Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Ha I recall this nightmare, I posted about it was upthread:

On the allergy tip once my office decided to have the stupidest theme day ever: "wear tons of perfume/cologne", with prizes for guessing the smells, most obnoxious scent etc. I am not even joking. I think I privately emailed my boss and said "are you kidding? I'll end up with a migraine, i am kind of allergic to strong perfumes" and they called it off and kind of made it clear I was the spoilsport which was embarrassing :(

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, February 26, 2015

Trayce, you should have suggested, as an alternative to Obnoxious Aroma Day, a day where every employee was allowed to snap wet towels at every other employee. Your spoilsport label would have instantly evaporated in all the crazy fun!

How about a weekly “Your day in the barrel” where someone is sealed into a barrel for the work day

ding ding ding

I'm working for a small business now after getting burnt out from the corporate world. It's like working for a capricious emperor. Makes me miss being a faceless corporate drone.

I guess I'm finally living the dream of George Jetson, without that crazy space shit or family.

Jetson! You're fired!Your're rehired! Spacely was a fucking dick, man.

Had a farewell lunch for a coworker today; first 10 minutes of talk was GAME OF THRONES

NERDS IN THEIR FORTIES

back off man, i don't watch that

Small business owners are the worst.

nerds in their forties / geeking about dragons during a lunch / what a dull bunch

all the nerdy people / where do the all come from?

In my current job I'm performing really well, basically doubling the success of the current campaign I was given to work on. Now my co-workers hate my guts.

Reminds me of my legal internships where I'd win "hopeless" cases and my supervisors would shit all over me.

I'm pretty much ready to pack it all in.

kinda makes you wonder what you're supposed to do eh

xp. real fantasist hours

meanwhile, last year I was given an assignment to rework our training assessments. they prescribed me what they wanted the end result to be, and said I basically just needed to connect the dots. spent about a month putting the SOPs together, got it blessed by all the managers and sales executives. then it came time to pilot it, and nobody would sign up to pilot it, so I said fine, I'll pilot it on my own project.

I piloted it successfully twice and offered to share the results. nope, leadership changed their mind, now they wanted to go a different direction and reworked the process again, meaning I wasted about an entire month. more aggravating, one of our managers shared some skepticism about the efficacy of the new process, even though SHE WAS ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO ASKED TO ME TO IMPLEMENT IT TO BEGIN WITH. my boss got quite the earful.

I've given up on leaving the company for time being as out of all my applying, all the people that contacted me were for jobs that would require me taking a 30k pay cut, so....just keep refreshing the internal job board to see if something better comes along.

xxp I can send you the results if you want. You can call the courts and I'm on the record. Fantasist, my ass.

That's what I'm talking about. My existence makes me a piece of shit. Can't even talk about it anywhere.

Whatever. I'm tired of being alive, so IDGAF anymore.

oooooooooook - no need to go that route, man.

In open space offices, employees create better relationships and work in a team.

JAN: Oh, Mark, I see what you meant about the city manager's office. I called over there, tried to leave a message with Bruce, but got disconnected as soon as they tried to transfer me. You called it, they got me good. Mark?

KEN: He left to get coffee five minutes ago.

We're about to move into a new building next week. People were discussing the new meeting rooms over our skype channel and where the name scheme/list was for the calendar. The rooms are all named after elements for some reason - argon, hydrogen, oxygen etc

The idiot sitting next to me blithely types into the (office-wide) chat "haha thats funny! Like gas chambers!"

O_o

Haha yeah, I immediately winced - theres a few jewish people in our office for starters - then someone else gently pointed out he might want to delete the comment and "pretend you never said it" and he did. lol.

Sounds like something I would've said.

Why I don't chat with the office.

so does anybody else have someone w/ a really similar name in their office that they've been getting emails for due to people not paying attention, for like the last TEN YEARS

my friend has that problem, in that he's Firstname O'Brien and there's a Firstname O'Bryan in the company somewhere

happened again for the first time in like 3 years, had a chuckle. we have the same first name, and last name differs by just 3 letters. He went as far to officially change his first name in the system to his nickname ten years ago which helped, but despite that and despite dude working in a diff state, still happens now and then.

One of the first times it happened, this dude sent an urgent request by email to the right person (other guy), and when he didn't hear back on the latest exchange, mistakenly instant messaged me. I had no clue about my doppleganger at the time and had no clue what he was talking about so he was talking to me like I had a stroke ("we just talked about this"), even called me to discuss. Finally I asked him to send me whatever email he was talking about and he forwarded it and tersely said "Here, ring any bells?!", and then I politely told him to compare the name he was msging to the one on the email.

just attended a very bizarre meeting.

it was a kickoff meeting and I noticed a few usual invitees weren't invited. We all arrived at the start time to dead silence, then the meeting owner pipes in to say "sorry, I'm here guys!" after my lead pings her, then silence again. My lead asks her a question to prod her along, after which she goes silent, and finally says "I'm sorry, isn't this the kickoff meeting", to where the owner says "Oh. Right. This is a meeting *I* scheduled. Geez, I thought it was one you all had scheduled that I was invited to."

