Budweiser Renames Its Beer "America"
― ciderpress, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 16:09 (eight years ago) link
"Millions of men every evening stand shoulder-to-shoulder in this great land and piss America..."
― pplains, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 16:15 (eight years ago) link
Now when someone offers to get me a beer I can say, "Anything but America."
― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 10 May 2016 19:46 (eight years ago) link
^
― nomar, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 19:48 (eight years ago) link
"Step out of the car, I smell America on your breath"
― StanM, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 21:06 (eight years ago) link
Every child had a pretty good shot,
To get at least as far as his old man got,
But something happened on the way to that place,
He threw up America all over the place... hey hey hey... uh woe woe
― pplains, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 21:16 (eight years ago) link
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/elderly-polish-couple-buy-fabric-tickets-online-and-rave-until-5am-a3249571.html
― StanM, Tuesday, 17 May 2016 19:20 (eight years ago) link
Ravers: the man stole a dance with clubber Abbie Leek (Abbie Leek)
― ulysses, Wednesday, 18 May 2016 14:04 (eight years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/may/18/google-patents-sticky-layer-self-driving-car-accidents
― I've had Eno, ugh (ledge), Thursday, 19 May 2016 08:11 (eight years ago) link
http://sfist.com/2016/05/23/rec_parks_pilot_program_allows_you.php
― Dan I., Tuesday, 24 May 2016 18:01 (eight years ago) link
http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/crime-and-courts/duck-fat-spill-coated-downtown-sidewalks-madison-fire-says/article_34e045bf-1d2c-5fc9-b3c1-1712aa082a83.html
― sam jax sax jam (Jordan), Tuesday, 24 May 2016 18:29 (eight years ago) link
the last sentence in the duck fat link -
"The chef contracted to have the duck fat spill absorbed."
???
― écorché (S-), Friday, 27 May 2016 04:14 (eight years ago) link
oops I get it.
― écorché (S-), Friday, 27 May 2016 04:24 (eight years ago) link
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/436246/x-men-apocalypse-billboard-villain
― De La Soul is no Major Lazer (ulysses), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 04:47 (eight years ago) link
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2016/06/24/more-than-30-people-burned-in-motivational-speaker-tony-robbins-hot-coals-walk.html
― dinnerboat, Friday, 24 June 2016 20:21 (eight years ago) link
"some people were not concentrating on walking across the coals because they were taking selfies and asking others to take video of them."
― remove butt (abanana), Friday, 24 June 2016 20:40 (eight years ago) link
not really an onion article but the timing is...interesting.
front page of yahoo O_O
LifestyleWow, Karma! Pride of Lions Kills 5 Poachers in Sneak Attack
― nomar, Friday, 8 July 2016 19:19 (eight years ago) link
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-minister-theresa-may-cabinet-a7135371.html
"Boris Johnson named Foreign Secretary"
― koogs, Wednesday, 13 July 2016 19:52 (eight years ago) link
good to know that being eaten by lions is primarily a "lifestyle" issue.
― the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Wednesday, 13 July 2016 19:54 (eight years ago) link
Drunk idiot who scaled airport fence to board planes caught out by receipt for Mr Blobby biscuit
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/drunk-idiot-who-scaled-airport-8415425#DLmJ8SWiuPD25pjv.97
― Chuck_Tatum, Thursday, 14 July 2016 14:24 (eight years ago) link
No link, but biking past our local NPR station this morning I saw this on their scrolling news marquee: "WISH GRANTED - SIX-YEAR-OLD BOY TO BE GARBAGEMAN FOR A DAY."
― a 47-year-old chainsaw artist from South Carolina (Phil D.), Tuesday, 26 July 2016 14:13 (eight years ago) link
6-Year-Old Boy's Wish To Be A 'Garbage Man' Granted
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/07/27/487604365/6-year-old-boys-wish-to-be-a-garbage-man-granted
― écorché (S-), Friday, 5 August 2016 04:47 (eight years ago) link
Hats off to that kid actually, far better than wishing to be a ludicrously wealthy brooding weirdo (ie Batman)
― écorché (S-), Friday, 5 August 2016 04:50 (eight years ago) link
good to know that being eaten by lions is primarily a "lifestyle" issue.― the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Wednesday, July 13, 2016 2:54 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Wednesday, July 13, 2016 2:54 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
eating humans is def. a lifestyle choice for lions
― wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 5 August 2016 05:02 (eight years ago) link
Accused FSU face eater told cops he wasn't on drugs during arrest
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article96949917.html
― Foster Twelvetrees (Ward Fowler), Sunday, 21 August 2016 13:20 (eight years ago) link
Security footage showed Harrouff calmly walking out of the restaurant, clad in a blue polo shirt, white pants and and <sic> a backward Make America Great Again hat
― Dan I., Sunday, 21 August 2016 16:11 (eight years ago) link
Deadly bagpipe infection is health warning to all wind musicians
(at least the headline)
― Shinzō Abe as Super Mario (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 23 August 2016 14:25 (eight years ago) link
O what a horror it will be to never hear the sound of bagpipes again.
