), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 15:21 (eight years ago) link
If you want a free show, go watch birds at the park.
oi mates
― μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 15:34 (eight years ago) link
Your Back Muscles Wrap Around to Your Breasts So If You Really Want The Best Massage, I Have to Rub On Your Front
lol
― i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 15:43 (eight years ago) link
Saying "Everybody Masturbates" Is Not The Same Thing as Saying "I Jack Off"This is the last time I'm going to say this: all guys do it. The pope and the president and John Cena and it's totally natural. Sometimes it helps you get to sleep and it reduces stress. But I am not saying that I do it. Even though it would be totally okay if I did. But I don't. And I swear, if you say I do one more time, I am gonna beat your ass so bad.
― ulysses, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 15:53 (eight years ago) link
Stay Away From Old Man Haggerty's ShedHe's fucking crazy. I heard he killed a kid and ate him. He went crazy ever since his wife died and now he just wants kids to have just the worst time. Whoever told you I have a secret stash of Penthouse behind that shed is a fucking liar. Who told you that? I swear to fucking God I'll end them
― yellow despackling power (Will M.), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 15:56 (eight years ago) link
That Wasn't Pot, It Was Italian SeasoningYes it was! Doug wanted to make a pizza tonight so I told him I'd bring the seasonings over. I don't know why it smells like pot because I don't even know what pot smells like. Why do YOU know what pot smells like, that's the real question. Just get off my back for once, jeez.
― I Pith On Your Quip (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 16:15 (eight years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Monday, 9 May 2016 00:01 (eight years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 00:01 (eight years ago) link
http://cbs12.com/news/local/vladimir-putin-arrested-at-publix
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 19:02 (eight years ago) link
I applaud this revive.
― thrusted pelvis-first back (ulysses), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 21:51 (eight years ago) link