welp, this is happening
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8pJt4dK_s4
― The Patricia Routledge Meatspin Gif Has Made You Gay (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 16 May 2017 14:44 (seven years ago) link
the cynical crossbreeding of wreck-it ralph and inside out that no-one demanded
― The Patricia Routledge Meatspin Gif Has Made You Gay (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 16 May 2017 14:45 (seven years ago) link
I was hoping that this had already come and gone without me noticing and that we were now safely in the post-release phase of collectively pretending that it had never happened.
― Download this Man With Hamburder And Mug (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 16 May 2017 14:53 (seven years ago) link
But since its release is still impending, I'll go ahead and predict that it breaks at least one box office record and spawns at least two sequels and possibly a spinoff.
― Download this Man With Hamburder And Mug (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 16 May 2017 14:55 (seven years ago) link
i mean i'm fervently hoping it breaks at least one box office record but it's not the one that would lead to sequels and/or spinoffs
― The Patricia Routledge Meatspin Gif Has Made You Gay (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 16 May 2017 14:57 (seven years ago) link
Always worth reiterating that Patrick Stewart is voicing an animated pile of shit in this children's movie.
― Download this Man With Hamburder And Mug (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 16 May 2017 15:17 (seven years ago) link
i can only assume that becoming a stoner late in life has catastrophically affected his judgement
― The Patricia Routledge Meatspin Gif Has Made You Gay (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 16 May 2017 15:35 (seven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwWfX5ihbr0
― π (am0n), Monday, 5 June 2017 18:04 (seven years ago) link
so this shit is really happening huh
― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 21:35 (seven years ago) link
this is a poster I've seen around town
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rrjlvHYb3mg/WVxFg8h9tII/AAAAAAACk70/PbENGIldNxAh5Sjqx2S_Lq_3QfWBExV0wCLcBGAs/s800/emoji%2Bmovie%2Bpoop%2Bbillboard.jpg
fuck hollywood
― nomar, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 21:36 (seven years ago) link
I want to walk in every theatre showing this and just fling actual poop at audience members
― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 21:41 (seven years ago) link
Every now and then I'm reminded afresh that this movie exists and I reel in horror and disbelief. Anyone who ever pays a cent to see this thing should be disenfranchised and institutionalised immediately.
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 26 July 2017 01:23 (seven years ago) link
yeah seeing this movie means you're part of the problem
― Week of Wonders (Ross), Wednesday, 26 July 2017 01:32 (seven years ago) link
inches away from CAN YOU GET 85% ON THIS QUIZ?: THE MOVIE
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 26 July 2017 03:59 (seven years ago) link
^ will be greenlit depending on this movie's success
― Week of Wonders (Ross), Wednesday, 26 July 2017 04:04 (seven years ago) link
At last, the movie America deserves.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 26 July 2017 04:05 (seven years ago) link
but not the one it needs right now
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 26 July 2017 04:06 (seven years ago) link
the Social Media universe trilogy is probably due out soon
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 26 July 2017 04:07 (seven years ago) link
from EW review:
Gene has to go on the run with another misfit, Hi-5 (James Corden), one of the most horrifyingly Cronenberg-y cartoon creations since John Lasseter gave a car a tongue. Hi-5 is a talking hand, and whereas most of the Emojis look like rubber, Hi-5 has uncanny-valley skin. His palm has cheeks, and a belly that can stiffen into a 4-pack. At one point, Hi-5 turns around, and we see that this hand has a butt.
― Neanderthal, Saturday, 29 July 2017 13:39 (seven years ago) link
that is phenomenal
does every age of civilization have its Emoji Movie? what was the nadir of fucked up, meaningless creativity while Rome was collapsing?
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 29 July 2017 16:19 (seven years ago) link
I will assume you are fiddling around with that question
― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 29 July 2017 16:41 (seven years ago) link
Dad jokes aside, I would dearly liked to have been in the meeting where they decided the hand should have a butt
― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 29 July 2017 16:42 (seven years ago) link
Does the poop have a butt?
― jmm, Saturday, 29 July 2017 16:45 (seven years ago) link
what comes out of the poop's butt? corn on the cob?
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 29 July 2017 16:49 (seven years ago) link
does not appear to have a butt based on this clip, although it raises more questions than it answers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmqscxta_Fc
― Number None, Saturday, 29 July 2017 17:01 (seven years ago) link
The poop came out of the hand's butt
― Neanderthal, Saturday, 29 July 2017 17:09 (seven years ago) link
There's a theater up here where one can kludge together a Mike White doubleheader of BEATRIZ AT DINNER and this
― maura, Saturday, 29 July 2017 17:38 (seven years ago) link
Howard the duck is shooting from inside the phone
― jk rowling obituary thread (darraghmac), Sunday, 30 July 2017 00:28 (seven years ago) link
Is black policeman or Easter Island head in this
― albvivertine, Sunday, 30 July 2017 00:28 (seven years ago) link
What about Crying Laughing, and are there tit/dick pics on the phone?
