Come anticipate EMOJI: THE MOVIE with me

Cheap, based on established brands, kids will see anything ... I was just talking with a fellow parent about what a dire summer it's been for younger kids movies. The top grossing movie of the year so far is I think Beauty and the Beast, but even that was designed to skew slightly older (and more to girls than boys). But otherwise, for little kids, there's been Despicable Me 3, Captain Underpants, Cars 3, Smurfs 3 (was this even released?) ... Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature is coming in a week or so. No, I did not make that title up.

CG kids movies are one of the most profitable genres these days, and it looks like this one was made cheaply, and the premise is practically designed for attracting financing, and emojis are in the public domain

i'll say one thing about this misbegotten horror of a movie, it feels like a perfect summation of the current cultural climate, albeit entirely unintentionally

Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature is coming in a week or so. No, I did not make that title up.

nut job 3: deez nuts, coming summer 2019

I just realized that I may need to unpack my Charmin Bears reference above for those who don't live in the US (since this may as well be a repository for signs of the end of western civilization). You see, they're an animated family of bears who've switched to Charmin brand toilet paper because the cheaper brand they'd been using was giving them rampant dingleberries. By the grace of god, this fact is left more implicit than explicit, but still.

why would bears choose to use toilet paper at all when there's likely a decent supply of geese around for them to take care of their dingleberry issues

And the initial employment of the animated bears was a riff on the old 'does a bear shit in the woods?' joke. Highbrow fellas, these Charmin execs.

xpost Beautiful.

i feel like, without really being aware of it happening, i've nonetheless become ilx's number-one advocate of a) using geese to wipe your ass and b) referring to soylent green at every opportunity

it's a living i guess

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

i'll say one thing about this misbegotten horror of a movie, it feels like a perfect summation of the current cultural climate, albeit entirely unintentionally

oh, please. this movie isn't an advertisement for anything - you could say Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc... but do they even need advertising at this point? there's nothing crass about it. it's about something most of use and spend a lot of time on every day, and it is horrifying in a way, because you have to confront the world we live in for 86 minutes instead of going to Narnia or Gotham or wherever the Minions come from. Don't get me wrong - it's not a well made movie, but it's getting criticized on the merits of the concept, which, perhaps in the hands of the people that made Zootopia, could've been executed in a more thoughtful way.

"a summation of our current cultural climate" in what way?

there's nothing crass about it.

there's nothing crass about it.

✌️

Is a thing you actually said about The Emoji Movie.

Yes

Why is it crass? Emojis are public domain. Many of us use them everyday. More of us have smartphones. A movie about that is not inherently crass. The Angry Birds Movie was crass (piss humor).

Sony missed a trick by not hiring you for their marketing team.

we are talking about the movie where there's a literal talking piece of shit, right

Is it as good as the third matrix movie, Speed Racer, or The Conversation?

― El Tomboto, Sunday, July 30, 2017 8:42 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wait did anybody answer this question earnestly, is this movie anything like my three favorite movies of all time

yes i did upthread

we are talking about the movie where there's a literal talking piece of shit, right

Poop is not in it. Way overrepresented in advertising. Has 4 lines at most. Nothing compared to Angry Birds watersports scene.

feel like Mrs Darbus looking for another volunteer

and ill answer the third one earnestly now: no, The Emoji Movie is not as good as The Conversation

Whew.

is it as good as The World According to GArp

Didn't see it

just to be clear where we are now itt, we're splitting hairs about which is more crass: a movie featuring a talking turd or a movie featuring avian watersports

Its better than Vertigo but not quite as good as Citizen Kane. its more on the level of La Regle du Jeu.

yes... I think the difference is clear 😉

We're also overemploying a particularly limited definition of 'crass'. I'd argue that the more pertinent meaning is, say, a hungover Sony animation exec who woke up late and scrambled madly about his person for an idea to present in his morning meeting, cycling through and dismissing children's movies based on socks and hair gel and little bags of cocaine before finally opening his phone and realizing that no one has made a film about those stupid little icon things his kids use all the time, what are they called. Luckily, someone in the meeting knows what they're called and they're like, sure, The Emoji Movie, we don't have to shell out any money for the property and the American public will scarf down any plateful of animated shit we set down before them, why the fuck not.

"those stupid little icon things"

overly dismissive of emojis. people, especially young kids, use them every single day - and the movie notes that, makes obvious comparison to hieroglyphics. fwiw I would see a movie about the alphabet

the American public will scarf down any plateful of animated shit we set down before them

how quickly we forget delgo

fwiw I would see a movie about the alphabet

i salute your indefatigability

Like, treating whatever lies beneath the lowest common denominator as a frontier to be explored and mined for the sake of bilking a public you have naked contempt for is pretty much exactly what I mean when I say 'crass'. Unless we're talking anarchic punk bands.

kinda with flappy bird here. you all love superhero movies

Cogent challops.

superhero movies draw on the better part of a century's worth of narratives worked on by literally thousands of creatives, the emoji movie draws on the lil' drawings of eggplants and crying faces that live in your phone, i dunno that it's a particularly meaningful comparison

every single superhero movie ends with a good vs evil punch-off, not really that much of a stretch as comparisons go

Well by god if flappy and lj both challop it then it's so i spect

the emoji movie ends with a good vs evil punch-off?

I'm just saying this rich tradition involving hundreds of creatives sure does seem to have been shunted into pretty much exactly the same form over and over and over when it hits the movies

yeah, and while we're here what's with all these fuckin' sports movies where one team ends up victorious over the other

good vs evil is baked into the superhero premise - it's not a bug, it's a feature

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ_t1eOAipo

Help, I cannot tell the difference between a Sherlock Holmes and the postage stamps/cutlery/carpet samples that a film exec arbitrarily decided to assign personalities to.

"The expression 'the narcissism of minor differences', I will translate in direct terms as 'conformist terror'."

people, especially young kids, use them every single day

This doesn't make it right.

the emoji epidemic

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--REiWqfGk--/vzi7e7yb0xpt2f260m5t.jpg