― pplains, Tuesday, 23 August 2016 15:03 (eight years ago) link
(^ Sarcasm regretted at 2019 funeral, listening to someone off in the distance playing "Amazing Grace" on the accordion.)
Archbishop of Canterbury: ‘Pope Francis would beat me in a fight’
“For a lot of reasons, the Pope would (win). He’s got a bigger stick than me. He’s got a bigger hat then me. He’s bigger then me. He’s better than me.”
― corbynite, shite (soref), Saturday, 3 September 2016 01:09 (eight years ago) link
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/09/12/jailed-agadoo-singer-led-a-conga-in-prison/
― Foster Twelvetrees (Ward Fowler), Monday, 12 September 2016 12:20 (eight years ago) link
there's no way the reality could live up to that article, but it is nonetheless wonderful
― ogmor, Monday, 12 September 2016 12:23 (eight years ago) link
lol, I was actually imagining that happening when I first read about him getting sent down
― calzino, Monday, 12 September 2016 12:34 (eight years ago) link
I think my single least favorite kind of facebook comment is "not the onion!"
― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Monday, 12 September 2016 15:05 (eight years ago) link
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/a1Qd14pXQI4/hqdefault.jpg
― Mordy, Monday, 12 September 2016 16:46 (eight years ago) link
Intelligent robot that 'remembers and learns' could be scrapped after escaping a lab for a second time
― gesticulating Pez dispenser (Sanpaku), Sunday, 18 September 2016 18:37 (eight years ago) link
Haha wow that video of it creeping away
― Evan, Sunday, 18 September 2016 18:58 (eight years ago) link
lol, that popped up in the Harper's Findings and i knew the internet would provide video sooner or later
― thrusted pelvis-first back (ulysses), Sunday, 18 September 2016 21:52 (eight years ago) link
Bob Dylan Announces 36-Disc Set of 1966 Live Albums
― dinnerboat, Tuesday, 27 September 2016 14:36 (seven years ago) link
these guys are just trying to get in this thread now
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/15/us/bottle-flipping-craze-is-fun-for-children-but-torture-for-parents.html
“I’m going to need a bottle of Xanax to deal with the bottle crunching,” said Ms. Tuna, who has five children, four of whom are living at home: three boys, ages 10, 12 and 13, and an 11-year-old daughter. She said they all toss bottles, though the girl less so.
― the notes the loon doesn't play (ulysses), Sunday, 16 October 2016 21:41 (seven years ago) link
Ms. TunaMs. Cinnamon
― kinder, Sunday, 16 October 2016 21:48 (seven years ago) link
i'm saying tho'!
― the notes the loon doesn't play (ulysses), Monday, 17 October 2016 03:30 (seven years ago) link
The article itself is more reasonable but the tweet says:
"Why is Hillary Clinton so widely loved?"
https://twitter.com/theatlantic/status/795030892137902081
― dinnerboat, Saturday, 5 November 2016 23:05 (seven years ago) link
http://www.celebtricity.com/daycare-busted-running-toddler-fightclub-parents-outraged/
― Mordy, Friday, 18 November 2016 20:01 (seven years ago) link
Phillies' "Pistachio Girl" Fired For Being A White Nationalist
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Monday, 5 December 2016 21:28 (seven years ago) link
Pretty much the textbook definition of reaping what you sow ...
...
in a nutshell.
― pplains, Monday, 5 December 2016 22:25 (seven years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CzGb9MAVQAAdG61.jpg:large
― The Codling Of The London Suede (Legal Warning Across The Atlantic) (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 8 December 2016 12:44 (seven years ago) link
That is not something a company should be boasting about ffs
― kinder, Thursday, 8 December 2016 13:06 (seven years ago) link
Not saying I agree with them all but...
https://www.themonthly.com.au/blog/evan-williams/2016/07/2016/1481072574/40-most-onion-australian-politics-headlines-2016
― écorché (S-), Wednesday, 21 December 2016 07:04 (seven years ago) link
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-dog-attacks-florida-family-sweater-20170102-story.html
― Jeff, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 10:59 (seven years ago) link