It didn't get much better from there. Instead of rescheduling, she tried to pull it off. Her voice became more and more faint and then we could hear what was pretty obviously other people's voices, as if she was in a public place like a store, so everyone tells her they can't hear her and she dials back in. She then says she's going to screenshare something with us, and spends the next 15 minutes rambling and at the end forgets she promised to screenshare and just says she's going to email it to us while apologizing ten times for how awkward the meeting is.

She sounded disoriented like she'd just woken up or something, or taken like a Benadryl and was drowsy, so I wouldn't call her 'stupid', but was like - why didn't you just reschedule it, it'd have been way less awkward!

my friend has that problem, in that he's Firstname O'Brien and there's a Firstname O'Bryan in the company somewhere

― mh, Friday, 25 August 2017 14:07 (four days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Well my heart bleeds for ye over there surely

lol

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Aw5ZkPbCIAEabX8.png

There are two dudes who sit near me who, I'll qualify, are very nice guys but whose respective banality created some sort of banal singularity once they started sitting next to one another. Long, involved, animated conversations about the most incredibly boring things you could possibly imagine. They're currently marveling over plot points of the Santa Clause films.

We've got a fella in here who used to live in the big city, so he's always educating us about how the big city works.

Such as DID YOU KNOW there's a street in New York called "Houston" that's actually pronounced "HOW-stuhn"?

Do they

Do they post on the trump threads do they

pplains, if he ever gets into politics you should drop the "Did you know that Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and.." anecdote and then just kind of stare at him

Long, involved, animated conversations about the most incredibly boring things you could possibly imagine

too easy

>They're currently marveling over plot points of the Santa Clause films.

this sounds amazing.

pplains, if he ever gets into politics you should drop the "Did you know that Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and.." anecdote and then just kind of stare at him

try this one: Henry Adams wrote a novel called 'Democracy' in 1880 featuring a womanising politician called Clinton and a dull also-ran called Gore.

life would be sweet if i could just marvel away at Santa Clause

I may have mentioned this on some other thread but I cannot bear the odor of my immediate deskmate. I dont know if its a cultural thing or a male thing or what, but he reeks so intensely of a combo of cat piss, smokers clothing, cheap shitty south asian patchouli scent and BO that I can smell it *from 15 feet away when he isnt even at his desk*.

I mean I'm honestly at the point of quietly going to my team leader and ... saying something. But what?

people who "work long hours" that really just work slowly and chat too much... they really need to fuck the fuck off.

xpost just leave a box of Irish Spring on his desk

the joe rogan guy pissed me off again today. he is really bad at hiding his passive aggressiveness. You know that laugh these people do? with like no joy whatsoever? i just wish people would either a) COMMUNICATE DIRECTLY or b) fuck the fuck off

oh god I've always hated the awkward pass-agg laugh, my last client did that all the time and I wanted to force choke them.

I sometimes feel bad at laughing at a coworker's laugh because his "amused but not cracking up" laugh sounds like the Count from Sesame Street

Sometimes I unintentionally laugh like Dr Hibbert. I have no idea why.

been signed off for the past six weeks due to stress caused by a toxic working environment and a level of expectation that's completely unrealistic (I'm the third person in the role in two years, I didn't apply for the position but was coerced into the transfer). I'm meeting my manager this afternoon to discuss a possible return to work and I'm dreading it. It's hard to say No to your direct boss, but I know nothing has changed while I've been off and I don't see how I can go back to the same situation and not make myself ill.

7 people pair-programming in the space of 4 desks (next to mine). lots of space elsewhere in the office. show some common sense. (i've taken my laptop to completely empty desk, but they haven't spread out to use the space i vacated yet)

i mentioned being short of things to do in the daily standup. was told there were plenty of unassigned tickets. team-lead then launches back into whatever he was doing yesterday before assigning me anything so i'm sat here posting to ilx instead.

Sorry Boxedjoy, that sounds awful. Our office is having a toxic environment problem too at the moment, caused by (a) mass team restructuring and (b) arseholes. I used to be on our Staff Association, and they're doing a shitty job dealing with it. I'm trying to push them to organise a town hall session where staff can have a cathartic moan and hopefully figure out what our "you can't fuck with us past *this* point" line in the sand is.

Filling in for someone today on their project and helping report out s/ls. Someone wanted to know the combined service level for two skills and before i could quickly calc i get pulled aside and told not to because you can't simply just average the two numbers, it's a "complex equation".

No...it's not. You literally multiply the # of calls answered by the service level % for each skill, which gives you the # of timely calls answered for each skill. You add up the timely calls answered, the overall answered, and divide the firsr by the second, there's your combined s/l. 7th grade algebra.

I shared it anyway

Boxedjoy that sounds terrible. Sympathies and luck.

boxedjoy, recently went through something very similar. Sending you best wishes, hit me up via e-mail if you want to talk