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 30 July 2017 00:50 (seven years ago) link
Justin McElroy (of the podcast My Brother My Brother & Me) took his kid daughter to see it, whole thread is hilarious
Patrick Stewart is a literal pile of shit. On leaving the bathroom with his son: "Should we wash our hands?" [uproarious laughter]— Justin McElroy (@JustinMcElroy) July 29, 2017
Not from us, obviously. Charlie is watching with an expression like I'm teaching her to balance a checkbook while at Barney's funeral— Justin McElroy (@JustinMcElroy) July 29, 2017
Favorite character so far? Easy! The silent ones, because every word spoken makes the ending further from my current fixed point in time— Justin McElroy (@JustinMcElroy) July 29, 2017
― Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 30 July 2017 01:32 (seven years ago) link
Maybe in the sequel the emojis can come out of the phone and into the pocket where the phone is and they can meet Lint and Penny and Used Kleenex and hopefully there will be stuffed animals and lunchboxes emblazoned with those soon to be much-loved characters and maybe I'll get fed into a wood chipper before that happens and maybe if I'm not fed I'll just like gracefully dive into the whirring spinning blades of my own volition.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Sunday, 30 July 2017 02:00 (seven years ago) link
"There's a theater up here where one can kludge together a Mike White doubleheader of BEATRIZ AT DINNER and this"
wait what, Mike White wrote this????
― akm, Sunday, 30 July 2017 05:00 (seven years ago) link
this review is great
― Beret McKesson (jaymc), Sunday, 30 July 2017 06:33 (seven years ago) link
In the end β and I am going to spoil this movie here, please prepare yourself for the loss β the emojis turn into GIFs, I guess. Because Geneβs ability to turn himself into multiple feelings helps his user Alex express complicated feelings to the girl he likes everyone gets on board with Geneβs defect.
What? There's no way I'm trusting anarchic emojis with minds of their own in an important text message.
― jmm, Sunday, 30 July 2017 13:48 (seven years ago) link
So fucking excited to see this tonight
― flappy bird, Sunday, 30 July 2017 15:41 (seven years ago) link
pvmic
― Neanderthal, Sunday, 30 July 2017 15:46 (seven years ago) link
ah fuck i can't go anymore... sometime this week
― flappy bird, Sunday, 30 July 2017 22:41 (seven years ago) link
booooooo
― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 30 July 2017 22:45 (seven years ago) link
π±π±π±π±π±
― pg13tentacion (unregistered), Sunday, 30 July 2017 22:59 (seven years ago) link
I don't get why the reviews for this are so bad. I saw it last night and it ruled. Charlize Theron kicked so much ass and the 80's soundtrack was Cold War-tastic.
― The Marmadook (latebloomer), Sunday, 30 July 2017 23:01 (seven years ago) link
YOOOOO CHANGE OF PLANS IM FUCKIN GOING
― flappy bird, Sunday, 30 July 2017 23:16 (seven years ago) link
Lol Neanderthal
― circa1916, Sunday, 30 July 2017 23:33 (seven years ago) link
OK, briefly... it's not a well constructed or well written movie, a huge missed opportunity. But the disgust and over the top loathing that this movie is receiving isn't because it's not engaging or even that it's a lazy Inside-Out ripoff, it's because it's the complete opposite of an escapist summer movie. There are so many rich philosophical and social questions posed - time and relativity, multiple universes, and the emojis' condition - being restricted to one emotion at birth and imprisoned within Textopolis in the same way that we complain about being imprisoned by social media and our smartphones. It's a pretty heady movie that squanders its premise and isn't engaging. But the Paris sequence with the parents was kind of beautiful, being able to walk inside of your user's Instagram photo roll and explore a frozen world. I mean, it gets pretty fucking out there at times. Wonder Woman is escapism, The Emoji Movie is reality, and it's horrifying. No wonder people have such a visceral reaction to it.
― flappy bird, Monday, 31 July 2017 03:39 (seven years ago) link
Is it as good as the third matrix movie, Speed Racer, or The Conversation?
― El Tomboto, Monday, 31 July 2017 03:42 (seven years ago) link
It's definitely better than Matrix Revolutions. I didn't see the 2008 Speed Racer. if John Cazale were alive and in The Emoji Movie, it would be better than The Conversation.
― flappy bird, Monday, 31 July 2017 03:44 (seven years ago) link
had no idea Armond White posted on ILX
― Neanderthal, Monday, 31 July 2017 03:44 (seven years ago) link
oh yeah, there's an "abandoned luggage" emoji that's black (wtf?). there are black emojis and people in the movie, but the abandoned luggage sounds like Katt Williams, says "oh HELL naw," etc.
xpost thank you i consider that a high compliment
― flappy bird, Monday, 31 July 2017 03:48 (seven years ago) link
def not better than Speed Racer
― a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Monday, 31 July 2017 04:17 (seven years ago) link
flappy loved The Angry Birds Movie as well, lest we forget. I look forward to his review of The Bitcoin Adventure and iPhone 10 Cases: The Musical.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Monday, 31 July 2017 04:32 (seven years ago) link