Come anticipate EMOJI: THE MOVIE with me

pvmic

ah fuck i can't go anymore... sometime this week

booooooo

😱😱😱😱😱

I don't get why the reviews for this are so bad. I saw it last night and it ruled. Charlize Theron kicked so much ass and the 80's soundtrack was Cold War-tastic.

YOOOOO CHANGE OF PLANS IM FUCKIN GOING

Lol Neanderthal

OK, briefly... it's not a well constructed or well written movie, a huge missed opportunity. But the disgust and over the top loathing that this movie is receiving isn't because it's not engaging or even that it's a lazy Inside-Out ripoff, it's because it's the complete opposite of an escapist summer movie. There are so many rich philosophical and social questions posed - time and relativity, multiple universes, and the emojis' condition - being restricted to one emotion at birth and imprisoned within Textopolis in the same way that we complain about being imprisoned by social media and our smartphones. It's a pretty heady movie that squanders its premise and isn't engaging. But the Paris sequence with the parents was kind of beautiful, being able to walk inside of your user's Instagram photo roll and explore a frozen world. I mean, it gets pretty fucking out there at times. Wonder Woman is escapism, The Emoji Movie is reality, and it's horrifying. No wonder people have such a visceral reaction to it.

Is it as good as the third matrix movie, Speed Racer, or The Conversation?

It's definitely better than Matrix Revolutions. I didn't see the 2008 Speed Racer. if John Cazale were alive and in The Emoji Movie, it would be better than The Conversation.

had no idea Armond White posted on ILX

oh yeah, there's an "abandoned luggage" emoji that's black (wtf?). there are black emojis and people in the movie, but the abandoned luggage sounds like Katt Williams, says "oh HELL naw," etc.

xpost thank you i consider that a high compliment

def not better than Speed Racer

flappy loved The Angry Birds Movie as well, lest we forget. I look forward to his review of The Bitcoin Adventure and iPhone 10 Cases: The Musical.

the angry birds movie was nothing compared to this. i really came close to crying during that Paris Instagram scene.

besides i'm sort of obligated to support any movie about bird games

a huge missed opportunity

i mean is it tho

It sounds like it captures the magical experience of using Instagram, at least

how the fuck does shit like this get greelit, let alone make it all the way through production?

cocaineisahelluvadrug.gif

Production Budget: $50 million
Opening Weekend Domestic Gross: $25,650,000

That's why.

Keep your eyes peeled for The Charmin Bears and the Dingleberries of Hope, coming to theaters summer 2021!

I know I'll be peeling my eyes.

With a vegetable peeler.

So I'll be blind, you see.

idgi

Cheap, based on established brands, kids will see anything ... I was just talking with a fellow parent about what a dire summer it's been for younger kids movies. The top grossing movie of the year so far is I think Beauty and the Beast, but even that was designed to skew slightly older (and more to girls than boys). But otherwise, for little kids, there's been Despicable Me 3, Captain Underpants, Cars 3, Smurfs 3 (was this even released?) ... Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature is coming in a week or so. No, I did not make that title up.

CG kids movies are one of the most profitable genres these days, and it looks like this one was made cheaply, and the premise is practically designed for attracting financing, and emojis are in the public domain

i'll say one thing about this misbegotten horror of a movie, it feels like a perfect summation of the current cultural climate, albeit entirely unintentionally

Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature is coming in a week or so. No, I did not make that title up.

nut job 3: deez nuts, coming summer 2019

I just realized that I may need to unpack my Charmin Bears reference above for those who don't live in the US (since this may as well be a repository for signs of the end of western civilization). You see, they're an animated family of bears who've switched to Charmin brand toilet paper because the cheaper brand they'd been using was giving them rampant dingleberries. By the grace of god, this fact is left more implicit than explicit, but still.

why would bears choose to use toilet paper at all when there's likely a decent supply of geese around for them to take care of their dingleberry issues

And the initial employment of the animated bears was a riff on the old 'does a bear shit in the woods?' joke. Highbrow fellas, these Charmin execs.

xpost Beautiful.

i feel like, without really being aware of it happening, i've nonetheless become ilx's number-one advocate of a) using geese to wipe your ass and b) referring to soylent green at every opportunity

it's a living i guess

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

i'll say one thing about this misbegotten horror of a movie, it feels like a perfect summation of the current cultural climate, albeit entirely unintentionally

oh, please. this movie isn't an advertisement for anything - you could say Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc... but do they even need advertising at this point? there's nothing crass about it. it's about something most of use and spend a lot of time on every day, and it is horrifying in a way, because you have to confront the world we live in for 86 minutes instead of going to Narnia or Gotham or wherever the Minions come from. Don't get me wrong - it's not a well made movie, but it's getting criticized on the merits of the concept, which, perhaps in the hands of the people that made Zootopia, could've been executed in a more thoughtful way.

"a summation of our current cultural climate" in what way?

there's nothing crass about it.

there's nothing crass about it.

✌️

Is a thing you actually said about The Emoji Movie.

Yes

Why is it crass? Emojis are public domain. Many of us use them everyday. More of us have smartphones. A movie about that is not inherently crass. The Angry Birds Movie was crass (piss humor).

Sony missed a trick by not hiring you for their marketing team.

we are talking about the movie where there's a literal talking piece of shit, right

Is it as good as the third matrix movie, Speed Racer, or The Conversation?

― El Tomboto, Sunday, July 30, 2017 8:42 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wait did anybody answer this question earnestly, is this movie anything like my three favorite movies of all time

yes i did upthread

we are talking about the movie where there's a literal talking piece of shit, right

Poop is not in it. Way overrepresented in advertising. Has 4 lines at most. Nothing compared to Angry Birds watersports scene.